BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!...

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

That's the sound of a robber kicking down your door.

How will you defend yourself?

I'll eat his ass

wit dis

Give em a lil kiss

Got a pretty sturdy door. By the time he gets through I'll already have called the police and got my valuables together and leave ou the back way with the family to watch from afar as he gets arrested. Otherwise everything is insured. There is nothing that cannot be replaced.

>grab gun
>load magazine
>chamber a .40 caliber bullet
>robber breaks in, ready to rob
>take aim
>"goodbye, motherfucker"
>blow own brains out
can't rob me now, bitch. whatchugonna do?

Wrath.

actually thats the sound of me filling that bitch with bullets

What about your dignity?

If the robber needs 27 kicks to bring down my flimsy door, I will feel sorry for him and gladly give him my money so that he can buy something to eat and hit the gym.

Judging by the amount of banging, I'm more worried about his safety.

run of course i don't own guns

i tek out me gun ya braf init
i aim at de robba init
and te ting goes skrrrrraaa
ta ta ta ta ta ta
pam pam pam boom boom

I live in England. We're not allowed to defend ourselves.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Thats the sound of two in the chest and one in the head from my .40TAC as soon as that door swings open.

He gave that up when he failed to own a gun.

love the stereo part...

Have an apple.

*BANG BANG*
What's that I couldn't hear you over the sound of this 9mm

okay tough guy

a robba's not hot , never hot
take off da jacket , mans not hot
2 plus 2 equals 4 minus 1 = 3 quick math

With my glock 17

Cum on his face

with my door, apparently. if he kicks it 27 times without breaking it, he's probably not going to be able to kick it down.

You disagree with my decision. I suppose you'd just bend over and gape your faggot ass for the fucking, huh? I wouldnt even have to ride to the police station - just another dead criminal.

Omae wa mu shinderu

With a hollow point.

...

>could you please stop?

I won't. When I'm dead, I won't have to pay student loans.

Nani?!

Crowbar behind my closet, kitchen knives in on the kitchen counter, telescopic baton and a box opener right here on my desk, tactical pen in my bag by the entrance... just pick a point of entrance, nigga, and i'll pick whatever is the closest.

with my superior memes.

That's not a G17... nice try tho.

lol, nice "glock"

I honestly don't understand this mindset. So you WOULDN'T defend yourself or your family? Suppose you'd invite him up to your daughter's room and lube her crotch up for him? Maybe go ahead and jam his cock in your wife's mouth so you can watch? Or maybe you'd just take that one for the team, huh? Pathetic is not defending your family. I would have no more thought of taking his life or anyone else's who broke into my home that I would putting down a rabid dog. Just a bag of meat at that point.

Call the police, Pull my pants down, bend over, and pray to Hillary Clinton for protection

>Get lock sock
>Spin the lock sock in unison with my dick, hynoptizing and shocking the opponent into submission
>If female, rape
>If male, also rape

We are hitting Internet Tough Guy levels that aren't possible.

You ever pulled the trigger on someone without being a milfag thats been roboted out to do it? You think of the most autistic reasons on Earth why that person should live. I have, I watched him bleed out and I fucking hate people and I still hesitated because your mind is still trying to figure out any solution that isnt that. The 2nd, 3rd, 4th taps were easy cause robbers have sued people in this state and won but the first one is a doozy.

that's not even real. nor a glock 17.

>the belt of ammo is so long its dragging along the ground
>to protect my “family”
>maybe im overdoing it

I carry a Smith and Wesson 44 magnum with hollow points so I don't have to wait for him to finish breaking down my door. Or I could drop down to the floor like a feral dog man and charge him smeegul style howling like a deaf woman being fucked

>lactose intolerant
>down the whole milk container
>eats bucket of ice cream
>he's breaking through the door
>butt cheeks can no longer hold it
>as door falls down my ass shoots out a hot shit stream in the burglars face

I sincerely think you believe that. And maybe I'd go to therapy afterwards. But my kids and wife will be alive. I've stared straight into pleading eyes and ended lives before. The only second thoughts I'd have might come after.

insecure wanker

Hollowpoints will expand on the door. .44 SW is what five rounds?

...

ohh man you got me with this one bro

oh the metaphor...

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

6. And the wood and metal fragment shrapnel would disable and or discourage him

It's a handgun fuckwit. No need for all the drama.

if your door needs 27 hits of BAM! ithink you be ok

You obviously don't own a gun, they teach you to never aim for the head, you're looking to stop the intruder, not kill him

I live in a proper house, nobody is gonna kick my door down.

At what robber burgles a house with someone in it?

>BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
>Door starts chipping and peeling
>Sounds and looks like someone is hammering on the door really really loudly

"Well this is discouraging."

>be me
>be bomb expert
>uh oh
>BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
>someone's trying to break in
>dog walks up to me
>dog is 10 years old, and has canceraids
>begging to die
>lightbulb.gif
>strap an RC blasting gel bomb to dog's bag
>open front window where robber is breaking in
>throw dog out
>dog runs to robber
>BAM!
>all in a day's work here in alabama

Open door, grab foot, knock out and kidnap, shove in basement feed only vaigrea and rape until robber dies

No. I own 18 guns. And that's why it's two in the chest, you ignorant defenseless liberal fuck. I'm not aiming for the head. Center of mass. I went through state police training. The head is just to make sure i dont have to listen to his side of the story.

Of course I'd shoot the fuck out of someone kicking my door down. I just wouldn't be an overbearing faggot about it like you. And fuck your .40TAC bullshit btw. That's just fucking gay. Nobody gives a fuck about whatever that is.

About 50% in the US. It's called home invasion. And you're lucky if they've come to steal.

defend myself from what? A robber? Is he going to attack me as well as try to rob me? Or is the robbery the attack?

Either case I live on a boat. I don't own a tv, don't own a computer, don't own a phone. My cash is securely locked inot me treasure chest down at the bank. They might try to steal the boat but I will have ample time to pull the two plugs keeping her afloat should I ever feel threatened.

Or perhaps one of my crewmembers shoots the fucker before he even boards.

either case, I am not worried

sounds legit

But rape him until he bleeds out internally and continue until I get off, then take a picture of his defiled corpse, check his wallet for ID and send the pictures to his family telling them not to fuck with me

Kek

>stared into pleading eyes
Bulllllllllllllllllllsssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttt.

I do believe what I said. It happened. .38 snub stomach gun (i.e. put snub against stomach and pull trigger). There is no staring, no pleading. Everything slows down and you remember everything for that moment but you arent coherent. Your adrenaline is banging on your skull. My entire family was/is smugglers. Thats our tradional occupation. I'm not unaccustomed to rumbling and that adrenal spike happens during, after and kicks you like a mule the next day.

>Using rubber bullets

Hi. Professional fighter from UK here.

How would I defend myself? ERM professional fighter from UK

Strip down and start jacking, have a massive knife in other hand. When he gets through my door i will run at him with the kbife over my head and furiously masturbating. If a fattass with a massive knife who is jerking at him doesnt make the fuck run nothing will.

True

Plot twist: It's his fetish.
>nigga was hard as it is from all this crime he did to your door.
>sees a gaping shithole with a fresh stream of steamy goodness.
>gets 30% harder, 50 % longer, +20% magical resistance
>plugs your poopshoot with his horse-like cork, creating a tight seal that could withstand 2500 PSI
>as the insertion ensues, your bowels act like a giant syringe, pushing your lactose abundant putrid liquid back the way from which it came.
>in moment's notice, you find yourself tasting your own shit, as a high pressure stream of feces gashing through your nose.
>you can now use the sentence "that shit backfired" literally.

Did you graduate top of your class?

I made something just for this occasion!
Get rolling.

Many robbers are stupid to break into houses with people in them. Don't assume they will run away when they get discovered. That's when they take out their knives and guns and kill you.

Use a long weapon.

If a robber enters my home to rob my place and I'm home how is that gonna go down? Isn't burglary reliant on nobody seeing you?

And what else is a robber gonna do besides, you know, robbing?

...

>That's when they take out their knives and guns and kill you.

Why would a robber ever do that? If they don't want to get caught it's the most stupid thing they can do.

So.... you'd use what? .22? .380? Good luck with that.

LMAO! "state police training" Watch out Sup Forumsros we've got a badass over here!

What's the statistic if you don't count roody poos?

Kek

Well. As a recently married man. Id offer up my Japanese wife's pussy or mouth for him. So we both get to live AND I satisfy a fetish. Gg

>And what else is a robber gonna do besides, you know, robbing?

Tie you up, force you to watch as they rape and murder your wife and kids.

Sure, they might get caught... but you won't be alive to see it. You'll be dead in your living room or bed with 20 stabs in the chest.

What device did you post this with?

extremely effective

that chain is way too long

I'll sit and laugh because I live in the UK and my door isn't made of fucking twigs.

0.0%

...

My pellet gun looks like a pest control rifle at first glance. Niggers around here pretty much never pack heat. If the shitskin doesn't run scared from thinking he is gonna get shot, I keep it loaded with penetrators that sail straight through half inch hardwood boards and if all else fails the stock is solid oak.

>Implying you have any family that hasn't left out of embarrassment

...

>Tie you up, force you to watch as they rape and murder your wife and kids.
Who lives in a lawless shithole where stuff like that happens? Even in South Africa that happens once a decade.

>Sure, they might get caught... but you won't be alive to see it. You'll be dead in your living room or bed with 20 stabs in the chest.
Dito.

You better have thicker doors with all the shit you guys have going on over there.

Plus, doors are weak by design. Guarantee your door can be kicked in.

>63 Points
Alright. Imma melt both guns, and utilize this.
That leaves me with 26 points.

My mistake, that's 24 points.

...

where do you live?

The only thing you've ever smuggled is plug up your ass. And the count is 37 on pleading eyes the last time I checked. 74 if you count them individually. Your story smells of horseshit, boy.

I'd probably grab whatever gun I could get my hands on. Preferably a shotgun. Not all of us walk about with 40TAC's holstered to their belt all day. And for the record, 380's and 22's are better than nothing. They can both kill the fuck out of someone.