I've been hollow so long

I've been hollow so long..
I'm just so tired.

Maybe next round,
it won't get so fucked up.
I'd like that.

I wonder what it's like,
to sleep that way.

I bet it's nice.

I'm sure that it isn't much of anything,
but that certainly means it won't be not nice.

what do you mean "next round"?

Maybe. Probably not, but maybe.

...

user,

if you're reading this,
even if we've never met,
know that you are loved.
Your life is valuable,
and I cherish you as a human being.
Other people do too,
you just have to meet the ones you like best.

Next time,
I wish I'll meet her.
Instead of this:
whatever this mess of reality is.
I don't know what happened,
or who I am,
because I've kept forgetting.
My self is not whole,
and can never be.

I'm hollow inside:
a sphere collapsing
like a neutron star.

I would rather collapse.
I have enough faith
to pray that I become something.
I have enough faith
to believe that I matter enough for that.

>next round
haha, no
ya blew it

I'm with this guy OP. You're life is valuable to me and I dont know who you are. Id have a drink or smoke with you if I could.

next run through, or whatever comes after
I'd rather stop knowing than keep knowing not.
pic related
yeah, and I can't undoneder my blunder. I fucked up this life somehow, and I can't even learn from it. That's fucked.

>Maybe next round
There's your problem.

you can start your life over anytime...

"what a relief to wake up in the morning and think..ahhh there is still time."

That guy was also me. Thanks user; I'd drink or smoke with you too. I wish I were stable enough to be a better friend to the people like you in my life.

It certainly is not unfucked this round,
and I certainly don't have the capacity for the endurance to unfuck it up.
I've got all the time in the world,
but it's meaningless without a purpose to be devoted to. I've been my own purpose for my whole life, and I can not keep doing that; the function is literally flawed and I can't regenerate brain matter. I'm fairly certain that, somehow, my perception of destiny has literally been broken.

There's a dent in my skull. I didn't always have it, and I have no idea at all when I got it. There are gaps all throughout my childhood's memory; only about the last 6 months have been continuous. I feel completely fucked up, innately.

I'm fairly certain that the missing or damaged part is the parietal lobe, on the left side of my brain. I'm also fairly certain that the origin of my troubles has come from the damage to this area. I don't think that there is an ending that I can conceive of for myself which is in line with what I want. I can't take it on faith anymore that there will be something for me; I'm tired of existing for nothing.
All that I exist for doesn't exist yet. The purpose of my life is likewise hollow.

Life is temporary. Our fleshpuppet of a body is merely a conduit to the physical relm for our consciousnes. In other words, we're spiritual beings having a human experience. Not human beings having spiritual experiences. You chose this life for conscious gain but have trouble finding who you are. Look within yourself user for the answers you seek.

Try DMT or Mushrooms. For diving into your consciousness not merely to "trip"

Holy shit, if you look closely it almost looks like a face.

there's always that one faggot who suggests using drugs to solve your problems, go fuck yourself hippie

Thanks user;
I've found the answers to every question I've ever had but one. The only thing I currently care about is the yearning within me for my soulmate, and I'm convinced that she no longer exists in a capacity for me to be with her.

U really know nothing.

..user
I've already done both DMT and mushrooms previously; I don't think that I can gain anything more out of them, but only lose myself again within them. Would that I could just trip immediately, but I don't think that could answer my question:
Who will be my soulmate?
I'm nearsighted and I can't see an answer. My mind is damaged and I don't know how to find who I'm missing.

Its a proven fact that Psilocybin is a huge reason to why yhe human brain evolved within a million years. DMT is also produced both when you dream and dying. These are both natrual chemicals untouched by man that you call a "drug" how about you educate yourself on things oppose to regurgitate the bullshit youve been fed your whole life.

Learn tonlove yourself and accept who you are. Only then you'll meet them. How can you love someone if you dont love yourself? You can only give what you have.

This v

I love myself tremendously, and I have enough essence to give to anyone who wants it. I would only offer all of it to one person, and every guess that I've had of who she is has been wrong. I am weary of guessing.

I want most to singularly devote myself to another, and to live entirely for her. I want to give all who I am, and I am not insignificant. Without that: I want nothing.

Can you tell yourself that youre someone who you'd want to date? Look at the energy you give off to others. To me, and no offence. Its sounds to me youre almost desperate for finding that soulmate you desire. What is you seek though romance? Soul mates and Twin Flames are two different kind of people but both important in teach us about lessons within ourselves. There's many factors here when it comes to attracting someone. Are you meeting people while partaking in things you enjoy such as ex. Rock Climbing? Or are you meeting random folk and try to build from there?

You should be able to devote yourself to yourself first (not egotisticaly) before you can do that. Once said person is gone, what will you have? Nothing. Because you "gave" your entire being to them. Ive been down this road user. And its a treacherous one.

I know that I am someone I would want to date. If I met a female version of me, I would want to be with her and know that immediately; I could say the same for if I were a girl and met myself.

There isn't a community for the sorts of things I'm interested in, so I have built one among my friends, but it's small. She hasn't been in my life so far, or if she has, she isn't anymore. I don't do much beside class or hanging out with the friends I already have; there isn't much more I want to do, and I'm not going to advertise the inner workings of my life to people who are just passing through it.
It's a catch-22: I would bring her to the center immediately, but no one I've met is looking for that.
Pic is something I've used for myself.

then you are ready to begin.

Thanks. I'm here for myself, and I'm all that I have right now; I just want to be with someone.

that tree has a boner and two vaginas tho the fuck is up with that

I have knowledge of quantum philosophy and 10-dimensional metaphysics; I still can't see the other half.

>drugs don't help anyone
which is why medicine is worthless, you have to pray that fever away!
/sarcasm

I'd love to know that I've began. I was under the impression that all this has always been always beginning...
I'm almost at the end of my line.
How do I have hope?

bump