Childhood feels thread. post your traumatic childhood stories

childhood feels thread. post your traumatic childhood stories.

Have shared before
> be 8/9
> in car with dads friend, hour long drive on quiet country road
> becomes a thing every saturday for reasons that aren't relevant to thread
> he's cool guy I like him, gives me Pepsi mars bars
> one day look over see him driving with dick out
> has got a hard on and is slowly fapping himself
> pretend to not notice
> he puts it away nothing is said about it
> next week same again
> another time her does it asks me to help him out
> um ok
> puts his hand over mine and I give him hand job
> he pulls over and gets me more involved
> he gets dick and balls out
> puts one leg up on the seat other on the floor
> gets me down on my knees in between his legs, face close have to fap him, he blows everywhere
> i know its wrong but I'm not gonna say anything
> maybe i enjoyed it a little too
> not long before he steps it up a gear
> I've gotta start sucking cock
> trains me well
> start to think he's my best buddy and this is just what i have to do
> he loves it, that's obvious so I'm doing the right thing I think
> has no interest in my dick, that's fine by me
> over the next year, we are just pulling over at random spots and I have to go to work
> sometimes in the cab, sometimes outside
> one time I was on him as soon as we started driving
> would always swallow for him
> by then end of it just thought it was totally normal
> one day visiting gf
> end up offering to blow her brother while playing hide and seek, he's twice my age
> we go hide and he has his fun
> he regrets it gets scared I'm gonna tell, gives me $5 to keep quiet. I take the money but its not needed, not like I'm gonna share this shit
> so for a couple months I was sucking two dudes off regularly, neither of them knew, as far as anyone was concerned I was just a regular kid
> first guy gets found out to be molesting me, his life unravels
> disappears
> he blew his head off only a couple months later
> felt bad for him, even miss him
> also dad beats living shit out of me

Regular beatings for flimsy pathetic reasons. Would hold my breath and tense up waiting for it. He would take out all his rage on me. Left winded, dizzy on the floor unable to get up.
Happy days those, happy days

I never had friends in school, but I was always sad when I had to leave.
Most days I'd come home to a drunk father and smashed furniture, a battered mother, police.
I used to cry to myself in the bus when I neared my house, because I didn't want to be home.
I just wanted to sit alone and have other kids around me that were happy, laughing, and talking.
It felt good just to hear happiness.

I've got a kid now. Growing up I made the conscious decision that when I was going to be a dad I would never attack my children.
I don't believe it when people say you are destined to repeat your parents mistakes. I'd like to think I'm better than them.

My dad raped me randomly from the ages of 9 - 14. He even beat me so badly once that I almost died and had to go to the hospital. He would also lock me in my room for entire days. Also while raping me he'd either say he hated me or get me to say things.

I'm still afraid of sex to this day and haven't had it, and it doesn't help that I'm fucking crazy either

bamper

My father nearly beat me to death as a toddler.

>still afraid of sex to this day and haven't had it,
Yep, that shit tends to do that to you. Pisses me off and probably you too. You should be married or in a relationship, everything happy and healthy, instead of cringing and hating being touched and avoiding any form of physical contact

Sorry that happened to you

Yep same. Though I don't outright hate being touched, it just does literally nothing for me. It as driven all three of my partners away, they always feel like they can't do enough for me. Just that side of me is dead, or at least numb. The actual act of sex does terrify me though. And I still haven't been able to try.

Im sorry for all of you. I never really saw my father, but its like that with dads most of the time anyway. My mother would lock me in my room and curse at me and hit me with a belt, but I always saw that as discipline. Hearing some of your stories tho, makes me disgusted. I wish i could murder all the sick fuckers on the planet

my father use to do alot of shit to me. he use to gaslight me. fuck me in the bath room. take me to "friends" houses to get fucked. beat me. and just generally be a creep. and I for the life of me cant help but with I could forget again

It's okay user. At least for me, my dad got found out after the time when I was 14 and he's locked away now in a psyche ward. (I posted earlier about my dad)

At least on my end I feel like I got some justice, but it's always so depressing to hear this from so many anons.

Good luck, its not easy.

>father was an abusive asshole and belittled my mother all the time
>got bullied throughout all of my schoolyears
>friends fucked me over and girlfriends fucked me over

And now people ask me why i'm so bipolar, sad and silent all the time, fuck me right?

Yeah seriously and this is just the tip of the iceberg. The world is a fucked up place

Try not to be depressed by others lives. That shit used to trigger me and eat me up knowing other kids had suffered or were being abused right now. Yes that's bad but I knew there was nothing I could do about people I didn't know. It wasn't helping them or me to use my energy on them. Not that I dont care, of course I do, but I know now I need to put all my efforts and energy in looking after myself.

Ty mate. Recently I got angry at something stupid my son did. I lost my cool and yelled at him. Not too loud and there was no real anger in me. The look he gave me brought me back to earth, he flinched and recoiled back. He looked terrified. Made me think just how much a simple action like me yelling can effect him.
Also made me think how sick my dad must have been to see that same look in my eyes, but still be happy to go ahead and beat me til I couldn't breathe.

>Boyfriend always abused mom
>Be 12
>One day walk in seeing boyfriend punching mom in face
>Keep in mind, I don't like my mom, even before she met him she always bullied me
>Have enough
>Get into fight with boyfriend
>Get tackled
>Dislocate boyfriend's jaw
>Give him black eye
>Injure my spleen
>Boyfriend moves out, never comes back

Btw, if you all think this is fake, I did boxing when I was 6-11. So I was hell bent on knowing how to hurt someone.

No, no one thinks it fake. Most of us itt have been there done that ourselves. We know what life can be like.

I got R kellyed, but it's ok because I take the piss out of people to get off now. I won't have sex with you. I just wanna wait til your rotting and half eaten by possums. Because it's funny. we're a culture of laughter. and everyone is crying.

Dad why did you make me do that to the dog. Dad why

My father beat my ass, back and legs with an electric wire till blood. It happened several times, that he broke the wire.

>have newly paranoid schitsophrenic mom
>brother in trouble for some reason, I don't remember why
>brother told to take a nap or some shit
>later that day, mom takes a shower and notices the shampoo is diluted, like someone put water in it
>comes to the conclusion that my brother must have snuck out of his room and diluted the soap
>precedes to beat the shit out of him until he confesses that he did it
>this takes a while as it was beaten into us to never lie
>dad comes home from work, turns out he diluted the shampoo because it was clogging the drain
>same thing happened to me several years later, but I lied right away because my brother had told me what happened to him

I was raised by a single woman

If satan the father of lies couldn't make it work with her she's a lost cause. Find drugs brother. bringing people into a (temporary) pointless cycle from the past isn't fun in itself. js leave the dating scene for a bit get a flesh light and work out your issues.

How would he fuck you? How would he go about getting his "friends" to fuck you? How old were you? Story please

Does it help you to know that I got hard reading your post?

Man I don't know anymore. Life is a fucking buzz. And yeah I get hard to the memories too. If you have a kik then Mabye I could share some stories

And for context somewhere between the age of 4 to 6. I think. Again I can't remember

My fiance was raped repeatedly by her brother... this I know, However, I'm not fully sure of all the bad things that have happened to her. She doesn't know either.

Severe abuse from a young age caused her to develop DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder)

Point is, she's suuuper fucked up when it comes to sex. I've been rehabilitating her for years because... well, I fucking love sex. I'm an addict.

So, to get to the point, you really need to get therapy. A professional can heal you. It will take years but it can happen.

That being said for some reason people don't get professional help, so... on to the second option - DIY.

Look into hypnotism. Get a partner who you can trust to hypnotize you.

This partner will be able to get you in touch with your body. This partner will be able to make you experience amnesia regarding your trauma.

You'll be able to experience sexual contact as if you were not damaged. And, over time, they can slowly heal you through repeated hypnotic sessions.

Tl;dr - You really need professional help... however, if that's not available. Amateur hypnotherapy may be able to help.

"so bipolar"

Bipolar is not a fucking state, its a condition. Fuck you for giving the disorder a bad name.

Next time, just say mood swings, and add in the fact that Bipolar != mood swings

Also yeah he would fuck me. I said it in the post.

...kay

Dad was a drink that beat me anytimehe got mad
Was molested by my step mom but it was cool cause she was hot. Kinda fucked me up now I have an incest fetish.

'Raccoon eyes' = skull fracture.

>be sleeping as a kid in freshman highschool
>parents divorce just got done a year ago after having gone on for one and a half year because fuck lawyers
>dad got full custody of all four kids because mom is paranoid schitsophrenic
>hear heaving breaths from the running shower that will haunt me for years after
>try to go back to sleep
>shower still running, whenjoy i go out to check there is water running beneath the door
>knock on the door, no answer of course
>wake up brother, other two siblings were out at college I think
>eventually get into bathroom, floor is flooded with water and shower still running
>we manage to pull our naked dad out of the shower and brother does cpr while I call 911
>ambulance arrives and they dragreed I'm out into the hallway and we wait in the next room
>at this point crying my eyes out as there is a good chance I will never see my dad again
>the medics fail to revive him and he is taken out of the house
>go to an aunts house to get away from what happened
>watching TV there like nothing happened
>as I'm watching a revelation begins to dawn on me
>nothing they say on the news matters, nothing on the TV matters, nothing matters, I will never talk with my dad again, never even ask him a question
>go numb
>never feel emotions with the same intensity ever again

Hello? You still here?

READ HERE
3 + 3 = 6
Three 6s
666
a 2 thirds of god's army fell with him.
Suicide is knowledge.
repeat after me.
"I survived a demon attack".

Get beaten by 3 different guys like 5 times per month for 3 years until i went to high school, in that period i had severe stomach pains without any physical logic. Then, i could not stand to be in a classroom even if no one it’s bothering me, i acquire the "somatization disorder". Thanks to that i didn’t past the first 6 months and i get kicked out.
4 years later i tried to come back to study the high school in a private institution, had the same problem.
I finished my high school online and never went to university.

Thanks for the advice. I've been seeing specialists (psychiatrists) for over a decade now. All of my issues are diagnosed and medicated responsibly as well. I do what I can to live as normally as I can. There are just things that take a lot longer to heal.

But I have the same diagnoses as your lady, as well as prosopagnosia, Alice in wonderland syndrome and schizophrenia being the big ones. All of which are why I see four doctors a week and go to various workshops to better my life.

I can't stand people who sit around and brood with these issues and don't try and discuss/seek help or at least a diagnosis

>Dad is currently 60 and my mom is 35
>My birth was after my eastern European mom lied about being on the pill to my rich American father.
>Raised most of early childhood in split custody
>brother born after my mom did the same thing to another man.
>Things kinda stay the same, mother and father sometimes scream at each other when they drop me off.
>One day after watching some movie in theaters with my mom and younger brother we get dropped off at my dad's house.
>Mom and dad instantly start screaming at each other
>My brother hides under the bed and I stay by my room and watch.
>to me that's when things started going down hill.
>Start spending more time at moms house
>second grade rolls around and I'm being abused by the teacher and students after the last kid moved.
>Dad has to move to a shitty apartment for some reason.
>One day right before school ended my mom bursts in and pulls me out of class, the entire class watches as I get slapped around and pulled out of my seat.
>Dad and a child services guy intercept my mom.
>Child services guy gives me a choice "do you want to spend the night at moms or dads house?"
>Choose the wrong decision. and spend less and less time with my dad (two days every 2 weeks)
>One day my dad comes to pick me up in his old 1995 Porsche,
>even the teacher gives me a look of disgust.
>next day I practically get mugged by a bunch of guys.
>to finish this story off quickly we ended up moving to the USA, at some point my dad and mom got into another argument and my mom threw a hot bowl of soup at my dad. So the cops come and take my dad away. I once again only see him once every few weeks and remember him constantly crying whenever I visited him at his friends house.

To sum it up I spent most of my childhood trying to get both parents to stop fighting and this led to a lot of long nights crying and shouting in a car. I guess this made me great at debating and lying. But I cant maintain a relationship for more than half a year now.

Murder all the sick fucks and 3/4 of the earths population would cease to exist. I would help if it were possible...

>be a couple years after that happened
>have withdrawn from everyone around me
>previously had been something of a well known class clown in my school
>don't see the point in it anymore
>only actual class I'm still in is chior, all the rest are special ed because of emotional issues and condition
>condition is a particularly bad case of tourette's syndrome, swearing, screaming, and gets worse when I'm under stress
>be under a metric fuck ton of stress with my dad dead, my oldest brother doing his best to try to raise me, and the regular teenage existential crisis
>be in choir having dress rehearsals for a concert
>snap
>begin screaming at the top of your lungs and crying at the same time
>get sent home early
>sit on the stairs of your home crying at full volume alone, knowing no one can hear you and no one cares

fake and gay

I've long left the dating scene, my last boyfriend left after I really explained what all was wrong with me and what I'd been through. He just admitted he had no patience for that and knew he couldn't help me.

I can't do drugs, not even weed, due to my mental issues and medication. So there goes that. And even masturbsting freaks me out.

But like I said in another post recently, I see lots of doctors and keep myself responsibly medicated. It is slowly helping I think. Well I hope so, a decade of doctors isn't cheap

Also I do t accept any medical aide grants to see my specialists or buy my medication. I'm surprisingly well off for someone as fucked up as I am

>Most of my childhood I was bullied and abused by students and teachers.
>At home there was always some sort of intense family drama.
>This caused me to spend most of my time negotiating with two different sides and making false promises to keep my parents happy.
>I got really good at lying and debating, but I for some reason cant keep a stable relationship with anyone longer than a few months.
>mfw the only jobs I'm good at is politics, marketing, and making music so fucked up that even the devil needs a few moments to process it.

got any of that music on hand?

no one is forcing you be to famous or anything...

yeah sorry am in and out of steam..

did you turn into a full on sissy?

> be like 7-8
> have farm with pigs
> had a fat pig rubbing its beely and playing with him every once in a while
> had to kill him for mean
> why?.jpg
> father tie her and cut throat with chainsaw
> hole room filled with blood while pig crying in pain

Got emotionally abused by my mother. Still convinced I'm uggo and generally am not worth people's time. First time I tried to do myself in was in 5th grade.
Better lately. Have a bf that's helping matters, but sometimes feel like a piece of utter shit.

Maybe you're piece of utter shit.

My stepdad didnt let me see my dad for 4 years. He beat my immediate family, my older brother and I being the main targets, and made the family build a 2 story building over the course of 6 months. He controlled everything we did, said, thought, wore, who we associated with, everything. The house had to be absolutely spotless and it still wasnt good enough. My mom had to take care of his alchoholic mother. My brother left to live with my dad and the abuse got worse. My lil bro was a fucking starchild until my older brother left. I was suicidal since 8. I ran away twice after getting knocked out and waking up to him choking my mother.

I moved in with my dad and starting drinking and whoring myself on the internet for some possitive attention. Last time I tried to kill myself was 2 years ago and I havent tried since. My mom got a divorce and is remarrying soon. I dont dont drink anymore, but my 15 year old nudes are out there somewhere. I hope not to get arrested for cp

Is there a link to many people here being sexually abused as kids and becoming right wing/members of the alt-right as adults?
Genuinely curious.

not really traumatic but i've basically always been treated like an alien/special needs

I have literally 0 friends and haven't had 'friends' since the age of 15, when most people start to develop brains and realise that they can't hang out with retards because it'll hurt their miniscule 'street cred'. This isolation fucked me up good, I can't relate to anyone my age, and eventually started talking to myself and other autistic shit because it gets boring on your own

I remember once, a long time ago I saw a guy on Sup Forums post 'what if you are retarded but everyone you know pretends that you aren't' and that is basically the story of my life

>in room with door cracked open for light
>listening to drunk dad fighting with mom
>see red splatter on my wall through the crack
>too scared to get up
>go to bed

I guess this time he threw a ketchup bottle and some of it opened up and sprayed into my room

Ive thought about this a lot. I was sexually abused/raped as a kid. And I am Conservstive now been Conservstive mostly since 6th grade. Not alt-right though.

Well idk about that...I was molested and witnessed domestic abuse and I'm far from right wing. Their might be a study on the correlations between childhood trauma and that though.

i wanna be your friend. where from and how old?

Spotted the Mexican.

I would feel sad for that kid but he looks like he's at least half shitskin

edgy

Kik please

Ah fuck it. If anyone is interested find me here madotsukini

Most of what's happened to me will never equal most of the anons stories here, I don't know if I'm off better or what

Ever since i was young i was an outcast and never really had freinds. I had a good relationship with my patents so i wasnt that sad when i was young. (Young being in grade school.) But sometime around 8th grade my father got a promotion at his job. Sounds good right? But what it turned out to be was more stess for him and not alot more money. He would come home everyday and take his stess and anger out on me and my mother. Thats when my depression started and it just got worse over time because of being used by what i thought were my freinds and then being cheated on by one gf after the other. Now its hard to stay in a relationship because no one wants to date a depressed person and no really understands the paranoia that come from being cheated on by every single gf.

When I was at a catholic playschool aged 5, one of the teachers/carers whatever, forced my to do sexual things to a 5 yo girl in the walk-in cupboard. She was abused worse than me & I was made to watch. Fucked up my development & have since had crippling depression & a messed up guilt complex my entire life. I've had many relationships, but the way I obsess over trying to please them pushes them all into the arms of other, normal, men. I'm 33 in 6 weeks. Pay £50 a week on therapy. After many years, many medications, still no improvement

I feel the same way. I but my sadness into my music. It really helps me.

That's fucking horrible man. I couldn't deal

Not really spectacular but fucked me up bigtime anyway:
>mom had troubling pregnancy, mental issues already
>gets postnatal depression after I'm born, simply can't connect with me at all, looking back felt that even as a baby
>dad always off at work, not his fault, he had a good career going and needed to provide, but he wasn't there for me either
>grow up in state of constant confusion and anxiety, mom has random bouts of depression and anger attacks, sometimes whacks me but not really abusive I guess
>never feel safe or at ease and become detached, diagnosed with clinical depression and possible secondary psychopathy at age 5
>treatments ineffective because doctors don't identify root causes (mom)
>bullied constantly at school, even teachers pick on me, got to the point where it became normalized for me and didn't know any better than that life is just scary and confusing 24/7
>do well in school, turns out I'm gifted, tested
at age 9 with IQ155, skip a class and go to high-level HS early
>massively fuck up in HS, drop out after two years, so depressed and anxious I can barely function normally without being frozen with fear
>mom just goes on a rampage, blaming all my issues on me, asking why I make her life so difficult, that she's embarrassed of me, etc.
>I snap and fire back that she made me this way with her shitty behavior, she turns it around on me saying I was a shitty kid so of course it was hard for her, boo hoo
>especially slams into my giftedness, crying why I can't seem to use it, wondering if I'm really gifted or if it was just a fluke, why I won't just try harder and do better
>just stand there, stunned for almost a full minute while she's dragging on a cigarette with her hands shaking, mumbling to herself
Cont'd, didn't plan for it to be this long but I dunno, talking about it helps.

>go to my room, lay in bed, start thinking about everything, and suddenly I just... break? Like my brain couldn't process it anymore and explodes, I'm just done with everything, done with life, suicidal ideation of early years morphing into full-on suicidal nihilism at age 13
>feel like I'm drowning in my thoughts, can't move my body at all, and really scared because I know way too much but just don't *understand it*
>get stuck on one question: "I'm trying so hard, why doesn't anyone like me? Why does everyone always hate me?"
>can't figure out an answer, it just keeps looping in my head
>just start crying and crying and can't stop, just fucking wailing until my throat's sore but I just can't stop, nearly choke on my crying a few times
>and that's where my memories... stop
I can't remember much from the following years beyond flashes until I'm about 18-20, couldn't even remember much of my childhood until specialized trauma therapy a few years ago at age 22. When it all came flooding back it was so painful that it gave me a fucking migraine right in the therapist's office, suffering from them ever since. Went back to a psychiatrist at age 23, turns out I have severe ADD that would've been manageable if caught early, but it was masked by my giftedness and depression. My childhood upbringing made it so bad that it's gotten to the point of mental disability, I find it extremely hard to function in normal, everyday life now. Anxiety attacks are common, I can't memorize most things beyond five minutes in the past, and sometimes I suffer from derealization that gives me several hours of blankness before I "wake up" and regain control. But I'll manage somehow, I guess, just gotta keep going.

Thanks for reading, first time I've ever told anyone this openly beyond my therapist I guess. It helped.

Worst thing that ever happened to me as a little shit was having all my dogs die in the same year. I must've been pretty sheltered because after that I find caring and loving things to be a pointless endeavor.

Thats not traumatic that's normal

...

>be Candace Newmaker
thats it

We can only hope that bitch dies a slow, painful death at the hands of a crazed vigilante

Or we could try doing something about it ourselves?

Nah. 90-95% straight.

Rape and torture

what do you do for a living?

Meds suck, so do almost all the people pushing them
Trusting big pharma and its employees is naive

Suggestions?

Used to see my parents get into arguments, and it escalates up to the point where the male physically abused the female. Note that the female is bleeding anld crying at this point. 1994-2001... By age 7 the offspring of this couple was already suggesting to the parents to get divorced...

I'd rather direct you to drugs yes, but under the supervision and training of a real, serious, able shaman, not one of the many jerkoffs who deal in shit drugs while being no better than the shrink jews who hook you up on life and mind destroying drugs
Other than that, therapy. And finding your soul calling and practicing it. Cheers.

Lived the first 13 years of my life not allowed to socialise with any of my friends outside school. I was practically under house arrest.
Summer holidays were hell.
Physically abusive father who was a twisted bully.

I'm dude. Meds are the only thing that keep me relatively stable anymore, so no, I don't buy into the big pharma is all bad-thing. I know how shitty they can be, but it also improved my quality of life immensely. Telling people not to take meds they need and really can help is really shitty.

this isn't how you grow humans stupid useless mutt.

Well, we find her, and send someone,

>Be 9
>Step brother (who was like 16) calls me down to the bottom floor
>Parents not home, just me and him, for weeks to come
>Already getting beaten up almost everyday, forced to go without food for days and so on
>I go down
>He tells me to get in the shower with him
>I say no
>He beats me down, drags me into the bathroom
>Rips my clothes off
>Beats me some more
>Proceeds to beat and rape me, brutally
>Just lie there on the floor afterwards, crying

>Be 8
>At mom and stepdads apartment in the room next to theirs
>Step brother forces me to get naked and suck him off under the covers
>With my mom in the next room

>Be 11
>Home alone again with step brother
>Havent eaten for days, every time I try to go to the kitchen, I get beaten up, badly
>Stomach is growling, must've been close to 48 hours without food
>Decide to try and sneak down
>Next thing I remember is waking up on the floor, in my own blood and my whole body hurting
>Rest of the day is more or less gone
>Try to sneak out
>Get detected
>Run, without shoes down the small road to get to the main road
>All this time he is chasing me
>I get down to the main road with cars going by
>He stops chasing me and starts walking back home
>During the 2 hour walk into town, nobody stopped to help
>I had blood all over my face, black eye from before
>Everyone is just going by and staring at me
>Spend next week throwing up and occassionally fainting

Thanks I needed that vent.

your step brother is a fag

What id he have u say?

Sweetie take a deep breath you came out of a DISFUNCTIONAL family and it's not your fault you seek loving father but got abused in the process it's not your fault it's very normal in your case hugs you remember you are no monster and sweeite use these therapy books to reconnect with life it wasn't your fault by Beverly Engel and self compassion by KRISTIN NEFF I wish I could prescribe you Zoloft 50mg also take a warn shower you are human and be loved and there is nothing wrong if you seek attention from time to time it's a basic need to be acknowledge love take a warm shower and if you like the temperature of water stay under it as long as you feel like it you deserve better and hugs stay with all mental excersises in books in 30 days you will be reborn do not use alcohol it will worse your condition

Okay, I'm down, her name is mentioned in the article, perhaps she's on FB? Although I imagine she'd have changed her name on there. Maybe if we look for her ex husband we could find her through the contacts in his FB? I've not got FB though, so if anyone here does, maybe they could check? I'll see if I can find her on Insta... Never hunted anyone online before, so I might not be much help

daddy fucked me when I was young

or broken nose

>when I was young

>All your friends get new cars when they're 16
>Finally when you're 17 your parents buy you a used car, and only because Mom is sick of driving you around.

There's no way in hell Trump didn't fuck her.

I didnt know I had an abnormal childhood until I grew up and heard other peoples stories from their life and how fucked up mine was....

not like molestation or getting raped because that shit happens.

>Youngest of 4
>Never received attention
>Mom was alcoholic and worked in politics
>Dad was a good man and worked sales all day everyday
>Dad also didnt have energy to deal with us
>was either asleep or working
>Mom beat older sister and brother while drunk
>I use to get beat up by neighborhood kids
>Was always left alone to play alone
>Discover Mario
>Get a sega
>Play video games all day
>Get kind of chubby
>Always picked on by kids,brother,brothers friends, most anyone
>My brother starts drinking at 13
>Sister is raped
>I make a friend down the road who loves video games as much as I do at 9
>Move across the country to California when I'm 10
>Get beat up for being white by mexicans
>Switch schools
>Mom finds God
>Stops drinking
>religious nutter

I mean the more I think about the violence and how put down I was by most everyone the more it makes sense I am the way I am.

I am 6'5'' and a fit. In shape af but have almost 0 coinfidence.

I'm 28 now. I joined the military at 19 and was essentially forced into learning how to be a human being.

Most fucked up memory I had was when I was in the wrong neighborhood and a black kids beat me and was about to bash my brains with a bat. He was like 13 and I was like 7. My brother came up and stopped him. I was on skates and ran away.

did your mom resent you for making the bf leave? cause it can get really fucked up like that many times.

I take comfort that I was able to get my revenge on him during the course of several years now.