Ask a Jew anything

Ask a Jew anything.

(Have dual Israeli Citizenship, had Bar mitzvah, the works.)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=kQ1u9Fno3jU
beingjewish.com/conversion/becomingjewish.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

If you'll have to choose between losing all your jew gold or eating pork
Which one?

Man tbh I can barely afford my electric bill idk where all this gold is people keep telling me about lmao.

As for the pork, well, back then when the only sanitation was.. well, there wasn't any to speak of, it made sense not to eat pork, cause pigs are disgusting af.

Not to say I havent TRIED it. My first pork meal was bacon and eggs, and it was pretty good honestly, but I'd probably never eat it again.

My dumbass just realized I didn't answer your question. Eat pork, honestly. Pork makes me feel bad but losing a theoretically large portion of gold would suck way more. .

Whats better, being a cuck or being a pedo?

In my own opinion being either one would suck ass, but on the one hand, your wife is giving it up to another man, and on the one hand you have to let your neighbors know you're a sex offender which is an entire cavalcade of awkward.

Definitely a cuck.

did you fuck an israeli soldier on your birthright trip

is lil dicky part of the jew media crusade?

Interesting you brought that up!

I did indeed go on a BI trip a handful of years back, and as excited as I was, no woman was interested enough to have sex with me.

I spent my nights there drinking by myself and watching youtube. I hate myself.

Wouldn't know. Know nothing about the guy.

im....im sorry.

Do you like Curb Your Enthusiasm?

How often do you fantasize about raping blonde gentile girls? Three times a day? Five? More?

Ya like Latkas? Latkas are fuckin tasty.

youtube.com/watch?v=kQ1u9Fno3jU

Yes.

Do you like tomato?

Not my thing. No judgement, but not for me.
Even if I wasn't Jewish, I'd still be insanely crazy for anything potato. Knish and latke is definitely my favorite potato recipe for it, though, maybe besides potato cakes.

Silly hat?
Ironic silly hat (pic related)?
Full bearskin hat?
Tassels out the bottom of your shirt?
Box on forehead to pray?
Wrap your hands in magic leather?
Rock back and forth and mumble to yourself?
Put elevator buttons on Saturdays?
Glorious Ashkenazi/Dirty Shepardi/Fake Nigger Jew who needed extra oaths to join the club?
What diameter is your couscous?

pic related :)
Tbh I'm too lazy to reply to all of these.

How long are your horns?

I'd only like to have horns if they were a certain type. I'd like them to be long enough to decorate so they'd look less unaesthetic.

It's okay. I'm sure usury is exhausting.

Damn that burned me hard. I admit defeat lol.

...

Yep, you're Jewish

Man that topic has me very conflicted if I can be honest with you. Israel as a nation has many sides and valid arguments to me made for its existence.


...but that being said the only reason I applied for dual citizenship is it's nice to have options. I feel kinda bad for admitting that but thereya go.

What do you think of all the stupid "jews run the world" conspiracies.

Some of them are interesting, like that they're aliens or Hitler was a Jewish sleeper agent planted in Germany to have Israel become possible.

But honestly I think it's simply because Jews are so routinely shit on that they're the go-to candidate for the 'secretly vengeful' group of the world.

Now, that being said, I think it's a hold-over from the post-Christianization of Rome where Jews were persecuted after for not accepting Jesus. This 'meme' basically spread across all of Christendom so the idea that it's still a widely held belief even today is honestly no surprise to me.

But honestly I don't really mind them, I myself don't feel persecuted.

If I was Christian or Athiest people could still make fun of me for being a neet piece of garbage so lol.

Can a gentile become a Jew? Is there any way to convert?

>vampires in Anglophone thought
>100 years before Dracula
1/10 - was it even called Palestine in 1789? It would have been thoroughly Ottoman.

Do Christian or Muslim babies taste better?

To be honest, I'm required by my faith to discourage you from doing so. Only the most sincere of converts will be allowed in, because a lot of people want to convert just because they 'feel like it'. Any Rabbi will discourage you, too, because they want to make sure you actually wish to convert.

That in itself, is a part of the process. Here's some info.

beingjewish.com/conversion/becomingjewish.html

It's mostly correct, but it's a big lifestyle change so if you're interested I'd really give the process a thorough look-through. Don't just skim through the pamphlet.

A study from a lot of self-admitting cannibals say that western human meat tastes better because Western diets consist largely of fatty substances.

I wouldnt know tbh, I'll just stick to reading first-hand accounts.

What's your worst experience related to your Judaism?

Is it pronounced "barmitzvah", "bahmitzvah", or "batmitzvah"?

I've heard all 3 throughout my life but I don't know any Jewish people personally.

In middle-school I was routinely messed with for being Jewish.

I only feel comfortable admitting this anonymously but some kids once held me down and put cigarettes out on my arm.

Pic related.

Bar mitzvah is for males, Bat mitzvah is for females. Bar, and Bah is purely subject to dialect, though none are incorrect. And though even I said it in a way that English speakers could understand, the term "Having a Bar Mitzvah" is wrong, it's "Someone becomes a bar mitzvah."

Well that's it for me. Night Sup Forums, work tomorrow. :^)