ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers

ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers

>Ability to punch people using my mind
>Damage output is directly proportional to how much I fucking hate that person

you control the weather

But only right above your head

but your mind also takes damage when you do it

But North Korea destroyed HARP
FeelsBad.jpg

ability to control forces of the universe (gravity, electromagnetic force etc.)

only inside your skull

Anything I'm sitting on (or in) can magically fly like pic related, and I can steer with my mind

>Can only fly straight down.
The ability to shit out large gold bricks.

You must eat twice their weight in platinum first.
>Ability to make anything I'm looking at explode, only range limit is line of sight

It also causes an equal sized explosion centered on you

Power to make any woman I want have consensual sex with me

You have a lazy eye and it wanders at the worst possible moments.
Ability to alter local gravity fields (within...50 feet), including decreasing my own personal gravity so I can jump/float but not really fly.

Only works on women above the age of 90
>Body is completely indestructible (cannot be damaged by any means except for old age) and also does not feel pain

Explodes over the course of 6 years and you must stare at it that long or start over.
>I can make small objects disappear by shoving them up my dick hole.

You are now a statue

The power to look good in yoga pants

Lowering the Earth's gravity will increase the gravity of other objects by the same amount. For example, halving the Earth's gravity so you can make super jumps will double your own gravitational pull relative to all other objects around you.

>You are now a statue
but your entire skin is itchy

>The power to look good in yoga pants
But no one, under any circumstances, will notice

Ability to turn yourself invisible

Your dick gets 1 inch smaller every time you do this
>Ability to freeze time (no it doesn't also make me freeze as well)

You fart extremely loudly while you're invisible. Other people are aware of both your power and its nerf.

>Ability to teleport to anywhere on the Earth's surface I choose

>Ability to freeze time (no it doesn't also make me freeze as well)
You'll develop a brain tumor over time

>Ability to freeze time (no it doesn't also make me freeze as well)
But only while drinking water

>You will be hunted by the government

The ability to eat and digest absolutely anything that can enter my mouth

>But everytime you eat something you'll get a lockjar for a week

Ability to grow your hair any length you desire instantly

I meant jawlock sorry

Hair also grows on the inside of your body to the same length
>Ability to move through solid objects

You only ever want to bone grannies

and only through solid objects

Fuck

>Ability to learn any skill set in full, as well as understand the working behind said skill and also fully utilize said skill after watching someone or something use that skill.
Eg: learning woodworking in full after watching a carpenter, and being about to immediately do it

Will go blind after 1 use
>retarted ape strength (am not retarted or an ape)

No nerf needed

what kind of pathetic ass person wants to punch people using their mind? Power to choose infinite power and you choose to stay beta.

Ability to fill anything. Gas tank, bank account, cup, bowl anything

The ability to shrink and grow at wull.

You can only fill things with jelly beans.

Can only fill things up to 1/472 capacity, and no more than that.

Also, you can only fill things with piss

Fuck

You can never control how big or small you want to grow or shrink whenever ability is used

Your organs don't shrink and grow with you.

The ability to phase through walls.

kek

But I mean... If that's what you WANT, how is that a nerf?

But only walls that are made of red sandpaper

Does that mean he can't move through the air around us?

The ability to make any disease free hot guy let me suck his erect penis

Your phase ability sometimes flickers, which bet get you trapped in a wall eventually.

>you forget what you were going to do in the room you went everytime you use you power
ability to control the outcome of every situation you're involved in

But you forget it ever happened and so does he

He beats the shit out of you for sucking his penis afterwards.

You never get involved in situations with possible good outcome ever again

But you die before you get the chance
>the ability to turn ham and cheese sandwiches into gold

Sounds like my life already.

It's a gold wrapped chocolate bar

You're allergic to ham, cheese, and gold

you are stuck in a world of roast beef.

The gold is incredibly hot to touch.

Sounds like a win to me.

It's an automatic ability, thus making you unable to ever eat delicious ham and cheese sandwiches ever again.

The ability to heal any of your bones if they break.

The ability to travel through time

The power to have everything happen how I want it to 100℅ of the time

One second at a time 2 second cooldown

No nerf needed, ability only apples to your own bones

>The ability to genuinely smile at somebody and have them believe me when I tell them that I truly hope they have a nice day.

But you can not control where in time you land. Also limited to 1 use a day so no insta get out faggot.

But it happens 500 years in the future

You're bipolar.

Another bone breaks in its place
> ability to self destruct

You repair them with a paper thin substitute, eventually needing to perpetually use your power in order to have a skeletal structure that doesn't crumble under the weight of your organs, fat, and flesh.

>apples

No nerf needed, people already always misunderstand you

But it causes them to have a shitty day.

It always has an ironic twist that severely hurts you or your loved ones.

The ability to make people orgasm at will

You can only self destruct in the sense that you end up making your life worse via poor decisions.

So what you're saying is, I'd already be dead by now? Sign me right the fuck up, all I'm doing is gaining a superpower.

Fucking autocorrect

Meant to react to

happens whenever you use the toilet.

They know it was you who caused it.

>tfw I already do that

They'll know it was you and you'll quickly become the world's most notorious sex offender.

But only your parents
> ability to brush teeth and drink oj without the horrible feeling and taste

Everything tastes like peanut butter for the next hour after brushing.

But it misses the attacking Pokémon 100% of the time.

The ability to breathe underwater.

But you waste brushing your teeth, because you now MUST drink OJ after you do it.
Enjoy the cavities.

And only underwater

Only up to 2".

>Ability to teleport anywhere on the Earth's surface I choose
There's a 50% chance that you'll teleport 10ft above that spot.

Only when you are asleep
> Ability to look seductive to any woman right when I want to

Unless you're teleporting over a bed of nails or broken glass, that's not really a problem

Why not just teleport again? Statistically, you'll only have to teleport three times max to get where you want to be.

But you can only do it in public when you are baked and naked.

Ability to always get away with speeding.

kek

One day you crash and fucking die

But you can't stop. Ever.

There boyfriends are always standing by.

all objects are solid, even air. the solid particles in a gas or liquid are just further apart than in a "solid" object.

The ability to turn Super Saiyan

The power to always have a good day.

Win

Only works on a small deserted island in the middle of the pacific
> ability to reach everything