ITT: Things we do we think no one else does

ITT: Things we do we think no one else does

>I shit shirtless or completely naked whenever possible
>feels better to me than being clothed and nothing’s in the way

I've heard more people admit they do this than express surprise at this being a thing.

Whenever I have a salad at a restaurant, I ask the waiter what dressings they have, i always choose the last on the say no matter what.

Feels good
I also talk to myself sometimes

Every single time I meet a hot chick or something outside of family I imagine what our life would be if we were together

I like to feed centipedes to neighborhood dogs.

I poo naked too. I live alone so i even have the bathroom door open.

make a big bowl of ice cream.
pour a couple of ounces of milk over it, like you do to cereal. forms small ice crystals. last part of bowl of ice cream has consistency of malt shake.

i get out of the shower to piss

I like to change the shower temperature from cold to hot, and hot to cold every minute or so when I'm in the shower.

Shit before a shower, but dont wipe. Then clean ass hole with hand in shower

I shit in the bathtub while showering and then throw it into the toilet across the bathroom basketball style.

yeh I do this. I wear boxers out of courtesy because I live with my parents.

That's basically a milkshake that hasn't been blended.

Jesus Christ.

I hang my underwear on the doorknob when taking a shit

I jerk off while I shit in the shower

>i get out of the shower to piss

Did it first

When looking out the window, as a passenger in a vehicle, I imagine a man jumping along all the objects passing by. Have done it since I was a kid.

I go buck naked in the shower.

I could drive, but I walk to work, so I can mentally prepare myself for the day and have an excuse to listen to music.

you fucking animal

Ok I've never told anyone I do this

I hold my breath when I open the fridge so I don't breathe in fridge air.

I hate when I’m taking a crap and my dick hangs down into the water

I think anyone who's played a 2D side scrolling game has done this.

Maniac

Maniac

Shirt off is a bit of overkill, but anyone who takes a shit with thier pants around thier ankles is a barbarian. Get your pants off the filthy floor and piss caked porcelain.

I jerk off into my sister’s conditioner bottle.

kek

When im cleaning my toe nails, I like to sniff the gunk that comes out.

its seriously like a compulsion for me. i do it every time.

I hate it when my dick touches the rim.

Ok fess up if you do this so I know I'm not a lunatic

I smell the shit covered toilet paper after I wipe my ass.

I make a paper towel 'condom' to wrap around my dick when I fap. Does anyone else do this?

I shit at work and always choose the middle stall so I can be surrounded by the sound of other men farting while I silently jerk off

You’re a fucking lunatic

when i'm at home, i shout how much i love boys.

fortunately, no one has ever heard me.

You're fucking crazy.

I psychotically scream random words and phrases when i am alone.

We should have concentration camps for people like you.

I prefer to jerk my dick through my pants than to touch the skin directly. I fap exclusively this way now.

No.

yup. and i own an oster blender with a seperate steel milkshake pitcher, milkshake blade, that i only used once, never again., some childhood love of ice milk crystals on my icecream that just stuck, i guess

Do you have a scat fetish? If so, doesn't make you any less of a lunatic.

I wipe my ass from the front, hold my junk to the side and wipe with the other hand, more accuracy, cleaner ass. People freak out.

I scratch my ass crack and smell my fingers. Oh that sweet smell of glory. I don't know how I can somewhat enjoy the smell though, I smelled a fat girls ass crack once and I nearly threw up. Most disgusting scent I've ever encountered. Although the scent of my asscrack doesn't bother me

When I'm alone sometimes my internal conversation becomes vocal and I find my self talking out loud the string of consciousness that is my brain.

When I fap I like to have my cum shoot across my stomach and chest.
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>uninstall life.exe

I shit in the bathtub while showering and then throw it into the toilet across the bathroom basketball style. Anyone else do this? I do it overtime I shower.

>people freak out
who's watching you wipe your ass?

thanks user, Im going to try this

You DONT do this? you should try. its fun.

>buck naked

Excellent question

Eh, me too sometimes lol

No. I feel like I do it to check the "health" or something. Like checking your blood pressure or blood sugar. I don't know but there's certainly nothing sexual about it. More like medical.

I thought I was the only one who copied shit post topics off leddit..

>when i poop i have to have bare feet
>i put a used soft shirt in between a pillow and pillow case, and fuck it, feelsgudman.jpg

in a hapimag timeshare in CH, they had these "tropical" showerheads that you would dig: it was a big ass rain showerhead, and it had 1 additional setting that made the outer nozzles only stream hot/warm water, and the inner nozzles only did cold cold water. made me "whoop!" when i first discovered this setting. tried finding it here in the states, but when I ask at stores, they have no fucking idea what I am talking about, never found them here

Checked. Girls are taught never to wipe back to front cause of vag infections. Dudes don't have that concern so it really doesn't matter.

Oh, well, makes you less of a lunatic then. Still at least unusual.

anytime ive told someone(friends in middle school,etc.)

Same here someone I knew used to call this an '' English shower ''... I always think of these words while doing it.

liar / fake

well as long as your using soap whatever.

I do

lonely tourettes?

no i really do it.

i do dis

If I dig into my bellybutton because it itches, I ALWAYS smell my finger and then immediately wonder why. It's automatic, I can't stop myself from doing it.

because it smells like shit ?
just clean your goddamn frig nigghu

This is what I do, cept I use toilet paper because it's softer

Thank god, I thought I was alone here.

liar

dubs dont lie!

I take pictures of wheelchair-bound cuties with my phone whenever I see them. When I get home, I look at the pictures, imagine I'm her and shit my pants.

I do the same.

see

No the fridge smalls fine. I've done this for at least 20 years.

Thanks 9gag

That actually made me fucking laugh out loud to myself
Good job user

to see if it smells ok? do you also give it a taste test? make sure it tastes ok?

I do the same , dude.

sorry I didnt know it was illegal to listen to music in the car. You'd think car manufactures would be smart enough to quit including illegal equipment with new vehicles but I guess tradition has taken priority over legality.

No fucking way would I ever taste it. Unless you offered me money. I'd eat shit for a surprisingly small amount of money.

so what your saying is you masturbate with a mild abrasive?

well that's particular then ! congrats

I don't use lotion, so, the paper towel stays in place. I just use it to catch my cum so I don't have to hover over them and be uncomfortable.

i put cigarettes out on my ass. I also burn my girl friend with them while she sleeps.

Lets weigh the pros and cons:
Back to front, you have a chance of getting shit on your balls or at least where your balls will rest when your done shitting.

Front to back; keeps the shit AWAY your genitals and worst case scenario you have a bit way up the top side of your crack.
So please tell me why back to front is even a viable option? In fact, you were either poorly toilet trained or you are a fucking moron for doing this

how much is a small amount?

even if its cock juice?

damn user... you fucking gay

I wanna know where dafuq you are eating that has 'cock juice' as a salad dressing/topping

I eat my boogers after I get home from the gym. That is the only time I do it and I don't enjoy it. I've convinced myself that it's helping me build a stronger immune system. Honestly, I think it fucking works. Never get sick and, if I do, it passes quickly.

I'd be willing to eat a piece of shit the size of a small rock for $300

it's only unhealthy if you yell at yourself or have extreme emotions

yeah you're fucked

we should combine my compulsion to throw shit and use your mouth instead of the toilet.