Does anyone know how to make a condom fail with out her knowing?

Does anyone know how to make a condom fail with out her knowing?

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Sex in the dark and put a decently sized hole in the tip. It would also help to save up your cum for a while so you only have to pull some trickery once. Also, try to hide the fact that it's broken after you cum so she can't go for Plan B. Good luck OP.

faggot detected

How do you hide the fact that’s the hard part

Like afterwards? I guess it'd be a problem if cum is leaking out. Maybe do it while you guys are drunk and something and try to go to bed right after. If she gets up she's gonna start leaking and stuff.

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Yeah I have thought of all the obvious answers out and they wouldn’t work, I need to slip on a second one with her knowing and still have cum in it

Stick a thumbtack at the end of your dick before slipping it on. Don't let her see and just slide right in.

Oh yeah I'm sure that feels fine. Having metal lodged in my hole.

Did that too much blood , too noticeable

Seriously...?

Poke a hole in the condom when its still in the wrapper (with a needle).
When you're putting it on your dick, be a bit rough to try and open the top a little.
Fuck her rough and you should build enough force to poke your dick through it.

I hope you're asking this for the sake of curiosity

Yes I am

Why tho?

I hope your dick falls off.

Act like you're putting it on but hide it in your asshole

Easy science. Poke a few holes with a thumb tac, boil the condom with the wrapper, removing the lube. When your about to kill her from the back, the lack of lube will tear the condom.
Profit

The science isn’t the hard part , it’s getting her not to notice

Ain't no way in hell she gonna assume you boiled a condom. Unless, she bugged your brain. Which in case you wear tin foil... Profit?

Taking care of a kid is hard work. Paying 20% of your top line salary each month for the next 20 years to a bitch who won’t let you see your kid is even harder. If you’re trying to humiliate her just let her marry your bum ass. Sit around and play video games while she goes to work. Piss on her face every now and then. Tell her how lucky she is she found you. Good luck champ.

I laughed way too hard at this.

I'm convinced condoms are 100% effective now.