How do I break up with my girlfriend?

How do I break up with my girlfriend?

Need advice

What's stopping you from talking to her face to face

cheat on her and make her break up with you. done.

depends , why do you want to break up with her OP?

I'm not feeling it anymore. she's awesome. but I just want time, we're seeing each other waaaaay more thatn I'd want to.

not to mention, I had this scenario in my mind in which she fucked a friend of hers (the dude is reaaally in love with her, gave her free expensive tattoos and shit) so that I could have an excuse to gtfo from the relationship

your not feeling it anymore?.... wow great reason

then what, stay with her and be miserable because I don't feel I love her anymore? cmon

tits or gtfo

tits or gtfo doesnt really mean anything to guys OP you want me to send you a pic of my hairy nips?

>disconnect gas hose on stove
>set timer for 20min
>problem solved

Lol i broke up with my one and only girlfriend using these words. There was a lot more shit going on why i broke up with her, i tried not to hurt her though which probably didn't work, but well whatever.

Nice On-Stage micstand.

Is worth more than your fridge.
and floor, and ur whole apartment by the looks of it

>Feed her some Xanax
>Fuck her in the ass using as little lube as possible
>As you come deep in her ass, tell her "it's over, bitch" while punching her in the kidney.
So far not one of my exes has wanted to be in the same room as me. Win-win.

“Bye. Cya never”

>call a few local farms
>politely explain you're looking for a severed horse head to study bone structure in the skull for a report
>go get that head
>put in that dingey fridge facing out
>wait

you know that saying:
>its not you, its me
use that. no, dont say that to her.
use that as a guideline for your feelings.
you remove her from your future life. the part that now comes is about you. in order to deal with it, you have to stop being attached to her present and future. you have to focus on yourself.
nothing wrong with remembering good times, but the time ahead is what matters.

the breakup itself. prepare, make it swift and clear, be fair. the less insecure you are about your own feelings it will go.

>your not feeling it anymore?.... wow great reason

just seams like something a broad would say.

douse her in gasoline and chase her with a match

that'll do it

I'm telling you, they way they clench when you get a good punch in is indescribable.

it's not an appartmen, it's my studio, idiot

>seams
>broad

best & brightest, here on /b, all day every day

really? i feel like most people in the world would react this way especially after you said she was "awesome"

I'm already at the point of having removed msyelf form her future.
But the last sentence is wise advice, thks

I'm OP, i didn't say that

thank you for the grammar lesson.

Want to do it like a female? The masters of manipulation and emotion...easy

Gradually start replacing time you would hang out with her by working out and going out with friends... make it seem like you are just focusing on bettering yourself...

Then as she starts to catch wise that you are distancing yourself, she will question you with emotionally loaded questions "Do you still love me? Are we going to be together forever?"

Answer these questions with indifferent Yes and keep plowing with the gym and going out...

After about 2 months of this you will have a different mentality...hopefully a couple numbers in your phone and girls trying to fuck and you can cut it off and move right onto new prospects...

Be a man, I do not condone cheating, but if its time to cut ties then prepare yourself first...don't let her go unless your confidence is sky high or you have a back up and good social group

Let her be the one to break it off with you.
Make her want to leave you.
About 10min before you know she's going to be coming home, get down on all fours, pull the dog up on your back and sink his red rocket deep into your ass, right there on the living room floor. Then when she comes in act all embarrassed.

Easy peasy, plus, you get laid!

Fuck her one last time and wipe your cock on the curtain, that'l do it. You're welcome

>one and only
Hmmm.

wait what? who the fuck said this?

...

I find surprise buttecks followed by surprise Ass-To-Mouth is also very effective.

Again, confidence is already sky high, 2017 has been by far the best year of my life, in terms of accomplishments and shit.

It's more a matter of How should I break up with her.
BTW, sry for the broken english everybody.

Disregard that.

I'm OP

Finishing blowing a few niggers and then I'll get back on this thread.

listen to paul simons 50 ways to leave your lover.

I meant I didn't say sry for the mess

Just get on the Bus Gus

I'm OP

Actually I did say that.

I also said I can fit 3 black cocks in my ass

Why don't you just spend less time together? Why are you going from one extreme to the other? Fucking millennial dramatic bullshit.

man up and toss the whore out a fucking window.

make a new plan stan.

I was thinking of telling her that,
My guess is that if she takes it like crap, I'd have to leave.

Straight up dude, is she already in the fridge?

just tell her that you dont lover her anymore

pack her shit, toss it outside for her to see

change the locks and your phone number

dont acknowledge her existence
useless cunts dont deserve anything

Why? Why are you setting this up like it's some big deal if you have a difference about how you want to spend your time, or if she has a bad mood reaction? Why are you acting like it's some Romeo and Juliet shit? She will get over her bad mood in time. You can ask her to go on a date when you want to and tell her you have other things to do when you don't. What's with all the dramatic gay shit?