Gather up /b this is one of the best shit you will read everything is true and has happened in my shitty life
>be me
>19 year old fat virgin faglord
>live with parents
>play games all day
>parent thinks im some fucking nerd
>tfw dont know anything about computers except basic stuff
>have this 200 kg neighbor lets call her Sara
>really fucking hate her
>sara always comes and ask for food that i have planted
>onions paprika tomatoes etc
>i go say pick them up yourself i have a lot of veggies
>sara always does
>one day
>it rained for some time
>sara comes she is too lazy to go to the market to buy food or doesn't have money
>user can i get some veggies i need it
>tfw mud everywhere
>yard always gets flooded even when there is a small ammount of rain
>whole yard is like a swamp atm
>sara comes
>user can you pick up some veggies
>ugh i cant im reinstalling my pc pick them up yourself
>this gonna be good
>sara goes on a jorney
Continued
Gather up /b this is one of the best shit you will read everything is true and has happened in my shitty life
Go on...
>the path to the veggies lies in front
>she just need to get to them
>i slowly watch her trying to get courage
>she takes the first step
>the 200 kg landwhale steps in the mud
>half of her foot dissappears
>she takes another one
>ohgod.jpg
>she is slowly falling
>she wont give up
>free veggies she must feed her fat ass
>sara moves 5 more steps
>she has given up
>gets back to dry land with tears
>suddenly i think of an idea
>get outside
>hey sara there are some planks there use them
>but user can't you get them
>im busy sara do it yourself
>sadface.jpg
>she grabs the planks
>lays them on the mud
>moment of courage
>she steps on one
>mfw it didn't break
>oh god
>she took another 10 steps
>no planks are broken
>strong ass planks
>veggies are 5 meters from her
>only 4 planks left
>begging to god that one breaks
>she takes another step
>plank doesnt break
Continued
>another step
>still nothing
>give my hope up
>she finnaly gets her fat ass to the veggies
>sara is all sweaty
>sun arises
>she is picking veggies like crazy
>sun shines upon her fat lard face
>she has picked around 10 kg of veggies
>time to head back
>she steps on the first plank on her way back
>nothing happens
>few more steps
>ohshit.jpg
>this gonna be good
>she stands still with a worried face
>below her is 10 cm of water and mud
>she stands still for a min
>mf plank brakes
>watch her as she throws away my veggies in the mud
>she falls gracefully
>her feet hit the water
>she sinks
>im dying from laughter
>she is worried
>she is slowly sinking in the mud
>she calls for help
>i pretend not to hear her
>she tries to reach her phone
>she pulls it out after a few min
>tfw it doesnt work
>mfw i have a 200 kg landwhale dying in ny backyard
>she screams for another 5 minutes
>i finnaly go out
>see her glorius fat face
>user please help
Continued
Sexually attack and destroy her, user! Holy fuck user! Pull down your fucking pants and insert your hard ass cock! Your hard ass COCK! COOOOOOCCCCCCCCKKKKKK OH MY GODDDDDDDDD user FUCKING GO INSANE! Get fucking stoned OUT OF YOUR MIND ON... WEED! Smoke weed every day you ninny! You fucking ninny muggins!
Satanic manic bubanic
>mfw i have no idea how to help
>she is stuck in the mud until her waist
>she is too fat to be pulled out with a rope
>nvm I'll try it
>get my rope that i planned to hang myself with
>make a noose
>try to get the rope around her waist
>mfw it wont fit around her
>she too fat
>she is still sinking
>call fire department and ER
>tell that my neighbour got stuck in mud
>they are like wtf
>they will be here in 10 minutes
>i put planks around her and tell her to support on them so she doesnt sink
>she is hanging on the planks
>one of the planks breaks
>i try not to laugh
>she is sinking even more
>finnaly er and fire department come
>the looks on their faces i will never forget
>they are holding themselves not to laugh
>one goes to his van and laughs for hours
>fireman comes and tells me that they will have to use a crane to pick her up
>there is no way to pull her out of the mud
>firefighters start pumping out the water
>sara is yelling like an idiot
>crane will arrive in 30 minutes
>they have to keep her alive until then
>20 minutes pass
>she has sunk to her chest
>she is flapping with her fat arms majestically
>water is almost pumped out
>she is crying
>doctors have no idea how to help
>one of the firemen tells to prepare a hose
>i dont know why but ill do it
>offer them drinks and snack until crane arrives
Continued nice hell trips im going to hell
>the time has come
>crane arrived
>the crane operator comes out
>holyshit.jpg
>he cant stop laughing
>sara is pissed
>crane operator finnaly gets the ropes
>he is tying ropes on the crane
>this is it
>CraneVsSara
>they tie her around her torso and below her armpits
>she is wobbling around with her arms graciously
>they add another rope that she can hold on to
>time to see whales fly
>the crane slowly lifts her up
>pulls her out to the waist
>one of the pneumatic cables on the crane snaps
>i went home to die laughing
>laugh for about 4 min out of breath
>They ducktaped it
>round 2
>now crane lifts her up
>she is slowly getting out
>she has mud on her tits
>15 min pass
>she is finnaly out of the mud
>she hangs majestically in the air
>bellow lies a 1.5x1.5 hole
>crane moves her out of the mud
>user prepare the hose
>oh god
>give the hose to the firemen
>they spray her with it to remove the mad
>she is yelling and crying
>no one gives a shit
>she falls down
>oh fuck
>takes 8 of us to pick her up and put her on the mobile bed
>took all my hillbilly strength to put her on that
>now the real challenge begins
>we have to push her to the ambulance
>ambulance is parked uphill
>fuck
>we try to move it it wont budge
>sara is passed out
>think of an idea
>get my car and tie a rope to on my hook and the bed
>go uphill slowly
>car somehow moved with her fat ass
>finnaly get her uphill
>now we have to put her in the ambulance
>medic team is treating her
>she has hypothermia from staying in the mud for too long
>again we all gather around and lift the bed
>bitch too fat
>i used god strength to pick up that thing
>she is finnaly in the ambulance
>they drive off to the hospital
>i treat the firemen and crane op to some coffee
>tell them the story
>they all laugh like crazy
>Few days later she is out of the hospital
I ask her if she ok
Continued
>weeks past
>still remember it as yesterday
>top kek
>she call me at her place
>i see her fatass son
>he is litteraly as fat as he is high
>he is only 8 years old
>her usual genetics shit to prove that her son is justified fat
>anyway i need to fix her laptop
>open it
>laptop is litteraly the most disgusting thing i have ever seen
>mising keys
>mold on it
>rat shit
>i clean it somehow
>took me around 3 hours and lots of alcohol
>boot it up
>wtf
>pornads everywhere
>like litteraly more porn ads than there is porn in the world
>somehow manage to open google
>check history
>big titties
>my little pony porn
>gay porn
>i have no idea what kind of porn it is
>fuck this shit
>ill just reinstall windows
>finnaly done
>thanks user
>np sara that would be 20$
>2 weeks pass
>she calls me
>user my laptop isnt working
>ill come right away
>user the internet doesnt work i dont know why
>tfw i just need to restart the router
>keep messing around with cables
>3 hours pass
>i tell her that a cable needs to be replaced
>jew mode on
>go home get a new cable
>replace it
>you wont be needing this it doesn't work ill throw it away
>she had a really nice cable
>restarted router
>it works
>she pays me again
>mfw ill be rich
>mfw new good cable
>1 week passes
>my sisters bday
>home celebration
>she calls her son at the party
>i go out to buy drinks
>have been playing assassins creed
>took me months to get there
>i get home
Continued
Cool story, inb4 everybody walk the dinosaur
>see her son sitting on my pc
>sara mentioned that she caught him masturbating with his cousin few days ago
>he is playing assassins creed
>i had 90% sync
>he started a new game on my save
>i wanted to kill that mf
>he also downloaded shit ton of viruses
>little bitch infected my pc
>have countless data on it
>i have to reinstall windows and delete all my hard drives
>i try to not kill him
>finnaly calm down
>its revenge time
>im gonna ruin his life
>think of thousands of plans
>nothing good enough
>finnaly his mom calls me to fix his laptop
>it is always for fixing because he is clicking on the porn ads
>i got it
>get there
>typical yelling at him
>reinstall windows
>call him fat fuck every 2 minutes
>he is my slave now
>he has no idea whats comming
>finnaly open chrome
>he is waiting for me to finish so he could watch porn
>yeah right
>im gonna perish what you valued most in life
>you might be smart fat fuck but not enough
>open chrome settings
>set up the porn filther to strict
>try opening pornhub and other not so knowns sites
>it wont let me
>aww yiss
>Try searching for hentai
>no results
>im all done sara
>what do i need to pay?
>nothing this one is free
>she thanks me
>I leave with the biggest smile on my face
>i have ruined her childs life
>never get a phonecall about fixing her laptop ever again
Thats it anons hope you enjoyed it
8/10 good story user.
Fake and gay, whales don't eat vegetables
self bump
...
BOO LAME ENDING
I DEMAND FECES AND POCKET SPAGHETTI
Op here i wrote this for 2 hours
You better bump this shit
That was the most anti-climatic ending I have ever read, I thought you were gonna sink the kid in mud like how his mom got stuck.
You should have planted the kid it would have been good for your garden
Twas a nice story op. A bump and my favorite inspirobot image for you
Fuck her
>Fuck her
Yeah tear up her shit pipe, boombadoop!
I dont think my penis will ever reach her pussy
Can someone screen cap
Please guys bump or dead thread