Be Colombian

>be Colombian
>score own goal
>get shot

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=PHzixowbbYU
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_involving_Germany
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>be Colombian
>score lots of coke
>get shot

>be terrible irrelevant shitheap
>only thing to do is drink and watch soccer
I guess i'd be pretty pissed too

The Two Escobars was a great 30 for 30

youtube.com/watch?v=PHzixowbbYU

>be German
>get raped

>be canadian
>actively ask for the entire 3rd world to come to your country and send planes for them

>be German
>lose wars

>be colombian
>rape and kill hundreds of children
>still get to be alive

>be german
>get swarmed by the third world on foot
>no one feels bad for you since you started two world wars, one of which was the most deadly in human history, started by a jewish one balled failed artist

>be canadian
>be irrelevant
>be the underachieving beta cousin of America and forever in its cold shadow

>be German
>don't reproduce

>be canadian
>thanks

>be canadian
>only your growing non-white population is reproducing
>wanting to become a racial melting pot like big daddy America so badly

>be German
>don't.

>be canadian
>have LITERAL sharia law
>get beheaded because Sup Forums is haram

>be German
>eat shit

you take that back or i will forget myself

Pablo would never have allowed it on his watch. Too bad he died before the WC started.

Higuita getting himself banned for 1994 didn't help matters either.

>be Canadian
>everyone thinks you're American
>get shot

>be Colombian
>Your last name is Escobar

I'm sorry. Things got out of hand. Love you Germany.

i was already literally shaking but i accept. you're good, too.

>be Portuguese
>draw your way into the finals
>win EURO

>be english
>score own goal
>remains alive

own goalers are traitors and should be hanged from lamp posts not shot

>women

>thug behram
>thug

how fitting

Why do you think the term "thug" exists in the English language?

His cult was named "Thuggees" after him and the British, who were in charge of India at the time, adopted the word.

>Thug Behram or Buhram (ca. 1765–1840), also known as Buhram Jemedar and the 'King of the Thugs', was a leader of the Thuggee cult active in Oudh in northern central India during the late 18th and early 19th century, and is cited as one of the most prolific serial killers in world history.
>The thugs were covert members of the group, and the term 'Thugee' typically referred to the act of deceitful and organised robbery and murder.

If Rooney was Colombian, he'll be dead already

>1853 years

that's impossible under our laws, no death penalty or life sentence. He is going to be back on the streets in a few years

>Luis Alfredo Garavito Cubillos (born 25 January 1957), also known as La Bestia ("The Beast") or Tribilín (named after Disney character "Goofy"'s Latin American Spanish name) is a Colombian rapist and serial killer.
>In 1999, he admitted to the rape, torture and murder of 147 young boys. His victims, based on the locations of skeletons listed on maps that Garavito drew in prison, could eventually exceed 300. He has been described as one of "the world's worst serial killers".
>Garavito was arrested on 22 April 1999. He was found guilty on 138 of the 172 accounts; the others are ongoing.
>Although the maximum sentence for murder in Colombia multiplied by 138 comes to 1,853 years and 9 days, Colombian law limits imprisonment to 60 years. Because he helped police find some bodies, as well as to his confessions, his sentence was further reduced to 22 years.
>He may possibly qualify for even earlier release for further cooperation and good behavior.

wew, you weren't kidding

>kill over 100 young boys
>help police find their bodies
>"wow such good behavior, what a good boy, let him go free"

wtf is wrong with your laws, cocabro

same shit here, Bruno Fernandes de Souza ordered the mother of his child to be killed and fed to the dogs, he's free 6 years later, 1/3 of his 22 year sentence. Then they ask why our murder rate is close to 30 per 100k per year.

Latin American people are absolutely cucked.

Empathy towards narcos and assasins, the whole system is already solve for the evil.
No matter how much you kill or steal, never is too far.

won more than we lost
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_involving_Germany

>having empathy for locombian governments

Shit he was a pretty good goalie.

>tfw no Macarrão best friend

>be german
>insult canadia for following your lead

>two women
That's interesting. I find criminal women very attractive.

that italian bitch was basically a medieval version of a feminist

Good taste

>Sentenced to 1853 years of prison
Where did they get that number from?
That's the sum of the age of all the kids he killed?

>modus operandi

>be colombian
>have shitty boat with wings
>kill 71 footy players leaving only 6 vegetables
>gift title to victims team
>sweep murderous incident under rug
>third world living

Men BTFO by female serial killers

>White knighting a literal man killer

poisoning is the most beta and therefore feminine way of killing someone though

The best one 2bh

> Colombian law limits imprisonment to 60 years

Even fucking Colombia has moore max prison time than us. It's literally impossible to go past 30 here.

Garavito is probably the most despised person in Colombian history, surely he has seen hell in prison

DELET THIS

hitler wasn't jewish and it was only a rumor that he lacked a testicle.

the rumor came from him taking shrapnel to the groin area during the first world war.

the more you know.

how do you know so much about hitlers dick?

you've been watching too much game of thrones pal

his war injuries are common knowledge to most people who have even a cursory idea of the history of the world wars. he was also hospitalized due to a gas attack right before germany's surrender.

just because you're stupid doesn't mean the rest of the world is.

well, i did watch all seasons so far, but IIRC only that blonde sadistic king got poisoned in the series so far and it was done by le dr. pavel I'm CIA man

don't really get your comment 2bh

in the show, almost everybody says that poisoning is a woman's way of murder, and you said that as well. i was making a joke, apparently it flew right over your head.

and blonde king got poisoned by littledick and that old lady i think.

oh, must've missed that, can't remember anyone ever saying that
but they're right, it was historically always the weapon of choice for women

littlefinger = Dr. Pavel i'm CIA man aka Mayor of Baltimore

30 is the limit in here, and only a few people get that kind of sentence, mostly serial rapists and femicides

ANDRES ESCOBAR
PAISA HIJUEPUTA
NO EXISTE MAS

why would a government do that

>get

>be A FUCKING LEAF
>take our shitposting crown

I know he wasn't jewish, but the missing testicle thing is real, isn't it?

>be german
>go to buy a big sausage
>get crushed by truck

>be japanese
>want electricity
>get radioactive