Greentext thread, it's been far too long since the last good one

Greentext thread, it's been far too long since the last good one

>Be me
>Be horny
>Discover an app called Whisper
>It's designed to let you anonymously rant about school, family, etc.
>In reality it's just used by prostitutes to advertise themselves
>Search around and find pic related
>Contact her and invite her to meet me by a creek in my neighborhood
>She accepts
>Couple hours pass and I go down to Creek nervous as fuck (social anxiety)
>She starts walking down path towards me
>Looks nothing like pic related, a lot darker and slimmer
>"Hi..I think I'm supposed to meet you here?"
>Autism goes ballistic
>At a loss of words so I spirt out "prostitution is illegal"
>Begin to dial 911
>She sprints for her car and takes off
>I go home and fap out a sad nut to her pic
>Go to bed

Stay tuned, this is only the beginning of a long story that's yet to unfold.

Jesus christ user how could you fuck up so badly

Just gonna drop this here

Bump

Part 2: a budding relationship

>A few weeks later and have totally forgotten my autistic episode
>Get on Whisper to just look, not horny
>See another post by her
>Decide to fuck with her a bit
>Message her as an entirely different guy
>Ask her to come over, she agrees
>Suspectsnothing.png
>This time I give her the address of a friend who I'm house sitting for
>Dig out an old police uniform I have
>Over the past few weeks I've grown out my facial hair and gotten a cut on top so I practically look like a new man
>Put on police uniform and wait
>By the time she comes over it's around 10pm so it's pitch black outside
>She walks up to door, rings bell
>I answer in my full police attire
>She looks shocked and scared
>I grab her by the arm and lead her into the living room, sit her down
>I sit down across from her and give her a lecture on why prostitution is bad
>She's silent
>I make her promise to never do prostitute things again
>She promises
>I spank her on the way out and slam the door
>Jerk off the erection I've been keeping under wraps to the thought of her

>The autism is strong with OP

Where the fuck do you live that whisper is used for prostitutes

Part 3:

>A couple weeks go by and I see no posts from her
>Believe I've made a change in her life
>Until
>She posts again
>Get angry, I had been jerking myself off as a type of moral police
>I can't let this one slip
>Contact her
>Notice her tone is a lot rougher and more business-like
>Demands 3 live pics to verify identity
>A friend of mine very graciously provides
>She no longer comes to peoples houses, they must come to her hotel room
>I won't let this be a setback
>I find out what hotel she's gonna get a room at
>Its a really shitty $30/night motel
>Come up with a plan so moronic it can rival that of Operation Barabarosa
>We set a date and she books a room
>Me and my friend (the one who sent the pics) go to the motel the day of
>I know the girls full name due to Facebook stalking and occasional sad fapping
>My plan is to walk up to front desk, say "I'm Anonettes husband, can I have a key to her room"
>It actually
>Fucking
>Works
>Go to car and get a spray paint can and text her "I'm in the lobby"
>Send my friend in to distract her and buy time
>While friend is distracting her I sneak up to her room
>Spray paint "prostitution is wrong" across the motel wall
>Also find a pair of her panties in her bag, turbo fap and cum on them
>Sneak out and text friend
>He uses the "forgot my wallet in the car" excuse and gets in the car with me
>We ditch
>10 minutes later she texts me "WHAT THE FUCK"
will continue

...

Bumping

hillarious autism, more!

Bump

OP, why didn't you green txt this out before you posted it. Hurry up.

>Literal months go by, see no new posts
>I've done it, I'm Jesus
>Anyways a friend introduces me to Backpage
>Look around and guess who I find
>She's switched from Whisper to Backpage
>Unfortunately enough for her, no one is outside of my grasp
>Her phone number is listed and she has a strict "no text, only call" policy
>Lucky for me im very good at impressions and do a whimpy white guy voice, the exact kinda guy who would buy a Latino whore
>Say I run a small church and it's always been my fantasy to fuck a girl on the alter
>She says she's "with it"
>She asks when and I say I schedule for a week from the day
>I needed time to plan
>I find a small church of radical Christians
>Think Westborough x5
>Not hard to find because everyone here is fucking mental
>Go and talk to pastor who is visibly mentally unhinged
>Tell him I think my wife is selling her flesh to other men and she needs to rediscover Christ
>Fucking meth head buys it
>We set up an absolutely diabolical plan to get this lady out of the business once and for all
>Get the whole congregation in on it too
>The night comes and I give her the address of the church
>Have the pastor receive her and lead her into the main hall
>She stands in front of the alter and says "well? I'm not doing this for free"
>Pastor hands her an envelope that I gave him
>In it is $200 Monopoly dollars
>"You've got to be fucking joking"
>"FLIP IT OVER" I call out from the very back of the hall, wisely staying out of the path of the coming shit storm
>She looks confused and in her confusion she flips it over
>On the back is written these words
>"Prostitution is wrong"
>She looks up in a panic just as the whole congregation comes out of the shadows
>Sounds intense but the congregation was only about 15-20 meth head extremists
>They start screeching "REPENT REPENT REPENT"
>this wasn't even scripted
>They flood around her and put their hands on her as she struggles to breakthrough the crowd
Will continue

>This screeching goes on for about 5 minutes
>Eventually she breaks through the crowd and but trips as she nears the end of the hall
>Me, still in half shock half laughter walk up to her and squat down
>She looks up at me
>I look her in the eyes and say "prostitution is wrong. please stop doing it"
>She gets up and runs out as fast as possible
>Doesn't even get in her car, just runs down the road
>Success?
>That was on a Monday night
>Scan Backpage and whisper all week, see nothing
>Go to church Sunday morning
>Not meth head church, a pretty normal church
>Always get there early to get a good seat
>A few minutes before mass starts I see her walk in, conservatively dressed and quiet
>I'm in shock
>She sits down and sits through whole mass
>After church she talks to the pastor as I sneak through crowd as to not be noticed
>Next week at church pastor has an announcement
>We have a new member of our church, and she's come a long way in her walk with Christ
>Fast forward to now, 3 months later
>She still comes to church and is now dating the pastor's son
>She's made a complete 180
>Im proud of what I've done
>Still fap to her pics tho
Fin

Bump

Op, your are an idiot. Get a life and leave other ppl with your distorted moral alone

...

>How dare you turn around a prostitutes life

moralfagging is wrong

Prostitution is illegal? Where do you live, Pakistan? If it's illegal, who or what are the poor, lonely people fucking?