The last blowjob you gave or received

The last blowjob you gave or received.

>be yesterday
>be paying xbox
>gf comes in from the other room and kneels down in front of me
>starts pulling at my pants
>I go to turn off the controller
>"keep playing. I'm not here."
>pulls my dick out
>resume playing xbox
>she slips my half erect dick gently into her mouth
>starts working gently while I harden up in her mouth
>starts feeling really good. put my controller down and start petting her head
>she pulls off. mischievous look in her face. "no. I'm not here."

continue?

The last one I received was two days ago. The last one I gave was about 15 years ago.

keep goin

>15 minutes ago
Come here woman, I'm hard
>gf smiles and sucks me off like a good little slut

i'd stop immediately and ask her what she did wrong, what expensive useless thing she bought, or what the heck she wants me to do i don't wanna do.
no women with a clear mind would suck unwashed dick for nothing.

continuing

>she just sits there looking at me
>oh I get it, this is a game
>resume playing
>she takes me back in her mouth
>working me slowly and gently
>stealth mission, hard to concentrate
>get killed, have to reload. This solicits a giggle from her
>try to put the controller down while loading screen
>she stops and gives me that look again
>fuuuuuck

I just realized I only got my dick sucked by my gf like five times this whole fucking year

Fuck this faggot
Wife that whore.

Last night gave/received. Now the bi guy I hooked up with wants a threesome. Shows some promise.

FAGGGOTTTT

Last Sunday. Birthday weekend, tied my gf up, blindfolded her and face fucked her. She swallowed. First time in 10 months. Accidentally broke the chain on the restraints afterwards and a toy died. Guess this is what I get for buying cheap shit.

>if I pay attention to her she stops paying attention to me
>ok, back to the game. ok, how do I get past these guys... where are the ventilation shafts...
>she starts deep throating me, to the hilt, pushing her nose into my crotch
>let out moan
>she fucking stops again. stairs at me
>OMG I can't even moan?

She probably cheated on him and feels bad. That's almost always why a girl would just blow a dirty dick for no reason.

Uh... last night my wife blew me for a bit and sucked my balls. Jumped up and cowgirled at the end for a creampie. She's a keeper.

>never had his dick sucked

>basement dweller trying to ruin someones fun because hell never get any

kill yourself already faggot.

idk, about a month ago from a hooker

>be me last night
>super drunk
>wife says yes to sexy time
>she (almost) always does ftw
>starts with a bj
>I'm drunk so know I'll never nutt from only bj
>jump on top of her after about 10 mins
>getting hot after pumping away for another 5-10mins so get her to jump on top
>20ish mins later of her riding my cock like a champ I finally cum
mfw she can usually cum within 5 mins but did not cum last night

>just stairs at me with that look
>she's enjoying this almost as much as I am, lol
>resume focusing on game
>she starts working again
>I hold myself together for a few minutes
>just get into shoot out with bad guys and she starts aggressively deep throating me, basically bashing her face into me and holding it for a few seconds
>Jesus christ. let out loud moan. get killed in game
>this time she's actually laughing at me
>just rubbing my thigh until the game loads again. no contact with dick. She's totally in control

>recently separated from my wife
>haven't had sex in over three months after having it every other day for over a decade
>have great sex with a close friend
>close friend tells me she has grand mal seizures earlier in the day
>close friend goes down on me without me asking
>spend the entire time wondering if she's going to bite my dick off by accident
>go limp and cry myself to sleep

>getting baited this hard

top KEK

>So this goes on for a a bit when suddenly
>she just stops for no reason and stairs at me
>"What's wrong honey?
>"no *giggle* I'm not here."
>oh, so now were edging and stuff too
>lets me soften a bit, then resumes
>stops, lets me soften a bit, then resumes
>this also goes on for a while
>I'm fucking dying here

>being this new on Sup Forums

Lmao get out you fucking newfaggots.

I have a running joke with my wife. Every time i get out of the shower I just walk out and announce that I'm clean. If there are no kids around it results in a bj about 90% of the time.

The kids think I'm just a weirdo that likes to tell people I'm clean

>damage control

literally kill yourself, youll do the world a favour.

samefag

I'm gonna try to greentext one of the best blowjobs I ever had.

>Be me 21 yo, meet this 20 yo 8/10 girl with a 10/10 fat ass.
>We start dating and she's really shy around me, I go to her house and we usually just make out a lot but I don't wanna push it
>After like 3 or 4 times going to her house we finally have sex in the couch while her female friend is sleeping on her bed
>She gets really nervous and starts laughing while fucking, I think she's laughing about me or something and I get a little mad so I stop
>Tells me how she starts laughing everytime she gets nervous and tells me to forgive her
>Sure whatever
>Next day I go back to her place and we start drinking
>She gets kinda drunk and stops being shy
>Oh boy.jpeg
>We start making out in the living room, I grab her ass and before I can do anything she gets on her knees
>Takes out my fully erected cock and starts sucking like a fucking pro
>Realized the window was open and anyone could see us but she doesn't give a fucking, I realize this turns her on
>Grab her head and push her against the wall while I fuck her mouth
>She grabs me and turns me around
>Puts her face between my buttcheeks and takes a deep breath, I can hear her moaning
>Starts kissing my ass and putting her tongue in my anus

>I'm stifling moans and grunts and whines every time she mixes it up
>keeps edging me
>I'm just about ready to beg and plead. This is exactly what she wants, but if I do it she will just stop blowing and giggle at me.
>I've completely lost my ability to play my game now.
>die, load, die, load, etc...
>feel the chamber loading
>pretty soon I'm going to pop no matter what she does
>I think my whole body tensed
>know what she did? She just slowed right down. she slowed down!

the bitch!

>This is the hottest thing I've ever done and I can't believe it
>She's stroking my dick with one hand while eating my ass like a filthy whore
>I get her up, she gives me a confused look and I kiss her, we start making out again
>Take her to the bedroom and tell her to get on her knees again
>Grab her head and put her face against my ass again, she keeps eating eat while playing with my balls
>I can't help it and I go all four on the bed like a slut
>She keeps eating my asshole while grabbing my cock
>Ended up 69-ing and eating her ass too like a gentleman
>I cum in her mouth, make out again and fucked her once I got hard again

Bump

>be with someone I love
>almost peefect for each other
>hates giving blowjobs, only does it a handful of times per year
>is so clearly hating it that it becomes a turn off

I wouldnt leave her over that detail, but fuuuuuck I would kill for a decent bj

do u think women have like no sexual urges? fml hahaha

I know that feeling, my gf hates giving me blowjobs, worst part is I've met a lot of hot women who would gladly suck my dick but I try to be a faithful boyfriend and I don't wanna hurt her feelings.

>so now I must look like i'm getting electro shock therapy fucking tense and twitching and kind vibrating in place
>drop my controller
>wait for her to stop, but she doesn't
>yes yes yes yes yes fucking yes
>she's going painfully slow and my body is a guitar string, holding my breathe, trying not to make any sounds
>finally reach the threshold
>"err, I'm... gonna..."
>proceed to blast my internal organs out through my dick
>I came so hard I pulled a muscle in my hip
>just squirt after squirt after squirt
>even after cum stopped coming out I just kept spasming and spasaming.
>but now she won't stop
>ok, this is becoming unfomfortable
>"ok, ok baby, just take it easy now"
>"come on, that's enough, baby, please, it's too much"

>"ok, ok, stop now. stop now"
>have to actually grab her head but she's got me pinned on the the ikea chair and I can't escape
>proceed to pull her off my dick
>she's laughing out loud now

I'm glad it was fun for both of use. Orgasm of the fucking year.

Sounds great

>stairs at me

1/2
First and only time giving

> be me 18 drunk
> walking home from party bottle of vodka I swiped
> go through soccer ground
> nice night I'm tired wanna rest on the bleachers
> 2 mins, 5 mins or 2 hrs later who the fuck knows see someone walking my way
> am cautious because no state to defend myself if he wants to roll me
> he's gonna walk past, doesn't even notice me
> I call out 'howdy how's it going'
> he comes over sits down and I share my alcohol he shares cigarette
> talking about fuck knows what, he seems ok
> don't know him
> I can barely function my brains not working too good
> semi pass out couple times
> come to he's messing with me
> hands on my chest and face real close
> I'm like huh? wtf are you doing bro?
> he kisses my face and we swap saliva for a bit
> pushing hard against my junk, I push back coz it feels good
> no idea what to do here, not my thing.
> Everything spinning can't make sense of shit
> shut it down, push him off me. offer him vodka to calm his tits
> tell him its not cool, keep his hands to himself
> he just leans down and starts licking my ear and nibbling my neck
> fuck this feels good but I gotta stop it
> just one more minute, turn my head and let him keep going
> he tells me to turn and face him
> as I do this he stands up, he's got his cock out
> shit
> before I know it I've got a dick right in front of my face

Cont

I think that's a nice torture

I am very limber and can suck myself off. I will be doing so in a few minutes. I should have a big load of cum to swallow. Yummy

>stairs
why the ever living fuck do murricans fuck their own shit up?
this bothers me like "could of" and far more than that old your/you're thing
jesus
you state you're world police, and thank god my country has no oil
no wonder everyone hates murrilards

>goes on grammar tirade
>is retarded

thanks
oops, I didn't ketch that.
I'm hard just telling you guys the story
spelling nazi is best nazi

2/2

> he pushes forward and puts it up to my cheek and forces it against my lips
> I kinda turn away try to get up but so wasted
> he puts his knee on my chest and holds me down
> dick right above me again
> I open my mouth, let him in
> get straight to sucking
> no idea why im doing this
> doesn't feel or taste bad isn't horrible or anything
> let him take control
> its easy don't have to do anything have my hands on his hips and just keep still while he fucks my mouth
> hits me what is actually happening here
> I have to stop is starting to feel too weird, youve had your fun mate, im not comfortable with this
> turn my head go to push him off me
> he's not having a bar of it
> puts more weight on me, holds me down and shoves it back in my face
> what's the use
> I don't fight him, just submit
> let him use my mouth
> feel ashamed and a little turned on at the same time
> degrading having this guy standing over me
> not even gonna pretend anymore
> kinda get into it
> I've got a hand on it to stop him going too hard
> i start getting involved, am now sucking him
> he picks up speed, takes charge starts grunting
> idiot me keeps blowing him
> tells me to swallow
> his dick starts bucking and twitching
> suddenly my mouth is filling with cum
> try to take it, but its fucking gross, most ends up on my cheek and dribbling down
> yuk
> but I don't stop, let him finish pumping
> he stands back, tucks dick away and pulls his jeans back up
> says nothing turns around walks away
> leaves me cum all over my face wondering wtf has just happened
> have another drink to get rid of taste, wipe cheek on my shirt, but its covered in cum too
> just end up smearing more on my face
> get up, readjust my clothes, walk home
> still drive past that spot almost everyday, can't believe how stupid I was

sounds hot and i'm not even gay

domination and submission are hot. So are oral creampies. Nothing hotter IMHO than pumping hot dick snot into someone's mouth

How bad is it having herpes?

That was my only time giving. This is the last one I received, maybe 5 weeks ago give or take a day or two

> wife and I having tense period
> she just dropped a baby, is hormonal and a pain in the ass
> everything we do just pisses the other off
> she's feeling gross and unsexy, pussy got wrecked in childbirth so won't fuck, too painful for her
> its night we barely say anything
> go to bed in bad mood with each other
> put hands on her, she's not interested, turns faces away from me
> no fuck that shit, a mans got needs
> grab her hand, put in on my dick and with my hand over hers make her fap me
> she let's it happen but lots of bored sighs
> I don't care, first action in weeks
> am bucking my hips building up
> she readjusts and we loss rhythm
> damn was close, gotta start again
> she rolls and faces me says 'ffs'
> gets down in between my legs and gets to work
> she makes it obvious to her its a chore
> that makes me harder
> hold her head and fuck it
> she sticks finger in my ass
> I know what she's doing, trying everything to make me cum asap
> it works
> she knows I'm close but I give her no warning
> cum down her throat
> she sits up straight away, jizz shoots everywhere
> says to me, I hope you enjoyed that, because that's the last one you'll be getting from me
> she gets up goes to the bathroom
> hear the toilet flush she brushes her teeth
> walks past our bedroom and goes into spare room
> awesome I've got the bed to myself

So yeah, 5 weeks ago with a promise to never do it again. I'm kinda worried but CBF as well. She's looking really tired an haggard atm. Got all the sex appeal of a slug.
If we are still fighting in a months time might be a concern.

Fuck man, if you had any concept of what her body's just been through you'd cut her more slack.

I've had two kids, I get where you're coming from, but you're going about it wrong. Talk to her about your needs but fucking listen to her if she's got issues right now.

All of this being predicated on the idea that you want to continue sharing a bed with this woman.

I hate it happened, honestly would never seek it out. But I just have to accept it as something I did. Yeah I'm not comfortable with it but I was way drunk and honestly couldn't fight him off. I could barely stand or figure out which way was up. I remember though a couple times during it when I did actually start enjoying it a little. Having him take over made it easier think. If i tried to fight harder it might have taken longer. Think part of me just thought, let it hapoen, utll be over soon. I'm over the embarrasment of it. I assume this dude had no idea who I was so no risk of anyone else finding out. Thank fuck for that.

>me and nigress gf hanging out in her dorm while her roommate is away
>can't really remember what led to it, probably were making out or something
>she starts blowing me on her bed
>we're both in kinda awkward positions so I ask if we can stand or something
>try that and it feels weird too
>pull out her desk chair with my cock hanging out and sit in it while she stays on her knees
>comfy achieved
>at first she keeps her hand on the base and sucks the other half, start to get more into it and wind up fucking her throat
>push her head down and nut, she keeps sucking
>feels good at first but then overwhelming and push her off my dick
>she licks some jizz off her hand while I wipe my dick off with some nearby tissues
>she says shes going to go brush her teeth and I collapse on her bed

Thx for that. I'm not sure how to play this so appreciate your advice. Of course I want us to continue, we have a family afterall, and I know this is always a dangerous time for couples. Sleep deprived, feeling unsexy. I just needed a release, so yeah I probably played it wrong, but I was sick of jerking it.
I'm sure we will sort this out. Just gotta figure out best way to approach her. Atm all she wants to do is throw pots and pans at me. She also spends hours on the phone to her mum which is a real red flag. Anyway I know that's not what this thread is about so I'll leave it at that.
Keep talking about blowies people.

this was like a couple years ago by the way

that was fucking hot made me cum loads as i know what its like haha, did the exact thing with my ex. cbf green txting

Never had one. I'm 28.

Not the same user but no. I think they just get off on the attention.

Why not? And don't gimme that "nobody wants me bullshit". If toothless meth heads can find bitches to go on jerry springer with, you could find a mouth to fuck if you tried hard enough.

Yeah I haven't tried. Being close to people creeps me out. I wouldn't want anyone who would want me anyway.

last blowjob I got
>shes a pig
>great tits, decent face, cute butt, gross gut
>will let me do anything I want though
>meet and she offers head
>little mouth, little hands
>its not that amazing, but good for what it is
>ask her to suck my giant balls
>starts soft, demand she tries her best to suck them off
>she sucks as hard as possible
>gives me the good plops and stays down
>I give her the big nut and cum inher mouth
>she swallows the load

head game was a 5/10
ball game was a 9

Stop that.

>She's a pig
I don't get this. Why do you want to mess around with a pig?

Stop what?

Fuck you.

No.

...

..............no.

I got a quick blowie from the wife, Saturday afternoon. It had been a while since I shot a load in her, so when I was close to cuming she sat on my cock so I could make a deposit.

About 5ish months ago my gf sucked me off in my bedroom at my parents house. She never really let me cum after like the first 3 she gave. Always really toothy and she could never go for more than 3 minutes because "my jaw hurts my jaw hurts".

She ended up cheating on me and left me a few days after I went to Uni. Now she's fucking this horse faced man child. Bitch deserves to be stoned to death in the streets.

>wasting hitler dubs on fantasy
kys, user.

I can see why you're mad. I'd hate to lose a women that was so bad at the thing I liked...

6 years ago
No tongue, no suck
Just in her mouth not touching anything

Cheers mate. Yeah I never knew until I got married but resentful angry bjs are obviously a thing.

> shes a pig
Yep, we've all been there. Comes a time when you start debating with yourself if its even worth the effort.

did you cum?

TLDR op is playing a video game gets turned on by the character he’s using begins to fantasize he has a gf that’s blowing him. Busts a nut resumes video game Mountain Dew and Doritos consumption.

The last one I received was today at work

lol. My girl is no model but her mouth is warm and wet.

Nope
It was my first and only time
Sophomore homecoming in high school
In between our school and the greenhouse

I had no idea what I was doing--i don't mean the sex part I mean the whole date

We just kinda sat at The school, just the two of us for a first official date

She was hot as hell but look up histrionic personality disorder and it fits her word for word
(Overdramatic, manipulative bitch)

That sounds like your mouth

Last week. Fiance is weird right now. Had an ovary removed and is on some serious meds to get rid of endometriosis. Hormones are a god dam Rollercoaster but she isnt mean. It's weird. We can be flirty she likes the butt touches and cute sexy shit throughout the day. But isn't to hot on sex most of the time. Then for no reason a switch goes off. She comes at me like a fucking predator. And this goes on for a day.

>>be last week
>>comfy af about 8 am still snoozing cause day off
>>feel her move around
>>she gets up early so I don't mind
>>feel her hand on my thigh
>>uh oh
>>morning wood is at full stop
>>the moment her hand touches it she rips the blanket off
>>starts stroking and swallows it
>>no warmup no nothing just balls deep instantly
>>doesn't even check to see if I'm awake
>>which at first I wasn't. It was just a cool dream
>>wide awake now
>>when she sucks she is in degradee mode
>>grab her hair and pull her head off cock
>>start stroking and slapping her lips and face with it
>>she's moaning loud as fuck.

Cont

Um I'm both people you're talking too...

I guess I wouldn't want to believe anyone gets blown playing vidya if I'm some forever alone neckbeard that's only had one shitty blowjob in his adult life. So, it's understandable how you feel.

2 weeks ago girl gets in my car starts sucking my dick and plays with my balls for like 10 minutes until I came in her mouth

I can't sex first thing in the morning without having a piss first

Last night at my house. My friend with benefits got drunk with me and a few friends. After they left, my roommate took his girlfriend to his room. While they were gone we danced in the living room and she suddenly pulled my cock out of my pants and started blowing me. The fear of getting walked in on only made it hotter

My prime was ages 13 to 15
Not me

Actually, its not a meme, kiddo. Its an artistic protest movement and a simple, yet brilliant, joke all at the same time.
The average faggot who frequents Sup Forums these days sees Andy and his Log of Shit as an irritating form of spam. It is worth noting though that nobody really knows why these people find Logs as infuriating and triggering as they do.
Now on the rare occasion that someone with a shred of intelligence and maturity finds themselves on Sup Forums, they might see Andy and his Logs as a humorous mockery of the adoration some teenage scene girls show towards Andy Sixx. They joke is that they love him so much they would eat his shit, while most other people consider Andy Sixx a cringy z-list celebrity/ scene fag.
But both of these interpretations of the Log fall short of fully explaining it. There is a certain drive to proliferate the Log that logbois discover to be a powerful force. Some say its brought on by the overwhelming tide of porn and shit threads (FB/IG fap, Pics you shouldnt share, loli, etc.) Others argue that Andy and his Log have taken on their own power altogether, and that logposters really dont even have control over the impulse at this point. Others still have developed such a religious relationship with Andy and his Log of Shit that it is the only thing keeping them tied to this life.
So what does Andys Log mean? All you have to do is log in to find out.

Last night my GF sucked my dick for a bit before we had sex. Finished inside her, felt good m8.

>>she starts begging
>>let go of her hair and let her slam her face down on my cock
>>haven't even opened my eyes yet
>>she works my balls and shaft while sucking hard as fuck
>>when she gets like this its like she's dying and my cum can save her
>>huge fucking turnon
>>start calling her a slut and fucking her mouth
>>eyes open now I can see her pussy dripping down her thigh
>>she's close to cumming
>>she isn't even touching herself but moaning like she's getting rekt
>>pull her head back and slap her with my cock
>>tell her she's a filthy slut and she better cum soon
>>she grabs the base of my cock and stretches her tongue out to lick the tip
>>she's whimpering now begging for it
>>let her go and less than three pumps later
>>she starts quivering and moaning on my cock
>> a few small spurts off cum shoots down her thigh
>>she slowly recovers with my cock in her mouth
>>Gets up shaky and starts to stroke me
>>tell her to go make breakfast
>>I'm not done with her today

She leans down kisses the tip and slaps herself with it.
Gets up and skips out of the room


A long day of crazy sex followed I made her wait for the cum and by the time I did finish my balls were so tender I could feel my pulse in them.

Wow. Dream

>Two days ago
>At work, gf comes to meet me so we can go to dinner
>She usually sits on the couch in my office and reads mags if she has to wait
>Tell her I'll be half an hour due to some reports someone fucked up
>She sits down and starts to masturbate through her underwear
>diamonds
>She comes over and gets under my desk and starts to give me a BJ while I finish off my work
>Concentrate on getting it done, never typed so fast in my life
>Get it done so I can enjoy BJ
>Never had one at work. No chance of getting caught at this hour, everyone gone, no cleaners tonight
>Still, thrill of work BJ makes it better
>Kinda wanna fuck her but had reservations
>Cum buckets, she swallows the lot
>Go to dinner
>See a play
>Get home
>Fuck her brains out

Nah my girl blew me while I was playing cod. I was on the mic and she thought it was funny. I died while I was cumming. She fucks with me because I always fuck with her while she's on the phone with her mom. I slow fucked her last time and she kept stammering. We fucked when she hung up tho. Some couples are playful man it happens

The twist to OPs story is that she actually wasnt there

Same, fucking sucks, I love blow jobs but watching her try to do something she clearly hates is too much of a turn off

"She" wasn't in any of these stories.

>xbox
what is this 2006?

I'm not mad because I lost her. I'm mad because I trusted her to not cheat on me. She did. Anyone that has cheated in their lives should be drug out into the streets and skinned alive.

I'm glad she's gone, though. Just missed the "free" pussy and her giant tits. That's about it.

facefuck =/= blowjob

Shitthatdidn'thappen.jpg

first blowjob i received
>14
>about to move states
>girlfriend of a year wants to blow me before i go
>we go to an abandoned house and I sit down in an armchair by the front door
>she tries to get my belt off but can't
>pull my pants down for her
>she starts to suck my dick and i'm amazed by how good it feels
>she tells me to push her head
>do
>tell her when i'm about to cum
>she stops before i do
>zip my pants up and leave
>she yells at me outside because i forgot to loop my belt and she thought my dick was still out

first blowjob i gave
>Sup Forums grooms me into trapping
>start fantasizing about blowing someone
>don't want to fuck a stranger
>build up a bunch of courage and offer to blow neet friend one night
>he accepts
>i get dressed up and he comes over
>blow him
>it was ok

sex pranks are best pranks

Xbox one. excuse the fuck out of me.

icantbelievecoolshithappensforotherpeople.exe

so, you didn't cum?

>so, you didn't cum?
nah
a couple years later i visited her again and that was the first time i actually came from a blowjob

both of the experiences i described are with the only 2 people i've ever done anything sexual with