How to wake up near a gf like this?

How to wake up near a gf like this?

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stop being a gypsy for one.

Show her your BBC.

Find a girl you like, follow her home, and set up a sleeping bag outside her window. You'll wake up near her.

Be black.

stop to shitpost everyday on Sup Forums as first step.

Cloroform.

Chloride, and a rag.

Define "near".

with wood.
and pound that as often and long as you can

you have to get these numbers

>politics

fake tits

be handsome, confident, and funny.

you mean these

Get into gentle femdom, find one of the many right wing women who'll rape you on the way to the range and force you to stay home and look after the kids and the home because men are better parents.

>chloride
if you just put salt on a rag, that won't get you far.

Thank God.

found the virgin

Is this some muslim trick?

>naked fucking ass being rubbed directly against my mattress
>no cover, no sheet, nothing separating her sweaty asshole from the surface I sleep on nightly and is incredibly difficult to properly clean

Try the zoo. Fucking animals.

I could feed my gf a bunch of icecream so she gets fat, but don't know how to make her tits get so small

how's that worked out for you so far

You won't. Best option is to just become the girl like that.

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Swim in a radioactive waste, only super powers may help you OP.

red yellow blue

poo poo poo

Chick detected.

>tfw no gf
>tfw no numbers

You amateurs

fpbp, everytime

This ffs

Was about to say

dunk a basketball and demand money from whitey

looks like my gf.

You probably mean THESE digits

This must be pretty annoying.

Go to sleep near a gf like this

WHOA TRIPLE NUMBERZ DUDE

You wont steal my dubs

>tfw you missed out on young love

you spelled debts wrong

"Near" lol, like next door.

14 yo is legal here. Its never late for the young love, senpai.


:

looks like literally any slut in a bar that will take you home if you just try

It is your gf.
Cuck.

Horrible, I'll try to correct that

What the point? My gf never sleep naked...

>literally any slut in a bar

Not everyone lives in Norway tho.

get a regular gf and then stick a vacuum cleaner on her nipples

check'em

this happens in Norway often?

Because your heat system fails all the time, Ivan. Live in Siberia must be rough.

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By getting Rich

Observe

Nah, these numbers you mean

well they're letting more men into the country so obviously they must have a shortage of them

ONE FUCKING DOLLUH

I got this.

why would you want to wake up next to someone?

how can you know they wont stab you while you're sleeping or poison you?
how could you ever trust someone, seems retarded to me

Finland whats wrong with your flag?

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I got it bros

Yes, you do.

At least we ended on a good note

Thank you Hitler

Canada what's wrong with your flag?

NIGE GRANT US DUBS

bow before me, roaches

>this thread is still up

Can you all guys die already? 3

[insert funny quote of Gordon Ramsay yelling to shitty cook about how raw the chicken is]

peru always with the cheeky digits

looks like a monkey

Nice

denke

If get then i get a gf soon

ugly face, banging bod is the way to go. You get 90 percent of a 10/10 without having to compete much with other men

I started to get mad pussy in uni, once somebody told to others that I did pegging with my gf and was good at different bondage techniques. You can't imagine how many kinky hot girls turned out to be at our uni who private messaged me or directly approached to have fun.

You get used to it, you stop appreciating it.

Salt is now chlorine only and doesn't have sodium
German education

Have a black cock.

youtube.com/watch?v=fSwE8OL0Uh0

twitter.com/EroticGoddessxx/status/734048301075603456

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First, you need to make sure you're dating a 16-22 year old so that her body is that firm. Second, make sure you're not dating an American, so that she isn't fat. That's pretty much all you have to do.

Sup Forums plz go, your board needs you more than you're needed here.

Dip me in guac...

here's some more dubs, roaches

Checked

Rub a dub dub

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This is why I don't like chicken, at best it's an on par substitute for beef and or protein rich vegetables, every other time it's fucking raw or tastes like vaporized rotting fish.

i need trips

>Tfw you've never fugged on a sheet-less mattress.

cool digits and we all get qt gfs

pleb le pleb

nice