>be friends with German immigrant woman in college >Move in with each other >begin the fucking >begin the loving >Almost immediately she has to go to a family reunion in Germany >femaon leaves computer behind for user's convenience >Suddenly gmail email notifications pop up for seekingarrangement.com >rage.jpg >salt in the oil tank >clothes in the front yard >mac in the trash >false police reports about stolen merch to cover tracks >realize how badly I've fucked up and incriminated myself >offer to pick her up from the airport >pick her up >mysteriously her car goes to shit >surprised.mkv >offer to drive 6 hours round trip to pick up WP uncle that knows the situation and to help "fix" the car >attempt to fix car >car is fucked >try and resolve for legal fears through relationship reconciliation >femanon leaves phone out >see tinder shit >rage >throw her out of the house >days later >brigns man hating lesbian friend over to collect her things >get locked out of house by lesbian and now exgirlfriend bitch >Kick in the window air unit >crawl through window hole >lesbian friend is out of the house at the moment >lock front door as retaliation > banging and kicking--embarassment >open door >little lesbian pushes user >push back >les pushes back >user pushes back >les: "I'm calling the cops!" >user: "No your're not!" >throws phone to smash >leave scene >return after several days >coast is clear >weeks later receive domestic violence warrant x2 and property destruction warrants >Context: be behavioral therapist >now suffering court ordered batterer's intervention counseling by subordinate peers.
Pic related.
Jayden Hall
What are the credentials of a behavioral therapist?
Gavin Martin
Stop giving shit and stop being pussy, next time something like that happen, kill them, hide body.
Jackson Hill
Bach + working on masters + various certifications
Brody Jones
Jealous people need to be killed. I hope OP gets raped in prison like the little insecure beta faggot he is.
Daniel Smith
>no license >not even masters I think I have a lead on the problem. What certs?
Luis Nelson
"need to be killed"
Say that after you've had a girlfriend, you waifu humping, pillow jizzed faggot.
Also, you're an idiot for not seeing the humor in the story. Get raped.
Joshua Cooper
I didn't say I didn't have a masters, you asked what the requirements were: the requirements are exactly as I said.
Regardless now, BCBA
RBT
and other shit like CPR and stuff.
Jaxon Powell
Ty OP....this made me kek genuinely lel
Juan Myers
Thanks! It was supposed to be funny!
My god.
Cooper Reed
Bad times... Any pictures of her gash?
Luke Thompson
...
Jaxson Nguyen
...
Connor Wilson
Nice! More?
Robert Morales
Better to face the music, user. Tell them it was a crime of passion after you found out she was cheating with the bulldyke. Deny any actual violence apart from the pushing and smashed phone. She broke the phone during the tussel.
Lawyer up if you can afford it.
You'll be fine, bud.
Jason Gutierrez
Sounds like you fucked up and didn't know how to end a relationship without causing issues to yourself.
Michael Edwards
Anger got the best of me-- true. I'm past the legal hump. Have to do my counseling time with people that I know and work with--as their former supervisor.
Anthony Bailey
This is all I got.
Nicholas Perez
...
Brandon Murphy
...
Brayden Reed
...
Isaiah Ross
...
Isaiah Adams
Oh, you precious child. 1. I've had 30 or so of them, some for years, some for days. 2. That was irony, not humor. Get some perspective, desperate little Hollywood-suckled cipher.
Lucas Barnes
Nice. Good work.
Ian Diaz
it was irony-- good call.
I honestly don't get your problem with what I've said. You don't think there's humor in irony?
Tyler Wright
If you want to keep any decency or respect you have left with those people, own up to your mistake. Admit you have an angry issue. There is no shame in that.
As for your previous relationship, start looking elsewhere and cut all ties with her unless there some kind of legal commitment you have to deal with. There are other fish in the sea, mate.
Lincoln Rogers
My friend, I own up to my anger. I went way over the top with property destruction. I went way over board.
I have no contact with her.
I just thought /b would get a kick out of this story.
Also, I appreciate you sage advice.
Brandon Clark
>Trusting German women
Jayden Ward
At least the noods are alright. See what happens when you get jealous and possessive instead of sharing? You lose good stuff.
Irony gets old after a while. Eventually it's just a bunch of crap that stands in your way and can't be cleared out. You'll see.
Gabriel Anderson
No shit. She's the second authentic German woman I've dated. Not again. Never again. They are fucking nuts and without remorse.
Benjamin Nguyen
>Trusting Englischsprachern at all
Parker Johnson
>They are fucking nuts and without remorse. >t.the guy who went violent on her for not being a good little piece of property It's time for you to an hero.
Levi Barnes
Looks kinda muddy to be a German user
>looks like a turk
Leo Wilson
Got any of her sucking you dick?
Chase Kelly
Fucking kill yourself, please
Ethan Long
...
Chase Thomas
>current year >assuming exclusivity
Blake Wright
And here we have the "accidental leaking" of her full name and OP's first name, in a stealth PA request.
Angel Reyes
...
Jaxon Smith
looks like she is better off without you indeed you stupid cunt
Adrian Watson
Ayyy how's that karma police working out for you, "Alan"?
Blake Bell
2015? Really? Extra fuck off bruh.
Noah Fisher
hahaha you fuck.
--It just clicked with me!
Christian Harris
>/u/MelleniumFalcone The face of pre-conventional conservative morality, everyone!
Colton Stewart
it's a fucking story. God damn. Expectations are too high.
Jacob Perry
pre-conventional?
Landon King
>crawl through window hole found the cringing manlet
Jack King
Don't they still teach Kohlberg's theories of moral development, Mr. Behavioral Therapist?
Isaiah Jones
you must live in one of those feminist shithole countries where they can prosecute with no actual evidence. I would have denied anything had happened.
Mason Moore
that's cognitive therapy-- I work specifically with functional behaviors, mostly with autistic kids
Blake Sullivan
You, too. Go back to le_donald with OP and make beautiful faggotry together
Dylan Cook
Deny and then go to trial and get convicted anyway, and then face harsher punishments.
Oliver Taylor
The best thing she could have done is to get away from you, you beta abusive cuck
Christian Peterson
>abusive cuck
Lose your virginity, faggot.
Nicholas Morales
implying I like Donald Trump because I hate feminism and men being treated like shit.
Samuel Wright
>Calling OP beta >Thinks it's OK for your girlfriend to be on literal prostitution sites
Benjamin Baker
You did right user. Make everyone including her family know she is a whore.
Logan Morris
>i'm a child and i lose my temper and break things
Isaac Roberts
You've never experienced conflict.
You can't read.
You're fat.
You're stupid.
And you're a virgin.
Get raped.
Anthony James
needed a laugh today, thanks user
Noah Taylor
At least you fucked this bitch. I hope Fucking her was worth this whole shit.
Michael Watson
> German immigrant women > authentic Alright then.
Camden Campbell
next time I'll get a blood sample and provide DNA evidence, faggot.
Josiah Martinez
Op is a fucking insecure fag!
William Powell
I didn't know you could measure authenticity through DNA.
Chase Thomas
you should be locked up for writing the most poorly written greentext story ever. holy shit kill yourself
Juan Jackson
cuck
Gabriel Bailey
german women are also retarded. the lot of them, as are german men
Hudson Turner
of a country? not really. but it's enough to get the authenticity of her being european
Owen Moore
> authenticity of her being european I don't even can't what?!
> also, moving the goalpost to european
You do realize you're basically saying > This tofu made hot dog is a completely authentic hot dog