Anyone in Sup Forums have borderline personality disorder? im thinking i do and its kind of scaring me

anyone in Sup Forums have borderline personality disorder? im thinking i do and its kind of scaring me

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Nope but dated a girl once who was she was crazy. Loved anal and did ATM. But would cheat and was crazy. So enjoy

Had my first therapy meeting today, apparently I have some monsters under my bed I need to deal with. And should be on some kind of medication.

It wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be.

Borderline/bipolar reporting in. What do you want?

>tfw you wish you were bi polar so you get some mania instead of just downs

does it get better? like is it even worth seeking therapy? I feel like i just keep getting worse and im scared to even try to get theraoy

I have crippling autism

Nah, therapy is good. Been goin on/off for 3 years. It doesn't help much against bad feelings, but atleast you know why you are having them. For that there are meds. Also takin some since 2 months again.
It will get worse tho....therapy is a really long process.

Fuckin ups. I don't like coke because every bipolar high was 10 times better. Though i've lost 3/4 of all my friends in the last 2 years so there's that.

do you have comorbidity with anything else? cuz before i discovered bpd and read up on it i was p sure i have GAD and some depressive problem

>>has 1/4 friends
NORMIE LEAVE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

what am I going to have to say to a doctor to get some kind of meds but not locked away?

Not that i know of. I've been hopping through different therapists, so i've only got short-time diagnosis. Right now I also am going through a depressive phase since like a year(with a 4 month break of one of the suckiest highs i ever had).

23 in my case

Sorry i disappointed you, senpai.

yea cause 75 was an average age of death in Franklin's time... or now even.

I have chronic dysphoria

forgot pic

ahh okay. thank you so much for responding

Just tell them you're not seriously considering killing yourself or have made plans to kill yourself. That should keep you out of the loony bin

Dont you mean eupd ?
Its name changed also yeah wife has it

You won't get locked away! Just say you're depressive, heard about meds and (if you really wanna) want to give them a shot. But i recommend only together with therapy, since it fucks with your head a bit. Just say you want a light dose of any SSRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitors).

I wonder if I should bother, seeing as I am stoned all the time anyway. It would be in conjunction with therapy, therapy is main thing but the guy recommended seeing a doc.

No probs, i also looked for advice on Sup Forums 5 years ago when i first ahd some suspicion about it.

ya i'd recommend a psychatrist. Weed isn't AS bad. Id recommend lowering the amount if you think you smoke much, but it "works" okay in conjuction with the meds. You gotta stop drinking and taking anything else tho.

Also a good therapist isn't opposed to weed. Mine atleast isn't. ^^

Yeah, he did a little speech about how bad alcohol was but didn't really have anything to say about weed.

I guess he was referring to the vodka bottle a night though.

>tfw you think it's going to be a black guy but it turns out he is south african

I've never know if I'm just so objective I've just obliterated my idea of a self. Always seeking whatever is outside the self, and the self only being whatever people call their particularly version of getting it wrong being a poorer and poorer reflection of the universe.

lol I just think about dicks and killing myself

I just turned 25 2 days ago and for once in my life I thought I had developed bad mental illnesses and went throughdepression, social anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
Been struggling with a bunch but I kinda sat myself down with two buddies of mine, gushed out every single thought in my head and we talked about it.
Shit came out that I've bottled up for so long that even they were like "Dude, what the fuck"
Turns out a lot of stuff was me bottling stuff up and putting on a "I'm fine" facade so I wouldn't burden others.
With that said close family members killing themselves fucked me up a little and I didn't want to accept that I was human I guess.

I was told to do therapy, but I was afraid they'd just put me on medication. I will not med myself and having some good true buds to talk to will help me all I need. 25 is a fucked age. One of my other buddies turned 25 ahead of me and couldn't take it and is on meds now and is still in a bad spot.

Ahahaha, yeah my preferred drink was whiskey. I'm 2 months sober now tho. It's really much better just smokin and not drinkin imo, even when i don't smoke that much anymore.

I live on the border and I have an unusual personality. Do I qualify?

It reeeeally depends on the meds tho. There are still some bad meds out there, but some low-key SSRi's aren't that bad.

ahahaha I just turned 25 last month

25 seems to be the age where everything gets fucked up

In school, I was always afraid of being called on, even when I knew the answers. I didn’t want people to think I was stupid or boring. My heart would pound and I would feel dizzy and sick. When I got a job, I hated to meet with my boss or talk in a meeting. I couldn’t attend my best friend’s wedding reception because I was afraid of having to meet new people. I tried to calm myself by drinking several glasses of wine before an event and then I started drinking every day to try to face what I had to do.

I finally talked to my doctor because I was tired of feeling this way and I was worried that I would lose my job. I now take medicine and meet with a counselor to talk about ways to cope with my fears.

Yeah, I know some stuff is gonna be ok for people, but I ain't someone to meds up. I hate the idea of it.

"didn't want to accept that I was human I guess"
Exactly this. Being their word "human" has been done to death, fucking yawn.....

i know very well someone who has, most of even said so borderlain doesnt have that, some doctors write that when thay dont know what is wrong with you
tell me about yourself, relationships and why thay were over do you love someone and than hate him?

turned 26 a week ago. ya 20's are shit

understandably, i didn't want any for a long time too, but at one point i couldn't take anymore and the meds and my therapist pulled me out of the deepest hole i've benn yet.

>tell manager I will need time off for therapy
>for like confidence and anxiety and stuff?
>no, but glad I give that impression

checked
also fuck bosses

Diagnosed BPD checking in AMA

>having some good true buds to talk to will help me all I need

See, you think that, but here's the reason why that's a shit idea. Your mates are good to talk to, sure. But they're biased, and when compared to a mental health professional, they're advice is patchy at best. It might make you feel better to talk to them in a cathartic, supportive way, but it's no substitute for a professional who doesn't give a shit about you as a friend and is only interested in identifying potential mental health issues that they've studied and treated for years.

This.

It's the age baby. I've talked about it with a lot of my friends. You still feel young, but you got people you went to school with; with kids already. You finally start to think of your own death for once and that you're no longer in that comfort bubble.
I just really needed someone to talk to. A therapist would be cool, but I had other resources, thanks to my wonderful friends. I hope you're doing already how ever you go about it.

I didn't think I'd be able to get to mention most of this in 50 mins

To be real one of my dreams when I was younger was to be a psychologist and feel like I have a good head on my shoulders. I really just needed someone to talk to to really pin point and figure out where stuff stemmed from.
I didn't need them so much as a professional with insight, I just needed an outside point of view I guess.
I don't want to go into any real details of myself, but in my situation, a lot of my mental health issues came from some really traumatic events as of late, coupled with aging and situations.

What do you do if you are 10 years older and drove everyone you've ever known away by exhaustively demanding something more true all the time? And you are smarter than all the therapist, and self awareness is a infinite gradient of pain?

I'm no mental health professional, but I'm pretty sure I met a girl with BPD, and tbh she's probably comorbid (depression, anxiety).

>sexually abused as a child
>alcohol foetal syndrome
>physical abuse as a child
>inappropriately sexual
>flips between extremes of loving you then hating you
>alcoholic
>gets incredibly defensive if she thinks she's being attacked (usually an attack is anything that tries to address her self destructive behaviour)
>projects her own self destructive behaviour on others
>burns bridges regularly, no remorse or reflection - moves onto another social circle elsewhere

I tried to reach out to her recently because I'd cut her out of my life for being so toxic. Eventually I didn't want to continue being angry at her, or being any kind of source of anxiety for her in the world so I called her up. We hung out, but she hadn't changed. In fact she was delighted to inform me that she'd recently spoken to a doctor who advised she stop taking her meds so now she can focus on drinking alcohol without meds. I was like, fuckhead, the reason why you were a mess was because you were drinking while taking meds, not the meds themselves you dolt. Ended up realizing her scars are too deep and she's just gonna keep doing this predictable dance with whoever she's around, probably until she gets old and her looks fade. Oh well.

>want to play nitw
>all dem feels
>too many feels

>something more true all the time? And you are smarter than all the therapist, and self awareness is a infinite gradient of pain?

I went through those thoughts a lot and to be real, it just makes me appreciate the time I have with said self awareness. If that answers your question

Get on the right meds. I've been fucking around for literally 10 years with shitty meds and telling myself I don't need them going on and off again. But now I am 31 and feel like I have complete control of my life. I have my shit together so well it's incredible. Don't be fooled by the "meds are bad" crowd

Oh I'm not really complaining. Wouldn't trade all my gnawing on myself for the world. It's what makes me better than everybody. It's what makes me disgusted with everyone cause they don't even try. I'm not even that smart. Just philosophically perfect and pitbull-like in temperament. It's just left all my base human, cow brained needs on the shelf. Having standards is a real bitch.

Borderline is the result of NPD abuse.

Still;

psych with more info > buddy with patchy info

The psych wins that 9 times out of 10. If you're serious about facing any potential demons and beating the metaphorical shit out of them, the psych is the smarter option. Friends can be good to talk to, don't get me wrong. I've had some great insights from friends, some who have worked in the mental health industry, and it's made me stop and reassess my direction with certain behaviours or directions I'm going towards (i.e. strategies for coping with stressors, anxiety, depression), but it's only ever a jumping off point - it doesn't hold the same level of sturdiness or rigor that can be provided by a mental health professional who you're seeing over a sustained period, sometimes while taking meds as well. That's not to say that there's not shitty mental health professionals out there, but by the numbers - psychs kick the shit out of an insightful buddy.

What is that? Do people take meds for it or anything. Never heard of it

I hear ya man. It's kinda weird being self aware and acknowledging what life really is.
But personality wise, I can't help but devote myself to helping others, even if I acknowledge I am more aware then them. I guess I'll put that in your words.

Not really any advice but feel the need to tell someone.
Last August was seriously considering blowing my fucking brains out told someone and got straight to the Looney bin, they put me on some antidepressant common don't remember what, 3 days later went back in after I left my place without a word and my roommate saw I took my gun. I was on Ativan too but I sold it. Finally got to see my counselor they said the ssri made me manic took me off that put me on a mood stabilizer. Didn't help much ran out of money 5 months later and couldn't see the therapist anymore shit was expensive. Since I didn't go for a year they didn't have me fully figured out. But here's what I remember PTSD deppression, possible mood disorder, possible borderline and some other shit I don't remember.

This. Keep reaching out only to have the scale in your brain tell you everyone is unworthy of help. Basic game play great instincts from go, world of shit people to waste them on.

Yeah. Seeing a doc next week.

One of my personalities has it.

I found it really hard to open up to the therapist, is it a lot worse talking to a doctor? I feel like they aren't trained in the area as much.

Also, I'm only here because at some point I started reading on nihlism and went fuck it nothing matters anyway.

Well technically a psychiatrist is a doctor, so in that case no it wouldn't be. But at the end of the day you kind of direct the level of treatment by how honest you are about your feelings. If you're dishonest they're not gonna receive the whole picture.

Did you turn over your mattress and spray paint nothing else mattress on it?

No, but it honestly didn't really help since I'm already a degenerate, I thought mania was great, I fucked some random chick my ex's best friend and then my ex in under a week.

Yeah. Mania kind of rules. At the time. Then everything kind of unravels when you're at the bottom of the rollercoaster and it's time to get off. I'm like whoopsadaisy!

I called one of the largest psychological associations referral hotlines, gave the lady on the phone that basics, and my age, she seems shocked I hadn't done anything....I took that to as it could be meant in all ways. She said something like 3-5 times a week cognitive session to start....just hearing that somehow unexpectedly scared me, very strange as I usually feel nothing most of the time. She said she would post to their list server my particulars...and someone would contact me....this was 3 months ago....ain't heard shit. Which is understandable. If you know the root of the condition, it's the craziest you can be without a chemical imbalance, so it's neigh on untreatable to anything scientifically measurable, literally walking into the fog of an human mind grown crooked, as a short-term survival mechanism, that produces no long term future. I feel frozen as a person. 10 years old forever. I watch myself get older and if however little I'm in the present, it makes you more and more dissociative. Or are either Everest or Humpty Dumpty to any garden variety psychologist. The drugs are just to take your legs out, so them don't carry you off a cliff.

You can't open up to someone you sense isn't worth opening up to.

I'm not on any drugs anymore, I never feel anything either, I have a girlfriend a son and another kid on the way I don't feel anything towards her except that I feel disgusted with her sometimes or I want to fuck her. My son is ok but I don't feel that "paternal" love or anything he's annoying or he's chill that's about it. I've never held a job for too long I just can't do it for some reason, and my life routinely crumbles down around me, never talk to family I've lost all my friends for one reason or other.

Yeah but it's not like you're having a relationship with that person. You're opening up for yourself, not for them.

I guess my mistake is thinking I really need to open up to a doctor/gp, I just need to give them the facts.

why possums

I do, user.
>always going off on my gf
>she thinks I do it intentionally
>she won't get help wit her personal issues that affect the relationship so I exploded a few times on her
How can I stop devaluing her and getting mad that she is too scared to tell her family what has been secretly done to her?
How do I stop going off and crying and raging and hating/resenting her?

How did the fuck did you ever manage to have a primary relationship, let alone knock someone up then?

Also, any BPDfags ever set out to do something then totally fucking zone out for an hour? Or be on a soapbox rant talking about one thing then getting lost talking about something else that had nothing to do with the original point?

...

Same

Idk, I yell at her all the time and cheat on her a lot she thinks I hate her but I tell her otherwise. I don't cheat as much anymore but I think I'm a sex addict as I still jerk off like 5 times a day, she gave me permission to have a fuck buddy but the bitch got clingy and I told her to fuck off. Generally hate my life.

That is a cute dream that ignores all human nature, but sure, that is what is on paper. And there aren't a large portion of doctor/patient liaisons, cause of how unnatural is it to pour your heard out to someone and keep it completely dry otherwise.....spankbang.com/574j/video/allie haze karla kush

You are absolutely right. You had a narc mother too?

Fire/Ice, Black/White is the core of the "disorder", so....you don't.

Borderline + Bipolar. Visited a lot of psychiatrist in different cities. No any signs of getting better just temporary. Got meds once, overdosed. Dont get meds anymore. It gets worse each day. No way out. You can live with it, but this shit wont fade.

me, OP

Isn't that just a symptom of her own BPD? Was with mine. That and the consending, dehumanizing, not-really-wanting-to-know-you-as-a-person-ness of a mother's love.

BPDs make BPD like vampires.

Borderline and bipolar are mutually exclusive. You can't have both bud

Then what do I have? It has to be something.
>devaluation
>bad interpersonal bonds
>love and hate of my gf
>rage coming out of nowhere
>crying for no reason
>bitter
>repetitive explosive outbursts
>impulsiveness
>recklessness
>narc parent
>deadbeat father who left
>intrusive thoughts

i feel your pain..poor poor bears

Just curious, but what the fuck is wrong with white people? Why are you mother fuckers so prone to mental illness?

Old stinky snatch of a man.

How you came across that info also how was your childhood? Any drugs Alchol or meds? It will help me to help you better

Fuck you, racebaiter. I am black and mexican and I have mental illness. It is highly prevalent in my family. Back to Methfront.

Since I scored dubs, I just want to add something to this. How about you guys man the fuck up, and suck it up, and just live optimistically? Suck it up, butter cups.

You're a little bitch then. Cheer the fuck up. All of you pussies, cheer the fuck up.

How was your childhood? Any meds Alchol drugs? Also any un protective sex or constant mastrubation? It will help me to help you better

Not him but I jacked off so many times every day, in the morning, I lost count. I have addiction now. ._.)

The stain is so large now from all the loads it could fill two bowls

Okay what about any drugs meds or alcohol? And how was your childhood? And let's see what you are using mastrubation to cope with

Yes, blackout drunk most nights. can't sleep wihtout it. problems with family when younger.

True. There is only one way to completely fix this.

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