Be me

>be me
>love weed
>sober for 5 months for job searching purposes
>no prospects atm
>last one never got back to me and its been over a week
>smoke a one hitter of bud last night after getting drunk
>get a call today
>wants me to come in for an interview on Monday

In the off chance they decide to hire me on the spot, what are the odds I'll be made to drug test right there and what are the odds I'll piss positive?

I've heard you can piss clean after only a few days depending on how much you've smoked, but I'm a bit skeptical.

how skinny are you? My brother was very skinny/low-body fat and smoked a joint with some friends and passed a few days later.

if they want you to take a piss test I would just use the artificial pee kits they sell online. If the piss test isn't court-mandated for some crime, they don't have to (and won't) observe you 'pee' so it's super easy.

they wouldn't make u piss there on the spot. drug tests are part of the onboarding process. you will be back ground screened and given some sort of e-passport to print out and take to nearest doc office to piss (usually within 3 days off accepting the offer). if no lifting is involved most likely no physical so just get some clean piss and make sure it stays warm with one of those handwarmer things

before they ask anything, tell them you have medic marihubanna

Do you also have penis inspection during your job interviews?
how many dick do you have to suck to get employed?
you are a nation of sheeple... This is some american-style humiliation.

>smoke a one hitler of bud
How I read this, for some reason.

Dude, I had an job interview as a military policeman. Day before I was smoking like a retard. But like you, I was sober for a few months. Had to take a piss in a glass. They checked it and I was saved! I was drinking lots of water! 3-4L a day, and you'll be all good buddy

Don't do any sports!

But THC isint water soluble? It binds to fat which is why it usually takes a while to get out of your system.

It worked for me. Trust me I was reading alot about it, I was thinking about canceling this interview, but it really worked.

I'm fairly heavy at the moment, not gigantic fat fucks level of heavy but heavy to the point that will definitely play a factor.

yeah, I feel like I'm being fairly paranoid in terms of them wanting me to piss right then and there. I figure I have at least a week to get it out of my system, which doesn't seem unreasonable from what I'm reading online and considering the small amount I smoked.

I will also tell them I enjoy drinking lots of alcohol and masturbating in my free time. they will respect that.

yes. at least 2.

but you're telling me no one in your country drug tests? it's done here mostly for insurance purposes iirc.

almost smoked 2 hitlers, good thing I didn't.

did you exercise at all?

from what I know, the biggest factor is how much you smoke and how often. I'm reading posts on weed forums from people who claim they've pissed clean after only a few days.

>I'll be made to drug test right there
Not likely unless you're trying to work in a lab that does these tests.
5 year daily smoker here.
I've slayed a half dozen piss tests with a vile of fake urine.
Just make sure you warm it up with your car's heater and that you have 50 mL worth.
Stuff it in your briefs (boxers won't work) and just jeep it between your cheeks till you get inside the bathroom.
And for the love of god, don't throw away the vile there at the lab.

I love imagining how angry people would get if they knew how well I did all my ultra-critical (many lives were literally at stake) duties while being a stoner (though I was never high on the job).

Don't go overboard on water the day of your piss test. If your sample is too diluted, you'll have to retake the test, and possibly have to pay for it. Didn't happen to me, but took one about a month ago.

Yes, I played football. Last time was 3-4 days before the call.

Yes, exactly, I wouldn't drink anything before the interview, but until monday, I would drink alot.

Is this what americans do? they do fucknig drug testS?

Sorry, not fake urine, but clean urine from a non-stoner.

I'm not even sure who I'd get the piss from.

This is all under the presumption that this interview goes well and they want to higher me anyways. I am terrible at interviewing, so I will probably fuck it up and not get hired anyways.

I'll have to spend some time on the treadmill over these next few days.

I don't think it's possible to pull out the fakedick. While I needed to take a piss the instructor looked at me. Sounds weird haha

Can't tell you if it is gonna affect your test but don't work too hard so you don't sweat.

Wait, why wouldn't I want to sweat?

...

seriously, what do you mean don't sweat?

go to a smoke shop, they sell synthetic piss. learn how to do that shit properly because they will test you within a week of the interview if you do well on it. good luck bro