k fags
i'm tired of being a fat piece of shit
i have some questions about tapeworms
so i heard that if you get this tapeworm into your intestine
it makes you lose weight
obviously i know this comes with diseases probably and probably pain
but i'm lazy garbage and see no results from exercise or anything
so with this tapeworm if i get that shit in my intestine and it eats half my nutrients or w/e, what can i do to a. get one and b. make sure that i don't fucking die from it before i lose 20 pounds
K fags
Isaac Evans
Noah Collins
Swim off the coast off Mexico
Carter Richardson
You fucken waste of oxygen
Robert Rodriguez
thats a stupid as shit idea. might as well just shoot yourself if thats your best weight lose alternative.
Either just take regular laxatives and shit things through you before your body has time to digest it enough or change your pig diet you fat fuck.
I suggest harribo sugar free gummy bears.
Jaxson Howard
Someone already tried this. They went and bought tapeworm larva, and consumed it, and then the larvae went into her blood stream and then they seeded tape worms all through her body and she died.
Jaxson Powell
>shit things through before your body has time to digest it
Are you slow?
Shit is digested food so taking laxatives won't help. Lol
Julian Flores
Imagine being so addicted to shitty food that you would be willing to infest yourself with a dangerous parasite before ever considering just putting the fork down
Mason Mitchell
Buy egg filled feces on the darknet.
Put them up your ass with your ass spoon.
Elevate your anus for 3-4 hours to make sure the eggs work their way in.
youtube.com
Andrew Taylor
The thing is my eating habits haven't been that garbage for the past 2 months. I'm still 90 pounds overweight, though. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me and I'm tired of that being the worst thing about me.
Ryder Hughes
What in the fuck user
Jonathan Cook
Why not just eat cereal drink a coffee then have a small dinner do this is you're not about health. You will get skinny as FUCK. Fast from morning until night then eat dinner and sleep, it is actually healthy to do that if you do it properly. All the shitt kept in your fat cells will be depleted so you can replace it with good stuff but
Gabriel Allen
You fat fucks always say you don't eat "that much," but it always turns out you eyeball 5000 calories as 500
Count your fucking calories. Don't guess, don't estimate, don't pretend this one little snack doesn't count; actually count that shit.
Jason Peterson
its called exercise/activity. The human body was never meant to sit constantly without moving. I guarantee if you did something physical for a couple hours every other day this magically 90 lbs. would disappear.
Adam Rivera
Tapeworms are a terrible idea, it'd be better to get fat removal surgery and then workout so you don't look so disgusting
Liam Flores
i heard that if you get this tapeworm into your intestine
it makes you lose weight
>> that will kill you OP yeah it works but if you leave the worm into to long ya die ether learn to love yourself and you're fatness or join a gym and eat a salad once in awhile. BTW I really hope this is bait.
Jordan Wilson
Holy shit, just KYS. I managed to lose 35kg of weight by just working out and changing my diet. It's not that fucking hard, god damn it.
Aiden Reed
It only takes about 4 ounces, just the tip of your ass teaspoon.
Robert Williams
>here use these
Julian Gonzalez
I have a secret for you user. I'm 180cm and 73kg and I eat a lot of everything when I want to. Fries, pastas, pizzas. No restriction. I just use to move my ass and make exercise, almost everyday I make my own cooking recipes and I neverhave industrial shit. Only fresh meat, vegetables and no sugar cans. KILL THESE SODAS beacause it's the worst. Today I'm in really good shape and I eat everything I want. Just throw your process food and motivate yourself to cook good stuff with fresh product. Also less depressed when you quit junk food.
Nathaniel Bell
Sugar free haribo lmao this guy
Ryder Baker
newfag
Asher Smith
...
Nathan Myers
This. Just exercise a couple of times a week and don't drink soda. One can a week won't do any harm but not daily. Just drink water. This is 80% of weight loss. Another 15% can be achieved by skipping super fatty or sugary foods. The rest is micromanagement, not interesting for average people. It's the shit that everyone over at /fit/ is arguing about but there is no consensus over it.
Robert Hernandez
i've had one for years and I lost like 10 pounds over the years from doing nothing, most will tell you it doesn't work but what do they know it does and let me tell you it's a special feeling knowing some little guy is inside you and helping you out.
Brayden Taylor
eat less, exercise more
Luke Bailey
Hey your body has a thing called cellular weight so once you are at a stable weight your body will try keep it the same.
I guess parasite is a legit idea like leeches for poison. But anything internal is bad.
Keep up the diet and exercise. I have been going 8 years now.
Adam Johnson
If you're 90 lbs overweight and saw no change at all, then yes, your eating habits ARE garbage. On a proper cut you should have lost about 16 lbs (2 lbs per week, given a proper cut is 500 lbs under TDEE) if you didn't change at all, you were probably eating maintenance.
If you want to lose weight, calculate your TDEE (total daily expenditure of energy) and eat 500 under. That's literally all you need to do to just lose weight in a healthý manner. It doesn't take any work, you don't have to work out (given you'll be skelly mode due to muscle loss), and you'll feel better overall.
Sif you're so goddamn lazy that you can't do basic math, here's some simple tips that took me from obese to average in months:
>CUT FUCKING SODA. This shit is bad and makes so many people obese. Replace it with water.
>Cut out fast food. Your waist will get smaller and your wallet will get bigger. Use your newfound money to buy actually decent food.
>Take a walk every day. An hour is preferable but if you can barely motivate your fat ass, just around the block or something. Old friend of mine lost a ton of weight just by getting off his ass and walking with me while we talked about stupid shut
What you don't do:
>put a fucking parasite in your body
That's the fucking dumbest idea I've ever heard of. Seriously... the fuck
Samuel Clark
Now here's what you do, you get a ticket to go to the shittiest part of thailand, spend the day there gorging on the thai food, then you travel back home on the shittiest airline and eat as much airline food as possible, the more chinky, the better, the next wek should have you see the aony of bali belly, I was already a light person at 60 kgs, but after that first week back, my weight had dropped to 56 kg due to being unable to eat solid food, liquid food, or anything, alongside the liquid shits that come every half hour no matter the time of day or night
Joshua Garcia
>Are you slow?
Shit is waste products, cell debris but also food that has not been fully digested/absorbed.
Think about it, once the chyme enters the intestines, it's not sucked up immediatly, the process takes time, you need bile to emulsify fats, you need pancreatic enzymes turn the digested mass in to particles small enough to be absorbed by the intestines
However if you take laxatives, it increases peristalsis or inhibits some of the absorbtion, giving the body less time to absorb nutrients, leading to less nutrients gained from the food.
Isaac Anderson
...
Kayden Cook
CALORIES IN < CALORIES OUT
NO NEED FOR EXERCISE. JUST STOP EATING SO MUCH YOU FAT FUCK
Ethan Cook
>obviously I know this could easily kill me in the same off chance as huffing paint on the wrong day of the but
But nothing. No one should help you commit suicide you fat dummy.
Jordan Reyes
>The thing is that's not exactly what I'm doing
Amazing how you just ignore the posts you respond to
Colton Edwards
I'll make it easy for you. Look into keto diet. It's much easier to stay in it since its a fat diet. Preparing your weekly meals ahead of time makes it even easier.
It'll make you less hungry, you don't even have to do shit, you can sit on your fat ass all day and you can still lose weight. Working out will make it go faster.
Adrian Morris
That sounds like work
I swear it's my genetics
Lincoln Foster
Eat once a day, an you will be fine!
Owen Stewart
If OP is truly desperate a VLCD might work too, but that shit is kind of rough
Leo Ramirez
youtube.com
Imbecile. Tapeworms (specifically their eggs and larval form) can enter your bloodstream and often settle in the brain. Google Tapeworms on the Brain for more info.
Luke Harris
How bad can it get?
This isn't even the limit of the horror. Some people die and they find the brain dripping with worms during the autopsy.
Easton Thomas
Obviously he knows there are probably diseases and probably pain, user
Elijah Kelly
>He doesn't know middleschool level biologi
Hudson Rivera
That's a specific group of tapeworms (Taenia) there are others that don't migrate such as Diphyllobothrium latum. I'm not saying this because OP should do this (He really shouldn't) but just to correct a misconception that tapeworms in general do this.
Brayden Turner
Click on it. You know you came here to be grossed out.
Bentley Wood
Those look more like roundworms than tapeworms.
Easton Bailey
The people selling tapeworm eggs are going to sell shit that fell out of their cats asshole. You never know what kind of tapeworm you'll end up getting and most people end up with the bad kind. Fuck it, ALL tapeworms can end up in people and ALL tapeworms are bad.
Ryan Cook
Water. Fuck sodas. The only thing I drink are water and milos lemonade. I'll occasionally drink a soda and and have a bag of candy if I'm at the movies or something, and if I'm out of milos and I'm about to eat a meal (can't stand the thought of water with some good food), but other than that, I've completely cut out sodas. Water was unbearable to me about two years ago. Now it's the most refreshing shit ever to me. Also been jogging a bunch. It's challenging at first, and it stays that way for a while, but now it's like a ritual I have to achieve for the day. I take weekends off tho bc fuck that. Commitment is seriously everything user. It hurts and it sucks, but just think about the mad bitches and self respect you'll be able to gain when you find yourself fit and accomplished in a year or so. And after that time period, you'll be so used to the exercise that you'll want to continue. Don't hurt yourself user, improve yourself. It's really worth it.
Angel Long
You're right that most of the tapeworms will be a totally random tapeworms, instead of cat i think the most likely ones are rather the pig and cow tapeworms (Taenia saginata and T.solium) unfortunately, those are the ones that can migrate to the brain.
Cat tapeworms on the otherhand don't really transmit to to humans (except echinococcus, which is just all around bad news.) except with the help of fleas, which you would have to eat to become infected, so seeing those on sale is unlikely.
But i do agree that all tapeworms are generally not good for you, just that some are much worse than others.
Chase Myers
People have their opinions about this guy, but he does speak truth here and there.
youtu.be