Halp Sup Forums

Halp Sup Forums

Been with girl for 10 years
Engaged to get married
She keeps getting fatter and fatter
Puts me off literally everytime i look at her.

Told her last night that im not marrying her if shes fat.
Had an argument.
She admitted shes fat but her solution is bikram yoga once a week.

I said its going to take regular exercise and diet changes.

Im wrong etc.

Know deep down shes going to at best maintain her scrambled egg physique.

What do i do. Have a mortgage together and shit. Lot of effort to seperate at this point.

If the fat thing is a problem, don't commit your life to it. Maybe it hurts financially for a couple years, but it's better than paying alimony later on.

She will lose weight then plump up after the wedding. Base marriage on more than emotions. You're investing in a person, not your feels.

how much do you love her and how badly do you feel about her weight?

So with the threat of not marrying, she still wont give it a real attempt?

That really sets the scene for how the marriage would be.


Heres a rockin bod to distract you from hers.

Whatever advise you might follow, you made the right choice to seek help here on Sup Forums

I know there's potential as shes a pretty girl but she just gets good at being fat if you know what i mean. Like takes photos from the right angles etc.

She works in an office and theyre all fat and bring cakes to work etc.

If she stays as she is now i would 100% divorce down the line im already looking for a new partner.

Im a pretty funny well off guy and i know a new gal will come without too much work.

a person that is not willing to take care of themselves is not worthy of anyone else´s love

Even if she lost weight for the wedding i still feel like its pretty inconsiderate to me that she'll do it for a day but not oir general day to day life and happiness.

Im a really active guy surf almost every day etc and i dont want to take her anywhere or do anything with her and it feels horrible

have you told her that though?
How open was your discussion on the topic?

Love her lots we get along great and have many similar interests etc.

The weight bothers me a lot. We've had sex probably 3 times in 4 months i just dont want any of that hey.

> not married yet
> mortgage together

u fucked up.

In the meantime- find an active activity that you can do together, like pick up an exercise hobby. That way you can hold her accountable if possible.

She's not going to make the diet changes, bruv. I skimmed thru two seasons of Fat Girl Dancing and that blimp didn't lose a pound. Stretching once a week ain't gonna help your gf one bit.

So dump the bitch and find what you are really after. Marriage isn't a legal requirement. You can't trust her to not be a medical liability, and she obviously loves cake more than her body.

>Have a mortgage together and shit

You were stupid enough to do that without even being married. You get no sympathy.

Yeah shes a stereotypical woman whos been brainwashed into the whole should love me for who i am no matter what.

If she got down to a weight like that shed be banging but her skins probably stretched by now

Hahahaha

Fair point

Self care is a psychological factor. Part of personality

Yeah told her that.

Told her pretty much everything

Its hard because if i go walking (with my pooch every day ) she gets left behind and i cant walk slow nor see the point in walking so slow as to not exercise.

If i have a go at her to pick up the pace or push herself she'll just not come again and build walls.

I mean like real exercise, not going for a walk. Wait a second- how fat are you?
Is the pot calling the kettle black?

Shut the fuck up and ditch the woman. It is clear that she is not what you want. What is left to argue but your emotions which are changeable? Sound like you're defending something you hate in hopes of keeping yourself in misery.

Im fit and healthy.

>mortgage together
There it is. She thinks you're trapped, so she doesn't have to do anything to keep you. And guess what? If you've been living together long enough, you could be already hitched.

I am too, we should get married

She has the potential to be perfect.

But ive tried and failed to convince her that she needs to get healthy.

Im asking does anyone have advice on convincing a girl to start regular exercise or do i walk away

try to get her to do some excercise regularly, if it does not work out, guess you will have to make a really hard decision. I dont think its about being superficial, it goes deeper than that. If she is not willing to take care of herself, might it be she expects you to do it for her? That would be a terrible starting point for a marriage imo.
If you really laid your cards openly and she refuses to do something about it, guess it is settled. You could also resort to doing something she does not like to passively encourage her to change her ways as to you ceasing that new activity that bothers her, its petty and stupid, but you might have to stoop low to get to where you want to be.
We demand OP to post a faceless pic of his body as to prove he is not a fatass

You still have to sign papers. Common law isn't just blind and automatic.

A/s/l

Also when i say i walk the dog thats for the dog not me. Just tried to get her to come to get her doing anything

That would be like convincing Donald Trump to resign. Not going to happen.

36m northwest (staying anonymoose)

I have had that issue with my partner in the past.
I kinda solved it by encouraging her to do some excercise and actually doing something she likes everytime she excercises (in my case using hair growth stuff as she does not want me to go bald). Its a quid pro quo, I dont want her to get fat, she does not want me to go bald.
I also encourage her by being fit and losing weight myself, she sees the results and I think she might somewhat feel insecure about herself, which helps her motivate herself to get her ass in gear

k so find an athletic hobby you guys can do together, biking, rock climbing, kickboxing, crossfit- whatever, it doesn't matter, just find something.

If you're a richfag, women seem to love orange theory fitness. You've gotta find something that either you do together or something that can be gamified so she's motivated. Orange theory does that and gives you a "score" or something at the end of the workout based on your heart rate and how many calories you burned.

I feed my woman well but I also get her to go out and get fit because the nicest places in the NW require hiking. She wants it bad enough to stay fit, and she can pack down the carbs without bloating into a landwhale.

Tried to get her to do various things with no success. Bought her a bike.
This year i competed i a desert race on a motorbike and was training every day for months and couldnt get her to join me a single time.

Does she like to read?

I'm in fine shape but fucking hate working out. I ride my bike on local trails every morning for an hour to maintain, it's all I'm willing to do. I love to swim which is excellent exercise but don't want any memberships and so don't have access to a pool.

For years I was getting a belly during the winter, because I can't ride the trails in 2 feet of snow. I bought a recumbent bike, it solved everything. I love to read and I can do the bike and read at the same time, totally takes the bike out of my head when it's in a book.

If your chunky lover likes a good book, she can sweat it up on a recumbent and lose herself in a book. I set out to do 45mins on the recumbent (can set it to a constant resistance that is more of a workout than the trails, where I can coast at times) and a few times did closer to 90min because I'm so engrossed in the book and after a while I'm just pump g my legs subconciously.

Reward her for doing healthy things and say you dont want to commit to anything long term since you fear for her safety in case she gets too big. Best of luck pal.

It sounds like an extremely difficult case
Talk about it again in a few days, once she has had time to think about the topic and the consequences of her lifestyle choices

If you surf every day you've already narrowed it considerably.

you could also go the jealous route.

My personal rec, start doing a combat sport such as bjj or muay thai, get really fit, make sure you also take care of your appearance, regular grooming, dressing well, etc. Start hanging out with girls from said hobbies that you pick up in order to be fit, or women you work with. It's super easy if you are vocal about having a gf, since women let their guard down and see that you're just being friendly and not creepy.

Your fiance will notice that you're getting more female attention and feel threatened by it- thus working harder to be with you.

I regularly have girls stare at me or check me out in public, just from being athletic, dressing well, and not being ugly. My gf notices. And she works harder to make sure she's the center of my attention. You've allowed her to get comfortable. Don't do that.

If she's happy with being fat...idk what else you can do.

Its kinda cruel, but I guess it works, so I cant really argue against that line of reasoning

She used to walk on a tredmil and watch stuff on her tablet but she stopped for some reason and i cant get her started again.

Good advice though. I ride my motorbike every sat to get take away breakfast and sit by a creek and read its my favourite thing.

I do try and i will try harder.
I appreciate all your advice.

For anyone interested i put her weight and height into a bmi calc and shes 29.6. Overweight. 30.0 is obesity and she would need to be 76kg. Shes currently 73kg. I made her jump on the scale last night.

I sugguest work out with her and do excersises together :)

tbh if you have to play these games to get her to be attractive, the relationship is not worth the work you'll put into.

Was she always fat? Cause if she was then maybe you've fallen out of love with her or realized things about her that just don't quite line up with the way you see yourself or your future

I'm not condoning the lack of will power and unhealthy habits on her part but really review all the facts girls don't become fat overnight unless you're Carmella Bing but I digress Are there other things she does that you don't like but the fat thing is the easiest target no pun intended?

I feel like if you love someone even though they've gained some weight you still wanna fuck the shit out of them every single day so it doesn't sound like the weight is an independent factor

If it truly is that she just randomly decided to eat cake and be merry but every other facet of her life is perfect for you then you truly as another poster said have a very hard decision to make

Sexual attraction and physical desire is a very important part of relationships I never got this BS about its what's inside yeah okay what's inside is important but you gotta make my dick a little wet else what's the point. You're gonna either fat shame her and destroy her mentally and/or cheat on her and pull yourself down with it

Maybe its time to take the heat and the fallout and the messy split before it really takes you down a road you can't come back from
go see a professional preferably someone who's not heard of Sup Forums have a couple sessions so you know you tried to talk it out with a 3rd party

bmi is not as reliable a measurement
how much body fat % does she carry around?

Last night she said shes not going to be one of those girls that goes to the gym every day etc.

I said doesnt have to be gym.

I think if i could get her to just do it for a week and see real results she'd be more open to continuing and i could step back

just don't marry her, just stay with her and dump her at some random point of the curve.

I've seen this work and backfire

If the will power is already so low in this girl's mind and then she start's comparing herself to presumably much fitter and hotter girls that he has contact she will try initially but then when she doesn't see immediate results she could relapse and get even worse and now she will have a conduit to blame OP

Really appreciate all the comments so far is definitely helping.

I think today ill say to her that ill do everything i can to help her exercise etc. Can take my hand now and comitt to a life of being fit and healthy or ill be going seperate ways within the week.

Sounds good. Make sure to stick with it and don't puss out at last moment

People who don't know shit about weight loss that keep talking about fucking exercise.

In all practical terms exercise doesn't do jack shit for weight loss compared changing your diet. Yes it raises your metabolism and burns calories but here is why in the real world it rarely ever does anything and in fact often times causes even worse rebounds:

1. It INCREASES your demand for food and energy. Working out and raising your metabolism actually makes you hungrier. So if you are a fat fuck and think doing some bullshit exercises a few times a week without changing your diet significantly is going make you thinner sorry. If anything you're just increasing your drive for more shit food and since you haven't applied any discipline in that area nothing is going to happen and even worse you're likely to eat even more bullshit.

2. Burning a significant amount of calories takes a fuck ton of time and effort. 90% of people "working out" who use some sort of exercise calorie calculator to tell them that "doing X for Y minutes = 500 calories burned" are full of shit because most people don't perform the exercises properly, at full intensity and for the full length of time.


The number 1 thing is diet, period. A person who does absolutely NOTHING except change their diet will blow the doors off someone who exercises 7 days a week but still eats like shit and it isn't even close.

Here is the super simple time proven method to drop body weight. You don't have to put any more thought into it than this but you can get more complicated if you want.

1. Cut your calories by 500 versus your maintenance calorie number (look it up), 700 calories if you are really a fat fuck.

2. Reduce your sugar intake as much as possible. Start slow if you are fat fuck who sucks down 10 Sunkists a day because sugar is a god damn drug and just cutting cold turkey will have weak willed fucks relapsing.

> I think today ill say to her that ill do everything i can to help her exercise etc.

Exercise isn't going to do shit. She's eating too much shit, period. Have fun wasting your time until you get her diet under control.

If she works at a place with a bunch of other fat fucks snaking on cakes and brownies all the time and she is weak willed then you're pretty much doomed and it isn't going to matter how much she works out.

Exercise is to tone the body not drop the weight

fucking this!

forcefeed her until she pukes
do this for a few months
then either make delicacies out of her or make her think about her past mistakes ur call

>Had an argument.
STAPH

This guy is 100% right, your bitch is fat cuz she eats like a dumpster. She needs to go a caloric restricted no carbs no sugar diet asap. Get her to go ketogenic.

>ketogenic
get out /fit/

if you arent fit then theres no reason for her to be

dude i have a friendly like this, what they started doing is making sure they limited all the food shopping and insisted on making dinner the majority of the time. They then began giving their partner less and less food until they were eating 1/3 less and they didn't realise and soon enough (1 month) they were losing weight and eating less naturally. This kind of thing needs intervention and pretend to go along with it, like 'I'm worried about my health and I'm giving up candy/soda/type of food - it's cheaper to cook for two so will you go along with it'

seconded

Damn that saturday routine sounds amazing.
Last Valentine's my fiance and I biked to get fast food and Subway, then ate it in a park and biked home to watch movies. Good shit, maybe picnic-bike with her? Pack healthier stuff tho don't get fast food like we did.

Tell her she is a fucking idiot.

Exercise, yoga and other magical shit does NOT fix weight.
The only thing that fixes weight is DIET. PERIOD.
It takes double digit miles to burn off a fucking muffin. Exercising yourself thin is a fucking meme that gyms use to get gullible suckers to join up.

Tell her to eat less in general.
Tell her to eat more greens. Spinach, lettuce, shit like that makes for a great filler in salads, grate some nice strong cheese on it finely, have that with fish or white meat, an egg, and some diced veggies in a bowl. Done.

I agree and i cook 99 percent pf the time. Normally chicken and sald and keep portions small etc.

But shes stuffing her face when im not around i know it.

Exercise doesn't help much for weight loss. She'll probably just eat more because she'll feel like she's earned it and gain more. Diet is the only solution. She needs to restrict her caloric intake. Thats the ONLY way to lose weight and if you disagree chances are you're fat. Once she's down at a manageable weight, then she can start exercising as long as she keeps the diet up but activity does nothing for weight loss, it only helps after the weight loss.

Probably.
I've known people like it.
It takes literal severe illness to change their minds. Sometimes even that doesn't!

My Uncle has diabetes. Itw as so bad both his ankles developed ulcers that eroded his FLESH in to a gaping hole in both of them. At one point it was so bad there was a clear hole through one of his ankles.
Mother is a fat cunt. She keeps thinking her "diets" and diet food is working, said diet food being shitty ready-meals and an apple. SO HEALTHY
My cousin is as fat as his dad, said dad had a heart attack. Only a matter of time it will catch up with him. His diet is piss-poor, probably worse actually.
His mother literally had a stroke 2 weeks ago for not taking her diabetes meds or taking care of her diet in general, smoking like a chimney.
Family of fucking retards. No wonder they are all ill. They'll likely die before my nearly-90 grandfather who only just got released from hospital last week from a urinary tract infection.

Humans simply eat way too much.
Our heavy diet was only applicable when we were running around hunting animals and foraging.
We can survive EASILY off one meal a day, never mind fucking 3.
I do 2, large breakfast, small dinner. Works great.
Get her doing that actually, large breakfast. protein rich, slow-release carbs, filled for the day.

Fasting and drinking lots of water. It gives you quick results that last as long as you keep doing regular fasts. I'd reccomend just ditching her though, you can't teach somebody to lose weight, they'll just get sidetracked because the true path isn't fun and the "Don't worry about it, eat when you want and just exercise a little" path sounds so easy and so moderate.

Her moms literally obese and blames her weight on her weight caused illnesses.

Dr "your livers bad"
Her "thats why im fat because my liver doesnt work properly "

X1000