How do?
How do I become a burglar? I've been shoplifting for the last ten years and have never been caught. I want the rush of stealing from some rich old cunts own houses now. If pic related happens then that's an added bonus, but is there a guide on how to commit burglary?
Step 1
Steal
Step 2
Don't get caught
Is he robbing her virginity?
Yes. Because she is definitely a virgin.
You don't.
yes, but he took precautions to not have his hand stinking like piss, rotten fish, periodblood, acid sweat
You do realize that this scene only happens in pornos where people are paid to act out these scenes?
I guess it's a good idea to read up on security systems, alarms etc. and how to circumvent them.
Also, legal stuff, should you get caught.
And the legality of a homeowner shooting your thrill-seeking ass.
Another idea could be to read up on dogs and how to fight them off or just befriend them.
And of course you might want to read up on surveillance techniques. Primarily so you can spy on your target in order to figure out where the valuable stuff is but also to spot any attempts to set a trap for you when you inevitably draw the attention of law enforcement.
>been shoplifting
>dreams about burglaring rich houses
It's like you drove the car in this pic, and then wanna drive a Lamborghini
OP you're just a scumbag. I've been shoplifting for a good fucking time now but there is a difference between huge shops and people. In all honestly OP stealing from a fellow man is just pathetic and you're also just fucking retarded for thinking shoplifting is the same as stealing. Have fun getting butt-fucked in prison faggot.
You have to be born that way. Ive been all my life. Not a single regret.
Ohh burglar you say? I thought you ment bulgar. Im a bulgar. Cant help you with that burglar thing. Sry
I only want to steal from cunts who have more than they deserve, like bankers and certain lawyers, and most boomers
These are the sort of suggestions I was looking for
You've watched too much rape porn on mless
This fucking guy thinks burgling houses is like something from mission impossible.
You walk around at night until you find an open window, or something else equally easy. Burglars go to as little effort as they can.
Robberies to very rich people almost always involve a gang of people so you can just bum rush the occupants, tie them up and take your time clearing the place out.
>enter a house
>steal shit
Jesus Christ OP you're terrible at this. Stick to shoplifting.
>how do I get in jail to get my asshole stretched by tyrone?
OK, I'll stick to stealing bikes. WE WUZ KANGZ!!
I would advice against carrying any sort of weaponry. Should you get caught, it would likely get you into a lot of trouble.
If you are concerned about getting shot (not unlikely if you're in USA), you should into lightweight body armour.
No sense in dying for some cheap bric-a-brac.
Also, consider PR.
If you are successful enough you will start making the news.
Aim for high income homes and/or impopular local figures to garner at least some symbolic public support.
There's a reason Robin Hood is a thing after all.
Also, possibly take care to treat homeless people etc. well. They're the likeliest to spot you by accident and would be a bit hesitant to rat you out if you're the guy who gives them a source of income.
Might want to consider spreading out your area of operation too.
Hitting the same neighbourhood again and again will reveal your patterns sooner than might be necessary (it is unavoidable in the long run, of course).
Oh yeah, don't underestimate the cops.
The beat cops can kill you with impunity and the investigators have good training and brains to flush you out.
And don't do anything while on any drug.
I don't do alot of fucking but thanks for the vote of confidence.
Jokes aside, I got the impression that OP wanted to operate solo.
Literal retard.
>durr, nobody dun bought product to put on the shelf at the store, it's perfectly fine to steal that
With repetition and time, that drives prices up for the rest us who decide to not break the fucking law. Go be a nig-nog elsewhere
>be me
>burglaring house, chosen because its value is at least $500k, dude should be a rich one
>shitty large tv-set could be sold for $50, nope
>2-3 years old Macbook with scratches, nope
>5$ wall clock
>20$ ikea lamp
>shitty dishes in the kitchen
>a somewhat wrecked chair
>pathetic romance novels, his gf apparently lives here
>rusty washing machine
>drawers and wardrobe only contain shit
no money
no almost-new expensive gadgets
no jewels and shit
no secret stash
>eventually find an usb harddrive hidden in a bizarre spot
>stole it and run away leaving everything in a mess
>expected to find out industrial secret projects
>only found 1.3 terabytes of gay porn
what.
the.
actual.
fuck.
OP, a couple of these anons have the right idea. I'm thinking you eat to be a real burglar, not some jacked up street rat.
Learn the schematics and weaknesses of the alarm systems out there, they're public knowledge. You'll need that info to bypass them. Learn what treats you should use on guard dogs so you don't get mauled. Never carry a knife or gun with you. An easily concealed teaser works well, along with zip ties. Kept together in case you have to run and ditch them. The clothes you wear and shoes you wear should never be the same ones you wear day in and day out. These should be special use only, and kept off your property. Always wear gloves. Always keep your hair short, and under a cap when on the job. Plan, plan and plan. Know your routes to and from the house, along with alternate routes. Never go in a house with occupants at home, the charges get worse if you're caught. (But if you do, that's why you have the other two items) but I would advise against that. HAVE A FENCE. Someone you can trust to sell your shit to who won't roll on you if they're caught. When you fence, you will get, maximum, half value, but it's usually less. Go out of town to do most of your jobs. When out of town, know your way around by foot and car. Never break the first rule of b&e, if you have people help you, only have one, because you'll know who it was who blabbed if the cops show up. Always have a valid reason to be in the town you're in. Buy a movie ticket, go out to eat using a card of some sort. Any job you do should be half hour max. Get in, get the shit, get out. Any longer and you risk exposure. Use blue filtered, low lumen flashlights. Never ever turn a light on that wasn't on before. Wear gloves. Nylon or rubber gloves, under tight fit leather, add light padding to tips. Your entire robbery wardrobe should be disposable, meaning you should never wear those clothes and shoes except while doing a job.
A shoplifter and a burglar are two different kind of thieves. Kind of like the difference between a grifter and a thug, completely different skill sets. If you want to become a thief, and not mentored into it, do it legally. Learn to be a stock broker, real estate guy, banker, salesman, politicain... they are legal thieves, the legit versions of grifters.
Blackmail him
Butthurt socialist spotted.