Anyone else here just honestly passing time until they die? I mean everyone basically is on some level...

Anyone else here just honestly passing time until they die? I mean everyone basically is on some level, but that’s how I think of my days now in particular.

Dude level up like mario

My undying love for the Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, is in my heart. And I strive to be like him so his everlasting spirit is proud of me

literally every single human being ever.

I work, I go home, I have constant gay sex with my partner every single night, and yet I still feel empty.

Try being the bottom for once.

Kinda just passing time till my Roth IRA and 401k build up to the point where I can do whatever the fuck I want.

i have a drive to do shit because ive been laughed at and emasculated.
>spent years playing piano only to be put down by peers and family and their friends because piano is gay
>literally get called liberace or elton john becuase they view me as some faggot
>friend picks it up, is mediocre as fuck, but gets positive attention joins bands and gets friends
>i try to join bands and fail or get cut out. try to put myself out there and mention to other musicians that i play and one actual response said "that's weird".
>realize its because im weird looking and dont fit in. even with fucking artsy fartsy shitheads.
>i get different responses when i do other shit thats not considered girly. like guitar and turntables.
i just decided to focus on getting money. strip clubs are a reoccurring thing in my life so far. i want to be a whore monger. i get bitter seeing local musicians get attention though.

I feel like that. and I have 2 friends who feel the same way. Everything feels so meaningless.

Op here, ayy a fellow bitter artist. Guess there really is no shortage of us. Visual arts for me though.

maybe dont play piano in person. If youre good, make youre own music, put it on youtube or soundcloud. Just throwing idea out there. Im mediocore at music, so I cant do that.

No, I am here to ad contrast to my life.

My life has great purpose, you choose to live without.

Every action you take is a choice.

Sometimes that purpose slips away from you user. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so half hearted or picked something so naive

Holy fuck, how did you know?

Yeah, pretty much. Life is a big joke to me. Its boring and not very enjoyable.

i throw soundcloud around and get views there infact i made it as a sound designer for some website because of it but if i want to play around locally it sucks because i know ill get shit for it and cant even get my foot in the door for the small venues because its a small ass town.

I’m not sure how you read that from my reply, I do phrase things a little awardly sometimes. I was speaking broadly of people like myself, ‘those living without purpose’

Misread that at first, sorry. I have a lot on my mind presently.

Keep trying, attempt to follow the path which brings the most joy to your life and never lose sight of your goals.

Agreed. Too much pain. The give isnt worth the take. Im tired. I just want to sleep forever but i cant. Gotta stay around because of family.

would you mind sharing your SC?

What do either of you aspire to in life?

Ideally, what would you like to change in life to make it worthy of living?

no because ill get found out.

not one of the people you asked, but originally I wanted to make music, but theres too many responsibilities to do that. I might need to go back to school to get a degree in a field I dont all that much more just to live.

a field I dont care* all that much for*
(im out of it)

Your condition might be listed

Yep. It's called chronic depression and it's fairly shitty compared to the alternative. I've had occasional success with SSRIs. That was the best time. I actually enjoyed life and was rewarded with success in both my career and love life. But that's all gone now. I'm hoping it will get better at some point in the future. But right now, I'm 44 years old, single, unemployed, burning through the little savings and retirement I've managed to squirrel away, and wasting my time playing video games all day, and watching movies. I leave the house as little as possible and generally avoid all human contact because acting remotely interested in life is fucking exhausting and even more depressing than being a hermit. Oh well. Who cares.

If you have a computer you can make and edit music, all you need is a vision and time minus the cost of the music editing program and instruments.

As for a job, there are plenty occupations available now which do not require a degree.

Try to find something which makes you happy.

knew what you meant, it's alright.

Life takes effort in order to yield success.

Some things are worth the effort, though it is your choice as always.