Be me

>be me
>living in apartment on university campus with 3 assigned roommates
>all 3 are at least normie, but one of them is especially a stereotypical college chad
>lets call him Evan
>backward snapbacks, vapes, Zippos, brands, etc
>for the first month of the semester I'd spend most of my time studying
>he would say stuff like "nice books you fucking nerd" and knock my stuff off the table
> I dealt with worse in high school so this is fine
> sometimes hard to believe how much of a caricature of a chad he can be
> Midterms would be my redemption
>Look forward to the day that we all come even
> I get high 80s and 90s on mine, he gets 40s to 60s.
> We're in a lot of the same subjects so evan really judges me hard
>"user did you fucking cheat or something? I don't see how someone like you could get that mark while I fail"
>well maybe you should fucking study at all
>he convinces me to tutor him, I feel pity and agree
>it turns out that he's never heard of Pythagoras, or any of the trig functions. He doesn't even know a lot of words like quotient, product, or sum (and we're in university).
> sometimes he loses his cool and starts throwing shit
>"fuck you user you're just fucking me over. I don't want you to show me these numbers and equations I want the tricks to how you got your fucking 95 on the midterm."
>I studied (?)
>I tell him to study, but he never does
>when he sees me reading he still talks major shit (although less so know because I think he knows he owes me)
>today he had to do a lab writeup for chemistry
>asked for help
>I eagerly agreed
>"alright user, what color was the solution at the beginning?"
>??????!?!? "what solution do you mean chad? what did you write down?"
>"I wrote down black, red, yellow, and colorless"
>"so did it just change color?"
>"yeah it changed color after I added the milliliters"
>"-you added milliliters of what? what did you write down chad"
>"I added 10 milliliters"
>he doesn't know they're just a unit.
>cont'

Continue if it has a good pay off.

>at university
> doing multiple subjects

???

Jesus fuck, makes me glad I shied away from college and went to trade school.

btw AMA about living with a chad

>for his online homework and some of the write-ups, he asks for help but it never really comes through to him
>I have to literally do the homework for him, enter the values into the website, and then he tells me he understands it and to fuck off
>I spent an hour trying to explain sin, cos, and tan before just doing all his homework
>sometimes he comes into my room after midnight while I'm sleeping to ask me a question for his assignments
>**flicks lights** "user you said you'd help me with this right?"
>"wha what are whats going on **waking up**"
>"what is the adjacent side of a triangle. is it the longest side?"
>"chad its the closest one to theta, like a shorter one. why couldn't you google this?"
> "I thought you didn't use google for this sort of thing. stop being weird user"
>**chad leaves without apologizing**

courses you dumb shit. ppl take 5 on average per semester. Its different from a major, which is like the overall theme of your courses.

Tell us about the first time Chad took you in the butt.

Have you never been to school before?

>our apartment gets progressively messier since we never really made a system (we all met each other in September)
>decide on system where the least tidy person that week has to make dinner on sunday night
>chad gets almost all the "strikes"
>not only does he not clean up but he also tries to start a business fixing vapes, so we always have screws and cotton and coils and pieces of shit scattered on everything, and sometimes the glass bottles break and go everywhere
>"chad, we think you should clean up your stuff, for christsakes, theres broken glass and nicotine juice fucking everywhere"
>"no guys that's not mine I was fixing that for chad V2"
>fuckingpointless.jpeg
>after a week chad has to make us dinner
>his grocery runs are just going to get prepackaged dinners like lasagna or veg platters or cookie platters so we think it'll be fine
>calls a meeting right before dinner
>"hey guys I just thought I'd let you know that I'm leaving the game from now on, I know it seems shitty with all my strikes, but you guys will have to work it out amongst yourselves"
>"but chad how will you be accountable for cleaning up your stuff after this?"
>"yeah just go about your life like I'm not here you guys can work everything out amongst yourselves. the three of you guys can keep the system so its fair"
>basically he doesn't have to do dishes, vacuum, clean washrooms, etc.
>all of us are to beta to speak up


what can I do for payback? I know hes really uptight about his looks and wont go to class if he doesn't have a hat (sometimes he loses it in the sty of a room)

im not american you spick, though that would be pretty obvious. Do the subjects need to be similar?

Group up with the other guys, three of you can't stand up to one chad? Fucking hell that is major beta.

no i work making iphones in a factory in Indonesia. im writing this off one of the phones i've stolen.

Use a betas greatest weapon: Passive aggresiveness.
Pick a corner and just dump Chads shit in it without caring if it breaks

one of the other roommates (a big guy, plays rugby) got mad after chad got shit everywhere and blamed him, so he did a movie-style stunt where he held chad by the head and neck and smashed him against the counter, and then dragged his face across it to knock everything off.
Not going to happen again tho bc we have to live together for a year.

Don't destroy his shit, but do make his life harder. "Chad I won't help you if you don't opt into cleaning around the house"

hide his hats under his things preferably. Just be passive aggressive but do not break or permanently mess with his things.

sometimes we throw out the vape parts, but he has so much money it doesn't even matter to him.
he resells clothing brands like bape or supreme so he makes enough money not to care.

i don't believe someone so retarded could get into uni but w/e guess that could help. Just throw his shit in the bin and dont be a pussy about it. "oh this dirty coil is left on the side" "whoops man i didn't know u needed that it was really dirty" just do little things to fuck with him constantly

I got an idea. Out the window is a rooftop section covered in gravel where he throws his garbage when hes too lazy. I can just put the hats there

Good idea, then pretend he just threw out his own hat. You gotta play dumb tho and either make sure the other guys are in on it or don't know at all.

hes from some shitty interior part of the US. maybe explains why he doesn't understand cm, m, ml, or L. (he asked me to help him convert cm to m once when he woke me up at 12)

Cum in his hats.

I'm not sayin' purposefully break stuff, it'll just make life inconvenient for him if he has to dig through the chad pile to find stuff. Broken crap is just a lil bonus

You do his assignments for him?
>Fuck with the entries you enter into the website.
>Send anonymous e-mails to your tutor describing your situation and the above incidents.

Also:
>Cum in his hats live above user said.

Actually yeah, cum in the hats. Or pee on them. That means you own them.

Stop doing these peoples homework so they actually go nowhere in life. Ffs.

Don't touch anything that's his. Buy locks and room fridges. Let the place turn to shit and say, "What, we're adults. We pick up after ourselves."

Stop holding the childs hand. You aren't his mommy.

Any purpose for the squirrel being the picture? We have squirrels like that cheeky fuck on my campus fucking everywhere