Story time

Story time.

>be me
>freshman in hs
>ate most of a 5-pound Hershey kiss the day before
>last time I had chocolate was two weeks ago, didn't sit well for some reason
>first day of school
>get on bus with a minor stomach ache
>think nothing of it
>step into school
>suddenly feel uranium rod drop straight from my stomach to my ass
>holyshit.jpg
>start sprinting through the halls
>hadn't thinned out yet, still chubby, face probably red
>older kids watching in amazement
>I probably beat Usain Bolt's 100m track record
>see bathroom
>initiald.mp3
>propel myself into bathroom with enough force to escape the atmosphere
>swing stall door open, swiftly plop my ass onto the seat
>oh god
>feel intense pressure as a shit harder than diamond pushes out of my ass
>let out a guttural scream as I try pushing it out
>and women say giving birth is difficult
>feel shit reach its apex, feels like a felon is tearing my ass open like cell bars
>shit suddenly rockets out of my body
>feels like Yellowstone just erupted inside me
>what happens next I like to call the 'comet'
>after the solid core of the comet comes its trail of shit
>feel magma spew out of my ass uncontrollably
>literally howl in pain as I get lifted off my seat
>am I giving birth to the antichrist?
>after a while it slows down and stops
>can't breathe from the toxic fumes
>grab asspaper
>requires entire roll to clean my ass up
>wonder how many trees had to die for such a horrific fate
>slowly stand on shaky legs
>literally feel a draft through my ass and into my intestines
>too scared to look into the bowl, just pull up pants and walk out
>mfw I was in girls bathroom
>mfw some poor girl was in the stall next to me, too horrified to do anything
>bathroom is closed for two weeks
>mfw I get the nickname 'shitlord'

Turns out I'm allergic to chocolate. Who would've guessed.

Kek

Lost it at >asspaper

...

...

...

...

...

Put me in the screencrap

This is gold

...

...

beautiful

>pic related
Absolutely glorious, stay classy Sup Forums

Kekd

You write like a hershey squirt. Lame story, brah.

Good kek.

Put me in the screencap:DDD:Dd

repost that with the benis face, and maybe.

Second god-tier thread today, FeelsAmazingMan
>pic related

...

Put me in screencap

Quality post 10/10

>be be 24 yrs old
>was at a friends party
>chill night, only a few people thier
>kinda dorky died hair chick comes over with brunette friend
>we are all talking having drinks
>decide to move to friends hottub
>old school above ground style
>i didn't bring trunks, but wear boxer briefs so just use that
>everyone else is changing so I get in
>long day so the hot water feels great
>blondish chick gets in
>seems cool, nice, kinda flirty
>she starts talking about her ex, lots of complaining
>says that she is experimenting now
>Other friends come in and she stays where she is
>continue drinking and talking
>friend hits the bubbles
>after about 20 minutes eveyone is ready to go in
>bruneete friends goes with saying she is pruny
>blondish chick says she is gonna stay
>I say i am gonna hang for a bit more myself
>they go in and she moves closer
>she gets kinda flirty and puts her hand on my leg
>finally she kisses me
>start kissing back
> her hand moves over my briefs and she starts rubbing
>keep making out
>grab her by the waist and pull her over and she straddles me.
>we keep kissing
>girl is passionate as fuck
>grinding on my cock
>reach down and start rub her through her suit
>try a little more and go down the top of her bottoms and start rubbing her clit
>no objections
>she fucking bites me
>take my hand out an pull her bottoms to the side and slide cock out of front flap
>she is still rubbing on me
>we are still pretty heavy and it is getting close to slipping in
>finally the tip is in
>i look at her and see if she is gonna get up, you know things got too serious shit
>she sits down and pushes my cock in
>Rocks back and forth pushing her hips
>pull out and blow my load on her stomach
>mfw I see her on youtube a month later
>mfw I actually fucked the marbs

moar stories?

Today in things that never happened

11/10 I can't breathe

whatever user. I was just as shocked as you.

Why are u stupid fucked so inclined to create non-stop metaphors when telling storys about taking a shit

Its cringe worthy

Put me in the screencap! Pretty please, with chocolate on top..

Then there's these two faggots trying to ruin an epic post. Go.. suck each other off or something.

> feel sick due to eating chocolate
> run to bathroom
> take a poo large in volume which hurts a bit so i make loud noises
> wipe using a roll of toilet paper
> leave oops it was the womens bathroom

Cool story bro

A tribute to your autism

>pic related

...

thanks user

Op was not a faggot today
>Checked

you are doing the lords work