>Born with severe pectus excavatum
>Didn’t know about it, none of my family realized something was wrong
>Get made fun of in middle school locker room for caved in chest
>Can’t breathe as well as a normal person
>Super scrawny and weak as a result
>Out of breath after going up a single flight of stairs
>13, Learn about pectus, want surgery
>Get diagnosed, surgery is lined up: modified ravitch procedure
>Super painful, basically involves breaking the connections of the sternum to ribs
>Sweet.
>Surgery is 2 hours from my house, and I’ll need to stay for a week
>The hospital is the biggest I’ve ever been in. Basically the size of a college campus
>Hospital is so big it literally has a Starbucks inside of it
>Argue with my parents and my dad calls me hateful before the surgery
>Getting prepped for surgery, nurse, I shit you not, asks, “What’s with your face?” because of my acne
>Get everything set up, IV and all. They even gave me an epidural
>The epidural was weird. I felt the needle going through my spine, and there was pressure inside of my chest on the other side.
>Totally painless though. Would recommend over the vast amount of pain the surgery causes.
>The meds have kicked in, I already feel like I’m in a sea of clouds
>Get carted off to the surgery room
>Told to count backwards from 10
>10, 9, 8, 7…
>Wake up and the first thing I notice is horribly dry mouth
>Nurse shoving minty sponge in my mouth
>”I’m thirsty”
>”We’ll get you water, first suck on this. Your breath stinks.”
>Get taken to my room. 16 at the time, so I was stuck in the children’s ward
>They ended up needing to put in two IVs
>Super high on the pain meds. I keep falling asleep and saying weird things.
>My parents have to sleep in the room with me
>Sometime around this point, I realized there was a catheter in me.
>Even a tube coming out of my chest. It was always filled with blood.
>I brought my laptop so I mostly just watched Youtube videos
Born with severe pectus excavatum
>Falling asleep quickly became a problem, I even fell asleep while drinking water, causing it to spill everywhere
>The only foods I can eat are transparent liquids. Broth and frosties.
>I fucking love broth so I didn’t even mind
>The frosty I got was apple pie flavored. Tasted good.
>In addition to the painkillers they had me on through the IV and epidural, I had daily shots and pills.
>Pills were for pain and constipation. Apparently painkillers cause pretty bad constipation if used too much, so they were giving me stool softeners
>Basically have nothing in my system besides liquids, so I don’t need to shit anyway
>The first day was mostly a blur. I was super high, and I don’t remember much else.
>The second day, I woke up to the most painful erection I’ve ever had.
>My penis quickly learned not to get erect else suffer the consequences
>Never got an erection again while the catheter was in.
>Have physical therapy
>Physical therapist was at least 8/10, blond
>One of the first things I remember saying to her was, “You know what really hurts?”
>”What?”
>”Getting an erection with a catheter”
>Her face went totally red, and we continued onto physical therapy
>Didn’t even realize what I said
>Walking around
>Walking at the pace of a triple-amputee turtle because walking with a catheter is a very difficult balancing act
>Any movement slightly pulls on it
>Physical therapist still says I’m doing great
>While walking, my best friend shows up, and we hang out for a while
>Utterly wasted on pain meds, so it was pretty fun
>Get apple pie frostie for dinner. Tastes kinda off
>Third day, starting to get used to things
>The catheter gets backed up sometimes and it scares the hell out of me, but never causes any more problem than a bit of inconvenience
>Just have to angle the tube right and it fixes itself. If they’re gentle enough it doesn’t even hurt
>Getting in and out of bed is the actual most painful thing
>Try getting into bed with two IVs, an epidural, a catheter, and a jackson pratt drain coming out of your chest while weak from surgery and fucked up on pain meds
>More than once my catheter got caught on something
>Get apple pie frostie for lunch. Absolutely disgusting. I can’t even stand it.
>For the rest of the stay, totally traumatized by the apple pie frosties
>Walking faster in physical therapy
>Fourth day
>One of the nurses takes out my catheter
>First they deflate the balloon
>Feel hot water being sucked out of my dick through a straw
>Not necessarily painful, but more uncomfortable than anything I can imagine
>It was sucked out faster than I would pee it out, so it felt super unnatural
>Once it’s all done, she pulls out
>I swear for a moment it was like everything froze and the photoshop smear effect was applied to everything
>Made a noise somewhere between a high pitch scream and a squeak
>Jackson pratt drain is taken out
>It’s stitched into me, so they have to take the stitches out
>ouch
>It’s coiled up in my chest, so I can feel it snaking around in my body as it comes out
>It hurt, but at this point I was just happy to have this shit out of me
>The epidural is taken out.
>Literally don’t even notice that they took it out or did anything
>Seriously, epidurals aren’t that bad
>Best friend visits again. Now I can walk semi-normal because of my freed penis
>(Although free, it did burn a little. Especially when I pissed)
>My IVs didn’t even need to be taken out, they just disconnected them while spent time with my friend
>We went to the activity room. They had Wii games and air hockey table
>Still pretty fucked up on drugs, so I laughed at everything
>Major reconstructive thoracic surgery and laughing do not mix
>Every laugh felt like I was being hit with a hammer
>Still couldn’t stop laughing
>Friend is one of those people who is naturally super funny
>Cracking my sides up
>Friend leaves
>Spend rest of the day and night laying in bed, finally get some solid food
>SushiTime.jpg
>Literally haven’t eaten food in so long that it’s kind of weird to swallow the stuff again.
>Finally something that isn’t broth
>I love you broth
>Broth is friend
>But holy fuck I was so happy to finally have something that wasn’t god damned broth
>The sushi was actually fairly good too
>Now that I’ve eaten solid food, doctors say it’s about time I take a shit
>Feel the shit in me
>Been so long since I shat, I forgot how to use those muscles
>Nothing comes out
>They give me apple juice
>Nothing.
>They give me prune juice
>Nothing.
>They give me laxatives
>Nothing
>That night I’m not so drugged up so I stay up a bit later and watch King of the Hill
>At this point, all the nurses like me
>It’s the children’s ward, so most of the other patients scream and cry whenever they get a shot
>Some of them will say shit like, “I hate you” to the nurses
>I’m the only patient in the whole ward that says please and thank you
>I’m the only patient in the whole ward who doesn’t freak out from shots or pills
>I’m the only patient in the whole ward the nurses can have a conversation with
>Talk to one of the nurses about King of the Hill before going to sleep
>Fifth day
>Wake up to some nurses making a commotion in my room
>They’re trying to give me a suppository
>My surgeon comes in and tells them not to do that, for he has a different plan
>They all leave and one nurse comes back with two jugs
>Both jugs are filled with clear liquid
>Two different liquids, they’re taken together when you get a colonoscopy to clear out the system
>I’m expected to drink both entire jugs
>Start drinking
>They both taste kinda weird, but I try to soldier on
>Eventually they don’t just taste weird to me
>The flavor and texture slowly becomes nauseating
>”If I drink any more of this, I’m going to vomit”
>”You have to drink both jugs”
>Take a few more sips
>Vomit everywhere
>Entire floor is covered
>Still can’t shit
>Nurse comes in, same nurse who took out my catheter
>Flips me over and shoves a suppository up my ass
>I can feel it in there, and I want to shit it out
>”So, when do I go shit?”
>”Whenever you feel like you have to”
>”I have to right now”
>”Then yeah go shit”
>Go to the bathroom and try to shit
>Nothing
>The suppository is stuck in there
>brbkms.gif
>Break down crying because I just wanna go home and I can’t shit
>Parents take me downstairs to get some Starbucks
>I get a plain coffee
>On the elevator ride back up, I feel a familiar rumble in my tummy
>As soon as the elevator gets to the children’s ward I bolt for the toilet
>Sit down and get ready to shit
>It’s been so long since I’ve shat I really feel like I forgot how to
>Can’t really push
>Just try to relax the muscles
>Massive torrent of diarrhea spews out
>Enormous mound of shit fills up nearly the entire toilet
>It looks like the Great Pyramid of Giza
>Get discharged from hospital
>Have diarrhea every hour for next two days
bump
that the end?
did they discharge you with acne medication?
Bump
Good read. How's your chest look these days?
Shoulda kept it so you could eat cereal outta it
Makes no sense. Fuck off op. An epidural and they knocked you out? They don't leave epidurals in that long either and if you had it how were you walking around? Fucking retard.
>Get discharged with oxycodone
>Get home
>Eat dinner
>Go to Wal-Mart
>Buy Magic the Gathering cards and condoms
>Go home
>Sleep
>Wake up screaming from chest pains
>Apparently I can't sleep on my back
>Eventually recover
>6 months later go get the bar removed
>I still have the bar
Every time I look at it, it brings back so many memories
This
It's a true story and the fact that you think the smoking gun is that they gave me an epidural shows how absolutely retarded you are.
They had a stand that rolled with me while I walked. Have you never been to a hospital? Have you never seen an epidural?
Fuck off dipshit.
>>Born with severe penis excavatum
Then obviously you're clearly gay.
the bar?
...
My chest looks way better than it did. I have this big crescent shaped scar tho.
That was interesting OP
Nice read op thankyou
Aw fuck did I seriously forget to mention part of the surgery is putting a bar under the sternum so it stays in place?
Maybe I am retarded
>You know what really hurts?
>Getting an erection with a catheter
kek
(Not OP)
There's a bar that looks like a " } " they put in. I'm a pediatrician and have actually been present for one of these surgeries back in medschool Pretty violent when they rotate the bar to break the bones
Ouch
show us
Post pic of the bar with timestamp
I had moderately bad pectus and got the Nuss procedure when I was 13 or something. Now that I'm 22, I'm so glad I had it done. Chest is perfectly normal and I only have two small scars on the side of my chest.
Post shirtless pic so we can judge.
i decided not to get that shit because the surgery looked like too much.
Yea op show us ur reconstructed chest
Post your chest now.
post pic m8
nice
Holy shit this brings back so many memories. I had a Nuss procedure when I was 16 and the epidural started leaking so had to get it removed. The pain was unbearable, felt like a junkie calling the nurses for painkillers (which they shot right out into my blod)
...
hab the same surgery when i was 22. didnt hurt much actually. had the bar removal 4 years later, one year ago. my lower rips are still slightly asymmetric though (only one side was sunken in, the other side was perfectly normal). gonna have another surgery sometimes soon i think to try and get it fixed.
My chest
this is a less compressed picture of the bar
show a picture of ur chest please
a biohazard bag. kek.
Weird that you got it in a biohazard bag. I just got mine like this.
[spoiler] does it look cool [/spoiler]
>t. guy with medium pectus excavatum
Had it when I was 12. I remember it being incredibly painful but not enough for it to leave a lasting mark. I don't even think about it much any more. Still a scrawny fuck.
wtf I did post a pic of my chest and it turned into that girl
There was a kid with this at my school when I was quite small. Someone told us he was a pirate and lived on a ship and got hit by a cannon ball one day.
Damn I only got two scars on each side of my chest.
lol those scars. how incompetent were your doctors?
apart from that, looks fine.
good. hell of an improvement from first photo.
glad you feel better about it. don't worry about that scar. it aint shit... compared to pre-scar.
Someone screencap pectoranon
Also share more stories OP
scars on a guy are nothing bad anyways.
In high school i wrestled with two brothers who has it as bad if not worse than the picture you showed me and it never slowed them down.
Maybe you were just a pussy teenagers, op
Wow you are great op, keep it up
Jesus... that's the improvement??
I would have just lived with the pectus thing.
I didn't really read this cause it was very long...
I never thought I would fully read something like this. Good Job OP
chest looks way better and scar is badass
Looks good OP thanks for telling us your story.
You're a fucking drama queen. I had open heart surgery for a aorta replacement due to Marfans, pretty much the same type of surgery you had.
Yes, it's painful and a weird experience, but it's a week in the hospital, then back to work after 6 weeks. In the grand scheme of things, not that big a deal.
>none of my family realized something was wrong
Why are families always so fucking clueless?
I laughed.
Nice rack man
Heh. Sounding.
Geat story OP
is your name jesse?
Looking good homie, thanks for sharing
Thanks for the story, made me laugh. Also, that shit looks gnarly as fuck