You wake up one morning and realize to your horror that you've become Australian

You wake up one morning and realize to your horror that you've become Australian.

What do you do before you kill yourself in shame?

Masturbate furiously because we all know Australians are the best wankers.

Break the NAP with the Emus

>go to hell
>surrounded by "immigrants" in the cities
>mad max in the country
>already there

Tie me kangaroo down, sport.

Go outside, get killed by venomous animals.

I thanks God I'm not longer italian

Would get some vegemite. Always wanted to taste it, but can't find where I live. Seriously, was looking even today at the big grocery shop I just came back from.

you cunts don't even know what its like, I'm true blue fair dinkum born in the bush ay. born with a stockwhip and a fuckin akubra ay.

but seriously, ay.

Got a 5 poster on ya commadore with atleast 2 fish poles on it?

cunt*

realize that most of the country is on fire

Enter the Parliament chamber in Canberra, and VX gas the lot of 'em.

Seriously, 50% of the shit that is noticed internationally, is decided without any community input.

We are literally the 2nd last to know, only before you clowns off shore.

Reset the political population, and we may have a chance.

oy, nah nah but seriously ay yeah mate. nah mate yeah that's what I was talkin about ay nah but yeah at the same time, with nah ay.

Rack a fresh pair of tns and chug a 30 deck of winnie blues

>sigh

Yep, there he is.

Give me a durry you fucking gook cunt

Go roo running in my land cruiser

Why would I kill myself for being Australian?
This is the country that gave us bands like The Saints, Radio Birdman, The Easybeats, The Celibate Rifles, AC/DC, and Rose Tattoo.

Plus they got platypus' and platypus' ROCK!

Go hooning for a while, eat some marmite, smash a few cane toads, then get murdered by the wildlife.

fight a shark while wearing hulk hands.

Fuck off you maggot faggot cunt, I'm proud to be Aussie

Get one of these and go do some skids.

Throw a barbie on a prawn.

Dont bother. It's shit.

Shoot some roos