Shit you hate in porn

Shit you hate in porn.
This always makes for an entertaining topic.

>"Innocent 18yo schoolgirl" with fake nails and trashy tattoos
>When the guy has those tacky, garbage tribal sleeve tattoos
Really annoys me for some reason
>Gaping
>Cameraman starts talking
SHUT THE FUCK UP
>When the guy fucking the hot young girl in the video is a hairy old dude with a huge beer gut
>"Creampie" with just the very tip of his dick barely inside her
>When the girl gets a creampie and immediately starts pushing all the cum out

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=CWokQN7nVuU
cuteboytube.com/video/729704-playing-with-their-joysticks.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

I just plain don't like porn.

Also when the video title/description/thumbnails leave out really key details.
>Watching some video of a guy and girl fucking
>It's actually pretty hot and I'm really into it
>After 15 minutes or whatever the guy pulls out and shoots a big load all over her ass
>Fucking nice
>Then suddenly and without warning he starts pissing all over her

The sex I'm all for the storyline

>camera plan on the guy's face when he cums

>Elaborate storyline is set up to justify sex
>As soon as they take their pants off they drop the act and proceed fuck like chimpanzees and the original plot is never even mentioned again

This is why I hate Western porn

>Mfw the guy moans more than the girl

When it's not made by an ameteur couple that's incredibly turned on.

Why the hell do you care what tattoos the guy has,why would you even be looking at his arms in the first place?

Tbh I prefer when the guy makes a little bit of noise, just so it seems like he's really enjoying it.
But nothing is more annoying than when he loudly moans and yells nonstop. And for fuck's sake absolutely nobody wants to hear him talking.

Solution:
Spend time you'd be watching porn to improve yourself enough to get laid

Hate how they always fuck really aggressively, I like that slow, sensual shit

For some reason I'm overly bothered by really shitty tattoos and it carries over to porn.
On either of them, but that tends to be the most egregious type that shows up frequently.
Gee thanks for the advice. I get laid, but it doesn't make you stop watching porn ever.

Any noise coming from the male.

Anything that ends with the guy just jerking himself off.

>all the sites with shitty ads about some other porn site that magically bypass adblockers and the site itself has an adblock blocker
>censoring
>heavily focusing on the feet for some reason
>piss
>enormous tits

i like that you like Karl Pilkington OP.

>Guy is fucking the living shit out of some poor tart and she is just getting pummelled and destroyed and he's beating the puuuusay' up.

>camera fag pas out to show from rear the guy going balls deep

>continues to pan out and shows guys ballsack slapping her box

>continues to pan out and camera stops and centers on dudes asshole. No focus on the girls vag, or her bouncing tits, or that she is screaming that her pussy was 17 last week and "plz fuck me harder, Mister!!!"

>Camera fuckers, if you gay, and shooting straight porn, stop filming dudes face and assholes.

>says creampie in title
>cums on tits,face, or anywhere else thats not inside her

I always use noscript, but on some of those sites I cannot just get video unless I allow all that other bullshit too. Super annoying
>heavily focusing on the feet for some reason
This, footfags already have dedicated foot porn, I hate when they try to cater to them in lots of otherwise unrelated stuff when 99% of the audience is not into it anyways

Facials.
>balls deep in beautiful woman
>pulls out
>"get off me bitch, I have to finish this myself!"
>jerks off
How is this not the gayest thing?

>watching porn
ISHYGDDT

I hate it when the title says “teen”, but then the chick ends up being like 20

It seems super common too to find "creampie" videos where he pulls out an cums ON her pussy.
Like how can these people actually not know the difference?

>chick starts sucking guys dick
>it is so limp & deflated
>chick continues to suck anyways

>Video indicates that the guy cums twice
>There is actually only one but they fool you into spending 10 minutes looking for the first one

I just stick to pics, and i have noscript

>camera fag pans out to show from rear the guy going balls deep
Reminded me of this:
youtube.com/watch?v=CWokQN7nVuU

I hate how this is in 90% of average porn
Like I can deal if she is at least the one doing it, but when it comes down to the guy jerking himself off the girl might as well fucking leave since she's not even touching him or doing anything at this point.

>Tattoos, especially on women
>Closeup of the guys face when he blows his load
>When she starts crying
>When he's too much of a wuss to put it in her and just rubs it on her
>When she starts asking to play with her toys in the middle of it
>The dead eyes of cambodian brothel rats
>When he lets her give the worlds worst lickjob instead of grabbing her head and fucking it till he comes
>Making her stay stiff lines like "I love your cum daddy"
>Reading about his capture and indictment by white knights.

Amen. I like the straightforwardness of Middle Eastern Porn. Or as the westerners call it "Rape on Phone Cam"

Based Karl
>What if we're making too much stuff and it's too heavy for the world to take?

>tattoos
Well, they're in porn. They're not really bastions of Good Decision Making. And with the women, they kind of have to take what they can get.

paid porn ain't much better
it's just the porn industry has become such trash.
lately been watching stuff a little older but not real old

>watching 3DPD
There's your problem

...

>enf comic
>turns into rape

>When the porn has about all of my fetishes in one but it was done back in 2006 with a shitty webcam so it has all of 10 pixels and looks like I'm trying to beat off to a van gogh painting on a 1920x1080 screen.

>when the camera guy pans to the guys face as he nuts

>when the camera guy pans to point of penetration and the cameraman focuses on the guy's balls or asshole

>when the video ends after a creampie so the only thing you see is just a bit of it coming out

>when the female porn star has a fucked up voice and wont shut the fuck up

>in japanese porn where the girl sounds like someone is stomping on a rabbit for the entire duration of the video

The terrible acting in incest porn
Like the standard for porn acting of course is not that high to begin with, but in incest-themed stuff it seems to generally be even more laughably terrible
>Stop it big brother!
>Okay fine you can put it in just for a second!
>Oh no, what if mom and dad come home?

You are now a God. Have fun!

>watchinh fake taxi porn
>guy starts eating puss
>moves to ass
>they fuck
>girl then starts eating dick
>moves to ass
>mfw he moans better

>girls crying and asking for it to stop
Jeez, so melodramatic, will you tine down the overacting?
>when she starts wailing and crying when her dad brings tge Rottweiler into the room
Come on, its not like its the first time girl.
> that look of defeat and hopelessness after its done.
Just stop laying it on so thickly, jeez.

I mean, an i right?

Then just don't watch incest porn,you sick fuck.

Or what about when nearly all professional porn won’t stop being such pussies about incest and actually mean it.

>well I guess it’s ok since I’m your step mom
>well I guess we can fuck since you’re my step brother

JESUS CHRIST IT ISNT HOT IF YOURE NOT ACTUALLY RELATED

when its homemade, the tv is always fucking on in the background.

Do you have a link for this shit?

I actually don't get off on the incest part, those type of videos just tend to combine a lot of the things I actually like. I just try to put up with dialogue.

holy shit this, I also hate it

>hot teen boy fucks NOT his mom

come the fuck on

>Fucking/blowing/whatever in a car
>The radio is on and playing some annoying bullshit
There's one I really like, but the thing I remember most from it is just the fucking loud diamond store commercial playing while she's swallowing his load.

>the WORD of all thing of incest porn?

>the FACT that they mumble their introductions and never follow in character that they are pounding/getting pounded by said relation.

>"oh deddy', plz fuck my veeergin' puuusay"

>"or babygirl, be a good goo doll for daddy"

>"take your daddys dick deep in your womb"

I always assumed that was something the admins on those sites did, they must have some retarded rule about it or something.

>tfw you go on gelbooru and none of the thumbnails load all of a sudden

When the title is nothing but click bate like " real dad on daughter action"

I didn't know Rocco did incest porn.

>if I can tell the girl is faking it
>then I'm completely turned off
>she has to sell it a little better

This is why Angela White’s stuff is so great. Bitch seems to actually love doing porn it’s honestly a turn on

mother fuckin CUTSCENES

>"Cum in mouth"
>He just jacks himself off onto her tongue
For fuck's sake, one of the hottest things for me is when she actually sucks him off into her mouth (probably since it's the best-feeling shit in real life), why is that so hard to find

Circumcised dicks
SCAR TISSUE AND CROOKED DICKS EVERYWHERE

Hell, or even pretending to be related? In the 70's, there was incest porn coming out constantly. Brothers fucking sisters, daughters fucking dads, uncles fucking everyone in the family. Hell, there were a couple dutch ones where it was actual incest.

Nowadays, it's "brother fucks his stepsister" and when you open it up it won't even be that, it's like their stepsisters friend. You can't even play to a fantasy because someone from Survivors of Rape and Incest might have a shitfit. Even on redtube/youporn/xhamster etc thee titles are "Young teen fucks her NOT brother" to get past the pussies.

Do a search for "rape" on xhamster. It refers you to an online counseling site. Eventually we can look forward to the death of interracial porn because of Cultural Appropriation.

what? I watch incest porn because incest is fucking hot. fucking my cousin is the hottest memory I have

>sexy teen
>it's not a teen

Well that's because it would be illegal

Some of the best shit I've ever watched is ruined by cutscenes. All immersion is lost when just before the chick is about to sit on the guys dick, you cut to her riding. what the fuck is that all about?

Well yeah I meant pretending to be normally related. Find real as hell incest porn? I just always considered it impossible to find or it was filmed with the shittiest camera ever.

And eh, interracial porn is probably only to get bigger with time since white girls fucking black guys seems to rustle plenty of jimmies everywhere lmao

just the poem from nights in white satin
kek

>Dude grunting or moaning
>Close up shots of taint and sack
>Close up of dude's O-face
>Rimming
>Foot/toes sucking
>Black dudes in any context.

18/19 year old is not illegal. that's the whole 'teen' genre. I'd be fine with 20-21 year old but most 'teens' are 25+

>Blowjobs
why would i want to see some dude's dick in close up?

While I get that they do this because sometimes the guy cums too fast and they gotta pick back up later or he becomes flaccid and needs to take some viagra to stay hard it’s still annoying as shit

Looking for schoolgirl porn
>Actress has HUGE tits

Real incest porn exists. But it usually involves dad and his 8 year old daghter in the bathroom during visitation rights weekend.

You know who's a turn off for me?
BONNIE ROTTEN!

I CAN'T and I mean CAN'T watch ANYTHING with her in it!

Those spider web tattoos on her nipples just gross me out!

> be looked by for schoolgirl porn
> girl has huge tits and tattoos

What makes it believable for me is the Russian stuff where it's the older woman with the ~18 year old boy.

whena fucking loud ass siren starts going off mid-way into a hot scene and they dont cut away or even acknolege it so you totally lose your fucking boner and lose teh full indepth feeling you had while watching

skip to 18:30, but if you watch from teh begining you'd see how fucking focus breaking it is

and its SO fucking rare to get hot twinks to do shoots without shitty music, or fake moaning, this more realistic style ASMR porno is the best

cuteboytube.com/video/729704-playing-with-their-joysticks.html

Everyone who's masturbated to porn for the last 100 years? People like to watch people fuckin.

You might wanna see the doctor. You seem to have a pretty severe case of the NotGays.

I guess this is because they don't want actual incest themed porn on their sites. the NOT his mom thing is fake incest 90% of the time but they bypass the dumb rule by puttin NOT in the title

Well, it's also realistic because russians in places like Siberia will do just about anything to make money to cover housing and food, include fuck their family members on camera.

That girl in the left bottom looks reaaaly young. Is this vintage cp?

or how bout when any fucking video just slaps incest or "brother/sister" on it when its a fucking video we all have seen and know they arent

literally every fucking bf/gf who wanna start making pornos just throw that on there and its stupid as fuck

none of them know how to properly write a scene, they all have this stupid fucking trope of "talking like a little girl" meanwhile theres tons of fucking cellphone footage of actual high school girls sucking cock an shit on the same site talking normal

Looking for teens with big tits
'Teen' is synonym for skinny small tits girls

See, here's my problem.

I like titty fucking, and there are some good videos out there. But there are also just as many, if not more, where it's awful. She has no idea what she's doing, and never really finds a rhythm, can't get into it, and it just ends with her jerking him off between her tits whilst trying to making weird expressions with her tongue out like it's the most erotic shit you've ever seen.

Alternatively, there's videos where she has an incredible set of tits, and the guy is so poorly endowed he's not actually getting anywhere at all.

What's it like being unloved?

True facts, so likely some of it is legit.

My dick gets harder.

MHBHJ entire series is the pinnacle of blowjob porn

theres also a guy on clips4sale who does the two/three teasing tongues but theres only a few vids

but 99% of MHBHJ is awesome cause its usually ruining or not full sucking, especially the ones with sasha foxxx

seeing them just barely lick the head, or kiss the head and causing him to explode is hot af

>solo girl
>looks good
>open video
>she barely does anything, and she's listening to niggas rapping about stupid shit the entire time
>has really high ratings

>when the guy is louder than the girl
>condoms

yeah, those are the people who wind up in porn shit head

I dunno, maybe. You have quite the eye for the young ones don't you?

I hate condoms too. Especially when it's like, she's you're daughter, hasn't fucked anyone before so no STD's to catch and it's not like she's old enough to get pregnant.

Underrated post. Gave me a chuckle

>search for ballbusting or brutal cbt
>almost all results are girls focusing on the cock
>when they do step on the balls they just step on the empty sack causing the balls to push a bit down

also to this day ive only found 2 TWO real shit eating pornos, not "spread around and pretend to lick it even tho im just pushing it around like a shitty cum swallow shot where the girls dont actually swallow and just move it around an spit it out" but actually seeing it go into their mouth, then slowly disapear, along with the hot coughs and wretches

but i wish either qt boys did it instead or a girl

but only 2 and they were both german

>I like that slow, sensual shit
Me too!

There's something amazing about cumming on a girl's face. You clearly haven't done that.

>watching a rap video but the actress forgets and just smiles and shit

Tbh I have never seen the appeal, nothing about it seems especially hot to me. The only times I've cum ON a girl (as opposed to inside her or in her mouth) I shot my load on her stomach and tits. Honestly that does actually feel pretty hot still to me, moreso than a facial.

For me it's the ones where she does a deep, proper blowjob and sucks the guy's cum out in her mouth.
Little oral andie comes to mind as an example.

>the girl is hot but the guy's dick isn't nice
>the guy's dick is nice but the girl isn't hot