Sup Sup Forumsros, everyone in my workplace is getting an antidoping and i'm fuuuucked

Sup Sup Forumsros, everyone in my workplace is getting an antidoping and i'm fuuuucked.

Do you know anyway to trick the test?

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Eat it
There won't be a test to test with

I guess you're an Ameritard

>Muh land of teh free

>Ma land of not employing useless drug addictd

What are they testing for? There are things you can buy which hyper-charge your metabolism and you basically sweat it out.

Unless it is constantly random with no change then you can game it.

Ask someone with clean pee to provide you with a sample. Store in a small container with a watertight seal (be it a bottle or bag/bladder) that you can smuggle duct-taped to your inner thighs, armpit, or anywhere concealable that isn't stashed in your outermost layer of clothing.

Unless it's the military/government and they *WATCH* you urinate into the cup, this *WILL* work provided you're not a complete fuck up.

If they were useless you could just fire them. Who cares how many drugs they do if they do their damn job?

if you have an animal, just rub it against their piss box/tree.

you can go to a mens care shop and get some pills to clean out your system, then drink a gallon of water while taking them, and you should be clean enough in 24 hours that it wont show.

Absolutely

You could also check into rehab. They maybe can't fire you if you are getting help. State laws vary.

Or use a fake cock:
thewhizzinator.com/

Because if you get hurt on the job they're liable, and if you're high on the job you have a higher risk to get hurt. Also they don't want to employ active criminals.

This.

You can't be fired for a medical condition... drug and alcohol "addiction" is a medical condition.

Ok, I passed a drug test at Stanford university drug laboratory, i smoked weed 2 days before. here is what i did.

I DRANK A FUCK TON OF WATER. SERIOUSLY SO MUCH WATER, EVERY POSSIBLE MOMENT I WAS DRINKING. YOU NEED TO CIRCULATE OUT ALL WATER IN YOUR BODY WITH FRESH STUFF.

I WAS POPPING CRANBERRY PILLS ALL DAY LONG. CRANBERRY PILLS CAN BE FOUND AT ANY DRUG STORE, THEY ARE FOR URINARY HEALTH FLUSH YOUR SYSTEM.

THE DAY OF THE DRUG TEST, BEFORE THE TEST I DRANK A WHOLE PACKET OF UNFLAVORED GELATIN MIXED WITH WATER. IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST DISGUSTING THINGS I HAVE EVER ATE, BUT IT IS CRUCIAL. FILTERS YOUR URINE SYSTEM.

So yeah, took the test, passed, smoke weed everyday dont give a fuck

AND YOU NEED REAL GELATIN, UNFLAVORED, NOT THE GOOFY JELL-O STUFF.

They sell fake piss at headshops. It has instructions. Just make sure it's the right temp and you're good to go.

Yet the majority of Americans are addicted to something. something's not adding up here, you need to tell reality about this!

If you're high on the job you're probably already useless. If you work like a regular fucking guy and then go home and do whatever drug you want I don't think that it matters.
The same can be said about alcohol aswell, if you're drunk on the job and someone gets hurt it's your fucking fault. Given that it was your fault. But if a guy goes home and drinks 3-6 beers noone gives a fuck. Why should we treat some drugs like this when we don't treat all drugs like this?

>smokes weed everyday
>claims no fucks given.
>frantically does every possible to avoid being detected.

Being this much of a fucking nigger

If you do want to use surrogate pee, before the test keep the container close to your body like in your armpit or groin so the body heat makes it warm and also shake it before you hand it in so it gets nice and foamy.

The detox drinks can beat dipstick tests if the drinks instructions are met completely.

If they get hurt, then you slap 'em with a drug test.

i mean that was 7 years ago when i was living at home with my parents, they paid for the test. they were the ones giving a fuck not me, i was smoked right after the test.

NIGGA

Use someone else's clean urine. I used my gf so as long as she is not on the rag, and blood wont drip youþ are good. Get a 2oz bottle, rubber bands and a hand warmers. Piss in the bottle, heat it for 10 seconds, wrap the heat pads around the bottle, show up to the test site, check the temp make sure its above 95, buy below 100, if so you are good. Take hand warmers off, place bottle under balls sack, or up vag. Practice to get the feel of the bottle, and be able to walk normal. As long as the test is behind closed doors, you just pour it in the test cup, and boom passed urine test. Passed many tests dirty.

Most drugs leave your system pretty fast. Any casual drug user would have it out of this system already.

My step-mother used a detox kit to beat the the city of orlando's piss test. She said it felt like she was having a heart attack for like 12 hours but it worked.

And you're surprised that a stoner got paranoid?

Forgot to point this out as being part of "keeping it taped to your inner thigh or armpit", or wherever else.

Yes, it needs to be warm and a little foamy in order to be passable. Keeping the container against bare skin and shaking it a little is the key to this.

>I used my gf
Assuming you're a lesbian, then. Many urine tests will detect gender, so I wouldnt' recommend a guy using female urine.

>And you're surprised that a stoner got paranoid?
I think a lot of the paranoia that stereotypes associate with marijuana users is due to things like random drug tests at work. If on any random day you might lose your job, just because you occasionally smoke dried plant matter, wouldn't you be a little paranoid? If at any time, the police could knock on your door, because some nosy neighbor smelled weed, wouldn't you experience a little anxiety?