2

Be Australian
turn on radio
> Somebody poisoned the waterhole
well looks like another day without water

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=GvJAKbkbtGg
m.youtube.com/watch?v=QupjsIzRpM8
youtube.com/watch?v=XA241Lg70fg
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

ISmellJews.jpg

Be Australian
prapare to go outside
> There's a snake in my boot
well looks like another day without shoes

youtube.com/watch?v=GvJAKbkbtGg

>implying we're afraid of snakes

I'd fight a snake over an emu any day

Be Canadian
turn on televison
> Forest fire on marijuana farm
well looks like another day without weed

Would you rather fight a shark or a cassowary?

Be Canadian
turn on radio
> PM beats female MP. Parliament in uproar.
well looks like the fire problem will just have to be put off for another time.

Be Canadian
turn on radio
>Justin Trudeau still PM
well looks like another day without pride

>IGetIt.JPEG

How many Muslims are in your city?

>be australian
>Hang corks from my hat

Says the guy with a monkey for a president.

Your best hope for a new president is an oompaloompa

A

BURNING

To the death? Cassowary, I'd have a slight chance at least

but IRL most sharks are pussies and fuck off once they figure out
A.) You're not a seal
B.) You're punching them in the face

so I'd fight the Shark

The fire cannot be stopped, there's a reason why it's called The Beast.

It's burned more than 500,000 hectares, which is about the size of Prince Edward Island.

keeps the flies away mate

>He defends hanging corks from his hat

Is this true

>tfw this has actually happened to me

It works, but then you just have a bunch of annoying corks flying around your face instead of flies.

In Australia i think that would be the least of your concerns

Did you stay inside or walk around barefoot?

Yes, every australian is mandated to own at least two (2) cork hats per household

Roos are chill as long as you keep your distance, they're alright meat but hunting them is boring as

I have 3 per person in my house, swooping season in 3 months so we gotta chug more wine from the bottle so we can make more hats, those fucking maggies take off with your hat like nobody's business.

At least it's not a million degrees during the day now that it's winter, the sun doesn't burn me instantly anymore and I can hang out outside sippin goon with my bogan mates more often

just sew a fishing weight into it somewhere and you'll be good to go if maggies are ur issue, and a good whacking stick is always helpful when they go for ur sangas

g'day mates

any good way to stop the drop bears? personally I av one of these on me head but got a bunch of tooth picks sticking off the top so it dies if it jumps on me.

so fuckin' annoyin jus eating bit of fairy bread with vegemite dip and one of this dropbears jumps on ya head ya know?

QQQQQUUEEEEEENSLANNNNDER!

whats that one beer

you know the one cunts

also do your women like oregon accents? we should trade

fuck sakes mate what are you doing... first of all those picks are way too fuckin small to stop a drop bear any older than a few weeks, and use that Vegemite for what it was meant for cunt that shit is the cheapest drop bear repellant out there

Fosters? XXXX?

The beer that every non Australian is like "omg Australian beer" while the rest of us laugh as you drink camel piss from a bottle

Fosters or VB, and what the fuck does an Oregon áccent sound like

Cricket bats m8

Went bush bashin in me ute with Deano the mad cunt and a drop bear landed on the bonnet, Deano got out and hit the cunt like he was hittin a 6.

Good times

fuck off our brother canada you bastard, autistic, reject, faggot.

we love you but stay in your own country

yeaaahhhh fosters
i figured it was the equivalent of bud light
alright then whats good down there

if a californian managed to kick his raging addiction to cock & shitty street food. thats what. we seriously should trade girls though, itd be life on easy mode

canadian detected

You're not Australian if you don't dip your fairy bread in vegemite

Victoria bitter is the superior beer made from superior ingredients

>Canadians have infected this board

I'm going to bed and if I see this thread archived with 60 percent or more posts being made by Canadians, I will fucking dox the next Canadian I find in CSGO. I am so done with this shit. Goodbye you fucking faggots. I hate you all get a life.

Tooheys and Heineken I suppose, they're what I drink

>mfw eating this tasty bread

canadian detected

You're not Australian if you can't tell when other Australians are trying to screw with foreigners

God damn it you suck Canada. I know you did it on purpose this time, but you suck at even that.

...

Nice try Canada.

Why is Tasmania the best state in the Commonwealth

>aussie can't handle the shitty banter
Oh God, are the shitposting roles reversing?

u joshin me boy

that sounds like it could either be a genuine statement or a perseverant ad campaign & i can never tell with you

alright cool.

thats your grandmas recipe aint it

can you guys talk shit about abbos without the government or cops jumping down your throat

Sup Forums meme magiced us into being better shitposters

The best in the west

Dude, like one person in recorded history has been critically injured by a cassowary, and it was a preteen cunt who antagonized it into a corner and got an unlucky crit shot in the abdomen. Those things are pussies if they have an escape route

Don't you have a fire to put out or something?

>can you guys talk shit about abbos without the government or cops jumping down your throat
no

>ciggys cost $45 plus tax in Australia
TOP KEK

why does the australian flag have a boot kicking the bosnian flag

wasnt there some story about this dude running over one, & then having a cop tell him not to worry about it? is that just some parts of the backwoods, or was it made up

if you put out the fire, it wins

Gonna be playing down at the rsl tonight in my smashmouth cover band

Simpsons

I can't wait for all of Canada to be consumed by God's wrath.

Its actually true I personally know people that have been told it by cops when traveling through the Centre.

sounds like this dude

gob bless :D

damn. how bad are the abbos?

t. califagian

LEAF

Hr elbowed a mp in the title in parliament. Hopefully he gets in shit on monday

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree

Be British
Turn on telly
>colonies all fucked and independent
Well looks like another say without the empire

Merry, Merry King of the bush is he

>Be British
>turn on telly
>didn't pay tv license
>Queen bursts in
>get arrested
>spend 8 months in jail with Ahmed

Laugh kookaburra! laugh kookaburra

Gay your life must be

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree
Eating all the gum drops he can see
Stop, Kookaburra! Stop, Kookaburra!
Leave some there for me

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree
Counting all the monkeys he can see
Stop, Kookaburra! Stop, Kookaburra!
That's not a monkey that's me

...

Kookaburra sits on a rusty nail
Gets a boo-boo in his tail
Cry, Kookaburra! Cry, kookaburra!
Oh how life can be

m.youtube.com/watch?v=QupjsIzRpM8

Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and free;
We've golden soil and wealth for toil;
Our home is girt by sea;
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare;
In history's page, let every stage
Advance Australia Fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair.

Beneath our radiant Southern Cross
We'll toil with hearts and hands;
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands;
For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share;
With courage let us all combine
To Advance Australia Fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair.

Ayy

Some of them lie on the roads at night like fucking lizards, running them over isn't even illegal in some parts of Aus, you just keep driving and the local ranger picks up the corpses.

It's not like we treat them like animals, they just decide to do stupid shit and we're all sick and tired of telling them how to avoid death.

youtube.com/watch?v=XA241Lg70fg

Dont sleep on the road safety commercial

This is highly offensive, if the Aboriginal Australians don't want to take part in the white colonialist life style then they don't have to. The aboriginals believed in true freedom and didn't believe anyone had a claim to the land and white colonialist patriarchal Australian Christians are trying to force them to Change. This is disgusting and shows colonialism is not dead, it's very much alive and what this is is basically slavery and oppression. Please stop

>actually be Australian

>spider web across entrance to back gate
locking my bike out the front tonight

>go camping
fuck, too busy sorting drugs to remember food

>40 degree day
who wants icey poles?

>do a slight wheel spin trying to pull across 3 lanes
car impounded for 30 days

>its friday
fuck yeah cunts

No one knows let alone sings the second verse m8

I imagine two dudes with cork hats and rifles

"Ey cunt, looka at that, shot anodda of dem roos."

And the other one bored and apathic
"Ye whatever mate..."

Why not? I like it, beautiful anthem very proud to have be a part of the commonwealth with you. Now if only New Zealand would get rid of the cucked Maori parts in their anthem