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I'm so done begging my wife for sex. It's been almost two years since we were married, and I can almost count on both hands how many times we've had sex in that time. I don't want to leave her, but I definitely need to get out my sexual energy and beating off in the shower isn't cutting it.
Anyone ever cheated on their SO? Any advice?
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You're disgusting and should die.
yeah either communicate with her about how you're feeling, or end it dude
Have you actually talked to her about your desires? Or have you just asked for sex?
M'gentleman *tips fedora*
>Hur dur anyone opposed to cheating is a white knight
stop being a fag
talk to her and figure out why, on both sides of the argument.
We've talked about it many times. I tell her how I feel undesireable because she seems to be 0% attracted to me. I tell her I feel neglected. She doesn't care, and just tries to make me feel bad for having perfectly natural feelings of physical attraction for the person I'm married to. She'll only agree to have sex if I promise to do some sort of shitty chore afterwards.
>Hur dur anyone opposed to cheating is a fag
Then get divorced dumbass
She loves u op she wants u to take care of urself and love urself and help urself and her and be a role model and lead as an example be nice be honest forgive urself help urself op.......
you need couples counseling and your wife has some serious intimacy issues
Start fucking traps. When she finds out she will be too embarrassed to divorce you and will become a cuck.
Tell her if she doesn't wanna have sex that one night you're gonna drug her. Cut her clit and pussy lips off and then stitch them together.
I still love her, I just feel incredible frustrated about it. She hasn't initiated sex EVER in the past two years. She tries to guilt me on the rare occasion I want to have sex or talk about this part of our relationship.
Then get sexy and stop being a flabby bitch. Murder a few people I dunno
I'll see what she thinks about the suggestion, if she says no then fuck it
10/10 suggestions
I'm in great shape. At the gym 5 days a week and eating 10 km runs for breakfast
Not a healthy relationship here, bro. Tell her it's become so much of a problem for you that you want to go to counseling. If she refuses, tell her it's that or a divorce. If you don't have kids I cut my losses on this one. If she won't even meet you halfway now, this will get worse and worse every year.
> Being this retarded
How could you marry someone who has such a drastically different sex drive than you if it's this much of a problem for you?
One kid now, just under a year old. I thought it was just her pregnancy at first, but here we are. Our kid is great and sleeps through the night, and I get up with him early so she can get an extra hour sleep every morning. So it's sure as fuck not that she's tired.
In all the years up to our wedding we were doing it usually once a day
Did she want a kid, user?
Get a piece on the side. Let the feelings of guilt or whatever just slide in the ether.
I couldn't be bothered with a bit on the side in the end and just made a clean break of it. Me and the ex are still on good terms and I've got a new lass in my life.
All depends on how bad shit is.
Yes, we both did. And we want more. Good thing we never have sex so if we split there's no chance of fucking up any more kids.
Solid advice user. But maybe I think it's good advice because this is what I want to hear
You should consider couples counseling or doing more things around the house or surprises. The latter two usually make the panties drop.
> It's been almost two years since we were married
End it.
Trust me, I've done a fair share of surprises. There's appreciation there, but no action.
I don't know if this is what I want. I'm definitely not making any more kids until then. Not that we have sex enough to even make another child
>this is what happens when you marry at an early age, kids
dude, same with my long term girlfriend. I am very reluctant to marry her based on this.
Exact same thing. I feel undesirable to her (even though I know I am desirable as there are other girls that hint this to me) and she constantly says "I do want you." and I say "then why do you turn me down any time I try to be romantic with you?" and I get some convoluted answer.
I'm not gonna marry a girl that doesn't want me sexually, so I feel your pain already being married. Godspeed user.
m'edgelord
Get her off of BC right now.
BC FUCKING KILLS her sex drive. Just murders it.
not OP, but this is something that i've experienced more than once with girls. however, i've been the one that makes my girlfriend feel undesirable. i've thought about it and i think it's due to the fact that you and your partner most likely won't have the same sexual drive or urges 100% of the time. saying "not right now" to your partner's sexual advances is easily interpreted as hurtful. even though you might think it's a one-time occurrence, the fact that it even occurred once can prompt your partner to have feelings of being undesirable, which is what you are feeling, OP (and person i quoted).
from the POV of the person rejecting: i had only the best intentions when rejecting my partner's sexual advances. despite this, i felt guilty when doing it because i knew that it hurt them. they were unable to communicate with me effectively in future instances, and i was put into a position of "sexual power" (meaning that I was the one that had the final say in whether or not we had sex most of the time). i didn't meant to put myself in that position, but it happened anyway. i continued to feel guilty whenever sex would come up and i didn't feel like having it, and my partner didn't make me feel like it was okay for me to say no. resentful feelings built up in both of us, and that just complicated the issue.
this might be what's happened in your relationship, OP. you're on the right track with seeking some sort of relationship counseling; i do think that effective communication is able to fix your problem.
or, you know, you could just dump this immature bitch
I have had many affairs. I love my wife very very much. She's a great woman. I've never mentally cheated on her, always just strictly physical.
Get some action on the side. Pro tip. Find married woman that also want something on the side
How long have you been together total?
If it's been four years or more, it's over. She's no longer interested, and not because of anything you have or haven't done, but because of the nature of women.
Biology has wired women to want a different man after about four years of exclusivity. Even if they say they're completely happy with their man. Even if their man is attractive, good in bed, makes a pile of cash, or whatever.
It's nothing to do with you. Apparently it's monogamy itself that causes this. Women who aren't in monogamous relationships don't experience this, and researchers either don't know why, or don't want to admit they do for whatever reason.
True
Follow your instincts user, if you know somethings up don't get tied down.
I cheat emotionally all the time. I love having girls fawn over me.
>thinking that women will differentiate between cheating mentally and cheating physically
>implying you would want to be cheated on physically
nigger what are you doing?
>pro tip: find a woman that's okay with your sexual urges and whose sexual urges you are okay with
It's been 6 years together, married for 2. That's funny, her sex drive nosedived after 4 years exactly.
Then you know what you must do.
This will not get better, and you need to know that.
>Begging
Dude, she's your wife. She's your property, you can do what you want with her.
Thanks user, I think I needed to be told this tbh
don't listen to this guy yet.
if you have kids and if you think it's worth at least another shot, talk about marriage/relationship counseling first. if she is opposed to it or EXTREMELY reluctant, then this is obviously the only course of action
>counseling
Go right ahead, but only if spending money and time to accomplish absolutely nothing is something that sounds attractive to you.
It does not help people who do not want to change; nothing can.
And if OP really has been as honest as he say he has here, all counseling will do is tell him things he already knows right now.
In OP's case, it should only be resorted to if a court orders it before filing for divorce.
Quoted user here: I have tried to give her plenty of sexual space, mentally say "Okay, I'll stop pushing it and let her decide when she's ready, let her get comfortable, etc" She takes this as a "oh good he's not horny any more, no need for sex" and just never makes a move. I've tried everything in the book. Being romantic, being sexy (maintaining my body, etc), being flirty, gifts, compliments, tried laying off and giving her space, tried suggesting we do new things in new places, EVERYTHING. She just doesn't bite and she makes no indications that she even "appreciates everything, but it's just not the right time." I communicate so fucking much its unreal, she just doesn't give a shit.
fuck her sister or mom. 60% of the time it works every time
Exactly
Both are hot as fuck, I wouldn't mind
Then do it pussy. Take pictures and have them served to her with the divorce papers.
great way to lose half or more
2 years is not enough time to really get anything.
beat off in front of her, if she wants some she'll join in. And nigga why are you beating off in the shower, what are a teenager trying to hide it?
she wants you to fuck her even when she says no, she knows if you don't, you aren't a real man, and deep in her genetics, she wants a real man and will exhibit behaviors that will test you to see if you are strong enough to be the father of her offspring.
This.
All she can claim is the shit you have acquired since the marriage, and child support for the kid.
Any assets you had at the start of the marriage are still yours.
This is actually the best answer.
She wants you take take it from her, user. Show her you're not just in the mood and want to have sex.
Show her she makes your blood boil and you want it from her specifically.
It's hard to get in that zone when she treats you like shit, but try and use that anger in your thrusts.
Dick will change her mind, if applied with the proper attitude and intent.
This is now a rape justification thread.
And I support it.
Forgot to mention, I've tried that too. That's definitely a no-go. Don't tell me she wants to be raped, cause that is not the correct answer in the real world.
And that kind of thinking is why your marriage is about to fail.
I'm not the married one, dumbass. Grow up and get off the internet.
I'm 37 and married, but I refuse to grow up and get off the internet.
Yup. OP your wife isn't into women so stop being such a pussy, its turning her off. Did you really not notice that her interest flagged as soon as you started pussing out with giving her space and shit?
Serious fag here.
One of two possibilities:
A. She's cheating on you
B. She was raised in a home with shitty views on sex. Sex for chores is prostitution.
I would recommend counseling with an LMFT if you still love her and want to be with her.
If not, time to give her the D...
Divorce that is.
Female detected. This bullshit advice sounds like it came from a self help book for men, written by a woman. This shit does not work, ever. She'll just start expecting more and more from you while giving you less and less. Be a man. I was in the same situation and after 3 tries in 4 years I found a side piece and threw my ex out. 7 years later and my life is awesome.
me again.
if you've tried everything in the book (and it sounds like you have-- you seem to have been very understanding about everything), then it might not be worth pursuing any further. like some other user said: you can't change the unwilling. chances are she's unhappy with some part of the relationship. try talking to her about it. if she's hostile/shuts down/isn't willing to communicate, then dump that bitch. no use trying to work with someone that isn't willing to work with you.
unless, of course, you're just in it for the pussy. and if that's the case, just cheat on her or tell her you want to be fwb
I hear ya. My girlfriend has stopped giving head, stopped swallowing, stopped taking my loads to the face, and will barely give me a handjob now and then. It's usually straight to the point, does it fast as possible, and that's it.
This is while she's planning our vacations and wedding. The demands grow while what I want decreases dramatically and I've fucking had it.
Got a girl at work who has wanted my cock for months now, decent bar scene in my area, and I've always wanted to try an escort. Fuck this shit, OP. Relationships are a two way street. If you're not getting what you need it's time to get it somewhere else. You're a fucking human being with needs
therationalmale.com
You need to read Year One for starters.
If she won't take care of your needs and expects you to take care of her needs, even if it's not sexual, is wrong. Relationships have two sides, and one must take care of the other fully for it to work. Not giving head is one thing, but shutting you down for asking your fucking wife to have sex with you? That's wrong.
There's also the possibility of her needs being satisfied by someone you don't know about, which is why she has no sexual energy. She might be cheating on you, and may have been cheating for a while. It sounds to me that it might be time to either divorce or seek marriage counseling.
You're not in the wrong user, she is. Remember that.
she sounds like a bitch
The opposite is true.
You and all of your property belongs to her.
You can't try that, you have to do it. you have to show her you run shit. she should be scared of you, and turned on. And it's not rape when it's your wife. There's like only one single person who ever was convicted for that.
honestly. alienation of affection is a divorce worthy reason. legally. tell her how you feel. make sure YOU file first. then tell her its over.you deserve better op.
OP, start doing the same shit to her, but with what she wants out of the relationship.
For example, if she likes your attention, start ignoring her. Then make her feel guilty for wanting attention. Make your responses to ignoring her desires mirror closely to how she ignores yours.
Make her fuck for your attention.
You already fucked up by marrying, but now that she's not putting out the countdown timer has officially started ticking down to the divorce. Just go all out and get a prostitute, bang her in your guys' bed, and make sure your wife catches the two of you. The divorce is already incoming and you're gonna lose your shit to her in court anyway, might as well let her know she failed so completely as a woman that you had to go buy another one to take care of shit for you.
The bitch is cheating on you two years and no sex what a fucking cuck