So has anyone ever been to a massage parlor that does "happy endings"...

So has anyone ever been to a massage parlor that does "happy endings"? If so what are some tell-tale signs that the place offers that or just what was your experience like in general?

Go on, i don't visit such places, they visit me

i got a massage in a hilton hotel in thai land.. a few mins in the girl tapped my shoulder and did the jerk off motion with one of her hands.. i dismissed it because i had a girlfriend at the time.. and because its thailand, it could have been a trap. just a story cant help you mate

I have.

No tell-tale signs whatsoever, looks like every other massage parlor, unless you talk about the real bad ones.. they will sometimes advertise it.

Just carefully ask a general question about happy endings, like you've heard about massage parlors doing that and what they think of that.

If they get a little defensive and talk about how professional their parlor is just go with something along the lines of how strange that is.

Sometimes however they will hint at willingness to give happy endings. Usually it's a handjob, but I've heard about blowjobs and actual intercourse.

I only received handjobs though. It's a bit strange at first but if they're willing to do it, sure.

Interesting, I looked up some on the internet and thought maybe I could find a hint of something in the reviews but so far nothing has come up

Looked it up on back page, they said only young 20 somethings, but the lady was about 30 and kept sniffing like she had just done a bump. The tell was she called me baby right away and was terrible at the massage. The giveaway after that was when she offered a happy ending

How sketchy is backpage

very. I've been to condemned crackhouses that were more reputable than 90% of backpage. the joys of being a repo man.

You fucking idiot!

been in one, in bangkok

wasnt good at all

Sounds like my kind of party

Yup went there this morning, fucked this piece

those days sucked. I hated that job, and oddly enough it wasnt from the crazy shit people did to keep their cars, it was dealing with the fucking insurance companies to get paid, the cops, and the bosses wife, pudgyfuck porky princess daughter and son that thought the employees were their serfs.

Wow fucking lie. If any it was a fat dude.

I drove a roll back flat bed

Does pudgyfuck porky princess give happy endings

If they advertise on Backpage and they offer a Table Shower, you're good to go.

An hour session should cost you $60-70. They'll expect a tip of $40, but they'll ask for more. Be nice and respectful and they'll treat you well, but remember they are sex workers, not your friends.

There's no secret code. When you go in, a woman will ask you if you want a massage. Say "Yes" and "1 hour". When she asks if you want a Table Shower, say "Yes". She will probably speak very broken English.

The biggest risk of these places is probably contracting athletes foot from the table shower itself. Shower at home before and after you go, and don't shave the day you go, (to avoid folliculitus) and you should be fine.

The fantasy sounds hot, but it's probably not actually worth the money. Personal preference I guess. Fat chicks on POF are cheaper and more fun.

I assume you're in america.

1st, do a little research. If they appear on rubmaps.com and backpage they are almost certainly a brothel and not a legit massage place.


2nd, what is the masseuse wearing? If its a tshirt and frumpy jeans you are not getting off. If its a bikini or a tight dress, you're in.


3rd, get the table shower and when she touches your butt or the interior thigh, let out a bit of a moan.

I had a full body massage on the phi phi islands in Thailand. The girl kept going from my neck and gently tickle my balls. Possibly to see my reaction. After about 45mins, she told me to turn around and could see my massive erection, and asked me if I wanted "sucky sucky". I said no, mainly because my gf at the time was shopping in the markets down the street. But then she put her hand on my dick and said for an extra few Thai baht she will give me a hand job. I complied. Lasted 17 seconds. Great handjob. She threw a piece of paper towel on me to clean myself up. I put my clothes back on, ran back to my hotel, had a shower and Sat by the bar like nothing happened when my gf got back... Yolo.

Best tell tell signs to look out for are any Asian massage/spa place with the windows covered up with like posters and random shit. 9/10 times if the massage sucks it's because they're gonna try to jerk you off. It's usually an Asian lady in her 40s. They rarely ask for permission they just sort of brush against your dick on accident and if you get hard they'll know you're game. Just because it doesn't happen after a massage doesn't mean give up. They're all cool people so pull some cash out and ask, you're not gonna get the cops called unless you're at a spa where white people work. Don't be stingy with tips and you'll always have a good time.

I have, MANY times.

If "Asian Massage," means happy ending is imminent.

This is how it works where I live (NYS):

You pay up front for massage.
You get naked and lay on the table.
They issue a real massage.
~Here's when it gets real~
After they wipe your back and legs down with hot towel and sensually start touching your ass region. If you react positively, they know you're there for a happy ending. After a few minutes of that, they tell you to turn over.

They may at this point ask you in a demure way if you want the..? They usually point at my junk and say something like "OK?" Or they might even touch it and ask if it's ok.

One massage parlor I was at, the woman wanted me to get myself hard first which I guess would guarantee I'm not a cop.

One Asian Massage place I was at once gave me an actual real massage and nothing more. I suspect she thought I was a cop.

One thing I notice in all the massage parlors is they ask if you've been there before. I suspect if you say you haven't been there before, they give you the best massage girl there to make sure you come back. If you say you have been there before, I suspect they give you whoever the fuck is available.

you know the deal then.

she was the fat ugly girl that no one had the heart to tell her, that she was a fat sloppy hideous creature. like a kid with cancer, no one says "you gonna die nigga" to them.

i know she never wiped her ass properly because she would use the employee toilet, and smear some kind of butt funk/swass/shit on the seat and never try to even clean it up.

she also thought she could tell people to do things for her benefit because " MY DADDY OWNS THIS BUSINESS AND YOU BETTER DO WHAT I TELL YOU OR YOU'RE GONNA GET FIRED!!! DAAAAAADDDDDYYYY!!!!"

stank, slop, and ass is how i remember her. the son was a fucking piece of shit fatboy with an S-10 that had a supercharged LS engine with racing slicks and stock gear ratios, and a STI he wrecked in 3 days because "its an unherntree unstable car"

They advertise on Backpage.
They offer table showers

Rub maps tells you which places will give you extra but they're all massage/spas

Doesn't matter what they're wearing. Most of the time it's casual attire nothing sexy

Last part is true table showers are good

in the us you want to look for asian massage parlors
generally you want a place with covered windows and a entrance that just has a window in it
you go to the window ring the buzzer, the mamasan comes and asks how long you want. i always go for the hour and make sure to ask for the table shower
usually you will spend about 200 with door fee plus tip for full service. handy alone is usually 40 or 50 + door but i always get full service since i like fucking asian pussy

If you're in UK try Gumtree, search local massage, if it says in ad 'this is not a sexual service as per Gumtree rules' they're pretty much saying gumtree told me to say that but I will do it if you ask. Ask them over txt how much for massage, when they tell you, ask how much for HE. Most will do nude and hand job for extra

You just have to go and get the massage to actually see. Usually they'll wear something skimpy and have no problem with some light touching of their legs. They'll give you a back/leg/arm massage and then start to work your inner thighs before raking their hand against your ballsack on a pass through.

Then you ask how much the "tip" usually is.

If they are Asian, they will rub/suck off a Caucasian

Just ask if they have any specials that's code for do you do happy endings

>stock gear ratios
Smdh fam

the fat retard thought he needed nitrous to go faster. he couldnt understand about gear ratios. he couldnt understand most anything, his father was bit brighter, but holy fuck was that family inbred as european nobility. the wife thought she was hot big titty queen of the south, when she was fat pig bitch like the daughter, and both had a worse receeding hairline than the men did, they looked like fucking samurai with the front of their heads shaved.

if the whole deal wasnt started as a drug money front they wouldnt have the means to stay open a week.

Keep the stories coming lads

I've done massage parlors in several cities, and the rule is as follows
- read a site like eccie that reviews AMPs
- find positive reviews with thumbs up by frequent posters
- go to AMP, if they offer it, opt for the table shower
- either way, get all the way nude for your massage (a non-whore will ask you to put a towel or some baggy boxers on)
- let massage begin, and ten or fifteen minutes in, ask if there are any "extras" on the menu - "extras" seems to be the key word
- negotiate price and proceed
- it helps if you've been to eccie or some similar site because you will know the typical prices paid
I've got anything from head to a rimjob and handjob to bbbj to covered fucking

Bump

In America, any massage parlor open until 10pm or later will offer happy endings. Legit massage places close before 7pm or earlier.

You're welcome.

Rubmaps and aampmaps are legit. I got curious too, wound up deciding to go the apartment route. Felt safer, less complicated.

Rip Harry Dean Stanton

A place that did that got busted up the road from me. One lady was actually fucking customers. I've never gone anywhere like that, but it looked like a fancy place.

>it was literally called "Asian massage"

Hahahaha!

i love amp girls

Unherntree is some of the best dialect writing I've read, well done user! What state was that?