Hey guys.... My mom and dad just threw me into the bathroom and gave me pic related because "I smelled like weed"
They told me to use it and "it better turn out to be a negative or else!". By that I'm assuming I'll be a bum on the street.
I'm in the bathroom now... They told me to hurry up and be done quick. How can I pass this? Also I don't feel like peeing... How to induce it?
I told them I'm going to shower first to buy myself some time
Also I was thinking of calling a friend over to give me his piss... But they're all sleeping now and plus I'm on the 22nd floor so they can't sneak something into the window
your fucked user.
I can't be man. M I have to pass this and I'm sure there is a way please help
>Dip the cup your using to collect piss into the toilet
>piss into the cup
The toilet water will dilute your piss so the drug test will be fooled
You’re welcome user
take a shit in it and give it back to them
Make a dilution from your own urine. Try to take a piss before actually taking the test if possible, so you can have less potent urine. Urinate a small amount and then add warm (body temp) water to it until it is a very pale yellow. Then. take the test. It should be either invalid or negative.
Actually don’t do this user, grab a knife from the kitchen and murder your parents instead. They rather have their own child on the street instead of smoking weed, I say just kill em
best reply
this one
I've heard that adding a few drops of bleach to the sample will clean it, never tried it though
Fill the cup with water, not your piss. Stop being a cunt
Ignore this user OP
listen to me >Take cup you’re using to collect urine
>Add toilet water to it (don’t use the sink before flushing the toilet or parents might get suspicious)
>Pee in cup
>give to parents
Add as much water as the cup will hold along with your be. Better to have an obnoxious amount of water/piss in the cup than fail the drug test
use water
it will give a false reading
then your parents will have to buy another test
repeat until they give up or insist on watching you do the test
Drink as much water as you can. Don't kill yourself though.
I'm talking like 4-5 16 oz glasses.
I had to retake a drug test because my urine was too diluted after drinking a lot of water.
It bought me another week even though I didn't need it.
OP is a lying faggot
This will also work, at least for this test because specific gravity isn't an issue.
That's what you get for being a loser ungrateful druggie punk.
My friend had literal probation with drug tests taken by state for at least a year straight.
He smoked weed regularly. . . he was 125 pounds 5'6 though.
Fill it with water; even if you drank a gallon of water it won't come out of your dick for another few hours.
Good speed little niglet
This, I believe you can pre dip your hands in bleach, ask for a witness, as you piss let it drip from your fingers to cup, should be negative but not 100 percent!
Fucking throw it back at them and tell them you'll do what the fuck you want and it isn't their god damn business.
Leave on your own terms, don't live a slave.
Fucking go join the army or something (well you'll need to pass a pisser for that) but get the fuck out.
Drinking beers and smoking weed as a teenager is as american as apple fucking pie.
You know what teenagers do? They drink beer smoke weed, and they fuck each other like rabbits.
Tell your parents to fuck right off.
Now if you're getting bad grades that's a different story. Fix that shit for yourself and your future. Kids with good grades don't live with their parents until their 40 or go to prison.
Was he jailed for animal cruelty? Cause that whale needs to be thrown back in the ocean.
I saw this comment too late... I decided to just risk it and take a piss... I mean I've only smoked for like a month so who knows.... Anyway I gave them my piss bottle... They dipped it in there for 10 seconds and left it on the table with a a marker mark. They said "in 15 minutes we will come back here and see the results.
This is what came out.... Am I fucked?
Drink lots of water and always give from the end of the stream! 2l or more!
open the door
piss on the floor
tell your parents to walk the dinosaur
Slow down there, tough guy.
dirty fingers. i can already tell what type of useless shit you are with your hands alone, its no wonder your parents talk to you like a fucking kid
nigga u good. just come out smiling and be offended that they would put u up to that shit,
u passed it
Winrar
Lol you failed.
Your fault. That's what you get for being a drug addict, fagget.
You're fucked harder than a Filipino hooker, buddy-boy
glad to get a you from one of my most hideous pictures in my Sup Forums folder lel
Seriously.
Dude that's one of those fucking dummy tests you can get from the joke stores (like spencers).
It always fucking comes up positive lol.
Your parents fucking punked you like a little bitch.
Just go with the joke or call them out, your choice.
R.I.P. OP
have fun on the streets user
Why didn't you just dip the strip in the toilet lol
drink as much water as possible before you shower, in fact drink shower water if you have too, dilution is your only hope
also only put in mid stream urine
Have fun sucking cock for handfuls of change, you stoner fag
You forgot the 'your fucking dead kiddo' bit user
Update us with a hobo bindle selfie complete with joint in lips OP
so what's the punishment? gobba suck cock for sheckles?
you don't have a red biro?
looks like you're pregnant. Congrats user!
>kicking out their baby because of a fucking plant
You don't deserve them. Get out of that hellhole.
Time to start a band cheech
Total whale makes me flaccid, but that tattoo looks good.
jump off the 22nd floor, presto
Go yo your parents.
Tell them "I am not showing you the test, I am telling you the truth."
Imply it was a dare. That you liked the feeling in your longs but then you felt dizzy for a few hours and that's not a feeling worth it. That you do not plan on smoking week evelyne again, even though to be honest you glad you tried because now you know why it sucks.
Then pose the table on the table. "I can take another one in a few week to prove I am honest."
Slightly Imply your parents should have talked with you instead of testing, that you are hurt by the lack of confidence.
Your dad won't by your shit but you will get your mom on your side.
Dubs for this
This is one way to show your parents what kind of man you are.
OP is kill
those tests are inaccurate af, just dilute your piss at least 30% piss 70% water nd it will pass
Underated advice
he already took it without reading thread and it came out positive kek
Tell ur parents that u din do nuffin.
ICP, jeebus!
Trailer trash material
Criminally underrated
And needle in neck
Holy fuck why did you piss on it. Hahaha get fugged
RIp user, i look forward to seeing a I need a place to live thread next
who is this godess
A member of the WHOOP WHOOP FAM obviously
This
If they're not checking you when you're pissing just put some soap on the fucking thing. I've heard of my mates doing that
remind me again why its legal to throw family out and make them homeless in land of the free? seems like a prime way to make reckless criminals
>2017
>not living in a state with legal pot
>people still lose their minds over a lil weed
Oh dear me you people are silly.
This could work. Say you didn't realize it was a pee only test and you couldn't pee no matter how hard you tried. It'll buy you a few days to get your hands on some clean piss.
Which of the legal states have the best gun laws too?
Too bad op is a dumbass bitch
Oregon
Thx
user fucking carry cologne with you in your car so you dont fucking smell like weed. Pretty simple rule of smoking weed.
Your fucked as far as this test goes. Unless you can work out in that small bathroom your done for.
jump out of 22nd floor window.
You really played yourself, OP.
i feel like this reply is too overlooked
>2017
>drug testing your kid for weed
>How can I pass this?
by not doing drugs. how did you not know this.
Nevada
Oregon is for hipsters
Look into getting a job and going no contact with your parents OP, if theyre willing to throw their kid out for weed instead of helping him out they are shitty people and deserve to be abandoned.
>"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter"
you got a pen? make a second line by hand
OP is r.i.p
dip it in water you idiot
I'll take a barren desert wasteland over one cyclist bearded spitfuck asking me what my favorite microbrew is.
Fuck that place, I'll pump my own gas thank you.
Nah but in all seriousness how's the weather there? I wanna move to a country with legal pot
Summer is hot as hell, and winter is cold as hell. If you can handle weird weather you'll be fine. It isn't bad living in a desert. If you want to check it out; visit Lake Tahoe any time of the year or Vegas in the fall. Most people fall in love with Lake Tahoe and never leave.
oregons weather is nice, but it is kinda hipstery and bull shit liberalism. But surprisingly portland and other shit has low crime rate. Nevada is a fun city but high crime rate and drugs if you know your right people. Careful moving here run into the wrong people you might get shot or stabbed by the homeless. If you have enough money and a good job get a nice condo here dont get a shitty apartment
red pen would fix that
and how would any line appear?
I'm used to big temperature differences so that shouldn't bad too bad
I just wanna live somewhere with nice weather, legal weed and the opportunity to own a fuckton of weapons
you only have one realistic option and its manipulation.
method A. wriggle your way out of taking the test. you will still face consequences but this way you can say they never had any proof of the drug in your system.
method B. take the test and prepare entirely for it to be positive. convince them to buy you another test as you are sure this one is false positive, in the mean time sober up your body as much as possible. i recommend a sodium cleanse.
method C. run. dont take the test and leave it in the bathroom. when you return in how ever long you feel is necessary (hours, days, weeks), be prepared to lay as much guilt as possible on them for forcing you into such a stressful position when they had no proof you were taking any drugs.
method D. this one is as shitty as it gets. scream cry and yell like a retarded child. this will either get your parents to want to calm you down and talk to you, which will give you a chance. or they will call the police and you are fucked.
just fuxking use water
scratch the line off. make it look invalid
at least your parents love you enough to spend $1.48 at Wal-Mart on a Chinese drug test kit to see if your a useless stoner.
face your medicine for turning into a degenerate drug using faggot
Stephen Paddock was the 32nd floor. What would Stephen Paddock do?
You're an idiot you have to drink the bleach and piss that into the cup. Not sure the amount though. Ask a doctor first.