Today is my girlfriend's birthday and she really wants to have sex with me. I don't know what to do

Today is my girlfriend's birthday and she really wants to have sex with me. I don't know what to do...

Easy. Fuck the little bitch. Give her a fucking she'll never forget.

Gross user. Sorry.

Anal

What’s your major malfunction numb nuts? Fucking pound her to heaven and back.

i wouldnt do it. she probably has aids

Sleep with her.

He's obviously not interested, dick tits. Bodies change. Maybe he's passed his prime. But also stop being a selfish pussy OP. If she wants it on her birthday fucking suck it up.

just tell her the truth: you're preserving for marriasge

Run away. Far away Luke.

Also tell her you have to fuck your sister

How fat is she? Are we talking power chair needed fat or she’s grafted to her bed fat?

let her have sex with you maybe? I mean, it's not terribly difficult.

I am truely sorry for your lots.

If you want to fuck her do it. Don't be nervous. Remember she got with you because she loked you. Not because of how good you are at sex. If its your first time and she expects you to nut in more then 10 minutes shes asking to much.

If you don't want to fuck her just stiff arm her the rest of the day.

nope, nope, nope!! she has a feminine penis and until now I successfully avoided sex.

but, you know, today is her birthday.

Go to her bedroom. Take of pants. Wait until penis hard. Insert penis. Remove immediately. Slap her. Leave house.

>Insert penis

umm...where?

d'you know that traps are gay?
pic rel8

ohhhh, it's a "girl"friend
never mind, chum. just turn 360° and suck her cock, what are you, a fag?

In the biggest hole in her pant.

pants have 3 holes, two for the feet and one bigger for the waist.

how does a dog wear them, though?

As I recall, it's the waist.

what about pockets? or the fly?

have sex with her idiot

pockets is the kinky stuff.

they're smaller holes

Ugly probably.

Well first off your gay. Sorry to tell you. Best break up with him now if he's tryna fuck you.

Well why are you with her? If she is a trap and you have avoided having sex what do you want out of this relationship.

Call her a degenerate and take her to church. Pre-marital sex is wrong.