Wife is out pretty late tonight. Any surefire ways to detect the sanctity of her pussy?

Wife is out pretty late tonight. Any surefire ways to detect the sanctity of her pussy?

If you can get a swab sample, there are ways. Others are just to search for hairs that aren't hers under her clothing.

"gotta inspect the pipes mam"

By licking/fingering her to see if you taste cum. Be really thorough, sometimes it's waay up there

Pour holy-water on it while she's sleeping. If it steams & hisses, she's possessed by Zozo. If it doesn't, she's cheating on you.

Check her oil. Gauge with a finger. If you've been in there enough, you should be able to tell if it's been dicked.

fuck her so well she isnt interested in anyone else?

>Wife is out pretty late
nigga please

Post her nudes. It's the only way we can know for sure.

Also, the smell. A well fucked vag has a unique odor.

She's with me. And yes she's been well dicked. 2nd's for you tonight bro

Ask her how she her night was. If she gets finicky and inconsistent, chances are she has something to hide.

Truth. Women cant stfu about their day and details. The fewer details she provides, the more cucked you are OP.

>wife is out pretty late tonight

Doing what? There is a big difference between visiting her dying grandma at the hospital late and hanging out at a club. Need more details.

fishn

Is she out shopping? Is she out picking up your kids?

She's out to pretend she's not married to you. Otherwise you'd be with her, fuck-face.

You let yours leave the house?

Smell the pussy.

>all these shitty suggestions

OP, do yourself a favor and copy John Douglas' interrogation method.

Maybe her watch is off a couple of hours (:

let me smell yo dick

Taste test

Tell her you really want to go down on her. There are only 2 reasons a female would say no. Period or cheating.

check for redness around the pussy. Also beard rash on her tits and between her legs

or I don't feel like it or I'm stressed or I'm angry about some vague thing or I'm just not in the mood or I'm constipated
go touch a real life female and then come back and try to dispense your vast wisdom

Smell it and taste it. You will know.

easy... assuming you take regular measurements of her orifices using a digital caliper, simply re-measure as soon as she gets home and compare the results with the rest of your data...
I do this several times a week to my wife, sometimes more. It's almost like a fun routine for her now!

/thread

This

Aside, Vanilla chicks are boring, bro.
Get yourself a good submissive though and you won't have this problem.

Ask her.
If she tells you nothing happened, and you believe her, then no problem.
If she tells you nothing happened, and you don't believe her, then either:
1, you're right, and she's lying, so you should leave her.
2. it doesn't matter if you're right, trust is gone, your relationship is dead, so you should leave her.

Easy as that, OP.

I heard they can drive now in Saudi Arabia, how's that working out for you op? She's already out whoring around?
>By Allah she will pay!
>Achmed get the stones

My last several serious gf's have been so painfully vanilla... never again lol
they're idea of "sex" is some nicholas sparks, cutsie missionary shit

1-800 Logical Advice Mr. Spock.

if you don't mind my asking, what are your wife's latest measurements

...

I was in a 6 year relationship with a mostly vanilla girl and it was a toxic shithole that almost ruined my life, personality, career, and social standing.

About a year ago I started living with my full time BDSM slave, best decision ever.

I come home from work to her kneeling on her cushion in the living room, by my chair.
I walk in, and she removes my shoes, places them in the closet, and presents to me her collar, I lock it around her neck, and she normally has dinner done within about ten or fifteen minutes from this time.

My house is spotless, my meals are of excellent quality, my clothes washed, all of my housework is done entirely by her. She doesn't work (back injury, forces a slight modification to how I can play with her, but nothing overmuch.), so she has the time.

My every sexual desire is met. I couldn't be happier. Her kinks are domestic servitude and being a pleasure sub. I'm in love with this woman.

true

Kill her.