OK fuckers here's something that still fucks me up

OK fuckers here's something that still fucks me up.

> be me
> be 18 and going to college
> literally only 1 kiss virgin at the time.
> bullied literally because i was big, tall, and attractive by unattractive fucking 5'4 manlets.
> dad yells at me so much when he tries to be nice to me and show me love, I literally feel more uncomfortable than anyone in the world.
> have severe anxiety from abusing marijuana
> think about how easy killing myself would be
> not that bad at talking to girls really.
> fast forward to a year later
> in another college course because the anxiety of the other college caused me to quit.
> go to college in another city by bus every morning.
> start literally obsessing about how i've never gotten laid.
> At this point i have wished on my birthday about having a girlfriend since the age of 9 every single time i have blown my candles out.
> literally to this day the only thing i wish for on my birthday is to have a girlfriend, and have sex when i blow my candles out.
> I was sexually aware since the age of 10 when i first jacked off to porn.
> literally on the bus and the only thing i can fucking think about is all these college and university girls around me.
> have an addiction to candid ass filming in video form.
> literally seek girls out in public (like the mall) to film candid girls.
I have amazing fucking footage but I will never share lolol. my fap material bitches.
> be 22 and experiment by growing mushrooms in my room.
> do mushrooms over 7 times. never really feel much improvement in my emotions
> do mushrooms 1 other time and drink a few beers.
> literally lay on the grass with my friend for over 2 hours literally having a fucking orgasm inside of my own mind.
> every single amount of feel good chemical like serotonin, and dopamine flooding my brain
> legit think back that I could have fuckin jizzed my pants if i had thought about it hard enough
> Feel like a kid again for the rest of the trip. everything is new !

Continue ?

PLEASE contine user !

u sound like a faget Sup Forumsro

Literally

?

...

seriously has Sup Forums turned into a place that doesn't appreciate greentexts like this.

please user, continue for the sake of the ancient Sup Forums users who understand

I am literally so sad from this post because of the way Sup Forums has become this shitty.

please user /continue this thread

Pls cont. user

I have the cure for you OP.

Go to strip clubs, fuck whores, don't mind about your style, they only care about the money.

Tell the tales to your friends and school, soon girls will know you are experienced in sex, I mean... you FUCK like a pig. eventually they will start to notice u

user plz

Keep going faggot

aight

>using the word literally more than once in the same sentence

> Be me after experiencing that fucking feeling on mushrooms of absolute fucking pure joy and pleasure.
> Depression reduced by almost 80%
> feel happy for one time in over a year.
> best release of my life. literally love to ride the bus because i make music on the computer and look at pretty girls.
> literally start appreciating beauty instead of fucking hating it.
> It literally saved me from suicide. the only thing i usually felt was pure black hatred. anyone who has felt this much anger, hatred, and absolute rage knows what that black. black hole feels like.
>when i was 19 i went to a college dance and my friend invited me. this was before the mushrooms
>held hands and danced with beautiful blonde teenager. she got pulled away from her friend
>eventually find bigger girl but very cute.
>she dances with me and we make out for around an hour. best interaction with a female I had had at that point.

cont.

Moar user. Your story is very good.

Youre gud at this.

> before this shit that happened i literally was elliot rodger. I would maybe have assaulted couples kissing in public for no reason
> i could have been the couple punching bandit
> i would never have had the balls to kill myself or other people, but i always felt a constant suffering anxiety that controlled my life. I wouldn't even know or feel what happiness was like until that mushroom trip. it feels like it hard reset my brain and allowed me to live.
>be me now. 24 year old virgin, but fairly chad. I take girls on dates and have no problem with it at all.
>just waiting for the right one to come along. I think i may have one lined up.
>I pretty much just wanted people to know that you can feel like elliot rodger, and become a great person because of it.
> you just have to cope with it as much as possible, and experiment with mushrooms, or mdma. like something that allows healing emotionally

I would try to fuck as many hoes as I can if I were you.

> the lack of studies with this shit really fucks with me because i would have committed suicide if it wasn't for mushrooms. seriously would have elliot rodger'ed myself or some shit.

> now i just understand that the depth of the brain was beyond my comprehension before this mushroom trip.
> i did not understand that the brain could feel so fucking amazing.
> I hade NO idea that your brain had the capability to feel that good in life. It made me feel like everything was fucking ok for once.
> I mean i still struggle with depression and anxiety. mostly because i smoke a lot of weed still even though it gives me anxiety.
>Ive used weed as a crutch for about 8 years.
> i hope some of you people who are extremely depressed and realise that you have literally nothing to lose start experimenting with drugs like mushrooms and mdma.
> if you are literally planning on killing yourself, what the fucking fuck have you got to lose dude.
> these drugs can literally heal your mind beyond your imagination if you use them in the right mindset.
> fucking test this shit out my suicidal Sup Forumsros.
>ill be here for you guys all i can.

tfw done almost every drug i can get my grubby hands on and i still want to murder everyone i see everywhere, can't stop this rage mate not even with great shroom trips.

this is most unfortunate my friend. i suggest a psychiatrist at that point

Already done,
Apparently at worst all i have is "ocpd" but other than that they said they can't do jack shit to help the violent thoughts.
Feelsbadman

>

I know that feel, user. What ends up happening is I remember those great trips and get even more depressed and violent since it's my only coping mechanism

that picture hahaha

So you were a virgin autist that tried drugs and now you're still an autistic virgin but you're also a drug addict

10/10 op great