ITT- tard stories

ITT- tard stories

>be me
>in high school
>normal day so far, currently in math class learning about calculus or some shit
>high school lets all the tards do things like help pick up attendances, empty garbage cans, etc. to keep them occupied
>one tard named mason went around taking attendance
>not sure exactly what he had, but he was loud as fuck and had no filter between his brain and his mouth
>mason was coming around to pick up attendance reports that morning
>we're in the middle of a lesson when suddenly the door flies open at the speed of light
>it's fucking mason
>the kid is in a superhero pose, chin up, hands at his hips
>BAZINGA
>thefuck.mp4
>he came in and shouted "bazinga" for no discernable reason
>everybody is really confused
>mason is giggling like the tard that he is
>teacher yells at mason for interrupting the class
>herewego.png
>mason starts crying, and i mean this kid is bawling his fucking eyes out
>wrangler goes to take him away
>mason screeches with the anger of 10 thousand spartans
>punches the brick wall with the force of a truck
>audible cracking
>mason looks at his hand
>he's completely fucking shattered his fingers, there's even bone sticking out of one of them
>he looks up at the wrangler
>shits himself
>faints
>mfw

I've got more stories that include and don't include Mason if you want to hear them.

moar op. my thread has gone shit

Excellent.
Moar

Anal

Bump. OP better deliver

Bumping

moar or fagu

More Mason tarding it up.

I aim to please. This one doesn't include Mason.

>be me
>middle school, grade 8
>have to make a short game and play it with the grade 6s
>get a shit group
>fine
>choose statue, where basically one person is a "night guard" and the rest of the people are "statues", and they can't move as long as the guard is looking at them. the statues are out if they're seen and win if they touch the nightguard
>class we're told to present to has a tard in it
>gonnabegood.rar
>begin the game, everyone in the class is having fun
>tard ends up eventually being the nightguard
>he has no fucking clue what's happening or how to play
>he gets surrounded by people
>a girl tags him a little harder than she should've
>tard begins to screech
>he begins to muster up the power of his little tard spirit
>achieves his final form
>level99.gif
>yells louder than a fucking gunshot
>says to the girl "I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU BITCH"
>supertard begins flipping desks with a surprising amount of force
>the teacher desperately calls for a wrangler
>tard is throwing chairs at people as the class is evacuated
>look into class as we are leaving, tard is holding a metal hole puncher
>bashes hole puncher into a computer monitor, the monitor shatters
>continues to beat the poor monitor into submission
>class gets brought outside
>i excuse myself
>ripsides.exe

One of the most life-changing experiences of my life.

Im glad i came on when i did, OP.

Please more

>in high school we had a tard who would come to pick up the attendances each morning
>there was a kid who came to class high. like reaking of pot
>she walked in and he yelled "THERE'S THAT CRAZY KID!"
>tard runs out crying
>teacher yells at high kid
>principle comes and drags high kid out

another time

>day before christmas break
>watching Christmas Vacation in gym class because i dont fucking know why but we were
>tard class comes in to watch to
>scene where he falls off the ladder and pulls all the lights off the house comes on
>tard flips out
>like combination of laughter and screaming
>starts rolling around on the floor
>ranglers drag him out

Neither of these stories really happened.

This

I used to work in a supermarket and i was up by the returns counter talking to my buddy and we see this tard come tearing through the front door and start flailing his arms at the little old man greeter, followed shortly by his father/wrangler/whatever who runs in behidn him and full force tackles this kid in an attempt to save the little old man, who was completely unharmed because the tard (while loud and clearly agitated) was actually just limp wrist spaghetti arming this dude, much to his horror. once the guy had the kid pinned he started wailing like a dying horse for a while until our security guy came up and talked them all down.

>at lunch these three tards always sat at the table next to us
>they were in the sped class, but didn't need to be watched at lunch like the other hurr-durrs
>we had names for all three of them
>the first one was pube-man
>he had the nastiest black curly hair on his head
>they looked exactly like pubes
>the second one was crispy
>everytime we got served french fries he would walk around and ask people if they wanted their "crispy" burnt ends
>it was some cringe level shit
>my friend once rubbed his on his nuts and crispy ate them without knowing
>finally the last one was mapjew
>he used to read maps everyday while he ate lunch
>he had a different one every day
>sometimes it was atlases, sometimes big ass road maps, but one day he brought a fucking globe
>the jew part was because my friends used to throw pennies and he would chase them all over the cafeteria
>my friends are assholes

>be at school in class
>math test about to start
>the girl I like is sitting next to me
>I get a boner and start sweating
>she notices and starts laughing
>she tells the classroom
>I get embarrassed and forgot to take a whit before class started
>the class erupts in laughter
>I've had enough
>I go full rage mode and lock the classroom door
>I call upon the power of demons to spawn nooses to hang everyone to the ceiling
>everyone starts hanging and shitting and pissing all over themselves
>I erupt into laughter and start magically jerking off and fingering everyone
>everyone is screaming
>I summon spikes to impale everyone
>some of the girls were pregnant, and the fetus falls out
>I get hungry and start feasting on the fetus while I cum my pants
>the baby shits everywhere cause it's a faggot
>the teacher walks in and takes a big stinky shit
>everyone has shit on the floor by now
>all the shit slides together like the T1000
>big shit monster spawns and pisses everywhere
>it smells so bad
>it breaks the door down and slams feces all over the wall
>starts jerking me off
>I big cums
>pull out a gun and shoot myself
>everyone in the school shits themselves and the septic tanks explode
>the end

Not shure if the girls were tards but they where most definatly autistic as fuck

>be me
>be 18
>new highschool
>moving from private school to public school
>the school im moving to is known for its band and autistic emo kids
>culture shocked by the power of autism at school
>kids playing on 3ds's wearing anime shirts
>cringe at the autism
>i ask my friend why doesnt anybidy bully these fags
>he tells me if you think these kids are bad you should have been here last year
>he tells me that there where atleast 60 girls last year who wore cat ears and skirts and tgigh high socks
>they also wore collars and meowed
>they had a leader and everything
>she was a senior who ate all her food with chopsticks and cut her fingernails like cat claws
>apparently someone brought a leesh to school one day and the cat girls attacked him
>mfw he had to go to the hospital because of cuts to the retinas
>apparently the next day cat ears where banned by the principle because he thought it was a gang

>I was sad cause my cat died
>friend comes over
>he says hi
>says let's bury cat
>I say ok
>he starts fingering my dead cat's asshole
>I blush and let out a squeaky fart
>he looks at me in disgust and spits on me
>I get full boner now and get a nose bleed
>he throws my dead cat at me, and the cat's bladder explodes against my face
>get covered in dead piss
>friend starts to run away
>I chase him through my back yard and tackle him
>I had a shovel with me, and accidentally hit him with it
>he falls over bleeding from the head
>he shits his pants
>I worry he's dead, so I start jerking him off
>he's ok, just bleeding
>he starts blushing and biting his lip
>he bites his lip off and spits it on me
>I start precumming, and strip
>my dick pops out and I forgot to piss so I piss all over him
>he starts vomiting, but says he's always loved me
>we start fucking
>it's my first time so my asshole prolapses cause I'm super shy
>cat comes alive and starts biting my prolapsed asshole
>it hurts and I start to cry
>start screaming and suck cat into my ass, and my boyfriend loves it
>parents see me and get a shotgun
>we all die covered in piss
>be aliens making shit stains on mars
I wake up from this dream, having pissed, shit, and cummed all over my bed sheets. I start looking up anal vore, and become a huge furry. I met my furry boyfriend at a con, and we piss on each other a lot. It's pretty cool.

>be me, 14
>16 step brother, autism and a whole bunch of other shit
>oh and retard strength
>playing video games in the basement, some kind of racing game
>basically spawn point in plain view, continue to kill him right as he spawns
>*activate tard mode*
>freaks out, yelling at me, throwing controller and shit, picks up chair and throws it at fucking tv (white trash so we played on folding chairs)
>bio dad comes dad, lie and say he randomly died and flipped out
>fucking run as dad and judo step mom calm down hormonal tard strength brother
>gets sent to a hospital for awhile and parents get divorced
>just caused divorce to cover my ass

I have another Mason story. I saved the best for last.

>be me
>in high school once more
>not too long after the events of first story, mason still has bandages
>gotta shit
>make my way to the bathroom
>as im outside the entrance, i hear a familiar giggle
>fuck it's mason
>im about to leave to go to a different bathroom when my curiosity gets the best of me
>wondering what the fuck he's giggling about
>pray to allah for my life as i slowly walk in
>stench instantly hits my nose, holding back vomit
>what the shit is he doing
>go inside
>what the shit indeed
>look at mason, his hands and face are a pale brown
>see wall
>jacksonpollock.dll
>mason's pants are thrown in the sink and there is liquid shit all over the wall and floor
>shit is coming out of his ass like an iv drip
>i vomit in my mouth, but barely hold it back
>mason hears me
>feel like solid snake and that i've just been spotted
>this is what he says, i shit you not
>"reeeeeee"
>but he doesn't screech, he literally just yells "reeeeeee" as loud as he can
>he looks super angry
>im frozen with fear
>he reaches over to his asshole and puts his entire fucking hand inside
>howthefuck.jpg
>literally wrist deep in his own sphincter
>pulls out a handful of bloody shit
>throws it like a professional baseball player
>i barely dodge it as it splatters onto the wall
>sonic the fuck outta there
>find out the teachers found him leaking blood out of his ass, he had to go to the hospital
>he never cut his fingernails and he had ripped apart his intestines from the inside
>nobody ever heard from mason again

RIP lil nigga. Hope you're smearing as much shit as you want on the Pearly Gates.

kek

Top shelf content.

What a savage

kek

lol

This thread gives me life

Capping this shit.

Are you the anal vore guy that showed his whole family?

There we go. I have a problem with making these too small. I can only cross my fingers.

> be me
> getting some food at Walmart a few weeks before Christmas
> full grown unattended female tard in frozen food isle making noises
> tries to back out without being noticed
> tard sees and begins to follow
> getthefuckouttahere.exe
> tard follows me to the self checkout and loudly begins singing the 12 days of Christmas
> turn around and she is dead ass looking at me
> wtf.txt
> continues to sing entire song as I am checking out
> eventually her wrangler comes around and makes her stop
> give that guy a posed off look and walk out

Not the best story but I have a phobia of tards and people who make loud noises for no reason.

>be senior
>tards aren't quarantined
>never have been
>take classes with the rest of us
>had a kid who made firetruck noises
>never heard him speak words
>he'd run through the halls head first with sirens blaring
>everyone got out of his way like an actual firetruck
>otherwise he'd knock you over
>one day an announcement comes on to lock all the doors
>no reason given
>we lock our door
>within seconds we hear firetruck noises
>the fucktruck is coming
>apparently he unleashed his tard brethren and they were rampaging through the school
>we had a tard in out class
>the fucktruck and his crew of tards have come to liberate him
>the guy in our class is just some sort of autist
>not even full tard, just annoying as suprise teeth on your dick
>not necessarily unwelcome, but extremely grating
>tards start pounding on door
>one is screaming his name
>autismo starts crying
>his wrangler is trying to comfort him
>she wants to open the floodgates and engage the unintelligent horde in verbal combat
>we manage to talk her down
>large group of wranglers and cops are coming from the northern lands to protect our stronghold
>we are armed merely with pens and brain power
>neither of which has any effect on tards
>tards manage to break door handle
>I am chosen as sacrifice for this very occasion
>I am the strongest, and I have mild brain damage
>I'm the closest thing we have to a combat tard
>I'm ready for glorious battle
>>I will go to Valhalla with my head held high
>right then reinforcements arrive
>tards tackled everywhere
>joint force of wranglers and cops make quick work of tards
>fucktruck was never released back into general population for the rest of the year
>I luckily have lived to tell the tale
>I don't want to imagine what the previous liberations were like
>many non-tards must have been lost
>or scarred/damaged beyond recognition
>rip my bretheren
>I just hope they have a mug of mead waiting for me on the other side

Is that a school or an asylum?