Hey Sup Forums I need help regarding UK self defence laws

Hey Sup Forums I need help regarding UK self defence laws.
It's past 1 in the morning in England and some chav kid (looked about 14-15) woke me up kicking my front door. I went to see what it was about and he shouted something like "you don't disrespect my bird" and then swung for me so I knocked him out. His mates then carried him off and said they were calling the police. Haven't heard from them yet but I'm wondering if I'll get in trouble for this.
Any help is appreciated.

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Nice fake story.

Na dont worry, if its anything like my area, they'll call the police...it'll take the police three days to come out and end up doing nothing.

You got any sorta video or eyewitness evidence? Not much for the court/Police to go off of if you don't

you're fine user

Not helpful. I just need to know if I can get arrested for this.

He was actually yelling "Traps are not gay"

Nothing will come of that mate little gobby bastards need a slap they'll just go home with the tail between their legs they needed the life lesson

No I don't have evidence. I live on my own and don't have CCTV or anything like that.

Straight up refuse it happened.

If the police come to ask you. You heard the door getting kicked and was too scared to do anything.

Then nowt'll probably happen. Usually police don't look too far into cases like this if there's no evidence either way.

i would be more concerned about the fact he knows where you live bricks and stones can be thrown and you cant do anything about it

he swung at you, at your house, in the middle of the night, you used reasonable force and thats all, bit of a bitch going to the police, I very much doubt they will

you're talking about the uk, where people have been prosecuted for beating the shit out of burglars

In the UK you have to offer your asshole to him for rape and then give him money or you'll be arrested and tried for violating his rights as a criminal. Luckily he wasn't a nigger or muslim so there won't be hate crimes added on.

phone police immediately to report your version of events.

Single punch - not the same as shooting someone in the back. Single punch is reasonable force when it comes to self defence, unless you're boxer.

That's why I'm worried. Self defence laws here are fucked up

nope, you put someone on their arse, single punch or not, it's GBH

By fucked up you mean pretty fucking sensible?

u r gonna get smaked rite in da gabba

No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, because there already give you beatings because I've actually already met them already anyway

no, they're literally pants on head retarded


fortunately people like the cunt op put down don't normally report this shit let alone press charges

Does it have to be a single punch? I punched him twice so is that too much?

If you are a refugee u just tell them that it’s all the white kids falut and then bam the police can’t do shit

i want to smell all chav foreskin. describe them for me

>be brit
>get hit by punk minor at midnight 1am on own doorstep
>fear retribution
your ancestors are sobbing right now

wow

I know

This country the USA and pretty much all of Europe is a fucking joke I wish people would wake up and stop being more concerned about being called racist than genuinely letting refugees flood every fucking corner of the world

You knocked out a cunt that was being a prick.
I see no problem.
Sure, all his mates will stick up for him... but in reality everyone knows chavs are a gang mentality kinda thing and no policeman would ever believe he got knocked out for no reason.

It wasn't refugees who were the perps in OP's story.
You have no idea what's its like in the UK of you think refugees are a problem any more than our own citizens are.

That's not how law enforcement works

Our people we’re civilized just look at history everyone used to wear suits but now it’s all Nike and shit niggers and pakis caused this shit also our dumbass people aren’t going around and blowing people up it’s mainly the sand niggers that are doing that

He has to explain what he was doing on your property before anyone pays any attention to his story. If he doesn'thave a good reason, it'll come to nothing. Regardless, self-defence laws in the UK permit reasonable force when threatened in your own home, which you were, especially since there were multiple assailants. A single punch is more than reasonable.

Ask your neighbours if they witnessed him kicking your door or saw him swing at you.

Also, people might call you a faggot for it, but if you're really worried then call the police yourself. You have nothing to hide and they'll understand that. Bad guys don't make reports because they were retarded enough to do something stupid in the first place and will always be caught.

If he was wearing any form of tracksuit/tn shoes/any general chav formal wear then I'm Pretty sure the police will side with you at least a little, had a brick shithouse of a 45 year old man threatening me at My doorstep with a wooden paddle and after calling the police twice that night they decided they'd send someone over in the morning, took my statement and asked me if I feel safe, told em to leave it as I couldn't be assed and they just called me one last time to see if I was gucci, they don't do anything op

youtube.com/watch?v=AglYrEjOn30

>Ask your neighbours
Didn't think of that. Thanks user!
They probably saw the whole thing cause he was making a lot of noise and they'll back me up if the police are involved. Really appreciate the help!

I'd be pissed too if people messed with my Parakeet. Birds are great pets.

Fuck you OP.

>Birds are great pets

You reacted reasonably. Nothing to fear.

>lie
yeah that will end well

Did you punch him after he was knocked out?

No. I only punched him twice after he hit me and stopped when he fell down.

So you neutralised the threat to your safety, at which point you stopped.

You'll be fine.

That's reassuring as fuck. Thanks user.

I've copy and reported this entire thread to Scotland Yard.

The nice constable has informed me that he takes such nefarious acts seriously and he will bringing you up on charges of conspiracy against the Crown.

Of course you can get arrested for it. You can both get done. Him for a section 4 public order offence (threatening behavior) and you for assault. The thing is whether you'll get charged or not. Unlikely as you sound like it was completely in self defence.

But this is only if they call the police and It's unlikely they will cos they know full well that it was provoked.

tl;dr - you could get arrested but you'll be fine.

"Dont you disrespect my bird."

What sort of british slang is this? Dafuq is a bird? Did you say his parrot was gay? Or that he had a small dick? Someone explain to a Leaf

Bird = Girl

That's fucking retarded.

Im totally gonna start calling girls "birds" now.

Fucking OP, insulting a kid's blue jay like that.

Aaah loool. Your blue jay has no bobs and small vajene. I come shit street. Blue jay can't find.

You best hope he doesn't let one of his friends fuck him so he can say you raped him

i fucking lol'd

Not quite as retarded as calling girls 'broads' but ok

You are in England, so you have absolutely No Right to Defend yourself. You (Cucks) gave up all your guns and knives, so now you have to rely on the unarmed (LOL) Police to come and save you from Psychopaths. They have Guns and Knives BTW. Good Luck

You say that like we can't own knives. We just can't carry them in public