What are your conspiracy theories that are 100% true?

What are your conspiracy theories that are 100% true?

Sun screen is a scam. It doesn't do anything. The cheaper shit actually makes you burn more and the more expensive stuff just does nothing. That way when you burn worse with the cheap shit you buy more expensive stuff next time and think it worked when it just didn't do shit.

What kind of hubris makes mankind believe they can thwart a giant ball of nuclear fire with cream? It's a fucking fusion reaction, you can't beat it with ointment from a keychain you bought at a dollar store.

niggers did 911

Boats don't work. Metal doesn't float. Ships are held up by magnets. Buoyancy is a pseudo-science.

John Cena killed Kurt Cobain.

Ok bear with me. 9/11 didn't happen. The towers are still there. They're being hidden by an elaborate system of mirrors that was constructed by Dolph Lundgren in return for his role in the Expendables franchise.

holocaust
this fiction was created by jews. so they could hide money without paying taxes
hitler did nothing wrong

The zionist lizard illuminati that run the world are actually Muslim Imams trying to force Sharia law on the west by building islamic cultural centers near all of the sites of our tragic events. Gonna have one on the vegas strip in a few years.

Donald Trump was elected President of the Untidy State of America (or whatever it is commonly called these days).

Hitler didn't pay taxes either. Did you know the IRS has no financial records for Adolph Hitler? So let's not throw stones at Jews unless we're also gonna throw them at feminists (who are the ones who voted Hitler into office)

Courtney Love killed Kurt and stole his unpublished work then released it as her own.

No, you dipshit. Dave Grohl killed himself and Kurt Kobain assumed his identity so nobody would think ill of his departed friend.

that america doesn't do shit about gun violence because the gun manufacturers who make the shit want to keep themselves well in the black, no matter the cost of human life?

This album was actually the result of a hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters who were all given LSD and then replaced with the original lineup of the band Fleetwood Mac.

That's a verifiable fact. Wayne LaPierre jerks f with the blood of Sandy Hook victims.

Vegans are actually werewolves. They are trying to get humans to stop eating meat so we'll release our livestock into the wild to make for easier prey for their wolf cousins.

The resulting population explosion of wolves will create a veritable wolfpocalypse. For this reason we should kill and eat vegans because they are voluntarily choosing to be lower on the food chain than us.

Women actually love sucking dick but they withhold blowjobs to gain power over men. It's a gender-wide conspiracy.

Women hate sucking dick but only do it in he first place to trick men into doing things they don't really want to do.

Acid attacks on little girls in the middle east are all justified.

Lava monsters are real and pose the biggest threat to our national security since Adolph Hitler had gay sex with Joe Stalin and gave bitrth to Bin Laden.

Rape isn't real. What kind of person wouldn't respect when a woman says "no?"