How to wake up near a gf like this?

How to wake up near a gf like this?

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stop being a gypsy for one.

Show her your BBC.

Find a girl you like, follow her home, and set up a sleeping bag outside her window. You'll wake up near her.

Be black.

stop to shitpost everyday on Sup Forums as first step.

Cloroform.

Chloride, and a rag.

Define "near".

with wood.
and pound that as often and long as you can