I want to talk about what just happened

I want to talk about what just happened.
>be me
>19 year old college student
>lives with mother cause free housing
>mom goes out to get groceries
>awwwyiss.jpg
>open up laptop
>go on to pornhub
>browsing for a few minutes, nothing catching my interest
>go on to /d/, still nothing
>get angry
>cant bust a nut
>go on to omegle
>im not even horny at this point
>want to enact autism revenge
>IF I CANT FAP NOBODY WILL
>get out World War I Gas mask
>enter keywords like "Sex, nude, naked"
>put on raincoat with hood
>look like I just came out of the vidya "STALKER"
>start up webcam
>first victim skips, next, so on
>manage to scare a bunch of other people
>then start getting females, some of them too young
>get wicked idea
>decide to scare them off
>goddamn preteen skanks
>find toilet paper
>make myself an effective look alike of a diaper
>stuff sliced cheese squares around the waist
>turn on bluetooth
>get AR-15 from under the bed
>enter tags "girl" and "teen girl" and the likes
>every time someone comes to me, slavic hardbass is playing while I dance to it in a toilet paper diaper with cheese stuck to my waist
>decide to put more cheese in my T.P diaper, bulging the crotch and start pelvic thrusting

op you must do this again and tell us what happens!11!!!

OP
>the females on omegle are terrified
>the males on omegle are turned off
>my leg hairs glistening as I pelvic thrust
>screams4days.wav
>scream back "TO A NUNNERY WITH THEE YE HARLOTS!!!! WOE TO THOSE WHO ENTER THIS DARK ABYSS FILLED WITH ALL THE COCKS" in a thick slavic voice
>having a good ass time
>mom comes home
>bursts into my room wondering what the fuck the screaming is about
>"user WHAT THE FUC-"
>sees me in the middle of the room with an old gas mask wearing a tp diaper, cheese dripping down my legs and out of the diaper and a raincoat pelvic thrusting to slavic hardbass on video with dicks cycling through
>look her in the eyes
>"ANUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIII CHEEKIII BREEKIIIIIIIIIIIIII IV DAMKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

this is a good thing OP

but wait, THERES MORE! Continue?

sure, had a kek, by all mean

Go on OP.

>mother is looking at me dumbfounded
>"w-wha...?"
>trying to not break character cause i'm still on live stream
>worrying will look uncool given that there is one person that is watching
>judging
>scoop some now melted dick cheese out from the crotch of the tp diaper
>squat
>"FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!!!"
>hurl the goopy wad of dick cheese at mother
>aimed for the stomach so it would be fine, no cheese to the face
>dash for the escape key
>turn off video camera
>mother stands there in shock as I begin to humiliatingly peel the now cheese covered sticky tp off me
>begin to explain that I was extremely bored
>she stops me midway
>walks away
>sit on bed thinking to myself about how many socks I can take with me and trade with the homeless people
>mom comes back in with a clean shirt
>tells me to sit down, handing me a towel
>starts lecturing me on how if I'm gay then I should be straightforward and find a boyfriend rather than relying on seeing other men on the Internets dicks
>waitwhat.png
>goes off some more about how my uncle is gay and how he was accepted
>confused as FUCK
>I try to explain that I really was bored and for autistic reasons I decided to kill a lot of boners
>spurging out, reality crashing down on me
>says "I took over 67 dicks today!"
>realize what I blurted out
>NO WAIT I MEANT-
>shes laughing
>I AM THE ONE WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE ON THOSE WHO WOULD DARE TAKE THE NAME OF SEX AND RUN IT INTO THE GROUND
>realize i sound like a god damned idiot

>I am the one who protects the innocent on camera
>i defend the population
>I change the minds of people and make them practice abstinence!
>I am CAPTAIN CHEESYPEENY
>mom fucking looses her shit
>she cant stop laughing at how big of an autist I sound like
>cringicus maximus
>she tells everyone in the family
>im known as captain cheesey peeny in my family now

Kill me, Sup Forums.

Topkek, Captain. Would have loved to see the look on your mum's face when she walked in.

I want to believe

cheesypeeny

na bro, you deserve a better moniker

>"ANUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIII CHEEKIII BREEKIIIIIIIIIIIIII IV DAMKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What the fuck did I just read

Alright Cheesy Peeny, but does this turn in to straight shota?

>Then she sucked my cheesy peeny
There. Happy?

Keep your day job, user, you have a bleak future in erotic literature

>Slickling his cheesy peeny

>Keep your day job
Ha, jokes on you. I'm unemployed

Hearty kek
Thanks OP, but you're still a godamned faggot

Just wanted to share m8

good story OP

via 9gag

High-tier autism if true, I'd like to believe you. The fact that you live with your mother gives a decent amount of credibility to your claim.

b8 is b8 m8

>>decide to put more cheese in my T.P diaper, bulging the crotch and start pelvic thrusting

then mom comes in singing "bought a lot of tendies, bought a lot of tend...WHAT THE FUCK!!! DISGUSTANG!!!!!!!!"

Saved.

fuckin a, thanks user. :')

bump just because

i want to but no video did it happen.? /x/ get on this..

Godspeed Captain Cheesypeeny