At work

>at work
>asshole boss
>need help thinking of subtle ways to fuck with him

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Throw a ball of weed in his office when he isnt looking, call the police and tell them he's smoking weed, in his office, and the smoke affects you, you've had enough, and also to bring the k9 unit because you see he interchanges his hiding spots. Profit

Doze dubs tho

shit in his mouth

He said subtle

Subtly shit in his mouth.

Morgan Freeman?

Go piss in his gas tank or pour sugar in it.

Become an active member of the SJW community and tell them he only hires men because women get pregnant and aren't serious about their jobs.

Bonus points: Get him to say something misogynistic while you stealthily record it.

make him fall in love with you

google.com/amp/s/www.wattpad.com/amp/166468404

For those who don't know. To lazy to go find a cap of the green text.

Sugar in the gas tank doesn't actually work, just a heads up. Just pour water in it, or something that will corrode the engine somehow or something.

That's better

Rig his car with remote operated explosives and detonate from a distance on a day of your choosing.

look up some stuff on employment law so you know your boundaries, and what he can and cant do

then when you do ertain things that really piss him off and he threatens to discipline/sack you, say sorry sir you arent entitled to do that without engaging in formal company procedure etc

if he does you can take him to town, raise grievance, get payout of monies

as well as that you could wait until he really needs you or as many staff as possible and resign immediately

Do your job well and he should have no reason to duck with you. If you're some faggot slacker in a dead end job that thinks it's everyone's fault but yours that you're no more successful, I doubt your boss is actually an asshole, you probably just think that Because he has the audacity to hold you accountable to your job description.

If you do you job effectively and efficiently as is required and he is giving you a hard time, go file a complaint with HR. Those fucking treehuggers can make any employee miserable regardless of status.

Random capital B in because. You really do give meaning to this board.
>If you do you job effectively
>me monkey
>me put cock in hole

Manager here, no manager is going to fuck with you if you're doing your job correctly. That's less work the he has to do.

>Manager here, no manager is going to fuck with you if you're doing your job correctly. That's less work the he has to do.

Sounds like something a manager that whats to fuck with me would say

Sign him up with his work email to as many mailing lists as you can.
>be me, 26
>engineer at tech company
>dickhead manager keeps throwing me under the bus for his mistakes
>consider subtle ways to ruin his productivity
>staplerinjello.jpg
>spend an afternoon signing him up for over 500 mailing lists
>from porn to prom dresses
>manager is pissed next day
>his boss makes him wipe his machine and do virus search
>problem still continues to this day
>1+ year support ticket in, small team dedicated to getting him off mailing lists
>adding him to new ones every week

We’re friends now and he confided in me that he’s really insecure about his job, lots of personal problems bla bla bla. Still getting spammed on his work account.

Take out all the black ink from his pens and replace it with red ink

How is it to be a cock sucking puppet ? Does the dick of your boss taste good ? Do you let him piss inside your ass too once he's dropped all the cum ?

Aw fuck, it would have been a valid argument but there was a typo, completely nullifying it.

Using something as insignificant as typos as an excuse to not formulate an actual argument, why you have a promising career at CNN ma'am. Keep up the good work!

Take his coffe mug with you to the barthroom and stuck your dick in it, not even pee or anything, just whip out your dick and start smearing that shit all over his shitty coffe mug, then just casually put it back, no witness no nonsesnse, only dick justice

Exactly the point. OP spends his time at work getting paid to browse Sup Forums and thinks he's being picked on.

Piss in his pee hole. Be sure to wear a mask

Damage controlling this hard

>dick justice

I thinkbthe is an adult problem though. How does your dick change anything?

>fuck my work life is miserable but I wiped my dick on his coffee mug 6 months ago so I'm on cloud fukken 9 brah

>projecting this hard

It didn't nullify what you said at all. It pointed out monkey mistakes, the kind of mistakes that someone backing up a managerial point-of-view wouldn't have in the first place.

You are boosted, though, so I can understand your frustration.

Who got dem 9s?

shit in his toilet and don't flush

>(you)ing this hard

these will work

>take the ball out of his mouse so it will not work and he won't know why

>use incognito mode to sign his email address up for all kinds of gay porn (if he's straight) or straight porn (if he's a faggot) sites

>sign him up for 10 business-class subscriptions to the wall street journal home delivery billed to him of course

>when he goes to the bathroom, turn the lights off on him

>every day get to work early, loosen the screws on his chair a little bit each day, eventually it will fall apart when he sits in it

>go to his office/cubicle and when you leave, make sure you leave as someone else is walking by, and mutter under your breath "why in the world he thinks i like horse porn is beyond me" and then act shocked when the passerby hears you

>file for a restraining order insisting that he cannot come within 500 feet of you - he will get fired because your employer cannot forcefully violate a restraining order

>stand up in a meeting with him and yell "Dammit Danny you are a poopoo head!" then sit back down like nothing happened. he will cry. trust me.

So, what you're saying is managers don't make typos. Physical impossibility. Is what you're implying. You're either a monkey or a manager, with incidental typos being the dividing line.

Sounds legit tbh

I love you lmfao

Best idea by far, easy to do as well.

>take the ball out of his mouse

Do they work at IBM in 1992?

Man up or resign you pussy.

What I do is a take everything literally and act like I don't understand sarcasm it pisses my boss off

scott what are you doing on Sup Forums?

um, hello, who DOESN'T work at IBM in 1992??

OP here. The guy is the president of the company, and is a pompous tag. He's running the company into the ground

To be fair, it took me about 8 hours after work to do this.
>Key statement: after work
If OP is some lazy fuck and you’re manager is a prick because you make his life harder then you deserve to be treated like the neackbeard you are. If not, dedicate a Sunday afternoon to doing this.

It seems to be an impossibility for you at least. You should've been on Paddock's list.

My are manager is a prick?

....what?

Wait, what? Post his email in threads on here you idiot.
>watchtheworldburn.jpg

Sorry, multi-tasking

Poorly.

Damn, that's edgy. I bet your mlp plushies cower when you enter the room.

Put one of your turds under his car door handle

It's not edgy, it's true. You even used an acronym for it, in lower-case too. I pray you're in the next massacre.