Tell me your stories Sup Forums

Tell me your stories Sup Forums

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=I19lVVK44GA
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>be me 14
>just finished school
>suddenly need to fap
>get naked
>photoshop sister's face into 100 boy CP pics
>print them all out
>arrange them all on the floor
>prop up a mirror so I could watch myself
>keep fapping and edging it for about thirty minutes
>moaning YOOU NASTY LITTLE WHORE GIVE ME YOUR HAIRLESS DICK I WANT TO BITE IT OFF
>ejaculate boiling hot jizz all over the pics
>collapse panting and sweating
>nearly black out from the joyful orgasm
>look up
>realize I'm in McDonalds

...

>be me 25
>engaged, happily for the last 5 years
>have son 3 yr
>start to argue about separating
>my house tho
>wants me to leave
>no.jpg
>accuse of molesting
>cops says leave!
>left
>drinking alrightish whisky atm

I laughed

>be matt damon
>be left on mars
>omg what do i do, i'm gonna die
>i will grow potato out of shit
>fuck yeah it works
>guys come back for me
>yaaay i'm saved

I messed around with a fat girl from steam. She's kinda slutty but nice as Fuck.

>women

gtfo fucking pedo

Amen!

>be matthew mccohogonageuy
>my daighter thinks there are ghosts
>stupid fuck
>go on a space travel
>omg, i'm the ghost

>be in high school 2007
>11th grade first day
for back stories i failed my algebra in 9th and 10th grade
>go into school
>walk into algebra class and some kids see me
>get made fun of
>school ends and i leave and retreat into my house and WoW
>end up going through 11th grade friendless, rarely talk and get a 2.1 gpa
>fail german regents and various other tests
>1 on ap test
.pass algebra though
>12th grade
>finally get to geometry
>end up getting a C as my highest grade all year
>end up failing final
>fuckthis.jpg
>drop out
>no diploma
>NEET for 8 years going on
>literally sit on muh pc in a trailer in literally where Kentucky
>get money from mom and NEETbux
>i sit on pc for 13 hours
>walk around fields for a little looking for foods
>either eat eggs from my hens, get dollar meal at mcdicks (i have to ride a bike to get to it) or go hungry
>dont have a working toilet
>pc has been the same since 06

where did it go so wrong?

I can't think of a set up but
>open the door
>get on the floor
>walk the dinosaur

>be me
>24 y.o virgin
>autistic as fuck
>get a crush on this 6.5/10 girl, huge tits tho
>she seems to like me but doesn't know just how fucking degenerate I am
>we date for a while, even make out once or twice
>I never move on her, way too insecure, she goes back to normal life, I go back to having a crush on her
>fast forward 3 months
>hey user, wanna come over and watch family guy with me?
>I hate that shit but whatever, grab some snacks and go to her place
>we watch family guy, listen to some music
>starting to get bored, lay down on bed
>she lays nearby and starts scrolling insta/fb or some shit
>complain that I can't properly see the screen cause her breast is covering it up
>"well do something about it"
>I pick the tit and move it slightly so I can see the smartphone screen better
>30 minutes later she tells me it's kinda late and she has to work the next day
>call a cab, say goodbye, halfway to my place I realize that she wanted to have sex
>how the fuck am was I even able to survive up to that point remains a fucking mistery

get your GEd and get a job, it went wrong when you stopped giving a fuck and your mother still treated you like a child

dont call it NEETbucks you fucking leech sotp avoiding the fact that you are a fuck up

get a job fucker

to much anxiety..there have been times i have neglected to even get my neetbux and havent left my house in months at a time
>my mom gave me food though

get medication for anxiety that shit exists for a reason

also jackin it 3 times a day doesn't help with anxiety believe me kek

At least you know you're autistic as fuck

i dont masturbate much..i never have
>ive never had white cum ejaculate
>i only have clear stuff come out

>be me, 19 in uni
>friend meets girl in class
>introduces me to her
>i fuck her
>i meet her friend
>tell original girl to kys
>almost fuck her friend
>tell her to also kys

thats about it

to clarify i did as a teen but around 16 i gave up

when you decided to not improve upon your lack of a personality, seriously bro, you have no one else to blame but yourself. dont even do that, realize that you failed and start over, go out and improve yourself. dont find a fucking reason you lazy fuck, i swear too many lifeless virgins try to find excuses not to improve themselves and procrastinate, just do it.

It was couple years ago, it's getting better I guess + my degeneracy only kicks in during sex/relationship stuff, I'm kinda normie otherwise
kinda ruined that girls self esteem for a while

i dont care that much..i do like my life..if i lose my trailer and i dont get money any more ill chris knight myself

thats just diet man.

look into anxiety medication

this. they always say "anxiety"

30 years ago it was called fucking lazy and being a coward

anxiety is post-hillary clinton lmfao

i guess im a lazy coward, i dont know what you want user..i know im a loser

holy cow

give yourself a chance

listen man all you gotta do is give yourself a chance. you're not gonna bget everything you want right away alright, but the first thing you should do is goto the doctor for anxiety medication.

that should help you bro. dont look at it all at once, take it day by day. you got this.

i did, i failed high school, i was stupid as fuck back then..im stupider now spednign around 15-28k hours infront of muh pc or xbox/tv

but i am happy with my life

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Banana thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Sup Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Banana guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Sup Forums posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.

ignorance is bliss

get a job nigga

how much does your mother give you per month anyways

I kinda have trouble walking in places with a lot of things going on at once. Like next to a road with lots of cars. I get the feeling everyone is looking at me and judging me, while in my mind I know this is not true. It's a daily battle for me, unless I can be distracted. Let's say walk with someone else I like, then the place is no problem for me at all.

you need a life goal. are you really gonna waste your one chance at living infront of the PC. I would gradually stop entirely with the PC and just do something else, it does wonders.

i spend lots of time behind my pc too but i still have a life outside of it

600
>i get around 3000-5000 a year from my investments which i use for water/food and power
>im saving up to get a new toilet before it gets cold and it snows again
>i hate the outhouse

grill wanted to fuck. tried to throw herself at me. me being autistic was chatting with wow guild. grill thot it was my gf bcuz i kept texting... she ran out of study group in tears. im like wtf? she dropped the class. never seen her again. i ask the teachers aid to try and explain myself but nope. she was a 10/10. im still a virgin. now overweight as fuck now. feels bad man. 10 yrs ago. fml :(

good for you, i live in a small ass county with nothing..i live rural and isolated from the world
>i go of my property out for food, my fast food, and get my neetbux, and well thats it

so stop eating and saying fuck my life, do you wanna suffer til you die or actually do something

do it

>I fucking love chinese food
>it's the best

Best Sup Forums story ever
youtube.com/watch?v=I19lVVK44GA

wouldnt you get bad bacteria from putting water up your ass

>be me
>28
>unemployed
>still living with my parents
>both ill
>no gf

Should I neck myself, Sup Forums?

>get job
>move out of parents
>get self-respect
>get mad pussy
nah ur good

its really this easy.

i dont get people, are they depressed cus they have nothing or are they depressed cus they actually have to fucking try

>be me, oldfag
>date much younger Chinese-American girl for 7 months (long distance)
>no kissing, no sex, but sleep together a lot
>figure she's a weird virgin or something
>receive a text about 1am "frank when can we [have] sex"
>mfw my name isn't frank
>mfw when I know frank
>upallnightconvulsingviolently.mp4
>flash forward, never discussed, she marries fat Filipino guy and finds god
>every time I think of her, I wish she steps in front of a speeding truck

Why are you surprised that people hate the idea of getting a job?
I can't think of anything more spirit crushing and depressing.

>inbf4 3spoopy5me

>getting a job spirit crushing, depressing

what about your parents that actually have a job and support your "neetbux"? you think they don't feel like you are a waste of time?

selfish faggots

my logic is that getting a job that is depressing doesn't make any sense. A job should be something you want. As you'll be spending most of your life doing that.
Now you might say it's not that easy, but I gurantee that if you put enough effort into it you will eventually succeed. If you're not prepared to put effort into it maybe it's not for you.

>be on the chon
/>b/ing like a mofo
>say hey hun look at this shit
>been alone for seven years

Omfg lol!

Could make a decent b grade movie out of this.

Roll

You don't really dispute it.
Low end jobs most likely suck, and only the desperate apply for them. Especially for people who dislike social interaction in the first place

Yes nobody wants to rely on their parents, but they don't want to work either.

only the desperate apply for them?

id rather be desperate than live off my mother when i am 30 fuckin years old, planning suicide once she cuts off the money

>id rather be desperate
What does this mean?
The question is whether you would rather work.

What part of kentucky?
I'm from a literal farm on kentucky so I understand that being in the middle of nowhere really tanks your will to be sociable as it's neither easy nor do you have many options in the way of people surrounding you.

kek

And that's the last time I ever dated.

...

it means why make my life a burden on my mother when i can even out the suffering.

True story
>be doing PhD in late 1970s
>Spend a year at Academy of sciences in Berlin
>Don't speak German, don't fit in, only make friends with a muslim kid named Mehmet
>meet hot young blonde. Recently married but in a loveless marriage
>Late library nights lead to flrting lead to hook up lead to affair
>I like kinky sex, we push limits together
>Try to talk her into a threesome with me and Mehmet
>She keeps refusing but eventually talk her into it
>Tells us to start each other up with 69 while she watches and masturbates
>Then she comes over and slides her pussy onto me while I'm still sucking Mehmet
>After she and I come we tell her it's Mehmet's turn to fuck her
>She laughs, looks me in the eye and says "can't Turk the Merk" and walks out of my life.

>it means why make my life a burden on my mother when i can even out the suffering.
Maybe his mother makes enough for two.
She might not, because she will have less savings.
But I'm not sure.

i guess i just wasn't raised the same way.

You're welcome for the welfare, asshole

>I understand that being in the middle of nowhere really tanks your will to be sociable
i only moved there to be away from my town and kids in my school, im from new Jersey but my grandma gave me land in Kentucky and i live in a trailer

Aw so opposite of me then, I moved from kentucky to LA. I love the city. I hate towns where everyone knows everyone and it takes 1 hour to drive anywhere. Here I can walk anywhere and don't have to bother driving and meet cool people in my weekly bar hopping sprees.

Only thing I hate is whenever I say I'm from kentucky everyone instantly goes I could tell cause your accent. I know I have no damn accent they just think they are so smart with that response.


Side tangent aside, do you just not want to do anything? Surely you have some hobbies or interest, even ones that don't require other people like wood working or fishing. With all that free time you don't just sit at home on a computer all day right?

I vape. :)

I thought for a long time that what I wanted in life was to achieve something very high in this field and to never give up. I did just that and I stopped hanging out with people and ended up focusing on studying and learning either at work or at home. Eventually things went south and I was being promoted and had to train other people and teach them my skills, that's kind of where I learned that other people who work with me don't really know shit and they don't put in the amount of effort as me. I stopped studying since I was always alone and always studying or working on something from work, I completely gave up on studying for certifications 3 months ago and have spent every day playing video games. Truth be told, I have no friends and this work/life is really painful on the mind since you can be really good at what you do and one day you figure out that other people actually socialize outside of work and you're the guy who never gets invited anywhere.

>With all that free time you don't just sit at home on a computer all day right?

ive been doing it since high school and after i failed algebra in 9th grade went to WoW over the summer and got addicted, no bullying, people liked me there, my guild was pretty decent and close together, around 40 depressed bullied teens and like 6 40 year old NEETS

>then around 2014 a guy in my guild killed himself and it wasnt the same after that
.the game also started sucking

noqw i browse Sup Forums and watch shitty tv and play some vidya, but i never feel happy

>i raise hens for eggs

>Date girl for a year
>Break up the second another girl shows up
>Do this for years in a row
>Some of the girls I left were wife material and should have stayed with but I always leave the second a new girl shows up and has interest in me
How do I fix my commitment issues? I don't know if its I just get bored after I know everything about a person or what, new just always seem exciting and fresh even if it turns out to be shit.


No I'm not some manwhore or bragging, if you have any social skills at all and go outside more than once a week it's really easy to meet people. Fuck just use tinder if you have to, that works.

If you raise hens for eggs why don't you start having a small farm or petting zoo? Start getting goats or cows. You have everything you need to start a small business but aren't taking advantage of it.

If you own land make use of it, sell the trees, start planting crops, have fun and make some extra money on the side. All good

i dont have enough land..i also cant be asked..i have 3 hens..the rest sounds way to hard

>recommends a petting zoo
What a total and complete retard you must be.

Fucking retard

Why dont you go growing a brain, retardos piece of shit

Udder retard

>start a petting zoo
LMAO
you fucking retard

delete this

606 here, where the fuck are you

always one faggot that's determined to spoil it....

>be me
>was molested multiple times at a young age, 4-7
>Can't sustain a serious sexual relationship, just hurts, always reminded of my ages of molestation.
>Girlfriend broke up with me yesterday
>Have to fill that void with diablo 3 and random flirting with some stupid sluts that I hate.
>Shit's ok tho

ZYou guys wont believe this but hey what do i care. This moment changed my life. Posted this cpl days ago, wanna share again

2007 be 24
Having lunch break on a park bench downtown. Real nice summer day, people everywhere. Wasn't paying attention when the person sitting next to me left, but noticed they had left a sports bag under the bench. I was going to leave it well alone thinking it probably had gross sweaty gym gear in there. But something kept telling me to check it out. I pretended it was mine, leaned down and unzipped it a little.
> See some $20s and $50s.
Instantly put food down pick up bag fuck off as quickly but calmly as I can. Didn't even think about being a good citizen, just thought 'fuck there's probably a grand there, I'm taking it, finders keepers.'
Walked a block opened the bag a little more and realised it was full of money. Can't go back to work with this

Freak out, sweating wondered if someone is following me. Hail a cab, go a few blocks, got out, hail another then went straight home. Sitting in the back I looked further in, bags of dope and just bundles of cash. Biggest rush of my life
Get home call boss say I had vomited. Won't be back tomorrow either. Tipped the money onto bed started counting. When i get to $10k and barely made a dent in the pile knew i had scored fucking big.
> Final tally $38,090.
Get rid of drugs. Hid money under the house. Didnt even tell my gf. Thought it safer that way. Slowly spent it over the next few years on odd things, groceries, dinner, pizzas, movies, lottery tickets, scratch card that kind of thing.

My heart still pounds when I think about that moment. And fuck it was amazing counting all that money on my bed, I just kept laughing and punching the air like Tom Cruise or some shit.
Still think about my good luck, feel sorry for the guy who would've gotten dealt to real hard for losing that bag. But hey, that was his problem

Tldr: keep your eyes open. You never know what good fortune might come your way

606

No fuckin' way. What part? Grayson, morehead, ashland, greenup?

I remember you from the thread you made an hour ago.

what's the problem with repeating stories, after all that's what stories are for retelling and spreading.

>be me last night
>been playing amra3 all day
>playing koth
>climbing tower on objective
>get shot down climbing stairs
>shit
>ask someone to revive me
>some low level fag shows up
>good enough
>he steals all of my shit
>thiskidsgonnadie.jpg
>he revives me and runs cuz he has my shit
>tell my squad they all kek
>but i don't laugh
>i want revenge
>run to top of tower after kid ask for shit
>he shoots me
>nah that didn't just happen
>spawn in, buy tank and drive to tower
>ask kid if stealing my stuff was worth it
HELL YEAH IT WAS MAN I'M GETTING TONS OF KILLS
>okay
>jet fuel can't melt steal beams but tank shells can
>tower collapses while the kids up there
>he screams the scream of tortured soul
>everyone fucking freaks out because they thought a dog got hit outside of their house he was so loud
>kid complains to admin
>admin keks and bans him
>mfw

Nothing, I really hope things go well for you user.

>well kids, here's a story about how I met OPs mother.

i was chatting for 10 days or so with a female who looked alright. By alright i mean characterwise. Most tinder bitches are the usual stacies with tons of makeup and thousands instagram followers but this girl seemed like the girl from the next door. Lookswise she was a 6.7/10. She was friendly to me & seemed interested. She asked me several times how was my day and such and used lots of smileys and shit. We agreed to meet for a walk or a drink. Our date was only 45min long. When i first saw her i immediately brightened up. She seemed to be in good mood too. We went for a walk at the beach and talked about us. I made her laugh a few times and i rly thought it was going well. When i asked her to go for a drink,she refused. She said thats enough for a first date and she wants to go home. I asked her if we will meet again and she said no i dont think so. I asked her why not and she said there is not good communication between us. I told her so what,i m a man and you are a woman and thats enough. She said no it's not enough. I asked her do you find me ugly?she said awww no,i m sry but sometimes it is like that. I told her no it's not sometimes like that,it's always like that. At this point i could not keep it anymore so i told her good night and walked away and broke out in tears. She blocked me on whatsapp within 10minutes without saying anything.
As i was crying i decided suddenly to go to the brothel. I had no intention to fuck though. I entered the building and saw 3 stacies in full bimbo mode. I approached them and said hi. One of them asked me do you want to come inside?i said sure why not. . She closed the door and asked me do you want a bj or sex? I told her i want to see you naked. That polish dumb cunt with her kindergarten level english could not understand the word naked. I tried to explain to her but after of 2-3 minutes of arguing she became mad and told me to get out of there.
I m pretty sure i m going to kill myself in the next 3 years.

So much good shit ITT, Sup Forums youve got some interesting tales to tell.
will keep refreshing

Dude. I think you need a change of scenery. Total reboot of your life.

Move town, get a new job somewhere else. How things are going atm just ain't working for you.

>date a smoking hot bottle waitress
>she has no car or license from DWI
>do anything and everything for her
>she goes to jail for 2 months
>wait for her faithfully, visit etc
>she gets out
>starts shooting heroine
>still trying for her
>tell her she needs help
>she denies and lies
>finally catch her in the act
>flip out and drive her home
>can't enable it
>she goes away and gets clean
>she comes back
>wants nothing to do with me
>painful shit
>2 years later still love her
>new gf is better but still love her