I’m drunk as fuck. say something to trip me out

i’m drunk as fuck. say something to trip me out

the bicycles are shining on my knees

You fucking lightweight

You shouldnt care what anyone thinks about you because nobody thinks about you

the walls in the mall are very very tall

knees are just backwards elbows

that made no sense

true
125lbs life

houses are actually free-standing caves

true

i’m so drunk i cant even think of that’s true or not

we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway

omg youre right

what

what

Try not to imagine that your head is a an orange and all you want to do is peel it.

op here fuck i’m so horny i just want a cute yaoi boy to fuck me hahaha

In a 100 years no one will even know you existed or care

i might pull my hair out

Why do our noses run, but our feet smell?

:(

they do both hahahaha

Same weight as me. Kek. Drunk as fuck too, but i drank cheap vodka instead of absolut.

when two planes almost collide they call it a near miss, they should call it a near hit.

-george carlin

i drank grey goose lol

can you give me a blowjob

if we can't see air, can fish see water?

As a society we utilize devices and methods on a daily mundane basis that would have been considered magic 100 years ago. Using them 200 years ago you would've been branded a witch and killed for the safety of the population.

Also, there are native tribes today who shun technology and have no awareness of dinosaurs having existed

traps are gay

i literally couldn’t even read that hahahhaa

idk lol ok that’s fuckign weird

:(

do this op

if you spell radar and racecar backwards, it's still radar and racecar.

Vodka is so cheap that i dont have to do this.

bruh i’m drunk but not dumb

the word 'bed' actually looks like a bed

A Santa dog lived as a devil God at NASA.

i’m cant do these captchas anymore lol

hard as fock lol

oh shit. cannot unsee.

The US dollar is about to collapse.

How do you hear the little voice in your head?

Won't I panic in a pit now?

Hey that's a pretty good one. Never seen it before.

*adjusts tin foil hat*

The girl you had a crush on in HS remembers your face when shes alone and is curious who you are every now and then.

i’m gay :(

Some girls have bussy's ;)

i’m so horny please touch me?

Nah im not gay.