I need fucking help guys

I need fucking help guys.
Things were never very good but shit has gone fucking surreal.
I fucking died for a while last month. I was drinking, I got a hooker, got some heroin. I overdosed. Pretty much my best suicide attempt ever.
I just turned 41.
Trying to lose my vergiinity. To drunk to get off.
Got drunk last week and ended up with some gay dude giving me head. I'm not gay.
I don't feel much but fear and shame. I'm here in Battle Creek Mi losing my fucking mind.
Ask me anything.
I just need to talk while I finish this bottle of wine.

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you'll be alright dude

try again

Hey ummmmmm do you know where Rachel is?

If I an hero yes ofcource I will live stream it.

>my best suicide attempt ever

I really don't like hearing people say this.
If you really wanted to die, you wouldn't have gone for a way that can easily fail, you would have straight up just done it.
Be honest with yourself, you have something worth living for. Figure it out.

make a movie about it , will be funny

Blow me? Send pic.

I'm staying alive for rachel

Too much illegal shit.

Dude, serious talk... do shrooms. I also OD'ed on opiates and died 3 times. Shrooms help.

youtube.com/watch?v=81-v8ePXPd4

No human wants to DIE. I just don't really want to live.
Yea that's what I'll do. Figure it out. I've never thought of that.

I was looking for that all fucking night. Best I could find is extract but it was getting late and the situation was too shady.

Dude, serious talk. Shrooms aren't any kind of cure all the same way pot isn't. They both make you feel better under the influence and provide great wastes of money that won't push you to learn anything on your own to escape your feelings versus drugs.

I doubt there are many depressed people with access to mushrooms that haven't thought themselves to try them but all the same, stop it druggie.

Extacy*

where do you live? They usually show up when you need them, the last time they didn't, so I learned how to grow them.

But you get a lot of insight and direction when you trip on shrooms. If you use them correctly its like 10 years of therapy in 6 hours. They will definitely make you face your problems mentally. so when you are sober you have a plan to make your life better.

Shrooms helped me out immensely. Including quiting opiates. It will be 7 years in October.

I really wish people would stop talking about pyschedelics/weed in this psuedo-science bullshit.

Sure they "help" but only if you're already over the shit you're trying to process.

Do not listen to these hippies. If you really want to fix or solve yourself, do it naturally. Otherwise you develop a dependency to the drug.

>but you can't be addicted to psychedelics
again, not a chemical dependency, but you'll start to look for it again every time you "slip" back down towards bad feelings.

I'm in battle creek mi. What's really fucked up my head is some shit I did years ago that has theFBI keeping tabs on me. They don't care if I drink myself to death.

I just know what works for me. And it definitely works for me. I definitely think shrooms should be used weekly if not monthly with breaks in between. Nothing makes me happier then to be on a nice shroom trip. FOR REAL. lol.

what did you do??

My plan is to stay sober from now on.
I can't believe what I've been getting in to.

Some asshole friends of my parents thought they could bull me around so I played a game with them where they thought they discovered something scary that I was hiding.they had to admit what they were doing to the feds.
I used theFBI as my personal army.
They were not happy when they found out that I just wanted attention. Nothing to charge me with but they can't just let that go. It's a weird feeling to think about who in my life may be an informant.

By the way everyone say hi to the feds.