Why is it so hard to find people that like/love you for who you are?
They always preach to "be yourself," and to love others for who they are; nothing else. But every time you're nothing but yourself, you get almost no love, a bunch of hatred, but mainly indifference. Pure, utter indifference.
if ur shit people won't love you. you can still be yourself, as in be shit, but don't expect people to love you.
Yeah man I absolutely get what you mean.
The trick is to actually not ever accept who you are and work on yourself until you actually become what you want to be. Fake it until then.
I've been around a minute and have some wisdom to convey on this subject.
'Being yourself', pretty much just means you want to be an asshole and not get called on it.
Are you actually being yourself though? Or are you being a piece of shit on purpose because "if this person truly loved me they would accept me being like this"?
Being yourself means following your passions regardless of what others think. It means constantly improving yourself to make yourself happy.
blame asian values, authenticity died with sartre
Individualism is gone, there are too many people. Either be a cog that follows what is expected or accept the outcast lifestyle, loneliness being one of many things you will have to deal with.
i am a human being, god damnit.
Working/changing yourself isn't being yourself, though.
"Be yourself" is liberal nonsense that evolved from nigger nonsense. Its just a flowers & rainbows version of "I keeps it REAL!"
Its a psychologically-harmful mantra that ensures that one never takes responsibility for their actions, and maintains no responsibility for the well-being of others. Those who are truly loved and appreciated are those who understand tact and self-sacrifice. Yes, I could "be myself" and tell my boss exactly where to shove it, or I could "be a reasonable and sensible human being" and shut my mouth while finding alternative employment on my own time.
Just have the kinda personality that attracts the most people/friends
We are disposable at this point.
kill people
bitch
It is. A human constantly develops and evolves with new experiences and information. We are all at a constant state of change.
So being yourself is embracing those changes and directing them into a beneficial direction.
I'm a middle-aged man with a wife and three young children. Lately, I've been coming to terms with my latent homosexuality, and am considering leaving my wife and children to pursue my attraction to men. Should I maintain my moral obligations to my family, or "be myself" and leave them so I can get my cheeks blown out regularly?
That sounds more like a problem for younger people.
I was taught to be extremely honest and to not be afraid to voice my opinion. Ive always been that way.
I thought "hey even if i think is bad and might hurt feelings i gotta be the one to say it"
Soooooo many people hated me growing up and im sure almost all of my coworkers hate me too.
When i was younger it would hurt my feelings..i thought people like honest people? I thought they wanted a friend who would "tell it like it is".
Turns out most people only want thaf if you have something nice to say. I even tried to blend in and act fake as fuck but my true colors always came through.
Now im 27 and couldnt care less if people like me.
I have a total of maybe 10 friends (all of them are pretty much assholes, which is why i guess they liked me)
And theyre more than enough.
My main point is...im my only real friend. I hold a lot of pride knowing that in this day and age where people are so fake and sensitive that i didnt conform to it. Its literally the best thing to be hated for.
i am myself i dont have to fake anything and still have friends whats up with you that you have to be someone else to get friends? you know that these people dont like you but only the person you try to be? you aint getting a true friendship out of that.
I assume you and your wife have been partners for a long time. Speak to her and find a solution together.
>A human constantly develops and evolves with new experiences and information.
Automatically. Not manually. Or through willpower.
>So being yourself is embracing those changes and directing them into a beneficial direction.
Being yourself is just that, being yourself. Being who you are. Being your natural character. Not making any attempts or efforts to alter. Not making any chances or advancements. Not vying for any "improvements" or "growth." Just being who you are by default.
Then you shouldn't be yourself in a sense of stagnating as what you've already become.
If you're OK with the way you currently are, actually behaving like that will act like a bullshit filter.
If you feel like people are indifferent to you when you're yourself, then that actually means you are hanging out with the wrong people.
If you truly believe in yourself and that the way you behave is justified, then what other people's indifference actually signifies is them not respecting the same values as you do, and thus that they are not worth your time anyway.
Keep it up and you'll eventually end up with people you do like, and people that like you.
Unless you start living like a hermit and stop trying ofc.
>'Being yourself', pretty much just means you want to be an asshole and not get called on it.
Nope. It means being an asshole if you feel like it or if the other person deserves it and not giving a shit when you're called on it.
voicing your opinion is not as objectionable as HOW you voice that opinion. My girlfriend is like you, she says whatever she wants, whenever she wants, because thats how her parents raised her. My parents raised me to be honest as well, but at the appropriate time, and with consideration to the individual perspectives of those involved. Consequently, my opinion is not only heard, but strongly considered, and I am often complimented for my restraint and professionalism. On the other hand, I tell my girlfriend that she is acting like a nigger, and will be treated as such until she learns to speak like the white woman that she is. She's learning quick, and I hope to undo 18 years of shitty parenting within the year.
I don't have any friends but I have no problem getting people to like me. Friendships are so fucking draining! Waaah I have this problem, waaaah I need that, waaaaah I want this. It's like a permanent exchange of emotional baggage.
I just want to mind my own business and concentrate on my life. Once in a while i'd like to go out and cause some trouble and laugh at shit, but it's not like I can just drop in on my friends after ignoring them for months.
>I hope to undo 18 years of shitty parenting within the year.
You sound like a really smug, self-satisfied prig
This.
I can assure you i dont give a fuck if im called out on it.
In fact i WELCOME being called out on it..
It would end in 1 of 2 ways
1. The person makes me realize i was indeed out of line and leave the situation feeling more enlightened.
Or
2. Gives me a chance to throw logic and examples explaining why what i said was justified and who doesnt love making someone look like a damn fool?
Sadly in most cases its been a 2 for me but where im from its not too hard to outwit anyone here.
Dubs of truth. I bet this guy masturbates while looking in the mirror.
I'd say that your decision to not tell your boss to shove it would also fall under "being yourself", since it was your own decision, made because of your own reasons and ultimately in your own best interest.
"Not being yourself" in the subverse of this thread would be more like "i keep doing certain things, not because i enjoy it or because i want to for myself, but rather because it's the apparent norm or because it's expected of me for some arcane reason"
Agreed
Finding a solution sounds like I'll have to make compromises. Compromises are not a part of "being myself." I think I will abruptly ask my family to find an alternative living situation before retreating to the master bedroom with a leather-clad homosexual to engage in loud and aggressive anal intercourse while my sobbing wife helps our children with the suitcases. That solution more closely aligns with me being myself. If you disagree, you are an intolerant bigot who cannot accept people for who they choose to be.
Fuck up
All because i say what i want doesnt mean i was never taught to hold back at the wrong time.
Dude i work retail...i gotta hold myself back everyday haha.
Though im pretty good at guessing when its okay to be my shitty self.
Hurting feelings isnt something i try to avoid though. I literally only care about myself in those situations
"Does this person look like a logical person?"
"Will this person punch me in the face if i say this?"
"Will this cunt tell my manager if i told her what i truely think of him?"
I consider all of those things...but if the worst i get from it is hurt feelings then ill go right in.
People are pretty predictable when you look at them. Or at least its been pretty easy for me.
In reality you're probably a dick with no self-awareness that everyone actually hates. A cognizant Dunning–Kruger effect
That's because who you are is disgusting.
I dunno. I found someone to love me and i'm otherkin.
Faggot scum
>otherkin.
Nice try - let's see who falls for it.
>*opens popcorn*
Oh
there's one already
Why don't girls see you on the inside? Oh they do, and they see that you're fat and fucking gay.
fuck up ya ugly cunt
No, I legitimately am otherkin. This is not a joke.
My partner strokes my fur, feeds me snacks, rubs my belly, tucks me in under blankets and calls me his beautiful bear.
>Inb4 foreveralone virgins get butthurt
Yes, I came off as a self-satisfied little shit lord as I pedantically strained my point until it was lost entirely. I'm simply trying to clarify that saying whatever, whenever, is counter-productive. It only elicits contempt in others, and is rarely edifying, particularly within a group dynamic. Tact is an important skill when trying to ingratiate oneself to others. I won't advocate for eternally suffering in silence for fear of being disliked, but I see little value in running one's mouth with no regard for how it is perceived, despite how right one might be. Honesty, even confrontational honesty, is necessary. But when and where that honesty is conveyed is certainly a factor, and covering up one's lack of self-control as "being myself" is unacceptable in my opinion.
If someone wants to "be themselves" and get a tattoo - be my guest. If a new hair color, or clothing style, or choice of activity enables you to "be yourself", then I fully support you in that pursuit. But if telling someone else that they are a fucking moron and suggesting they suck donkey balls is "being yourself," then you need to find a way to be better than yourself.
Permavirgin detected, mad some wild animal can get his dick wet and all the love he wants
whit ye oan about ya fuckin daftie
Youn yer fuukin super fuukin lager, swat i been tellin ye
Fuck up, ya fuckin cheese burger eatin, diabetic, retard
Old maxim. "When in a hole, stop digging"
No-one cares about you or your opinion. But your complete lack of self-awareness has forced you to try to justify yourself, in order to protect your own fragile sense of self-worth.
You start talking about tattoos and hair colour as a distraction but try to make it significant - yet you're the only one to mention either. You also use over-long and over-wrought prose to try to show how clever you are. You're not.
I shall be more succinct. Fuck off; you're a dumb faggot.
>faggots not understanding that "yourself" is purely determined by habits you practice and engage in
You can change yourself to be a better faggot who fits in better with society.
Or you can change society to fit in better with yourself
>im14andthisisdeep
Truly the most godlike gift given only to man is to change his environment to suit him
Actually, I was paraphrasing George Bernard Shaw
>The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Are you saying that you're so clever that you regard GBS as a 14-yo?
Psychfag here,
You have to change those habits early on in order to "change" yourself. Otherwise, you become increasingly stuck with them for life. And "yourself" is who you are by default, not by however you try to alter it.
>But people change all the time.
In the same manner as when your body goes through changes over time. Not something your average human has a lot of say in.
Plus, the whole "changing yourself" thing tends to be more of the case of people who focus more on the destination of a journey, rather than the journey itself.
thats alpha as fuck
I've never understood this be yourself thing, do people legit act differently around people?
If you aren't getting love from people you are either hanging around asshole or are one yourself. I find with adults they don't waste their time around people that make their lives shitty
This doesn't happen. You feel justified, but they don't look the fool.
The other person gets congratulated by other people for calling you out on your asshole-ery.
You leave feeling like a smug child while making everyone hate being around you. Let your narcissism make you feel superior, but the people who interact with you do so out of obligation, or pity.
Samefag still trying to self-justify
Nice try.
Really? You offer that?
Pic relevant
I responded in around a minute, but whatever believe what you want!
The point of this website is to make the socially inept feel superior anyways.
>I responded in around a minute
>but whatever believe what you want!
>The point of this website is to make the socially inept feel superior
Hows that working out for you?
Do you know who you are?
If you don't love/like/respect yourself, don't expect anyone to.