New celebread

new celebread

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I want to bury my nose in Selena's sweaty pits!

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>Kendall will never eat my ass out like a sloppy sandwich

;_____;

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I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was a beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman whose light was snuffed out far too early. I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her. Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for. Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you're both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

PUT MY DICK IN THAT BOX

kek

who wouldn't

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>In contact with aliens
>Possess psychic-like abilities
>Control france with an iron but fair fist
>Own castles & banks globally
>Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city)
>Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Bogdanoff babies
>both brothers said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
>They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have Bogdabots inside you right now
>The Bogdanoffs are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bogdanoff bunker in Wilkes land?
>They learned fluent French in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bogdanoff
>The twins are about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they’re benevolent beings.

heh I c wat u did thr

not the best body.....not even the best body for a regular unknown woman...but her face is just gorgeous

OH Lily! Touch ME!!!

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>or some dumbasses that got way too much plastic surgery ruining their natural good looks

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I am the heritage from the years of corruption. I'm on the intelligence side. I have no identity or nationality. I'm the one who chances the tide I've got no real name, revolution is my game
and there will be mercy to none. I'm like the pest, I will never rest 'til all the cleaning is done. I am the nightmare of all systems; the anger burns deep. A perfect killing machinery
Hey Mr. President get some sleep. Hijacking in the east, a murder in the west. For the good cause it's all justified. A killing in the north, a bombing in the south. Another couple of bastards died No negotiations or worthless conventions. I throw over regimes by force. I'll butcher world leaders. With arms that they feed us. And no one can stop this man's war
I'll tear apart your society
Change the course of history
Time to break their passivity
End their bullshit diplomacy
Just ice, terror, reforming the world. Raging fury burning every state. Bullets, mines, explosions, bombs and guns. Gonna make them eat their nude-ar (nuclear) waste. I am the annihilator, I control the detonator. Smiling as I push it down. I blow up your embassies,
undermine democracies I even will hunt for the British crown. I precisely aim at the life that I claim; the bullet will enter the head. Confusion all around. But I will not be found. World near my serenade in lead!

I like her body

here’s how i interpret this: Bill Hitchert, Jon Callanan and Lori Petrosino were facebook friends (prolly IRL friends as well). One day Bill Hitchert posted the Banana image. Maybe he got some response, maybe not. Maybe people commented on the image and he was really proud of his finding. Maybe no one commented and he let it go. I think he got some feedback and he was proud of himself, in a pleb way. Then, one day, perhaps not too long after, Jon Callanan posts the same banana image. I don’t know if it was intentional or not. Perhaps he had a beef with Bill Hitchert, perhaps he was just trolling Bill, perhaps he was just as a moron as Bill (they are friends, after all). Bill, upon seeing that, not sure what Jon was up to, tries to fake a laugh and asks where did Jon find it (hey Jon “ha-ha”, where did you find this ?). Jon, who prolly knew what he was doing, says, oh, just somewhere. Then adds sarcastically. Nice of you to join us. It’s possible that Bill was ignoring Jon, and that Jon did it to bait Bill. Bill, then, passively-agressively says the famous “i really (3x) like this image”, as if saying (yeah, I, it was me, before, who posted that image, scumbag) Jon, then replies with his famous: save it, it’s yours, which, of course, means “yes, I know you posted, i stoled, suck my dick”. Then Lori, who was just passing by, says: “wow, this is funny” Bill, then being the one who posted first, of course, says “thank you, you should thank me, I was the one who introduce the image to this faggot” And that was the story

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>bobs head
Hello friend!

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Banana thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Sup Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Banana guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Sup Forums posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY
REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.

@_@

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>Kendall will never deep fry my cock up like a chicken wing

;________;

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>be me
>single father
>daughter is in elementary school
>Let's call her Jill
>she signs up for the school spelling bee
>spend all week going over flash cards and practicing
>the big day arrives
>she's killing it
>most of the kids who entered are fucking retards
>one kid spells "catch" with a "k"
>I shout "get off the stage faggot"
>dirty looks from all the parents around me
>don't care my daughter's clearly gonna win
>it comes down to the last two kids
>the fat slut judge clears her throat
>"Jill, your word is 'six'"
>she spells it perfectly
>"S-I-X-X. Sixx"
>mfw the judge shakes her head no
>"I'm sorry, that's incorrect"
>other kid spells it with one fucking "x" and the judge grants him the point
>clenching my teeth so tight I break a crown
>literally shit my pants full I'm so angry
>other parents move away from me as it starts to smell like shit
>now the score is tied
>"Jill, your word is 'sliding'"

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lmaooooo TayTay user ur too much sometimes :D

Gal party!!! :DDD

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>Jill leans in to the mic
>"S-L-I-D-D-I-N-G. Slidding."
>I stand up to clap
>some shit slidds down my slacks and lands on my shoe leaving a massive skid mark
>then that fat cunt judge says "I'm sorry, that's incorrect"
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEE
>pick up my chair and start bashing the other parents without mercy
>kids all start screaming and running
>take down my slacks and let my muddy ass mess slop fall on the floor
>scoop up a handfull and chuck it at fat judge bitches face
>directhit.exe
>my dick is out now and fully erect
>someone pulls the fire alarm
>one of the kids pulls a gun out of his backpack and starts a shooting rampage
>pretty bad ass actually
>grab the judge slut by the hair and lift her off the ground
>"please, let me go,"
>I look her dead in the eyes
>"Logless shills aren't welcome here."
>slam her down on her desk, breaking her spine clean in half
>the rampaging kid asks the spelling bee winner if he beleives in god and then shoots him in the face
>Jill snatches the first place trophy from his cold dead hands
>"Daddy I won!"
>you sure did, sweety. You sure did

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mommy

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Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of being disrespected on this goddamn website. All I wanted to do was post my opinion. MY OPINION. But no, you little bastards think it's "hilarious" to mock those with good opinions. My opinion. while not absolute, is definitely worth the respect to formulate an ACTUAL FUCKING RESPONSE AND NOT JUST A SHORT MEME OF A REPLY. I've been on this site for 6 months: 6 MONTHS and I have never felt this wronged. It boils me up that I could spend so much time thinking and putting effort into things while you shits sit around (probably jerking off to traps or whatever gay shit you like) and make fun of the intellectuals of this world. I've bored you? Good for fucking you. Literally no one cares that your little brain is to underdeveloped and rotted to comprehend my idea...MY GREAT GREAT IDEA. I could sit here all day whining, but I won't. I'm NOT a whiner. I'm a realist and an intellectual. I know when to call it quits and to leave the babybrains to themselves. I'm done with this goddamn site and you goddamn immature children. I have lived my life up until this point having to deal with memesters and idiots like you. I know how you work. I know that you all think you're "epik trolls" but you're not. You think you baited me? NAH. I've never taken any bait. This is my 100% real opinion divorced from anger. I'm calm, I'm serene. I LAUGH when people imply I'm intellectually low enough to take bait. I always choose to reply just to spite you. I won. I've always won. Losing is not in my skillset. So you're probably gonna reply "lol epik trolled" or "u mad bro" but once you've done that you've shown me I've won. I've tricked the trickster and conquered memery. I live everyday growing stronger to fight you plebs and low level trolls who are probably 11 (baby, you gotta be 18 to use Sup Forums). But whatever, I digress. It's just fucking annoying that I'm never taken serious on this site, goddamn.

I-I know g-g-good s-s-sirs; I-I treat h-her bad and sh-she i-is h-hell o-off u-upset o-on it... S-She should h-have d-d-dumped m-my a-a-ass a-a long t-t-time a-a-ago i-in the g-garbage f-for what I-I am an-and th-the blase w-way I-I treat h-her, l-l-l-like sh-she i-is n-nothing wh-when i-in r-r-reality sh-she knows sh-sh-she i-is a-a-among th-the greatest o-of w-w-women... B-But s-s-still d-d-doesn't g-give m-me u-up... W-What a-a-am I-I compared t-t-to her...

mama burrito :3

Friend?

Yay

Fuck. Typed this for the last Mckayla thread before it died. Whatever. Still relevant I guess.
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I've been here for too long and I'm too old now I guess. I've lurked and posted for 10 years, since I was in my 20s. Dispite or because of Sup Forums and Sup Forums I care more about people then ever.
When I hear she was molested starting at 13, and how there's over 100 cases against this man and that there were people who knew and it was systematically suppressed by MSU, I can't help but think of my young female relatives who are now older than she was and Nassar molesting them and everyone here getting off on it.
I get it. We see celeb threads, revenge threads, rate threads, rape, 10/10 x body part and loli and jailbait threads everyday. You get served up a trough of flesh and fantasy and you can pretend it magically appears before you. A gift from the gods / anons as a never ending stream of pics and vids.
It's easy to forget these are real people staring out at you from the screen. That your fantasies have no place in the real world and would cause tremendous suffering and anguish. That real people exist and it's not just images on a computer screen.
Empathy is in desperately short supply these days. Being able to put yourself in someone's position.
Sometimes I wonder how much of what makes up the inhuman front of Sup Forums is people knowingly acting out and how much are people, kids likely (or were kids here at one point), who see this behavior and think it's legitimate and take it to heart, thinking that is the true Sup Forums or whatever. How many radicals and hateful people have we churned out unknowingly?
I dunno. Old man rambling now. The real world shouldn't be like Sup Forums. I guess my confidence that people understand that has been shot.

To be fair, you have to have a scat fetish to understand Andy Sixx's logs. The flavor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of eating da poopoo, most of the logs will go over a typical eater's head. There's also Andy's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his songs - his personal philosophy draws heavily from his dad Nikki, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these logs, to realize that they're not just tasty- their flavor says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike eating logs of shit out of Andy Sixx's asshole truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the bouquet of his creamiest, steamiest dumplings, which themselves are a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Andy's logtrain unfolds itself into their gaping months. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a BVB tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for Andy's eyes only. And hopefully I can demonstrate to him just how dedicated I am too answer the question: "Would you?"

a yes galanon it is I, daisyemmanon :D

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This is it bros. This is the time that your spam posts finally restore Sup Forums to the greatness it once was. All your hard work is about to pay off. You absolutely haven't been wasting your life

Anonymous quickly slid his copy of the D&D monster manual between his Algebra and bio books and closed his locker door. If he was to survive the afternoon he would have to move quickly. He pulled up his hood, trying to look inconspicuous, and turned around, only to come face to face with the flawless white tabard of the captain of the paladins.
"WHITHER GOEST THOU, KNAVE?!" he demanded, his voice loud despite the muffling of his visored greathelm.
"I was just getting my books, leave me alone." said Anonymous. He felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck; the armored bulk of the members of the Paladin squad blocked the hallway entirely.
"I POSTED AN EDICT BANNING YOU FROM THIS CORRIDOR, KNAVE!" The captain roared. His lieutenant looked up from his breviary and addressed no one in particular:
"METHINKS THE HERETIC LOOKS TO BE SMOTE!"
"NOoooo!" cried Anonymous, dodging away from the tightening circle of paladins. "Leave me alooone!" he yelled as he ran toward the stairway for all he was worth, the clanking of plates against chainmail close behind him.
"SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" The cry echoed from the concrete walls.
'Somebody heeellllp!" he cried as the paladins lifted him bodily across the school courtyard. At their captain's encouragement they broke into a run.
"SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" the paladins let anonymous go on the upswing, and for a brief second he was weightless, coasting through the air, until he landed with a squishy thud in the fetid darkness of the cafeteria dumpster.
"THY WILL BE DONE OH LORD," the paladins intoned as they slammed the lid.
Anonymous waited until their hymns of triumph faded in the distance before dragging himself clumsily out, shaking, stained and stinking. He felt he could burst into tears any second, but the varsity cheerwenches were there, giggling at his discomfiture.

STAHP

How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.

fug

oh wait its a herman thread..

he lives on Sup Forums in celeb threads its an open secret that everyone knows he has severe autism his name is herman (not even joking) when he has had brief clear days as he calls them he stated on here that he lives with his parents (he is like 60 something) and has split personalities and posts random celebs having circle jerking sessions etc even posts kid pics etc kenzi and G and jj and a few others....a janitor employed by the website called him out many times explaining to people that he basically samefags the entire thread talking to himself etc .... he thinks its just one guy and a big conspiracy against him etc ...cringy as fuck to watch....u usually can spot when he makes a thread when he posts a random celeb to start it off then posts a shity celeb ie taylor swift etc with a >best celeb next to it then proceeds to samefag the thread etc ....


>That moment that you realise that

>Marinafag =
>kenzifag
>arifag
>tayfag
>selenafag
>stutterfag
>pedofag
>g-fag
>elle
>jordyn jones
>pedo gif poster guy
(plus when he acts like multiple anons getting mad at anyone who cals him out or anyone who posts this)
(plus the id suck cock for tay tay(or other celeb) faggotry/samefagging)
(plus underage celebs who he posts then samefags talking to himself saying how pure they are etc then replies to himself being "lewd" describing how he wants to fuck them then replying to himself again telling himself not to be lewd "she is an angel etc" then repeating the last few steps the entire thread)

aka herman the guy who lives with his parents in the united states


now thats what u call cringe...

just a head up to u guys its all the same guy...he samefags like a motherfucker using multiple devices

he is also a regular poster on Sup Forums and /mpl/ and starts most /trap/ threads

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Sonichu. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of autism most of the jokes will go over a typical readers head. There's also the writers nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from the writings of James Joyce, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the writer, to realize that he's not just autistic- he is saying something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Sonichu truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Chris Chans existencial catchphrase "I HAVE MULTIPLE PAIRS OF DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS," which itself is a cryptic reference to Ulysses. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the writers genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Sonichu tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

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Is that Kendall and her titties smashed together like a cheesy cheesy cheese burger?!?

My Queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen

M-My m-m-mistress Victoria Justice i-is a very beautiful w-woman a-and I-I'm a lucky m-man t-to have h-her...

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YAY!! :DDDDDD

Hello!

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Hello!

oh, nevermind

hnnng so hot

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Dat look you had on your face stopped me dead in my tracks

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Fuck off with that cunt. Queen Emma ONLY!

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how about this one

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This is now queen Emma thread

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Why? Who the fuck is this horse ugly cunt

Oh my god that glimmer in your eye makes me weak. Such an angel

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no one

It's Julia Roberts niece if you can't appreciate her supreme beauty then leave!

She seems to tiny and delicate

check your privilege

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You like my pretty smile don't you pledge

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oh shit wrong pic

She turns me into a marshmellow

that man should not be wearing a two piece, no matter how stylish he thinks it is

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Not to mention, she (Emma) is dumb as a box of rocks.

what about my lusty look

Your smile is as glorious as a morning sunrise