What's the new legal alternative for these zombie knifes in the UK my fellow britfags? I need one for protection...

What's the new legal alternative for these zombie knifes in the UK my fellow britfags? I need one for protection. It's needs to be able to drop someone quickly.

kill yourself

chainsaw

Cricket bat in summer, hockey stick rest of year.

............... No

It needs a blade and it needs to be not too big, so this won't work.

>banning knives that are green
Man, that piece of legislation was so fucking stupid.
You can by the knife in that picture if it has no illustrations/colour, but you can't buy it if is green.

Why would you want one of those shitty things anyway. You know the law, can't be carrying around anything longer than 3 inches. That being said though there's nothing stopping you from owning a machete, sword, crossbow, regular bow, or any knife for that matter. It's only illegal if you have it out in public. Machetes are legal to own and are pretty cheap

Shit you'll need to find a knife with fire damage instead of poison - are red ones still legal??

Then you're not aiming properly.
Either one applied to side of knee will wreck the joint, for a killing blow aim for neck/ throat .

Why does it need to have a blade? Unless you've got actual combat training with one, you're better off with a blunt object for self defense.

Be honest, you're not actually getting it for protection, you're getting it because you're some ninja-wannabe zombie survivalist.

probably a spoon if you want to be legal about it

i would not want to fight someone with a blunt object. they can over power you and take the object from you and kill you with it. I have a spirder co knife and no one could ever hope to get that out of my grip. I carry a g19 usually, because ya know, freedom and shit

a whistle to alert the police that they need to return to the station and draw weapons then go to your location and perform rigid escalation of force procedures before finally being allowed to fire one round at the zombies so long as none of them are the returned corpses of minorities or muslims
but be careful not to blow your whistle too vigorously as it could hurt the ears of the people and/or zombies around you making it an offensive weapon

>I need one for protection.
No you don't. You're just an underaged fantasist wanabee tough guy who's played way too much vidya and seen too many hard men movies

It's much easier to overpower someone swinging a knife at you than a bat

Only explanation why anyone would want that type of shit

>You're an underaged fantasist wannabee tough guy

Pro tip don't project yourself on to other people it's embarrassing

For starters get a machete, or a bowie knife, those zombie killer blades are shit and would probably snap at the base just above the hilt with one or two good hard swings, you want something that can handle the force you deliver equally through the blade

the bat really has no power if you don't intimidate your opponent, because they can tackle you and it becomes useless. fighting a man with a bat with your own bat wouldn't exactly be fun either. i'd rather be in a gun fight

you need an ID for that

>mommy will defend me or i'll just die w/e XD

What exactly do you think the primary demographic of that mall ninja shit is, anyway? It's not projection when you admit to it.

I don't even understand what you are saying, so whatever you think I am it's incorrect, also I'm a brit. They aren't called malls they are called shopping centre's you Yankee fuck.

we call them malls in florida

It honestly looks like an overpriced crap machete.

It's an American company, and that's besides the point since "mall ninja" is the general term, regardless of which side of the road you drive on.

Bingo

You watch too many movies. If you catch a bat your hands ate broken

In Plymouth we call our indoor shop building the 'mall'. A shopping centre is the outside bit.

I never said catch the bat. You can tackle someone faster than they can swing a bat. Same reason why cops will shoot you if you get within 15 feet of them with a weapon. They know a person and close a gap and attack them faster than they can draw and fire very if they get that close. My cc course demonstrated this to me. So unless they just keep swinging it is very possible to just tackle them if you are close

This

You can have a Machete/Katana but somehow a butterfly knife is illegal

Don't strife bin that knife

...

80s movies, also people cut themselves easily. butter fly knives are not illegal though i bought 2 on amazon, they are just not allowed to show them sharped, you have to do it yourself which sucks

If your really that scared or really want to go on the offence just get an antique wheel gun

Yeah, we're really good at stupid, knee-jerk laws.

>You can tackle someone faster than they can swing a bat
get a load of this guy. seriously dude, look. I'm about to save your dumb ass life.
Your power of force/motion is stronger closer to the body, meaning if youre a scrawny little shit, the deathgrip you practice on your dick wont save you from getting that knife turned on you. If you get into a knife fight expect to get cut/stabbed. You're better off producing some lethal ballistic arms* (firearms use combustion - in USA ballistics weapons are not subject to litigation limiting 'fire-arms') than a knife, and trust you'd rather have the range a bat gives you than a knife. Dont like a bat? buy a telescopic baton. Or you could do what any normal person would do - move somewhere that affords you the right to protect yourself under assault.

Underrated kek.

FFS I will never understand how an entire country of white people can allowed themselves to become so cucked.

You aren't even allowed to have fucking pocket knives? Is her royal ass queen really so worried about you all overthrowing her?

I can buy an AR-15 at my local walmart. FFS, british people make me sad. I revoke your white card.

I'm not going to claim to be some melee combat expert, because like I said I carry a gun. I am just saying a cracked out nigger who is not afraid of you can tackle you and fuck you up if you have a baseball bat.

A kitchen knife

Jesus christ.... how do you people not revolt. I would kill myself rather than live in a country that fucking retarded. You make Saudi Arabia look more civilised and less retarded than you.

I dunno, jab the tip into their top lip rather than swinging - which generally takes too much room and time anyway - and it's got a fair bit of stopping power.

sharpen one edge of a crow bar

>centre's
Maybe try leaving out the grocer's apostrophe when correcting some other user.

You're a Yankee any grammar correcting you do becomes immediately pointless as your language is just a fake rip off of mine.

Because that's exactly what it is. They're cheap because they're, well, cheap.

You think a 2lb bat moves slower than a 200lb human. You are a complete retard.

If you dive at a guy with a bat, you're getting your skull crushed in.

You can tackle someone with a gun, too. People can't teleport behind you, psh nothing personnel kid

just carry some sand in your pocket to blind any potential assailants

>you fool

everyone knows a katana is the key. trust me, i know the zombie apocalypse survival guide by heart. been reading it each month since its publication.

Large heavy bladed butcher knife as used in slaughter houses.

hurr durr, I live in a shit hole so I need a knife "for protection".

You're a fucking pussy, I live in South London, Niggers and Pakis everywhere and I don't need to carry a "zombie knife".

I bet you are masturbate thinking about pic relating and how badass you would look carrying on of those.

Nope. Britfag.

Fuck, that's a vicious looking piece of kit.

Get a used putter, get to a grind whel and sharpen all along the head. Perfectly legal, fairly unremarkable on the street. Gives you a good reach on any opponent and you can really cave in someone's skull with it.

Any flesh wounds would not be a straight slice but an irregular gash. Bitch to treat, can't just stitch it up.

theres a reason our crime rate involving guns is alot lot lot lower then your country because theres no reason for people to be carrying shit like that around like why do you need somthing that can kill people? protection? bullshit.

because there cheap shitty steel and look cool to younger audiences and there also fucking everywhere online

Bow and arrow

took the bait

freedom and shit? yeah country sounds amazing you have to carry a weapon on you at all times so you feel "safe" pathetic country i walk out my door with my wallet keys cigarettes phone and feel completely fine going about my day.

...

this is true, america is just shit, also fuck your patriotism its stupid retarded

Easier said than done

Holy shit, that's the ultimate weapon. Perfect stab wound that would require a surgeon to close, and when you aren't using it as a weapon, it's sheath is the perfect dildo - look at that texturing - rigged - for my pleasure.

The reason is that you can't get your fucking hands on any sort of real gun without getting rectally probed once a month by your facist government.... How are your knife crimes? Sky high, oh but they are illegal in your shitty country too, no?

Oh, but knives are a bit harder to confiscate and prevent the populace from acquiring, so in that incidence nothing changes. Now, imagine how the london bridge would have gone in Florida. You would have a van of dead sand niggers instead of a street of hacked up cucks.

hmm not sure you used patriotism right there bud..

and the reason we cant get our hands on them is because there illegal? there not illegal cause we cant get them that just sounds fucking stupid... and yeah people got ran over by a van im sure your police would of killed them before that happend...

ALL THAT SHE WANTS, IS ANOTHER BABY AND SHE'S GONE TOMORROW BOY