Best school stories? I'll start

Best school stories? I'll start.

>be me
>16, junior year.
>have one classmate who is particularly stupid
>fat haitian kid who you'd think is retarded but actually just likes pissing people off and acting stupid
>one day a German exchange student comes in
>he talks about Germany, the culture, etc.
>he allows people to ask questions
>fucktard raises his hand
>we are all used to retarded questions from him by now
>we were not prepared
"Do the police in Germany uhhhhh.... do they still uh.... wear the um.... the things... you know, the things... around their arm?"
>it hits everyone
>mfw
>the exchange student shakes his head in embarrassment and disapproval
>the teacher pulls fucktard out of the class
>we hear her yelling at him from the hallway

I will never forget that day.

If this thread gets some amount of attention I may post more stories.

Bump

>be me
>8th grade
>this one kid
>never grew up
>call him peter
>peter was not that bad at school
>until french class (i'm canadian)
>talks back to the teacher
>targets specific people for his jokes
>guess who was one of his targets
>my only friends were these 3 nerdy girls
>friends call me gay to this day
>bugs me about them
>moves on from them
>he falls in love
>girl tells him to fuck off
>later
>looks under a girls desk
>does that whistle when you see something hot
>mfw he gets all the girl

>be me
>13yr
>public school
>I was in a group of friends who fight among themselves every day

>someday when they all go to recess i stayed and take their (pic related)
>we have everything sorted by subjects
>i started to mix them up in one (pic related) like a mixing cards pro from cassino
>finally i put a few pages from my shit in the front page

>when they come from recess the first thing the kid does is find my pages
>"hey user why i have your pages? lol"
>wtf men why?
>dunno

>the rest of the kids rellice what happens
>shitstorm.jpg
>no one knows wtf happen but everyone starts blaming
>the classroom turned into a wwe
>all get suspended
>no one knows that it was me


yeah shit ingles i dont care

i dont even know how is this called in your shit language

Bump

Love autistic moments like that. I got a few, one really stuck to my head:
>be me, 18, IT class
>we were doing tests, those who finished could leave or fuck around on the computers
>everyones focused, the room is silent, you could only hear people tapping their keyboards
>this one weird kid finished his test quite early
>still like 25mins remaining of class
>he raises his hand to get teachers attention
>"excuse me, am I allowed to go on the internet?"
>teacher drops a quick yes, obviously cba with all the tests she has to check from other classes
>I mean, we were in 12th grade by then, who tf even asked questions like these?
>anyway, same kid then raises his hand again after a minute
>"but.. but it's kinda like a forum. Where people post their opinions on different subjects. Am I allowed to post there too?"
>awkward silence for a lil bit, everyone is confused af
>you could hear people trying to hold their sides
>I couldn't even laugh at this point from all the autism
>by teacher looks I could see she's even more confused
>doesn't even answer the question, just nods
>finish my test few minutes after, still thinking about the autismo kid
>check his screen as I walk by
>kid has Sup Forums opened, browsing Sup Forums and /o/
>got lost for a second, made me re-think my life
>what am I doing on Sup Forums then? Does that put me on the same level of autism as he is?
>ohwell, had keks walking back home

That's a binder

Alright, OP here. Time for this next story. I might have to divide it into two or more parts.

>be me
>15, freshman year
>in the middle of the year we get a new student
>first day he comes in with a yamaka on
>he comes off as annoying and loud
>note my school specializes in social skills training
>his first impression isn't too good, but I decide not to judge
>try to be his friend, help him improve his behavior
>eventually get tired of his shit
>he's just too loud, self-absorbed, and wants to be black very desperately
>school year ends, I'm happy to get a break from him
>next year starts
>fuck, he's still here
>he gets worse as the year goes on
>begins poorly rapping in the hallways
>thinks he's a rapper, calls himself "Jewpac" because someone else made a joke about it
>he still gets pissed if anyone else makes a jew joke
>one day I am particularly pissed off at him because he's acting like an ass
>I want to yell at him, so I devise a plan to do so.
>I know how to play the system at this school
>get my friend to make a jew joke around him
>he starts whining about it
>it's time
"You're such a fucking hypocrite! You make jew jokes about yourself all the time, and when anyone else does you bitch about it! Fucking dick!"
>teacher hears
"You know, he's right."
>success
>get called to counselor's office
>explain what happened
>get away with it on that account as well
>feelsgoodman.jpg

This was the story of my first victory against the menace that plagued our school for a year and a half. Part 2 coming right up.

my nigga talking about Peter pan?

Cringe isn't really fun to read.

Stop, autist.

Part 2

>the menace, despite constant lecturing, continues to get worse
>he begins hitting on all of the girls, and even a teacher
>he also begins manipulating the autistic children
>there is little I can do at this point
>I feel as though I'll just have to put up with it
>one time he even tried to get an autistic kid to fight the haitian fucktard mentioned in my earlier story because he was threatening him with voodoo
>then one day it happens
>the menace is picking on one of my friends, calling him fat and shit
>another one of my friends is sitting next to him
>5'11, strong build, planning on going into the marines
>he tells the menace to stop picking on my friend
"I'm not afraid of you!"
>you'reafuckingidiot.mp4
"I'm not afraid of you either."
>the menace backs down and walks away
>he runs back and pushes the future marine
>he begins running away
>marine friend launches Operation Burning Yamaka
>charges towards him
>traps his head between his elbows
>starts playing pinball with his head between his elbows.
>I'm jumping up and down giggling like a little girl
>he begins walking away, having defeated the menace
>the idiot attempts to hit him again
>weakly punches him
>marine friend turns around again
>punches his mouth with such force that his braces come off
>throws him into the wall with such force that the lights flicker
>I'm in awe and joy
>I return the the class, hugging my friends in celebration
>as the menace leaves, he has blood running out of his mouth
>one of the autistic kids in dead seriousness asks him
"Hey, are you Dracula?"
>the menace goes super sayin, starts screaming and punching the walls
>head administrator comes out and yells at him to get back inside
>one of the best school days of my life

bump

Bump

I know OP irl and I can attest to Jewpac's wiggertry.
>Nearing the end of 2nd year of Jewpac
>Due to circumstance this is the first day my dad is driving me to the bus stop
>I have told my dad countless stories of this wigger
>"It can't be that bad, user."
>reminds me not to hit him
>Him and he are at the stop
>This kid's dad pulls up in a Ferrari with his kid
>Both have Yamakas. it's obvious they're that kind of Jew
>Both have the same freckled, shit eating grin
>Jewpac looks at my dad's Chevy Tahoe and scoffs
>My dad looks at me and says
"user, you were right all along. I haven't even spoken to this kid yet and I wanna punch him in the fucking face."
>I love my dad so much

What the heck are you even trying to say?

>freshman year of high school
>have this faggot schoolmate that we like to tease
>have hard maths exam, half a class fails because the teacher is retarded
>retake said exam
>school trip after that
>faggot doesn't come, because he knows we're going to mess with him
>math teacher brings corrected exams to the trip
>we call faggot and tell him most of us failed, including him
>fastforward one week, back at school
>faggot comes on monday
>tells us how he got a math tutor after learning he failed the exam, spent 50€ on tutoring
>tell faggot he actually passed the exam
>he doesn't even flip out, just has a retarded look on his face

Ah, great stories, my friends, how about another short one?

>be me
>17, nearing end of junior year
>one of the school tards is patrolling the hallway
>some kids are talking about star wars
>one kid does a Jar Jar Binks inpression
>tard hears it
"NO!"
>tard charges at the kid
>grabs his hair, starts pulling at it
>entire hallway erupts into hyena-like laughter
>teacher has to remove the tard
>mfw it was another kid I strongly disliked that got assaulted by the tard

OP friend again, that makes me remember another school tard story
>School is small
>Entire high school shares one laptop
>the tard fucking loves this laptop, is always getting in trouble for using it when he's not supposed to
>One day he gets called up to front office during lunch, leaves laptop behind
>ask teacher if I can play minesweeper
>says go head
>after like 10 mins he comes back
>sees me on PC
>looks like image
>charges at me
>tries to hit me but instead slams his fist into the laptop with such force it closes with a slam
>open it back up once he gets dragged out
>screen is black in the corner
>nothing bad but the staff is fucking livid
>He is forbidden from ever going near the laptop again
>He is fucking depressed

bump

>Be tard
>suck own wee wee
>die
>school laughs
>become Tardruich, devourer of dicks
>eat whole school's dicks
>mfw

This thread is full of retards and people that speak English as a 5th language.

Shut fuck

Shut fuck

fuck shut

>6th grade
>chillin with fat friend
>out of no where this bitch threw an eraser at him
>hits him in the eye
>nerd rage
>fucking jumps up and bolts over to her like a rhino
>begins choking her
>what's his endgame?
>was he gonna kill her?
>he finally quits and says he just blacked out and lost it
>he didn't even get detention

another time this guy had to shit during a test and couldn't hold it any more so he got out from the chair and share on the floor and took off running

bump

You shut fuck..or I you die.

your struggles to speak english have me kekking hard

you are going to have a sad life if that is your definition of victory

A small victory is still a victory.

My phone hasn't learned the word shat* yet

Please tell me this kid's name was Remy

this thread gave me cancer

your entire fucking school shares one fucking laptop?! how does that work, like does it stay in one class orrrrr

this thread is fucking aids

No, it wasn't.

The entire high school was two classroom, and it was in a strip mall. We had a computer lab, but after a year or two of ROBLOX and shitty Dragonball sprite games from the grade schoolers they shat themselves.

They allow kids to use the laptop when they deem it necessary.

bump

one of the reasons why i'm going to burn in hell
>middle school, average amount of kids in special education
>one girl with downs syndrome
>absolutely goes ape shit when coins roll across the floor
>even if they just fall to the ground she goes running
>friend and I come to school with pockets of change
>roll them down the hallways when we see her around
>she goes running people down with pure tard strength chasing after pennies and dimes
>this becomes a daily routine
>people end up complaining so much principal catches on, threatens people with expulsion for deliberately rolling fucking coins down a hall

No one knows what the fuck you're talking about bro

>Be in early HS
>Be fucking some MS black chick in the locker room
>Get caught plowing her from behind in the shower
>She gets kicked out of school
>They suspend me for a day or two because I'm on a sports team

She had tasty tits

did she have chocolate milk in her tits?

What the fuck am i reading?

This is a five-paragraph essay that Jewpac wrote. At least, that's what it's supposed to be.

Part 2

Thank you, I was too lazy to post this myself.

No but there's nothing quite like stark white cum on a pretty darkie's developing tits.

Good thing we were caught though, I was bareback and was gonna pump her cunt full. Stupid kids.

Principal secret saved you from niggertry

bump

>Be me
>Be in 7th grade at Catholic school
>my class is full of absolute assholes
>old history teacher about 65 with >hump back
>everyone that has been taught by >this guy talked about how he was >the best teacher they ever had.
>he was very strange and my group >of friends were convinced he was a >pedophile and wanted to fuck a kid >from our circle of friends.
>no one listens to this guy
>purposely start rumours that this >guy is "touching" our friend, friend >thinks it's funny and plays along
>school and diocese does an >investigation on the claims
>school finally realizes there isn't >much hard evidence this guy did >anything
>teacher actually stopped class one >day and went on a 2 hour lecture, >crying about how we are the worst >class he's ever had in his 50 year >career, and that he didn't do >anything to deserve how he was >being treated
>basically begged us to please stop >talking bad about him and accusing >him of things he didn't do
>teacher basically lets us do what >we want for the next two years

He died recently at about 86 years old and still taught until about 80. I still feel bad about what we did occasionally , but am amazed a group of about 12, 12/13 year old boys and girls successfully blackmailed a teacher to get out of class for 2 years and pretty much ran a very wealthy school

>What>The>fuck>is>this>format

You're retarded.

You're terrible at green texting. Fucking die.

My HS had a teacher who had all the chicks in his class pose for pics for him, locked one in the closet once, and in general acted like a fidgety creep.

He was also an esteemed missionary but I don't know wtf that has to do with anything.

bump

in 8 grade me and a group of guys were groping a girl in front of our teacher. she complained to the teacher to get help. but the teacher told her to stop complaining and be happy. she liked it secretly

Fucked an elementary girl in my car once in HS.

Don't feel bad about it, she was a slutty thing.

Hope her dad didn't touch her or something.

This is becoming a sex with little girls thread

Everyone here is a dirty Jew

>Be in "study hall"
>Really "Goof off in the computer room" period
>My customary position is shared by a retard nignog football star in the period before mine
Everybody in my school had a user account, I should mention
>One day walk in and find nignog didn't log out on his account
>Plant faggy searches on his chrome history
>"HonkinBigDicks.com"
>"MassiveSchlongs.org"
>"FreakyFags.net"

Nothing happened

Tbf most people in HS and below would be underage themselves

this is the fakest and most unrealistic shit i've ever read. you're trying too hard. consider this criticism.

Tee Hee it's funny because he said nig nog lol

Moderator here. You are OP.

I shit you not, this all happened. Yes, I did neglect to mention that the reason the lights flickered when he was thrown into the wall (not actually tossed) he hit the light switch. My school was crazy, and this is the shit that happened.

Moderator here. You are OP.

SHUT FUCK

>on discord with my friend
>sent him the link to the story
>he's the one who posted it
>kek

samefag

You are all the same poster.

prove it
otherwise obvious bait is obvious

chuckled a bit. I'll read some more.

>Sophomore cross country runner in high school
>Really bad chronic constipation
>Mom buys me a big ass bottle of prune juice
>My suffering will be over soon desu
>Fill a large glass to the brim with prune juice
>Looks and tastes like shit, pic related
>Force myself to drink the whole glass, badass right?
>Waiting to shit...
>Pass the time by browzing interwebz
>30 minutes later...
>Wtf, these prunes ain't shit
>Drink another glass of prune juice
>And then one more for good measure
>"Okay mom, I'm going for a run, see ya"
>"Running will get the digestive system going", thinks user
>Start running my 3 mile route
>Easy run for someone /fit/ like user
>Quarter mile into the run
>Something don't feel too good, monkaS
>Half a mile into the run
>I got to shit nigga
>Fuck it, I'm heading back
>It gets much worse
>Clenching my asshole as hard as I can
>Feels like my stomach is gonna explode
>Trying to decide whether to shit my pants, or shit in some random dude's front lawn
>"I'll tuff it out", says user
>Still running back home
>The pressure is too much
>Short bursts of hot, toxic air manage to escape my tight asshole, producing farts as loud as thunderclaps
>Probably a quarter mile away from home
>Up ahead I see Stacy from school, leaving her house with her friend
>user has a huge crush on Stacy
>Shit, shit, what to do?
>I try to run past them and hope they don't notice me
>"O-Oh hi user!" says Stacy
>I try to respond back
>"H-Hi Sta" - *huge fucking fart*
>Stacy and her friend start laughing their asses off
>I want to die so fucking bad
>Continue running home
>Made it home without completely shitting my pants by some miracle
>Completely destroyed the toilet, and then had to shit liquids every 30 minutes for the rest of the day.

Never drinking prune juice ever again.

>be me
>be 14 or so
>be a virgin
>freshman year in high school
>go to the bathroom during class
>find a kid in a hoodie giving another one a bag full of weed
>they both look at me
>shit
>walk by to the urinal like nothing happened
>behind me I hear a bag opening
>go to wash my hands
>in the mirror I see one of them looking in the bag
>"this shit ain't weed." he says
>"what?" the dealer asks
>"this ain't weed. It's oregano."
>they keep arguing over it
>soon, they start yelling, and one of them punches the other
>mortalkombat.gif
>mfw I just watched two kids argue and then fight over a bag of fucking oregano
>to be continued

Well no wonder they were so wealthy they saved millions by cutting syntax out of your curriculum

Fucked our chemistry teacher in the bathroom one day. Never learned a thing in her class though, she was a shit teacher.

The fact that this post has the same IP as the following post:

Is proof.

>Yamaka
It's spelled Yarmulke.
Fucking spell check.

>be a virgin

This has nothing to do with the story

Oh, it will soon.

How?

>mine are marked with "(You)"
>get cucked

>two months later
>in the bathroom during class again
>see two guys in the corner
>both naked
>looked like one was about to doggie style the other
>we make eye contact
>freeze.jpg
>quickly go into the stall like nothing happened
>taking a shit
>hearing fucking sounds outside of the stall
>climax.mp4
>boner.gif
>shit.jpg
>stay in the stall for 15 minutes trying to jack off and get rid of the boner
>walk out
>the two gays are still there, still undressed and staring at me
>mfw they must've heard me jacking
>walk out
>to be continued

It only gets gayer from here, folks.

jacking off in the bathroom some other people came in realized what I was doing were saying shit I waited silent till they left then kept jacking till I came only way to fend off getting a boner every 30 seconds in class

sounds like Timo

...

>You shut fuck..or I you die.
Shutting fuck.

>saved file as jpg
>leaving evidence that mspaint was used to eyedrop the post background colour and erase the other (You)'s
>naming file counter-evidence.jpg

get cucked

This is the worst fiction thread ive ever been in

are u ok? i think you might have symptoms of a mild stroke.

>Used snipping tool

Oooooowwwwwwh shiet GET REKT

>sophomore year
>going to that same bathroom again (no bathrooms in the sophomore wing)
>see some ginger kid with his pants down shitting in the sink
>looks at me
>recognize him as the guy running from the tard wranglers a couple of months earlier
>"care to join?" he asks
>step out of the bathroom
>the tard pulls his pants up and follows me down the hall, saying random shit as we go
>I'm about to step back into my class when he says "let's go there again, best friend!"
>he walks away
>mfw
>to be continued

OOOOOOOOOOOoOH

ShareX

>get double cucked fucking sperg pretending to have friends on Sup Forums that were there for his bullshit stories that never happened

Picked her up and fucked her against the wall. She sucked my cum to finish and I left first to make sure the halls were clear.

Bitch gave me a B on my test though.

>captcha: expert union

Nobody fucking cares right now some real shit's going on.

Fucking shit phone, fucked me up

Centered text.
Many misspellings.
Clearly written by a tard.
I would have given this "essay" a fucking failing grade.