I’ve been a heroin addict for a few years now. Finally been off for 2 months thanks to methadone maintenance. AMA!

I’ve been a heroin addict for a few years now. Finally been off for 2 months thanks to methadone maintenance. AMA!

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Bump.

what's it like being a methadone addict?

Honestly not great, but the fact that I’m not breaking the law and doing shady shit to get a fix every day, several times a day is such a relief. I just go once a day, get my dose and go on about my life. I can function normally again and pay attention to stuff that matters. It IS shitty being dependent on it though. But I guess the positive kind of outweighs the negative for me. I don’t regret it. Good question!

Any more?

if it was up to me, morphine users would get a maintenance dose through an implant. the problem, i feel, is the things they're driven to do when they run out.

mind you, i've read a lot of Burroughs, and while i've never done opiates myself, i have an understanding of the problem.

how do you help out your community?

Thats awesome i hope you can kick your addiction completely im happy that you got your life together fam you should have the greatest amount of pride in yourself

what do you think of the so-called "seattle chic" thing where they try to make heroin use look glamorous?

> emaciated
> hair falling out
> rotting teeth
> faces and arms covered in scabs
> shitting their pants

yeah. that's fashion-show tier runway material right there.

Well a lot of countries actually have “heroin maintenance” facilities. They can go and shoot up twice a day, legally, under medical supervision. The result of this is less drug related crimes ands overdoses. Give people what they want, and the problems will go away. Methadone is as good as I can get in the US unfortunately, but it works for me so I cannot complain.

I volunteer twice a week at the local soup kitchen and I also do volunteer work at the humane society. I like to chill with the cats. I just work in a restaurant. I make okay money as a server.

You seem upbeat about this. What made you decide to kick the horse?

Thoughts on kratom?

It absolutely irritates the shit out of me. “Heroin chic” isn’t really anything new, but there are plenty of people trying to cash in on the druggie thing. Musicians writing songs about how glorious heroin use is, etc. it’s cringey to me, and I hate it. But what the hell, can’t do anything about it. I’m so sick of hearing people say “dude... this song is about heroin... it’s deep.” When they don’t know that the person sitting right across from them is an actual heroin addict.

Thanks senpai! Me too

dude that's awesome. sorry I'm clogging up your thread with responses. i pick up litter and do prep work for a pizza kitchen. I want to do some more structured volunteering but I haven't put too much effort into it.

I have always had a guilt complex and been very close to my mom. Over the last year, my grandmother (on her side) was dying and she would call me crying, and tell me how much she loved me. I finally felt so bad about what I was doing, and I wanted to be there for her. And I wanted her to know the truth and that I was trying to get better. so I made my appointment at the clinic. I also was sick of being drained financially and sticking needles in my arm. I’ve fallen out more than once and could have died. I just finally said enough is enough.

I think kratom is AWESOME! during some intervals where I wasn’t using opiates I used kratom happily and would recommend it to ANYONE! unfortunately it has a cross tolerance with opiates and since I’m on a high dose of methadone it wouldn’t do much for me. But kratom is great. It’s harmless, and a fantastic herb. I like it better than weed!!

Why do you feel the need to post your degenerate habit to strangers on the Internet? Does it make you feel better about your pathetic piece of shit of an addiction?

No worries man! I wanted responses. Sometimes I just need to talk about it.

Nothing to ask, just congratulating you user, keep it up man.

Hopefully the future holds more for you *thumbs up

OP here. Yes. Everything you said is correct.

much respect. I found out my grammy had cancer while I was out of town. She keeps thinking I'm addicted to weed so I try not to smoke when I go over her house. It sucks trying to save face when she knows I'm high.

Thanks bro.

Hey user. you want to talk about it?

I’m sorry to hear that man, and that’s very respectful of you to not smoke in front of her! But between you and me, if weed helps you, do your thing man. Smoke up. Better than drinking or getting into harsh drugs. I think weed is a great tool for so many things. I wish it didn’t make me paranoid:-/

>AMA!

faggot

I feel that. my friends are all drinkers. did you start on pills or what? I took an oxy once and it was the fucking worst. I'm glad because I'm forever convinced opiods would have the opposite effect on me and I just worry about my whole body turning into pain. Is that what withdrawals are like?

That’s not a question. Silly.

is it worth trying?

do you live in new jersey?

Good job dude. Keep up the good work improving your life. Though its not as nasty of an addiction, I hear that smoking is just as difficult to quit as heroine. I was a smoker for nearly 10 years and one day about 6 months ago I said fuck it, I'm not buying another pack. Honestly it wasnt too difficult. I feel that still smoking weed really helped me be successful. I save $100 a month, I dont smell like shit and I'll live longer with less health issues. Cigarettes are pointless. atleast heroine feels fucking amazing so I've heard.

once every year or two I run across some vicodin and boy do I like that but I know my limits. never seek a "connect". Fortunately I have no problem avoiding addiction. However I am a bit unsure of the future. I have had bad back problems the past year. I am in constant pain/discomfort but I can tolerate it with ibuprofen. a couple times now the pain has been very very severe for periods of weeks. Like crippling pain where I cant help but scream in pain every time I sit or stand. The kind of pain where it hurts so bad I've puked. I DO NOT want a prescription for pain killers but I fear that day may be coming.

how does it feel to be a piece of shit?

Anyone north jersey oxy connect ?

If you are really desperate, get yourself some poppy seeds and make poppy seed tea aka morphine soup. potency varies greatly by brand so do your research, start low and work up. Some brands, one pound of seeds will hardly give you a buzz where others will get you nice n fucked off of only an ounce of seeds. I used to buy sincerely nuts brand off of amazon, $30 for 5lbs shipped. seems that source doubled in price and quality went to the shitter. Ended up only costing 50 cents a dose and that was as potent as ~30mg hydrocodone.

havent fucked around with that shit in a while but damn it's sooooo cheap.

That’s funny you say that. Apparently a majority of people that try opiates don’t like them, but the percentage that so fall in love with them lol. And yeah, I started with OxyContin. Some girl in the restaurant I was working at was able to get them, and I was interested cuz I remembered how good my lortabs felt from a broken hand injury a year before. Started snorting them every day, got introduced to IV dilaudid and heroin through her dealers. Then the rest is history.

Have you washed out your butty with a piece of soap??

Your black white suburban ass better pay the piper eventually, if by pay the piper i mean find some way to get your opiate sensitivity back to that of a normal person so you're not using opioids as a crutch ... it's the only way you'll be free.

Better every day!
Look at
This really works. But check eBay out for the unwashed seeds. Store bought seeds aren’t worth dick. You can find cheap, alkaline chalked seeds on eBay like nothing. Tea is easy to make and yes, it gets you jammed.

yup yup yup. And doctors keep perscribing em. Well schucks. I'm going for a walk but good luck getting right with your mom and staying on the straight and narrow

That’s the plan, kiddo. Gonna start weening off eventually. MMT takes a LONG time and it’s something I’ve accepted, and it’s literally the only thing that has kept me off dope.

Thanks man! My mom is GREAT. We are very close and she understands. She is truly a saint. I really just need to get right with myself and give my mom back what she’s given to me. Thanks man.

If anyone else wants to talk, Addicts needing advice, shitposters wanting to shitpost or just curious people ask now, I’ll give it 10 mins and then I’m gonna go watch a movie.

What does heroin make you feel like? My father abandoned me for it, it better be fucking good

Test

looks like there has been a recent crackdown on seeds and the few quality seeds left have soared in price. amazon seeds are now all bunk and the good ones left are going for ten times the cost on ebay. $300 for a 5lb bag!

I'm glad im not addicted to that shit and it's been probably a year since I last ordered seeds. a quick search online and it looks like there are a lot of addicts left (not)high and dry recently. I didnt do the seeds for many months but got back to them a couple months back. I had like a pound left, got fucked up a good ten times. Went to go look for more and they are gone. good thing I was never dependant on them. I've been interested in kratom for a while now and I think I'll be placing an order here soon.

Ever suck dick/perform sexual favors for a fix?

feels better than loving your own children.

Ibogaine.

Imagine slipping your brain into a warm hot tub. You physically feel so heavy, and warm, and it shoots through your arm to your shoulders and neck and you get tight then feel real loose and like you’re being pulled through the ground. And literally nothing matters. Or rather, everything is good. Anything fucked up in your life seems to be put into a rational perspective and you’re able to smile and just enjoy the moment. Everything is perfect. After this surge, you’ll continue feeling peaceful optimistic, and a you’ll get sleepy and start going into falling asleep and waking up. Or “nodding out.” It’s a beautiful feeling. And when it wears off, you’re left empty.

Is it like being drunk then?

No man... I mean. I guess being drunk does something similar but on heroin, you’re clear headed. It doesn’t make you act goofy, or black out and do weird shit. And it’s far, far more pleasurable. It’s not really comparable to an orgasm because the feeling isn’t sexual at all, BUT shooting dope is MUCH more pleasant than an orgasm is. It’s an incredible feeling. And the feeling of wellbeing is much more organic than that which alcohol provides. It’s SO hard to explain. It’s the magic of opiates. They’re insidious in the way they work on the reward center of our brain. It’s the epitome of pleasure. Alcohol could never make you feel as good as heroin.

Hey OP, cool you got clean mate. I'm going to ride this ride for a bit

cool story bro

Thanks. Are you the person I was responding to? If not, I hope you go try dope for yourself. You’re probably too much of a pussy to be able to even find it and not get ripped off.

Thanks for taking the time to explain user. I appreciate it. I've always wanted to understand the high my dad left me for

Hey man I hope I at least helped you feel better. There’s no excuse for a father leaving his son, but heroin is a HELL of a demon. And it can do things like that. It will rip families apart. No excuse for what your father did, but he’s living his whole life as a slave to this drug and his own demons. Don’t ever blame yourself user, and don’t hate addicts. It’s a serious fucking problem, and at the very least, you can rest assured that his suffering has been much greater than yours. And he deserves it. You should’ve had a dad that was there for you user. I’m sorry. Just be better than he is.

fuck you nigger

Oh god man thank you so much. Seriously god bless you user, you're an amazing person. Thank you and good luck.

my brother was prescribed opioids for his chronic pain. all after he had been sober for 3 years

You too my Sup Forumsro. Everything will turn out just fine.

>clogging

Yo wanna do some heroin?

AA fucking works . Dope a different fucking animal

It does but they frown on methadone patients. But MMT is the ONLY thing that’s kept me off dope.

Look up naloxone kits. You'll thank me later

slip up and say im an addict and see the glares you'll get

underrated post.

OP would you recommend heroin to somebody fed up with life?

just go to paterson or newark faggot. Or one of the hundereds of sketchy drs that give it out like candy up here

I love Sup Forums sometimes

Someone screencao this exchange pls

i'm addicted to alcohol, does heroin feel better? I need soemthign else alcohol doenst do it for me naymore

ye if your life has gone to hell heroin seems like a real good and logical place to go

Heroin feels way better than alcohol. It’ll also kill you much quicker and destroy your life. Yeah, it feels really good. Is it worth it? No!!

A hollow point bullet is even more logical. Fuck off with being a burden on society, and off yourself.

that's illegal.

How did it start? Did the older kids pressure you into smoking weed? Did you steal your sisters piggy bank for a weed fix?

youtu.be/5hz1UaEVyoo

Should have ODed, real life isn’t worth the struggle in this age

Well, kinda. I started smoking weed because my friend pressured me into it. Didn’t get into opiates until much, much later though.

OP here. Sometimes I think you’re right. Still, something keeps me going.

I sort of doubt those two things are particularly connected. Its like saying "well I got into riding bikes when I was a kid, so now I jump out of planes ".

Forgive my ignorance, but is helping the community part of going to a methadone clinic? I'm not familiar with methadone treatment in general so this is a novel concept to me.

I said that I helped my community by working and by volunteering... my MMT has nothing to do with it. Where did you get that impression?
Or, if you’re asking whether or not it’s necessary to help your community while going to a methadone clinic, no. It’s not at all. You go, pay 17 dollars a day and get your dose. That’s all they require. I choose to do those things because I want to be a better person. I feel like I owe something back to a society that I’ve ripped off so much.

Sorry maybe I missed something, but it seemed like asked rather randomly how you help your community and I didn't see you mention anything about it in your original post. I think it's awesome that you do, but the initial exchange between you and the other poster made it seem like it was part of the "treatment" since he did volunteer work as well. Thank you for the insight though, I had never talked to someone who has to get methadone.

No worries man. Yeah, I am a junkie and I wanted to get better but just not doing heroin isn’t enough. I wanted to help others that are in a rough spot. It’s really rewarding feeding the homeless and it’s a lot of fun playing with the cats at the humane society. Honestly, it’s really good for me because it takes up my spare time and keeps me away from foul shit. The clinic doesn’t demand anything from me, I just do these things for fun and to help spiritually.

haha I'm back my dude. I ask that in every AMA thread

was on heroin for ~4 years, then methadone ~2-3, then heroin another year, and now been clean since June 2016. how you doing OP?

I’m doing okay man. I relapsed a couple times before I got to a good blocking dose but I haven’t touched it since. I’m also working with psychiatrists and doing whatever I can to figure out my life. You still doing alright? Still clean?

I go to AA, but I'm a junkie. It fucking works, changed my life for sure

Yea brother, fucking great. Got my associates, then into a four university, a car I love, a girl that loves me, and shit has never been better,

My advice, if you want it, after being at clinic for roughly 3 years is get into some other kind of recovery. I think methadone is fine if used the right way, but you gotta do it the right way. Treat it with respect, don't fuck around and double dose, potentiate or use benzos. I made that mistake. I fucked around the whole and decided I wanted to get off that shit and be free, but I relapsed shortly after getting over the 6 weeks of sickness (3-4 months later). Be careful user, methadone didn't fix what was wrong with me, it just kept the sickness away.

Proud of you man, it takes balls to change your life and a shit ton of courage to continue on that path

My name’s Jacqueline McCafferty. I lost three
year of my life on heroin, and another five
year on a methadone programme that was meant to
get us off it.

Hey thanks man. I do have to use a low dose of lorazepam for anxiety and insomnia but I don’t abuse my script. And I plan on weening off and not being on it forever. I treat it very respectful. So much so that the nurses ARGUED with me when I didn’t want to go up past 70mg for awhile. I said I was comfortable and they told me I had to see the doctor. Which I did.

so since this is an ama i need to ask for help here....

i live in a basement suite of my parents house with my husband (we're still young and trying to save money while we can) and my mother has these 3 foster children all under the age of 3. Well all this women does ALL DAY EVERY DAY is scream at these children at the top of her lungs like a demon for the smallest reasons, hits them and locks them in rooms when she cant handle it and i so badly want to report her and have them all removed but i am in fear my husband and i will be kicked out since i am the only one with this knowledge of her abuse towards them and she would know it was me. I dont know what to do

fucking good on you bro, they let me go up to 115 mg which was entirely unnecessary. The methadone clinic is a giant ass venus fly trap for us, so watch out. I watch hundreds, if not thousands, of people go in during my 3 years. I'm not exaggerating when I say I was the only person who voluntarily left, I was well known at that place for having the reputation of being a voluntary detox (took a year to detox off 115 mg).

Just be careful user, I hate watching people burn up their lives at clinic when they could be free. So what are your plans now?

There's a good chance she would know, she couldn't force you out but could possibly evict you after 30 days. Did you sign a lease? What state? I'm a paralegal in NC, but our laws are weird

Did she do this to you when you were that age or do you remember any sort of the similar experiencing that these kids are suffering?

Regardless, that shit isn't right, hitting a 3 year old.

I’m gonna ask about going down soon. Weening off. Might see a sub doctor to get me off and give me a quick detox.

You're a disgusting junky even if you're clean. So my question is, why not just kys? You would do the world a favor.

cool, sounds like a good plan to me. methadone clouded my head badly, and I didn't even realize it until I got off it and tried to reflect on that. Those 3 years are very foggy, if pressed I can only give very general details.

Read up on the rat park experiments, even if you aren't interested in a recovery community make some friends, get some cool hobbies

stuartmcmillen.com/comic/rat-park/

working any?

Sounds like you live in Kensington or Port Richmond

Keep it up. I'm down to 2 mgs. daily.