Tell me something interesting about yourself!

Tell me something interesting about yourself!

I want to fuck OP.

Get in line booooiiiii

We running a train?

My penis smells like goat cheese but taste like ground beef but my cum taste like mashed potatoes. I also like to eat mash potatoes out of a butthole

Depends on where you want to be in it

Yeah okay Bevis

On your cock.

I jerk off for little Russian girls on cam sites.

So you're gonna be the conductor

Who's gonna be the train cars?

Wtf does that mean

This is slightly disturbing

The fact that they're Russian is also oddly specific

What you said sounds like dialog from Beavis and Butthead

Slavic girls are fucking horny sluts. Also I love Fried rice from my local Panda.

>Tell me something interesting about yourself!
Well the thing is I kinda get turned on by women being shot and killed in combat. Just imagining them staggering and whimpering from the pain, slumped against a tree or something, alone in the cold forest in a fierce firefight with blood going all down their legs and hands. Death has always given me a kind of boner ever since I was young, I didn't like watching movies with battles because when people died their death screams would give me a huge erection. I used to dryhump the ground when i was a kid playing "dead" during war games and when i got older and had a sexual awakening I realized I enjoyed thinking about female soldiers getting killed, or executed, imagining them quivering in fear and utterly helpless as their death approaches

The more you know! Who doesn't love fried rice?

That is a bit disturbing tbh, especially the bit about the dry humping...

I've ordered fried rice twice in two days. It's becoming a freaking addiction.

As long as you have other food in your diet and exercise some, you should be fine

Oh well I'm not joking

Neither were they

I get plenty of exercise from my job. Sewer cleaning and tving, Also drain pipe repair and tving. It's brutal in the warmer seasons.

That sounds like some dirty work friend

Does it pay well at least?

Pays every week and good money.

Like how much per hour? Idk if they could pay me any amount of money to do that job tbh

Wanna have lots -o- sex?

Depends. How good are you?

Lol prefer to keep that a secret.

Why? I make $20/hr

Doing what?

Pretty good and very pleasing

Car insurance claims

Not the most glorious of jobs, but it pays the bills and I live in a very expensive part of SoCal

Hmmm.... Perhaps.

Ded thread, ded life

I'M HOME, SWEETY. GIVE PAPA SOME SUGAR.

[that one scene from the Shining with the woman screaming]

Whelp, guess I'll just come back later

The cringe is too strong

...

i sell propain and propain related injuriys

Do you hit people with propane tanks or use the propane to light them on fire?

I'm staying up to late a drinking to much. You remember me?

I am a nihilist
Not so interesting, huh?

nigga wat

Your sweet booty for one.

My gf make me cum in her mother heels sometimes

just your scent :/

I fucked my cousin when I was 4.

Sorry I reck of booze all the time :(

I'm tring to cut back, really I am.

Hmm, Im interested to here that story

Post greentext?

Sorry got caught up playing Soul Calibur V with a friend

I do indeed, welcome back

Nigga huh?

O-oh jeez

Mother heels?

How does one even do this?

No u tell me something interesting about yourself

I ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE, BUDDY.

People still play that game?

What is your favorite alcohol?

It's one of my favorite games! I have Natsu as my wallpaper :3

I'd have to go with spiced rum for my favorite alcohol. Cheers btw, drinking as well

Don't you think cum on her mother's heels is interesting. Lol

Oh you mean like you're cumming on her shoes? Nigga what the fuck why

I lost my virginity at the age of 6

I'm fluent in 2 languages
I'm learning russian and piano as a hobby not sure if interesting enuff tbh
Wbu

It's not a bad game.

Spiced Rum huh, Kraken or Captain?

I'm a useless fuck who could make something of himself if he tried, but instead masturbates, plays video games, binge eats, and sleep deprives himself on Sup Forums every night. Too much of a coward to an hero

You still slayin' that pussy today?

Which languages? I play drums, learning to play the bass actually because of lack of space/people being willing to tolerate the noise

Kraken all the way baby

All you need is a bit of motivation! What are you passionate about?

Sex friend?

Why not! It's hot thinking about her feet wearing my dried cum

No, I don't have any sex friends

Don't you think she might notice eventually?

Music, and that's it. But playing an instrument is boring as hell to me, so I'm just cursed i guess. Maybe someday i'll just drive out somewhere and drink a Brompton cocktail, go peacefully. Not for a while though. Maybe there's something salvageable here.

Doubt it though.

It actually ignited my perversion before the beginning of puberty, so i had more sex as a child (hey guess what I found out wanna try) than I have recently (senior), but I do have someone almost begging to hop my johnson so theres that

Want one?

I work as a gay escort.

I hope she will notice it someday soon, what she can do about it? Will she ask me (or her daughter) gently if i came in/on her shoes?

> Live in a trailer with parents and brother
>Cousins come over one 8 other is same age as me
>We start playing in me and Bros room
>Nothing weird at 1st
> Then older cousin suggest we pair up
>She gets with bro I get with other
>They didn't do anything
>However they talk me and other cus into fuckn
>Cus that's same age as me is fat like not this but fat
>Me and cus both naked
Noshame.jpg
> I bend her over on the bed
>I take my small peepee and play with her butthole
Feelstingly.gif
>Get tip in and move for about 30 sec
>My mom walks in with pizza rolls
> Say hey Mom and continue "playing"
> My mom flips shit
> Makes me call cousins mom and tell her what I did.
>While balling my eyes out I say I fucked your daughter
>I got blamed for it all even tho I told them everything
> I don't like fat bitches to this day
>Was haunted by what I did for years by being ridiculed by my older bro

I was born without an immune system

To clarify on how they talked me into it. When I was a kid I literally didn't care I did just about anything w/o a second. Also trusted bro and older cousin alot.

Well now I know what get you when we ever meet up.

Of course there's something there! You have a lot of free time, get good at your instrument

Well hey, that doesn't sound too bad tbh

I mean, I wouldn't say no?

Do you enjoy it?

Yeah, I suppose that would be a bit awkward...

That's not really sex then, whew. I began to think there was some kinda strange shit

ARE YOU A BUBBLE BOY????

Alcohol is the quickest way to my.... heart

It's also a quick way to other things too!

N-nani?!??!

Then get over here, there's some holes that need attending to.

i shitpost

We did the same thing with her underwears and bras, she have a large breast and i think my gf wanna secretly fuck her mom, i know for sure that she is bisex, i think there's a probability

I was referring to health and mental issues.

What where you thinking?

Nope, but i get injections every week that keep me alive

Where is "here"?

Oh my gosh no way, so do I!!!!!!

3some maybe potentially?

Oh... well yeah, it's definitely a way to that as well I guess

Are they like...bad or expensive or anything?

Do you want the D?

(You want the D)

Her family is so fucking conservative, she can't tell her family she is bi, they'll freak out, i wonder how beautiful will be

I would not mind the D

Sunny D! A balanced part of this nutritious breakfast!

Ha ha! You play the innocent card well.

Come to Utah and I'll show you "here".

I'm getting bored if technology and have picked up writing. And drawing. I'm not very good and it's pissing me off because with tech, it's a simple matter of fucking with it until you know why it does what it does, and how to alters it's outcomes. With art of any form, it takes inherent talent of which I am seemingly lacking.

I spent nine years writing a 4400 page space opera

You've been playing go fish and I've been playing poker for years

Have you tried getting some critique of your work? Lord knows there's plenty of that on the internet

And? How did it go?

If i was an americunt itd be costing me 20k a month, but im not so thats good

>Critique
Nah not really. I'd probably just end up burning them or tossing them if I entertained that idea for too long. I'm not a confident person. Which is why I post my stuff here.

I'm 22 and have no job and no car but i have a girlfriend

No job or car but managed to rope in a woman. Is she ugly as sin? Or a QT?

I'm 25 with a new car already paid off, a job making $61k per year, and I'm still a virgin living with my folks and spending too much money in anime.

Drinking any more? how much can you handle?

She have a cute face nothing special, with big ass but very small waistline and small tits, she does anal so the big ass is useful

Oh you lucky fuck

You a limey or some Euro?

Good for you! Is she older or younger?

Quiiiiite a lot. I am a drinker

I'm an epileptic that recently had surgery and am fighting like hell to get my life back together

Younger, she's 18

No im an Aussie

They have surgery for epilepsy?

THAT explains it!

Oh so a limey reject! Nice