I fell in love with a girl when I was in high school

I fell in love with a girl when I was in high school.

We broke, badly, she will not even talk to me anymore.

That was over 10 years ago...

I dream about her, I have nightmares about her, I can't stop thinking about her even when I'm awake.

I need this to stop, but I don't know what to do.

She is getting married soon, probably this weekend, I would guess.

I saw her Facebook profile picture, it was posted just a day ago. Her sister is helping her put the dress on.

I have never had feelings for anyone else, the way I had feelings for her.

I'm a nobody though...

I dropped out of school and got entangled in a web of drugs, addiction, and anything and everything that was self destructive to myself.

Meanwhile, she just got her Ph.D.

She has friends and family and a husband.

I have few friends, only a bastardized version of "family", and I while I have a "girlfriend" it's a relationship with no definitive goal and will likely dissolve.

Seeing her in her wedding dress, I tasted an emotion in my mind that I had never felt before.

On one hand, it was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen.

On the other, it felt like dying.

The only person that I feel like I love, more than I love her? Is her husband.

He is what makes her happy, and I would die to protect that.

I just wish I could get the chunk of asphalt out of my chest, that feels like it's strangling my heart.

Why haven't I been able to forget her?
Will I ever?

The more I think about it, the more I just want to walk out into the ocean, and not stop, until swallowed by the abyss.

I can't watch them grow old and happy together, I want it for them both...

I just don't know if I can handle seeing it happen.

Please? What can I do?

You're just a stupid bloke, get your yourself on track first

Seconded

I fart and burp all the time. I seem to have gas constantly and I release it in some form approximately every 5 minutes. Apparently I do it in my sleep too.

If I'm on my own, surrounded by family or friends, I fart loudly without any attempt to conceal it. If I'm in public I still fart and burp but quieter. Even in work and in meetings I fart but I just do it quieter. They almost never smell, and even if they do its pretty mild and passes quickly.

There are only very rare circumstances in which I'll hold it in, the conditions have to meet all of the following criteria:

> I have eaten spicy food or drank lots of beer the night before
> I have farted a few times already and they fucking stink
>I'm in a social environment with people I'm not totally comfortable with

Delete social media. Everything. Don't go on it. Then slowly disconnect from all internet, and from your family. And withdraw from friends and family, and leave. Don't tell anyone where or why, only you're absolute trusted friends. And wander around. Go out of state. Walk the roads, camp out somewhere. Just leave everything behind. You'll feel much better

Go get ur ged, go to college, become something and make her regret ever leaving u simply by just showing how successful you've become And how u feel about her to do that u gotta start talking to her tho

This is better OP do this

Honestly mi amigo it's probably because she was the only other female you ever saw yourself in and after losing her you felt that you could no longer see yourself in another woman. I have been there and I can relate but my best piece of advice to you is to not go looking for love from another person until you love yourself. When you are finally happy with the person you see in the mirror then you can go find your woman. And as for yourself, do whatever makes you happy. Live your life according to your own standards and do whatever makes you want to get up every morning.

This. You are obsessed with her because you think she would automatically make your life good.

Pain does not yield.

Time will numb the pain, as it will expose you to more, or greater pain, but it will never yield.

Follow your path. You've accepted that she is happy, so accept the pain that comes with this.

Accept that it is part of you, and that it makes you who you are.

this

OP here

Thanks for the advice guys.

I think I might just start planning to become an hero.

I can't do this.

Same thing happened to me pretty much.
I moved to a different country.
I didn't unfriend her but the baby pics were getting a bit too much so I unfollowed.
And years later, she writes me. She is divorcing. We met up.
She came with her baby and we went sightseeing.
And you know what I realised? I didn't even really know her. I loved the ideal of her in my head, not the real her.
I don't know how this helps you though.

Story of how became gay.

Why did it end?

Fuckin hell man this hurts too much

I had an addiction to a fetish, and abused our friendship to indulge in it.

I understand at this point fully, how wrong I was.

It's part of the reason I became a non-atonement Christian.

->NAC's believe more or less, most of the God story. However, rather than seeking a savior in Christ, we accept the punishment of damnation for our sins. Fully aware that it is an eternity of damnation and suffering.

Who am I to second guess God?

If the price of sin is damnation, why would I let Jesus pay for it, for me?

I intend to fully accept the punishment on my own moral terms. If getting into heaven is seeking salvation, then I sacrifice that option, to properly serve my sentence.

dude you're anonymous just say what it was.

Not that anonymous.

How many people match the description I just gave?

Recent PhD grads with wedding dress profile pics, in high school 10 years ago, and their sister helping them put it on.

Yeah, >inb4 beating her fetish

Dude no one cares about Sup Forums threads and raids are just a meme in 2k17.

I'm thinking it was panty sniffing/jerking off with panties

Them feels man, I know what it is, believe me. I truly hope you will find peace, u filthy degenerate.

Really? State your guess.

I'm wondering if you know the pig girl.

I recently passed a somehow similar situation, the best thing I have done this year was talking to her again: the nightmares ended, the pressure when I saw her partying or at college ended, all the anxiety and overthinking, EVERYTHING BAD ended. You should do the same, user, just regular stuff, bring back the shit that happened years ago and tell her how do you feel, even apologize if you need to.
Good luck, user, the rest of your life can start soon.

I don't think she would talk to me.

I'm pretty sure the bridge burned, turned to char, then ash, and was blown away in the wind. Just like my hopes and dreams.

But dont be a fool, she has a life now, dont mess things up. You will soon find peace if you know to keep the distances, dont try to get back with her, for you, for her new husband and for her.

YOU HAVE TO TRY.
LIFE IS ABOUT TRYING.
YOUR FUTURE AWAITS.

do it faggot, you have nothing to lose

i'm in similar situation just hasn't progressed as much as op...
this has been on my mind for so long tho

I feel you OP I've been through something similar and every night before I sleep I wonder what could have been if I just didn't fuck things up.

Shit hurts.

Fuck it.

I just decided how I want to become an hero.

I'm blowing the whistle on this.

Mars is inhabited, the moon is as well, but the moon is a military outpost. Mars is an entire civilization.

300+ million years ago, Mars had an advanced race of creatures on it. They looked at the Earth, and realized, upon seeing the monstrosities and beasts of the cambrian period, that it could be a threat to them.

They calculated and determined Earth would begin to support more and more varied types of life, until it was inevitable that another sentient species of advanced knowledge and technical capacity would evolve on it.

Their culture's morals and judgment precluded the idea of wiping out the life on Earth.
Instead, they made a different decision.

They decided to use their advanced technology to cloak their existence. They moved their species underground. Dinosaurs around 65 million years ago, were too frightening to allow them, to become the sentient species. Far too large and far too dangerous.

The Mars community, in the best interest of our solar system, wiped them out, and let lower life forms continue to evolve.

They maintain a direct control over most global communities, nations, and monetary trade structures of modern day Earth.

Rather than attempt diplomacy, it was decided that it was not worth attempting, because if it should fail, the interplanetary war would be disastrous for all sides.

Thus, they still hide.

I used to work at an organization that mediated emissaries between Earth's ruling powers, and Mars.

With this disclosure, the minute I start to publish and distribute the evidentiary proof, I will be assassinated, in the best interest of all parties.

It's been good Sup Forums.

unreal and homosexual kys tbh

This user has the right idea nothing to lose might as well try

kys reddit

and that realisation helped you get over her?
you're a better man than me
ive known this for so long and still want her back

not op

>Far too large and far too dangerous
easily the funniest bit