I've been fucking this girl for about 3 months.
Over the course of these past three months it was revealed to me that she has a particular interest in BDSM/bondage and simulated rape. Last night, I asked her if she would be my slave and move in with me.
She said, "Yes. Definitely."
I've new to this. I've never had a slave before. How do I protect myself legal?
Is there some form of contract I can get her to sign, limiting my liability? If there is, where do I get it?
Other urls found in this thread:
bdsmcontracts.org
bdsmcontracts.org
twitter.com
I can't determine if this is bait or OP is really this fucking stupid.
If bati...well played, sir!
Why is this stupid?
Hide a camera and film all the encounters. Make sure she does or says something to show that it was consensual.
have a safe word and stop when she says it ya dip
>be me
>31 years old at that time
>brother and his wife goes to jail for cooking meth
>i was given temporary custody of my niece
>her name is Amy
>she is 11 at the time
>i don't have kids of my own
>i don't know what to do with her
>she's always following me
>watching me
>asking stupid fucking questions
>her parents get sentenced to 10 years
>FML
>i need to get rid of her
>a few months go by
>i'm getting fond of her
>we start cuddling watching TV
>she has nightmares
> i let her sleep in my bed sometimes
>i start noticing her body
>she is beautiful physically in every way
>just so young
>it's hard to control urges
>one night everything changes
continue?
Well, fuck, there you go, OP. If it's on the interweb it is totally legally binding!!!
I think it's cute that you believe a judge would ever allow a jury to see those recordings.
cute? but not in a gay way, right cowboy?
Not as cute as you pretending you know a damn thing about the legal system.
Doesn't this girl have a wonderful childhood. Both parents in prison and being forced to stay with a rapey uncle hahaha.
>confirmed for illiterate
The cops/DA could see the recordings and decline to press charges.
This could bolster any follow-up civil case as well.
I screenshotted this whole story the first time it was posted
How much cotton can she harvest in a 14 hour shift?
everyone did
>one night we are watching a movie on the laptop
>waiting on a pizza delivery
>i'm sitting on end of couch
>she has a pillow on my lap while laying flat with stomach down
>Amy asks "what's taking so damn long?"
>i instinctively smack her ass
>she smiles and bites her lower lip
>she asks "what was that for?"
>i giggled and said "bad girls get spanked"
>she said "get used to it" and giggled
>i smacked her again but leave my hand there this time
>she wiggled her butt a bit, smiles and bites her lower lip again
>so fucking sexy
>the doorbell rings
>pizza time
>she takes the pizza and sets it on a foot stool
>i pay the man
>we go in same positions and finish the movie while eating
>a piece of sausage rolls of her pizza
>it lands between my legs
>she goes for it
>her right hand roaming for it a good 10 seconds
>i'm trying not to get hard
>but i can't stop it
>she grazes my dick
continue?
You're kind of "special," aren't you...
We want to know OP
continued
>she farts out of her cunt
The end.
>open chaturbate account
>buy a lush vibrator and set it up
>wax her pussy and asshole
>tie her securely to a bed while gagged and legs spread
>tape lush vibrator directly to her clit using medical adhesive tape
>start stream
>watch as tips start rolling in while she cums over and over again uncontrollably
>occasionally fuck her
>???
>Profit
Shut the fuck up. This story isnt even that good pedo
rolling for this
That's actually not a bad idea
you got better?
>she grabs it by the shaft
>she lifts her head up and sees what she has in her hand
>"oh" she says and lets go of it
>then she says "bad girl" and points her little ass up
>i'm fully erect
>i smack it good
>she jumps a bit
>but she is smiling and looking right at me
>she says "i'm sorry Uncle user"
>"accidents happen" i reply and wink at her
>she rubs her butt a bit and giggles
>the pillow is levitating from my stiff pecker
>every once in a she points her butt up and i smack it
>she giggles everytime
>i want to do more
>i must control myself
>the movie ends and i say "bath time"
>she protests but does what she's told
>i hear the bath water running
>i start a porn
>rub one out
>i must have fallen asleep
>i wake up
>Amy is sitting in front of the laptop
>i hear the sounds of fucking
continue?
Double Dubs. Start the account.
continued
>she defecates out of her cunthole
Continue?
>she has a particular interest in BDSM/bondage
Wow, cool, she's the most generic woman on fucking Earth.
>i feel like i just got busted
>i don't move an inch
>to my surprise she continues to watch
>she doesn't even blink
>it's like she is memorized
>i have to do something
>i formulate a plan
>i ask "do you want me to tuck you in?"
>she spins around
>she is clearly startled
>but still looking back at the screen
>she asks "Uncle user, are they wrestling?"
>"sort of" I reply laughing
>"why are they naked?" she questions back
>i answered "they are alone at home and some people don't wear clothes at home"
>"oh, do i have to wear clothes?" she wonders out loud
>"if we are alone, you don't have to" i quickly respond
>she looks back at the screen
>a girl is in the doggie style position
>she's getting slammed good
>my niece asks "is he hurting her?"
>i answer "no she likes to wrestle"
>the girl yells "FUCK ME"
>the man smacks her ass hard
>Amy grins and asks "was she being bad?"
>"oh yeah she's very naughty" i said laughing
>"can we wrestle?" she asks while returning her eyes back to me
>i say "we'll talk about it tomorrow cause it's bedtime"
continue?
Finish my man so I can finally sleep
>S.W.A.T. team breaches through the window
If real this, but also whore her out for money on CL as well.
This
implying i'm american
>that night Amy wakes me up
>she says "i had a bad dream Uncle user"
>i just lift the blanket and she crawled into bed
>she was wearing a Sponge Bob nighty
>i leave the laptop on when i sleep for background noise and light
>in the dim light it looks like she takes her panties off and drops them on the floor
>i say nothing
>i'm laying on my side facing her
>she told on her side and backs into me
>i put my left hand under my pillow and right hand on her hip
>i kiss the top of her head and say goodnight
>she feels so good in my arms
>she kept backing into me
>she can't get closer
>ragingboner.exe
>she stops moving
>my cock rests against her barley clothed ass checks
>she let's out a soft sigh then giggles
>i ask "what is so funny?"
>she says "i think you want to wrestle"
>she wiggles her ass a little bit
continue?
Damn
holy shit dude. Would I peg you for a bdsm slave owner if i met you?
also
>my mind is racing
>she's just a kid
>i can't do this
>"you are too young to wrestle" i say coldly
>she quickly spins around
>she snaps back "i've wrestled before.. kinda"
>"where? when? with who?" i questioned
>she sits up and replies "with daddy in the semi a few times"
>WTF.jpeg
>her dad drove semis before he went to prison
>"what did you do?" i quickly replied
>"wrestled kinda. like in your movie. i wrestled his thing. dad calls it his cock."
>i had to ask "just like in the movie?"
>Amy said "in the beginning where she puts his thing in her mouth. we did that"
>i laughed and said "it's called a blow job or cock sucking. did you like it?"
> she bit her lower lip and said "yeah. he said i'm good at it too"
>"is that all you did?" i interrupted her
>"well Uncle user he liked it when i was naked. he says my butt is the cutest he ever saw. what do you think about it?"
>she rolls over and lifts her nighty
>just what i thought
>no panties
continue?
fuck me keep posting
Nobody pegs me. I don't like butt stuff.
>her bare ass was amazing
>soo tiny
>flawless
>"he is absolutely right. you are so bad"
>i had to smack it
>i left a hand print
>she moaned and turned to me
>she first looked down at my very noticeable erection in my shorts
>then looked up at me with those big blue eyes
>innocently she asked "so can we wrestle?"
>my mind can't compute
>i know it is wrong
>but my body spoke for itself
>"i can get into trouble. you are too young" i said trying to convince myself
>she smiles with this sly half smile and says "not if we don't tell anyone. it will be our secret."
>i am torn
>"i don't know" I say with doubt out loud.
>"PLEASE UNCLE user!"
>does she really know what she is begging for?
>i look down at her
>she looks up at me
>those eyes sealed her fate
>i feel defeated and like i won the lottery at the same time
>i kiss her forehead
>i put my right hand on her cheek
>she looked up at me bitting her lower lip again
>i kiss her
>she moans as i peck her lips with mine
>i open my mouth and lick her lips
>she opens her mouth and licks my tongue
>i am so horny that i feel i might pass out
>i'm in heaven
continue?
yeah i cant wait for this part
>but it's too much
>i can't rape my niece
>i quickly get up out of bed
>"Uncle user, where are you going?"
>"You have to go back to your room," I say
>i walk over to the doorway
>i open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>at this point there is no turning back for me
>100% committed to enjoying my new fuck toy
>she kissed like a pro
>what else can she do like a pro?
>she starts sucking on my tongue
>like a little dick
>i reach down and slowly pull up her nighty
>she lifts herself up to help
>i pull it over her head
>and that is when it happened
>when i saw her completely nude
>my mind snapped
>i knew i was going to wreck her
>i am going to take her virginity
>or am I?
>has my brother beat me to it?
>time will tell soon enough
>her body was angelic
>her long blonde hair
>her big blue eyes
>her soft lips
>her hardened little pink nipples
>her perfectly fit abdomen
>her completely hairless pussy
>it looks flawless
>snap.exe
>i take my own shorts off
>my dick has never been harder
>she looks down at my cock and gasped
>her eyes got huge
>she says "why is it so big?"
>laughing i reply "is it?"
>"that is twice as big as daddies" she says as she reaches for it
continue?
>twice as big huh?
>yeah that sounds right
>i think back to highschool
>when my brother and i used to suck each other off
>because we were faggots.
checked
>my brother has half of my dick lol
>i'm high from lust
>her little hands are holding my cock
>her fingers exploring
>her breathing gets more rapid
>she repositions herself
>her head now lays on my chest looking down at my rock hard pecker
>i am stoking her hair and playing with her earlobes
>i just let her go at her own pace
>the suspense is killing me
>she moves her head down father
>it now rests on my stomach
>she moves her feet next to my head
>she moves a bit further down
>she is so close to my now hurting erection that I can feel her breath on it
>i ask "can reposition you"
>"mmmhhmmm" is all she gets out as she kissed the head of my cock
>i pull one of her legs over to the other side of me
>we are now in the 69 position with her on top
>i have the best view in the world
>her pussy is tiny but swollen
>her asshole impossibly perfect
>i can't believe it but she is clearly wet
>her little love lips are barely open
>inviting me in
>i see her juice building and that swollen little clit
>i take a big sniff
>jesus take the wheel
>i make a move
>i kiss her gently right between her asshole and pussy
>she moans as she kissed the tip again
>i feel her take my cock into her mouth
>just the head
>it was so warm and wet
>i grab two handfuls of ass cheeks
>i slowly run my tongue from the top of her mound all the way to her puckered asshole
>her legs shook as I passed her clit
>i smack her ass
>she moans with my head in her mouth
>i almost came right then
>i was ready to up the ante
continue?
faggot
>Amy must have really liked that
>she puts her little hands under my balls
>she starts rubbing and massaging them
>with her other hand she grabs my shaft
>slowly working up and down
>my swollen prick head deep in her mouth
>i feel the back of her throat
>i can't take much more
>i focus back on her pleasure
>i drive my tongue into her asshole
>she puckers up and lets out a big moan
>at first she pulls away
>but then she pushes her ass into my face
>i keep my tongue stiff as she backs into it
>she pulls away and does it again
>i join her rhythm
>i am tongue fucking her asshole
>she is face fucking me
>she lifts her head back and lets out a big moan
>"oh Uncle user this feels so good. am I doing it right?" she asks
>then put the head back into her mouth
>i remove my tongue from her butthole
>i say "yes Amy. it's perfect. i'm going to try something else, ok?"
>she just nodded and kept working my dick
>i slid her down a bit so her head is directly over my cock
>i spit on her asshole
>i lick my thumb and then rub it on her perfect pink button
>i use my other hand and rub around her pefect pussy
>teasing it by avoiding her engorged clit and slippery hole
>working the lips and rubbing her butthole with my thumb
>i add pressure and start working the thumb in
>her shitter puckers at first but soon opens up
>i slid the tip in
>she let's out a massive moan
>"oh yes. i like that" she blurted as she starts working me again
>she increases her speed
>i graze her clit with my other thumb
>her legs shake and pushes back into the thumb in her ass
>she takes it to the first knuckle and stops
>she leans forward and backs back into it taking it a little further
>meanwhile she is working my cock like a pro
>firmly gripping my shaft
>fluid up and down motions
>twisting her head and using alot of tongue
>time to make this fuck toy cum
continue?
are you even trying?
>she moves her head down father
Father, hear my story... she moves her head down.
Where are the fucking mods?
If they were up your ass you'd know it.
>binding
fapping.
Nah. Keep posting bro. I'll shut up.
kek
what rule are you implying has been violated?
>i use my index and middle finger to spread her pussy open
>then i start working her clit while rubbing my thumb over her dripping wet hole
>everytime i touch her clit she shakes and bucks toward my hands
>she now has most of my thumb in her asshole
>she tries to put more of my prick into mouth
>she has about 2 of the 8 inches in there
>she starts twisting her hands as she jerks me off
>i feel my balls start to rise
>my head feels like it's about to burst
>i start rubbing her clit with a little pressure
>her legs start to shake violently
>i remove the one thumb from her warm wet opening and use the thumb in her clit
>her whole body is convulsing
>i start slamming my other thumb into her asshole
>her head drops down onto my raging hard on
>she chokes
>i feel the release getting close
continue?
This guy has his tongue in an 11 year old girl's ass. That rule..
>everything on this site is fiction
You are posting too slowly
I thought it was about pictures/videos though. Not text.
Communicate often and at length about what it is she wants and expects.
It may seem like I'm saying "leave nothing to chance" and to an extent that's _true_, but what I'm really trying to impress on you strongly is the need for not only communication, but lots of it.
REALLY ASK, what she likes. REALLY TELL her, what it is you like about BDSM and what you don't.
don't fuck up.
don't get power hungry. She's always gonna be the one in control. be aware and confident in that fact. It's always gonna be her choice, ultimately.
stfu nigger. i had my thumb up there too.
>i full on attack her clit
>she yells " OH UNCLE user SOMETHING IS HAPPENING. DON'T STOP. PLEASE DON'T STOP! AAAAAAAHHHHH"
>her body completely stiffens and shakes
>I keep working her clit and remove my thumb from her tight little butthole
>her juices run down her pussy and onto my chest
>she plops down on me and lets out a huge sigh
>"what was that? i feel dizzy and my insides shake" she says with winded exhaustion in her voice
>i giggled and replied "you just came and i just won the wrestling match"
> "oh yeah?" Amy said as she gobbles down on my dick again
>she's getting a good 3 inches in her mouth
>working it like she's been doing it for years
>i fucking lose it
>i push the back of her head firmly down and unload into her throat
>i feel her mouth full with cum
>to my surprise she starts swallowing
>she is moaning and milking my cock
>Amy sucked every drop from my balls
>she lifts her head and giggles
>"did i do good? did i win?" she loudly whispers to me
>"yeah, you did great. you win.. for now"
>i slap her ass
>she lets out another big sigh, bites her lip and closes her eyes
>within a minute she was out cold
>i whisper "sweet dreams my little fuck toy"
>i reach over and grab the GoPro
>i stop the video
>the next morning i upoad on my laptop
>i then upoad it to dropbox
trips and i post the link
and GO!
Been here since summer, have you?
Wasn't even reading that crap.
LOL rolling
This will not happen. gg tho
Sounds like the typical lolicon comic
weak
Look, it's easy.
Safe words/phrases.
If her mouth is bound or whatever, give her a red ball or something like that she can drop. Make sure it's something you'd notice in the moment, either due to sight or sound; whatever works best for you.
The end.
rollin
you don't have the balls son
lol you wont
No I think he's worried about the whole, say the relationship goes sour, she claims he ties her up and rapes her, hell she even has the bruises to prove it!
Hence why he likes the idea of a contract
...
Consider every post in the following story a roll. If trips is rolled, you better deliver, nigger. Anyway, The Best of WhenIWas, from 2008 (The "It's IncesTuesday Somewhere" Edition!)
0
When I was a young boy
my mom got scared and said
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
Nah, just trollin.
But now that I have your attention, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of incest in Bon Air.
Welcome to IncesTuesday!!!
This is a "slow burn" story. There is a lot of backstory to how we got to where we did. If you have ever written "tl;dr" in response to anything that wasn't absolute fail, and meant it, then this thread is not for you. There will be no pictures of me or anyone involved. No tits, ass, vagoo, or cock will be shown. (At least, not by me.) All names have been changed to protect the guilty and innocent alike.
And remember, this is all just a work of fiction anyway. This never even happened. And if it had, I'd never admit to it. And neither would she. Only a fool, etc.
With that said, let the fail begin. But remember, just like coal can make a diamond, enduring enough fail can sometimes pay off in pure win.
ok
1
For those of you old enough to remember the early 90s, just let your mind carry you back. For those who aren't, let me set the stage: Kurt Cobain was still a year or two away from blowing his brains out. Stone Temple Pilots were huge, mainly because people thought they sounded like Pearl Jam. Snoop Dogg and Dre were what all the pot-smoking wiggers were listening to. Beavis and Butthead were on MTV making fun of all of them. Clinton had just gotten in the White House and nobody knew who Monica Lewinsky was. Instead of flying planes, someone drove a van into the World Trade Center to blow it up, but the towers still stood. The Internet was something that only universities, the military, and people with AOL, Compuserve, and Prodigy knew about. Street Fighter II was the hot game the snesfags were playing. Chrono Trigger was a distant point on the horizon. Yes, even The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was in full swing. Times seemed good.
Eh, if she goes that route, she can always claim she signed under duress.
A bdsm relationship where you don't trust the other person is a huge problem waiting to happen.
1
For the sake of this story, let's just call me Jack. I was a below average teenager: a little overweight and just starting to discover the wonderful world of acne. I didn't play sports, but I liked to draw a lot and I was already into anime. I had been brought up on a steady diet of Speed Racer, Star Blazers, and Voltron in my early childhood, topped off with Vampire Hunter D, Robot Carnival, and Lensman in my teen years.
If I had known what goth was, I might have been a stupid goth kid. Emo? If it existed yet, it was still actual honest-to-God hardcore, and only the hardcore kids had heard of it. No, I wore flannel over my teeshirt with my ripped jeans, cuz I thought I was "grunge". The grunge kids at my school really didn't have much to do with me though. And girls? Forget it! I was in the untouchable caste. Well, except one pathetic fail case, but I'll gloss over that later.
The fact that I had essentially no luck with any member of the opposite sechs had me labelled as a faggot from just about day one. That and the fact that my only real friend at that point was Larry, a fellow dork who was obsessed with Ninja Turtles, his SNES, and drawing comics.
2
Like most boys, when I was much younger (Now we're going back to the Reagan and Bush41 years! Rad!), I had the typical attitude about girls: Who needs 'em? They have cooties, etc. I think I shed this attitude a little later than most boys, which may have been part of my problem. But there was one girl who I never felt that way about. And that was my cousin Nancy.
She was a total tomboy, through and through. She was a few years younger than me, and the fact that she was a girl was just incidental. Our mothers were identical twins, and we lived within walking distance of each other in the same subdivision. I'd usually just ride my bike down to her house, until we got older. After that, she'd ride to my house, or we'd just ride around the neighborhood.
Her dad had been a cop. When she was four, he died in the line of duty. A few years later, my dad ran off with the mom of some guy I went to school with. I kinda became Nancy's only real male role model. (God help her!)
We'd stomp through the woods and the swamps around the area and were just like a couple of boys being boys. Except that she was a girl. But again, it was something that hadn't entered my mind then.
3
I remember we had both seen some movie where this white woman was in Africa and was dancing with all these tribal women who were all topless. (I think it was King Solomon's Mine, but I could be wrong.) We didn't see this movie together, but we had both seen it at some point, and we got to talking about it. And she laughed, and said something about "all those ladies dancing with their boobies hanging out."
And I was just getting old enough at that point (still some time in the 80s) to be aware of boobies. And I told her, "Yeah, well one day you're gonna have boobies too!" And we just laughed. I think it was at that moment that I suddenly became really, truly, viscerally aware of the fact that my little cousin was a girl. And she was starting to become pretty. If this were some Hollywood movie, the laughter would have nervously stopped, and we would have stared deep into each others' eyes as the foreshadowing music began to play. But as it really happened, we just laughed, I had my brief epiphany, and then I forgot about it. We went on around the woods to cavort and quest like we always did.
True but have it done in front of an actual lawyer, hell have her clearly be seen helping out with the contract, making specific requests, or agreeing
5
Once, when we were swimming down at the family beach cottage (and when I say "beach", I really mean a riverbank), she and I were the only ones in the water. Just being daring/silly/whothehellknows, I said, "You can't play submarine, cuz you don't have a periscope!" And then I poked my little 11/12 y/o peenor out of the water. Her eyes got really big, and the look on her face was really funny. But she was 8, and despite the overwhelming consensus of most incest stories, I don't think she was sexually aware at the time. I can't even entertain the thought that she was remotely aroused. I think she was just confused.
Now this is the part where I would say I told her to come over and touch it and then suck on it, and then we fucked in the water, and then we fucked every day after that, and then we all fucked our moms and I call it the Aristocrats! But no, anything even approaching that was still a long way off. Fate is a cruel bastard like that.
8
Around the time I was 12 or 13, her mom got a job in another state. Nancy, my little cousin and closest friend, was leaving. I was saddened by it, probably at least as much as she was. But I didn't want to let it show. I was at that age where boys try really hard to be tough badasses (even dorks like me). I was all aloof and shit. I was just starting to act like a teenager.
And of course, at around 9 years old, she was just starting to act like a girl. She had never worn dresses of her own free will, but now she was starting to. And I was starting to see her as "just a little girl". At least, that was the front I was putting up for those guys I thought were my friends. Oh, if I had known then...
So it wasn't until the very last morning that I could see her, that I actually went over to her house to say goodbye. We were in her room. It was all empty, cuz everything was all packed up in the big yellow Ryder truck out front. And we were just kinda standing there, trying awkwardly to talk to each other. And she was wearing this little sun dress that had all these pink and green flower things all over it.
13
I remember thinking that it was too big for her. And she saw a little Barbie shoe that she had missed during packing, and she bent over to pick it up. It was like a magical moment where all time stood still and the light of Heaven shone down from above. The term "downblouse" still had many years to reach my vocabulary. And it was a dress, not a blouse. And thankfully, it *was* just a little too big for her.
Her dark brown hair was just long enough to reach her shoulders. Luckily for me, it was not long enough to block what I saw. It was like her parting gift to me. Down the front of that dress, I saw two perfectly-formed little points, tipped with very pale pink puffy little nipples. I don't remember, now, whether or not I popped a boner at the time.
They were very small and pointy. And it seemed that she hung there, bowing to me while she tried to pick up this trivial object for minutes on end, although it couldn't have been more than two seconds before she stood up again. But those tiny little boobs hanging there had seemed to shout, "LOOK AT US, YOU PERVERT!" The view of her little 9yo tits was seared into my memory forever.
21
Go figure. It was right at this time that her mom yelled out, "Nancy! Come on! It's time to go." She was still holding this little tiny plastic shoe and she started crying.
Dumbass moment: "What's the matter?" I asked.
She started sobbing gently, just a little bit... this made her seem all the more vulnerable than if she had wailed like a baby. And me being a stupid 12/13 year old, I couldn't have articulated the feeling at the time. But it was affecting me. And for the first time ever, I reached out and hugged her.
It did not feel like a bag of sand or pennies. It was truly wonderful.
Thinking back, it seems strange that, in all the time we had played together, and all the years we had known each other, I had never embraced my cousin physically. It felt divine. It was not like hugging my mom or my aunt. Her little nine year-old body almost seemed frail. And I was still recovering from the shock of seeing her budding preteen breasts for the first time.
She still cried softly, and said, "We're never going to see each other again."
"Sure we will," I said. It's amazing how, when you're that age, the idea of trying to be tough and badass can swing wildly from being an aloof prick to being a sensitive yet strong romantic. In reality, I was still just a stupid boy with one foot barely in his teen years.
"You know my address. You can write to me," I mumbled.
34
"Yeah, I guess so," she said, still sobbing into my shoulder.
"It's gonna be okay. We can see each other again some day."
And as soon as I said "some day", I knew just how far apart we were going to be.
It was at this point that I did the most daring thing I had ever done up until then. I pushed her away from me just a little bit, but gently so.
She stared up into my face with her tear-streaked blue eyes. I had never, until that moment, realized just how gorgeous those eyes were.
And I bent down and kissed her right on the mouth.
I didn't do it like I had seen on TV. Not that open-mouthed, tongue monster shit. No, it was just a peck on her lips from mine. See, even at that point, I was not aware of being sexually attracted to her, even after having just seen her... uh... finer points. And, never having had any siblings, I just thought that it was a brotherly kiss. And it had the desired effect, because her little 9 year-old face smiled hopefully up at me.
And, trying to be big and bad, yet strong and romantic, or whatever it was I was trying to be, I said, "I love you, Nancy."
And she said, "I love you too, Jack!"
And I hugged her again. And she said, "I'll miss you."
And I said "I'll miss you too."
DAMN! So close!
55
We walked out of her room together. We stopped at the bathroom and I got some toilet paper and dabbed at the tears on her face. Our moms were waiting in the empty den of the empty house with the front door open, and the big yellow truck waiting outside.
And if I had had words for it, I would have thought "There's never enough time."
If anybody noticed that she had been crying, they didn't mention it. I think our mothers had been crying too. But I wasn't paying attention to them. I had eyes only for Nancy.
We all said "goodbye". Outside, we closed the door to that house, and the fun times I had known in it, forever. It was as if something within me was awakening, but it was being taken away before I could even figure out what it was. Nancy and her mom got into that truck and drove away from the cul de sac. As they turned the corner to where I could no longer see them, it was as if they had ridden off into the sunset.
My mom drove back to our house, and I rode my bike back. I numbly helped her get some things out of her car that my aunt had given her. And I knew it was stupid to pine for my little cousin, because: sure she was my friend, but she was just a girl after all, and look at the way she had cried; it wasn't like we were never going to see each other again.
For something I tried to convince myself was so unimportant, I couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the torturously long day. That night, I cried myself to sleep. I was too sad to even fap to the memory of what I had seen. (Of course, at that point in my life, the word "fap" did not even exist for me. Plus, I hadn't done very much of it yet.)
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The days went by. I got over it.
The weeks went by. I got a letter fron Nancy.
She seemed happy enough. They had gotten settled in, and she was just starting at her new school. She had made some new friends. She was doing well. Etcetera. I made plans to write her back. I even got out a pencil and paper. But I didn't know what to write.
Then, since I was such a computer whiz kid (that's what they called us back then, as "geek" was still an insult) I decided I'd write a letter to her on the computer! How cool would that be? And I wrote all about how school was okay here, but it was boring, and I had met this new kid, Larry, who had just transferred in and he seemed cool because he was into Nintendo like me, and I think maybe I liked this one girl (and I did, that was true, but that failed very quickly, so she's not even worth a pseudonym), and somehow I filled a couple of black screenfulls with green text.
And I just kind of ended it and said, Love, Jack. And the stupid old dot matrix printer's paper was jammed. So I was fiddling with it, trying to get all the little holes to line up on the paper tractor. (You kids with your damn plain paper printers! You don't know how good you have it!) In the process, I bumped something and everything flickered off for half a second.
This included the computer.
It rebooted. And this whole huge letter, that I had painstakingly typed, one finger at a time, was gone. If only I had taken the time to find a stupid floppy disk to save it on. (Yes, this was the dark ages.)
I jumped up and down and screamed. I yelled "SHIT!" because it was a big deal for me to cuss when I was 13.
And I just gave up. Nancy never got a letter from me.
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And time flies, whether you're having fun or not. At least this is true in retrospect. The years dragged on at the time.
School was okay, and then it sucked, and then it was okay, and then it sucked. Lather, rinse, repeat. I had few real true friends. Some people thought my drawing and computer skills were "neat", but there was nothing about me that interested girls. It wasn't for lack of trying, that's for damn sure. But I went to a private school, and once I had tried hitting on most of the girls in my class as well as a few younger girls, I was known to everyone. I had that awful stigma of desperation.
Plus, my new friend Larry was at least as much of a dork as I was, and we were always playing Nintendo and HeroQuest (google/wiki it) and watching Ninja Turtles. The company you keep...
The period from the end of the 80s to the beginning of the 90s all blurs together for me. For one, I had almost forgotten about Nancy. I was sure she had pretty much forgotten me, due to the fact that I had only ever received the one letter from her.
I could go on about my misery during this time period, and the lack of girls.
Actually, when I was almost 15, I was miraculously invited to a party. Straight out of a young adult novel, we played spin-the-bottle. I ended up kissing this fat chick, but aside from "ZOMG! I JUST KISSED A GIRL!", I like to forget about that.
I could go on about the utter fail of geekdom/dorkdom, and the fact that the advent of girls wearing shirts that say "I love dorks" came along about a decade too late for me. But that is not what this story is about. Instead, I will fast forward to the time period where I originally started. The early 90s. And this is where it finally starts getting better.
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I had just gotten off the bus and saw my mom's car in the driveway. She had gotten off work early that day.
Teenage dork that I was, I was getting ready to watch Ninja Turtles. My mom was on the phone and I heard her say my aunt's name. I saw her glance in my direction and say, "Oh, that was Jack. He just got home."
I didn't pay much more attention until she called my name, and told me to come into the next room.
"Whhhaaaaaaat?" I droned, having been interrupted from my afternoon viewing.
Not liking my tone of voice, my mother gave me that superior look. Enunciating it like some erudite bitch, she said, "There is someone on the phone who would like to speak with you."
Assuming it was going to be my aunt, I took the receiver from my mother.
"Hello?" I inquired, nonplussed.
"Hi, Jack!" said this very cute feminine voice. It was followed by this wildly adorable giggle.
My mind was at a loss. I did not recognize the voice, but I was almost--not quite, but almost--in love with it, right then and there.
"Who is-?" and then, firing up into turbo mode, my brain made the connection. "Nancy?!"
That adorable, heart-melting, boner-inducing giggle again. Well, it might have induced a boner had my mother not been standing right there with a satisfied smirk on her face. It had been three years, and this voice was not the one I had heard in that empty room. It was still young, but with just the faintest trace of womanhood creeping in.
"Yeah-uhhhhhh" she said, best vally girl impersonation ever, at my tardy deduction of the glaringly obvious.
"Hey, what's up?" I said, trying to regain some of my self-perceived coolness.
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"You don't know, do you?!" she giggled again.
"Know what?" I inquired. With my mom still smirking at me, and this beautiful voice snickering at me over the phone, I began to feel like the butt of some private joke.
"We've moving back hooooooome!!!!!!" she squealed.
Again, my slow teenage brain didn't register at first. Then, when her words clicked in my head, my heart lept. It would be too easy to say my dick did too, but it really didn't, Mom still standing there and all.
I was elated. I did not realize it until that moment, but I had missed Nancy for all these years. Okay, it was only three years, but to a 16 year-old, that's almost a quarter of a lifetime!
"That's great! When are you gonna get here?"
"We're flying out tomorrow! And you're gonna have to sleep on the couch, cuz IIIII'M stealin'yer BEHHHHHHHH-EDDD!!!" She said that last part like "naaaaaa-na-na-boooo-booo".
Turns out that my aunt had made quite a name for herself at her new company. And she had gotten a few promotions and raises over the past three years.
When the company started building a new regional headquarters right in our city, she was tapped to be the regional manager.
Instead of having to rent a truck and drive her stuff back, she was going to hire someone else move their shit. They were going to fly out first class. She and Nancy were going to spend the next few nights at our house!!
As if this wasn't epic enough (and at that point in my life, "Epic" was still only the title of a Faith No More song), the house next door had been on the market for a few months now. My aunt was buying it, and they were moving in, right next fucking door!
My mom had known this for weeks, but hadn't bothered to tell me. Dysfunctional much?
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That night, I could hardly sleep. This was for a couple of reasons. First off, I was excited at the prospect of seeing the other half of my childhood adventures for the first time in three years. But even more so, I could not get that image of her tiny little pointy puffy-nippled breasts out of my head. I fapped myself to sleep and lost consciousness in a sticky puddle of my own skeet.
The next morning, I felt ashamed of what I had done. This is my *cousin* we're talking about. As I showered, I felt a little less guilty. And for some non-sequitur reason, as I was drying off and then putting on my clothes, I wondered what my dad was doing right then. I thought about the fact that, even though I didn't really have a dad anymore, I still did, technically, because he was still alive. He was just... elsewhere. My mom had had a few boyfriends by then, but none that stuck around.
But what about Nancy? Her mom didn't seem interested in dating anyone, at least not while she was here. My heart went out to Nancy. My anticipation of her arrival grew some more.
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I went through the day in my usual fog. People always seemed to tell me how smart and creative I was, but I never believed them (and I still don't). Despite this alleged intelligence, I was always getting Cs and Ds. At least I managed to avoid Fs. (Had I been aware of bra cup sizes at the time... nevermind, I don't know how to make that funny and keep it true to my taste.)
Larry and I ate lunch in the classroom, away from everyone else, like we always did. And as usual, lunch for me was a honey bun and a Mountain Dew. (And I wondered why I was getting chubby?)
I was not preconsumed with the fact that Nancy was coming back, but I did remember it on and off during the day. It made me happy. It carried me through an otherwise fail schoolday. I was still the same loser, with the same lofty dreams of being a comic book artist, computer programmer, or astronaut. But my day was a little brighter because of her.
how about more text?
INDEPENDENCE POST... Still no trips though...
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When I got home, they were already there. My mom and my aunt were sitting on the couch, cappucinos in hand, jabbering like they always used to. I slouched in, dropped my bookbag near the door and smiled and waved casually. I was always trying to be cool, and always failing hard. I walked into the living room and my aunt got up and greeted me warmly. I was glad to see her, no doubt. Even though she looked just like my mom, I always thought she was cooler somehow. Maybe it was because her hair was different. Maybe it was just because she wasn't my mom.
"How are you, Jack?" she said as she hugged me.
"I'm fine," I replied.
My mom inquired from the couch, "How was school?"
It was made of boring suck and fail, as usual.
"Fine," I lied. As usual.
Then, from the hallway, apparently having just gotten done in the bathroom, emerged this gorgeous twelve-going-on-thirteen year-old piece of jailbait ass. Immediately after seeing this smokin' hot girl, I realized that she was my tomboy cousin who had accompanied me through imaginary treks and adventures, fighting make-believe aliens, monsters, and robots in the forests for years. Nancy was back in my life. And I was thrilled in more ways than I could comprehend at the time. (16yo hormones don't help in situations like this.)
You want text? You've got a Trump-sized wall of it here already, motherfucker. Keep reading.
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"Hey!" I said, probably way too enthusiastically. Cool, I definitely was not.
"Hey," she said back, smiling.
She was wearing tight jeans and a white Led Zeppelin teeshirt. And I was really sincerely trying not to look, but she appeared to be wearing a bra. Wow.
In accordance with prophecy, Nancy had boobies. Not very big ones. In fact, if I had heard of a training bra at that point, I might have guessed that that was what she was wearing. But at that time in my life, I was still trying to convince myself that, like all the "cool" guys at school, I liked girls with big tits.
If I had really taken an honest look at the girls I had been attracted to at the time, though, I might have noticed a pattern of preference for delicious flat chest. But I digress. (Yeah, I do that a lot.)
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My aunt sat back down and she and my mom went right back to catching up. They went on about my aunt's job, and things Nancy had been doing in school, and whatever and...
"Jack?" my mom suddenly shot at me.
"Huh?" I asked. I had been standing there near the couch the whole time, and Nancy had been standing on the other side of the couch. It had to have been a couple of minutes that we were standing in our respective places.
"Why don't you see if Nancy would like anything to eat or drink?"
"Oh," I said, feeling really stupid, awkward, and embarassed.
"Um," I muttered, "you want anything?" I asked as I kind of shuffled my way toward the kitchen. Did I mention I had no social skills and really no concept of how to interact with normal people?
Nancy, still all smiles, and still apparently happy to see me, asked, "Can I have a Coke?"
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Right then, shuffling my way to the kitchen, I wanted nothing more than to just be alone with Nancy, so we could just be ourselves, and play like we used to. Except, when put to it, I guess I didn't really want to play like that anymore. I just wanted to hang out. But I really didn't have a concept of "hanging out" yet. Did I mention my social retardation?
In the kitchen, I fumbled through the fridge looking for a Coke.
"Uh, we have Pepsi," I informed her.
"That's fine. They taste the same to me anyway."
"Yeah, me too," I said.
I got two cold cans of Pepsi from the refrigerator, and handed one to her. With my coolness radar wildly miscalibrated, I just decided to fly blind, and act like myself.
"Let's go to my room," I suggested.
"Okay," she said.
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We went into my disheveled cave. Papers, clothes, science fiction magazines, Nintendo Power magazines, computer parts, and yes, I admit it, even some Legos littered practically every square inch of my floor. One particular piece of paper was a lame drawing I had done when I should have been doing a math assignment (or was it history?) and she just picked it right up.
"This is really cool!" she said.
Of all the stupid things, it was a poorly sketched Voltron with a passable Princess Allura and Keith in front of it. I was kind of embarassed, but a warmth of pride was welling up within me.
"Wow," she continued, "I forgot about Voltron! This is really good."
Paradoxically, the fact was she had just remembered Voltron, which we had watched a few times back in the day. And this fact caused me to fall just the slightest little bit more in like with her. But I tempered that by reminding myself that this was my *cousin* after all.
Aside from weaboo geek points, the fact that she had complimented me on my drawing made me feel really good. If anyone else had seen that picture and said the same thing, I would have dismissed it. But Nancy's words held gravity for me.