Walking in the woods

>walking in the woods
>see this
wat do?

>Take her home
>give her a bath
>Marry her
>buy a house
>have 3 kids
>2 boys and a girl
>find them a good school
>retire
>die

hide in the bushes and caw like a Crow while I jerk my little ding dong to blue planet on my laptop. Tell the girl to fuck off. I don't need those cooties. Girls are icky.

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run away.

then masturbate when home to the naked girl I saw in the woods.

you god damn better believe, son.

this but with sister wives

check my map, clearly ive been walking in circles.

Pause and sigh. I'll say "You are a pretty human but I no longer care about life or anyone to even have any sort of sexual attraction. The truth is I wanna die. I want to end my time on earth and I'm actually on my way to find a sturdy tree to hang myself. Maybe a steep cliff to toss myself off of. Hell maybe a wolf pack can tear me to shreds I dunno...i don't care either anymore. I really just wanna die. Nice tits but go home and stop being a deviant. Enjoy life while you can. Bye."

She'll blink and walk, putting on her clothes and being freaked out by some suicidal r9k

choke on my words and try to not see her as an object

Ask to take a selfie and give her my best hover-hand impression.

Same as anyone really, strike up a conversation, try my luck at getting her to put out, then based on outcome,
>consensual fuck in woods
or
>brutal raep and hide body

So, forest slut bread?

...

...

Shoot her in the head and proceed to rape her

Check my map, i must be walking in circles

Turn 360 degrees and run away

>holy fucking shit fuck those tits

Fuckin retard, if you turned 360 degres you would be facing the same directionn kill yourself

You forgot about the part where she cheats and divorce. So u lose the house and kids. And then you're left with a broken view on life!!!!

Proceed to stop using that fucking word unnecessarily.

Hi
You must be new(fag) here...

run and tell my mommy

call the police and tell them there is a crazy naked lady in the woods

>MFW this goddamn new...

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you must be new

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Convince her we are the last two people on Earth and need to go deeper into woods. Build her shelter and hunt her food. Breed her 4-5 times and raise the family far from civilization. Well educated and intellectual humans, but with survival skills of a pro. Eventually let the offspring go to never return. Die of old age shortly after she departs this Earth. We are eventually found by future civilization. I'vee left behind detailed accounts of our lives.

As a father I know that kid should be eating real(mashed) food by that size

Ask her if she's been shooped.

How are you going to survive in the woods when you can hardly survive in your mom's basement eating the hot pockets she brings you?

Trick on you faggots

No.
You.

I can tell nobody likes you in real life either.

False alarm guys! He was only pretending to be retarded!

>Take her home
>give her a bath
>Marry her

that escalated really fast

Read an English grammar book to continue pursuing correct speech patterns and learn spelling for typing coherently.

Holy shit you completely devastated me with your wit. If you're going to try and be 1. Hurtful or 2 funny, at least out some effort into it.

Wife and kids like me just fine

Forest nymphs, user. Forest nymphs.

inna woods

>politely thrust mein cock between those hangers

hehe'd

Same diff. Ever hear of a nymphomaniac? :)

It's obviously a trap (an actual trap not the boipucci kind). Turn around and keep walking

Say hi.

Hello Friendo

>getting counter-baited

Ask if i sleep in the hammock for a little while. Also tell her i cant sleep unless i ejaculate, maybe she can help out with that.

Kick her off the hammock and use it myself

You fucking idiot it was a counter counter bait, you know not what you have gotten yourself into.

...

>Forest nymphs
Tbh I kinda prefer sluts but I'm ok with a little classy nudity now and then, as long as it's outdoorsy.

this post and associated img

Thanks, I thought it was appropriate.

Thank you for the heartbreak, if only

Ah traditional European girls. Peak evolution we wuz vikangs and shieeeeeet

go back to Sup Forums

...

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mmmmmmmmmmmmm

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I shall browse where i please thank you.

Newfag

just do a 360 and walk away

...

ask her for sauce

Summer is early this year

so you're gay for varg huh

No it is a pagan ritual where our magic rods touch and is not gay.

>ask her why she is naked. then ill ask for directions coz im prolly lost.
>quickly turn around 360 degrees and walk the dinosaur

Not the same, these girls only have sticks to get off with.

any time a person walks about they get an itch that that stick cant scratch

gross

I also play myfatlog i mean myfarog with varg we roleplay in "primitive" clothing in the forest and cast spells of cream at one another.

murder then rape
no guilt

do you take him with you to temple ?

no he puts me on a traditional European leash (not sexual just pagan i promise) and drags me there because Wotan wills it or some shit i dunno i just want to suck his dick... but, ya kno for pagan purposes...

guess that's better than raping and eating children, good job moshe

no raping and eating of children here i swear. varg says he is stockpiling his children because europe but he keeps on sucking their heads i dunno but if it's traditional and pagan and wotan then it must be legit. 1488 lol. fyrstr.

your wasting taxpayer dollars dude, nobody here cares